TSO’s Magical Mystery Tour of Classic Rock Concerts

As most know I got more death threats this weekend, which is always fun. So to take my mind off it I was constructing a list of the top 10 classic rock concerts I ever went to. It actually became 11, because I couldn’t find anyone of these I would drop from the list. They aren’t in any particular order, just as they came to my mind I tossed them up. This is basically an open thread for you foggies like me. I used to listen to nothing but classic rock, now I only listen to angry Irish music, and books on audio tape. And Mike and Mike.

Nonetheless, little-known TSO fact #245,128: my job in High School was ticket scalper. Yup. At Saratoga Performing Arts Center in New York. We devised this plan where you pay like $500 and become an endower or somesuch of the center. Most the people with that kind of cash wanted to see Barbra Streisand or the Boston Pops and shit. So we would get tickets the day before the general unwashed public and then sell them. Like tickets to then virtually unknown Guns and Roses opening for Aerosmith. We made a killing on those tickets. Likewise Heart, believe it or not. Two obese women singing about sex, but damned if they didn’t pay for beer money for a week or three.

Anyway, again, in no order, here’s the best 11 concerts I ever saw, although none of the videos are from shows I actually saw.

1) Grateful Dead, Box of Rain.

I went to 54 Grateful Dead shows between 1987 and about 1997*.  (Make that 1995.  Jerry died in 1995.  Let us not forget, a US Army Veteran.) My most vivid memory was getting stuck in Syracuse going from a show somewhere in Canada to New York City. Like 3 days I was stuck there, with no food but what they had in vending machines. The only concert I ever inhaled at, albeit it was a balloon was at Rich Stadium in Buffalo. That was the day I almost lost a testicle on a picket fence too, as we had General Admission seats, and if you were the first to get to the front, you stayed at the front. I got stuck on the damn fence, tore my pants, but still made it front row. Thankfully I had a ton of liquid pain killer. My buddy passed out during the 6 hour wait and ended up with one half of his face so sunburned he looked like Janus the two faced God.

I’m picking Box of Rain because every time Phil sang it he screwed up the lyrics. Of his own song.

2) The Band, The Weight

That same friend and I were driving by the “Big E” in Springfield Mass one time and saw a marquee that said only “The Band, tonight.” I didn’t know if it was some random band, or the actual The Band. Thankfully, it turned out the latter. There couldn’t have been 50 people there. They played on the back of a truck bed, and were so fricken hammered that the drummer (Rick Danko) fell off the back. He remounted the truck and no one even said anything. They were fricken PLOWED. SO was I.

3) Lynyrd Skynyrd, Simple Man

Again, same friend, once again, wasted. One of the guys from the band, seeing that we were sobering up actually handed us the fifth of whiskey he was drinking DURING THE SHOW, and we gulped it down like a man dying in the desert. Just wasted, great show.

4) Carlos Santana, Evil Ways

A nice man in the parking lot gave me a mushroom pizza. I’m guessing that they weren’t portabello, because I ended up talking to a dumpster later that night. Hell of a philosopher that dumpster. Only time I ever took a drug, and I thought it was pizza. (No lie.) Lake Compounce, or something like that in rural Connecticut. It was about 100 that day, and pouring rain. I was doing belly slides down this hill during the show when I crashed into this chick. I helped her up, and then said “Holy shit, you look exactly like my ex-girlfriend, it is uncanny.” And she replied, “probably because we dated for 3 years jackass.” Great show. Steel Pulse Band opened for them. Dude playing Bongos had to have been 116 years old.

5) Jethro Tull, This as a brick

Tull is amazing, and my favorite band. But my favorite story is about the night I didn’t see them. A buddy from the NRA and I decided to go and get scalper tickets at Meriwhether Post Pavilion outside DC. As we pulled up, some blue haired lady was there with a sign that said “Tickets and back stage passes, for face value.” I almost wept in joy. I pulled up, grabbed the tickets and handed her the money. As we parked I looked at the tickets, which read “Tom Jones.” I asked my buddy, “Who the F is Tom Jones”? Turned out, we came a night too late. So I sold someone else the tickets. I still have no clue who Tom Jones is.

6) Zeppelin (actually Robert Plant), Tangerine

To be honest, I don’t remember much about this show. There may have been alcohol involved. I just remember it being awesome. SuperTramp opened for him. Why? I still don’t know. But dude, it was Robert Plant, gotta be Top 11.

7) Mark Knopfler, Brothers in Arms

Still think this is one of the more haunting songs of all time. Saw it at the Hartford Coliseum I believe. Just amazing dude in concert.

8) John Kay (and Steppenwolf), Magic Carpet Ride

Another little known TSO fact is that while I was at UMASS (1990-1991) I was the wrestling coach for North Hampton High School. Less impressive is that I only had 1 wrestler. We practiced with Amhearst High, but they were a different division. So basically my kid would wrestle for them, with it not counting, and then he wrestled in the Division 2 Western Mass Tourney, which he won. Anyway, his Dad owned a dive bar in North Hampton and I got a call from him one night that said “Dad says come down now, and he won’t tell me what he wants you for.” So down I go, and they let me in the back door. His Dad starts ordering shots for me and these 4 or 5 dudes sitting there. We got plowed. Turned out, I was actually drinking with John Kay and Steppenwolf. My boss said I should have stabbed him because he hates this tune, but they were a lot of fun. (I had the same chance to do the same with Molly Hatchet, but to my undying shame, I didn’t go because my exam in Poli Sci was the next day.)

9) Eric Clapton, Can’t Find My Way Home

I saw this one at SPAC also. Now, the video is Winwood singing, which is awesome. But when I saw Clapton, he actually had some African American guy singing, and his voice was uncanny. He had Winwood down cold. Just an amazing concert.

10) David Gilmour/Pink Floyd: Wish you were here.

To say I was a Floyd fan is to understate it. I lived Floyd. In fact, mutual love of Floyd is what got me the aforementioned ex-girlfriend. I even used to celebrate Gilmour’s birthday (March 6). I had a 6 foot concert picture of him on my wall. (The celebrating his birthday thing was a little weird, in that I also celebrated the yearly anniversary of Frodo destroying the Ring of Power, which is likely why aforementioned girlfriend dumped me, and didn’t let me play her cymbals so to speak.)

11) Roger McGuinn, Turn, Turn, Turn

I saw this one at some tiny venue, I think in Stockbridge Mass, but it wasn’t Tanglewood. It was in doors. All I know is that he stuck around and talked to us afterwards and I ran out the next day and bought a twelve string guitar. I learned how to play about 10 seconds of Wish You Were Here (see above) and then never used it again, because I have fingers like Vienna sausages. Not my favorite song, but just the way it sounded was amazing. And he really was a nice dude.

OK, have at it, let’s hear your concert stories.

Category: "Teh Stoopid"