What Veteran’s Day Means To Me

My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird.  Close to the end of the book, after Scout has walked Arthur (Boo) Radley home is this passage;

“Atticus was right. One time he said you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them, just standing on the Radley porch was enough.”

I was sent the essay below by someone very close to me.  It offers a different perspective, one that is shared by all too many people. In short it offers us the chance to stand on her porch.

What Veteran’s Day Means To Me

Holidays are always hard on me.  I dread them with a passion.  If it weren’t for giving my 8-year old son memories and teaching him what they are about, I would disregard them altogether.

I have never served in the military, but my brother did.  He was killed in an accident while serving aboard the USS Coral Sea in 1988.  He died on my 14th birthday.  Even though it has been 26 years, that pain is still very real and very raw.  Especially on holidays.

Most people enjoy Veteran’s Day for many reasons.  Some of those reasons are selfish, such as a paid day off of work, or going to a parade, or even the great Veteran’s Day sales.  Very much like Christmas, the true meaning is lost on many.

I live in a small community.  We only started having Veteran’s Day parades in the past few years.  I took my son for the first time last year because he was in the Boy Scouts and they were part of the ceremony.

Going to a Veteran’s Day ceremony is torture for me.  I see all these fine men and women in their uniforms and listen to the speeches about time served and lives lost.  I have yet to hear Taps played and a 21 gun salute without totally losing every ounce of dignity I have left and bawling like a little girl.  Luckily, a retired Navy man who knows my circumstances saw me last year and came to basically hold me up while I tried to keep from making a total fool of myself.  Even though I would never disrespect those who have served in any way, I go somewhere else in my mind while all of this is going on, so that I don’t have to think about my tremendous loss.  I leave as quickly as humanly possible so I can go home and mourn in private.

There are two ways I look at Veteran’s Day.  First, I am eternally grateful to all who have served and continue to serve.  I have many, many friends who are veterans.  My boyfriend is a veteran.  His son is currently serving. Two of my best friends are veterans. I am friends with at least fifty of my brother’s shipmates.  I honor them and all veterans on this and every day. To me, there are few things in this world more honorable than defending this country.

The second way I view Veteran’s Day is it yet another day of mourning and remembering what I have lost. To be honest, I hate it like I hate all other holidays and days of significance.  Yes, it has been almost 27 years.  But I have lost much more than a sibling.  I lost my protector, years of spending time with him, his wedding, his children, his contribution to our family and society.  And yes, he was my hero, but he was much more.  I have not read ONE negative word about him on any blog or website. He was known to be a hard worker, a great guy, a comedian.  But he was so very much more.  He was my only brother. He was my hero. He was my defender. He was my world.  And he is gone.

So every time these fake pieces of shit put on a uniform and medals they didn’t earn, they are disrespecting him and everything he lived and died for.  I have no doubt there is a special place in hell for them, along with the Westboro Baptist Church members. All I can say to them is karma is an evil bitch with PMS.  May God not have mercy on their souls.

The lady that wrote this is one of the kindest and most honest people I have ever known.

I have seen the pain and anguish that the loss of her brother has caused.  I have seen the genuine passion that she has in supporting all  current and former members of the military.

I cannot think of a better example of true strength and real courage than that of a Gold Star Family.

Category: Holidays, We Remember