My voting is done, crying to begin soon

OK, so I rolled out of bed at my customary 0520. Out the door at roughly 5:23, ran to the polling place about 700 meters away. Elementary School. I was 40th in line, but as I waited for 0600 the line started getting just preposterous. I live in a pretty affluent area, right on the outskirts of Mount Vernon. It’s politically just to the left of Havana, although my particular enclave seemed slightly better.

For whatever reason I found myself wedged between a McCain couple in front of me, and a guy who seemed to be a McCain supporter behind me. That means absolutely nothing, but it shocked me to see any. Some lady from the Democratic Party was walking up and down the line trying to hand out sample ballots, I didn’t see a single person take one. Not because they were GOP, but, as the guy behind me commented “If you don’t know by now who you are voting for, should you really be here?”

Apparently Fairfax County has gone to a dual system where you can select either paper or computer voting. As I went down the hall to where we would actually vote there was a video playing explaining how to vote. Some of the faux candidates on the video were Neil Armstrong and Amelia Earheart. Isn’t she dead? This is a new take on the dead people voting, atleast now you can select dead people as you dead vote.

On a side note, Children suck at art. I mean they really REALLY suck at art. Apparently, the kids had to do pictures of themselves. I think all the children in my neighborhood come from the Chernobyl region. They have serious issues with macro-cephalia and are either hirsute or suffer male (and female) pattern baldness. Seriously, they got the noses and ears and stuff right, but hair was a significant issue. I must live in a land of Slestaks. And don’t even get me started on the crappy pumpkin things they had on the other wall. Pumpkins are still coming in the same pumpkin coloring aren’t they?

Anyway, I made it in the room and there were 5 campaign monitors checking off names, and 3 people doing the actual checking in. That made little sense to me but so it goes. Anyway, got my name checked off which went fine, chose the electronic voting method and walked up. Only 4 things on the ballot, so fairly easy. McCain, check. Warner, check. Finian, check. No on parks. Reread. WOW, why the hell did I vote for Warner? OK, uncheck him. Attempt to write in “Diamond Joe Quimby” for Senate. I mean hell, since no one else is taking the election all that seriously, I won’t either. Well, typing in Quimby will take too long, I can’t in good conscience vote for Jim Gilmore. He’s a nice enough guy, but honestly I didn’t see a single ad, not a single sign, and no presence at all. So I voted for some third party candidate.

Pushed teh VOTE button, and off it went to wherever my vote goes or doesn’t go. Got the little sticker and moved out to run home.

Frankly, the whole thing was a bit of a let down. I didn’t feel any excitement at all. Not a tinge. None of my candidates will win, and that is almost a foregone conclusion. Plus, after working during the Afghani elections, where every voter stood in line for hours, with the pervasive and REAL fear of being killed by some lunatic, just voting seems a bit boring. I think it is all the TV shows where morons talk politics with the electorate and you suddenly realize that as a society we are screwed.

That video of the lady talking about how she won’t need to worry about gas and her mortgage when the Messiah is elected has taken it all out of me. If a representative democracy is predicated on an informed voting body, that ended long ago in this country. Now it’s more like American Idol than who will do the right thing. Oh well, so that was my morning. Figured I would share.

ON EDIT: My brother just checked in from New Jersey. Said the lines were long and ridiculous. Said that at his polling site at 6 am there was an elderly lady who was sobbing on the lawn and yelling that finally she had a reason to vote. Said there was also some dude with a sign as people drove in that read “Your choice is simple: War Hero or Terrorist.”

A yes, the sights, sounds and smells of Democracy. Obama is not really a terrorist, and any CHANGE an elderly woman HOPES he will make ain’t gonna happen. Seriously, hyperbole has taken over. Tomorrow, after the fires have gone out in urban areas, taxes will still get paid, football games will go on, and we’ll still be in 2 wars. It will not be Eden or Armageddon. It’ll be more like Newark or Scranton, which sucks bad enough.

 

EDIT x2:  It could be worse.

LAND O’ LAKES, Fla. (AP) – A nudist community on Florida’s west coast wants to establish the first clothing-optional polling site. The Caliente Resorts, located in Pasco County north of Tampa, has approached election officials about the idea.

If so, I need to move residences. Are there any all girls campuses in Northern Virginia?

EDIT x3: SGT Doug from Ohio checking in (a former Team Leader of mine):

I voted in Avon Ohio. Very long lines. VERY VERY long. Hearing that machines are broke in Columbus and people are abandoning the lines. Beautiful Day in Ohio, my suburb went fine.

EDIT x4: My internet wife checks in from Deepest Red Texas.
cranked it out early today to go vote before work, everyone said the lines were going to be terrible. There was one person in front of me and he had a very hard time filling out his registration form. I spent the 15 minutes it took him to fill out his name and address checking out the ZZ Top Guitarist who was checking in the M-Z line, I think it’s great that they give back to the community! I will now never go anywhere without my camera because I’m sad that I can’t share him with you all. Finally it’s my turn and I sign in he stamps my card and I go about filling in my bubbles. Feeling certain I have chosen correctly I insert my ballot into the machine and ask for my sticker….Evidently precinct 1411 in Carrollton TX does not get stickers…I feel so gypped, I don’t know that I feel like my ballot is in safe hands, I think I need to vote again.

EDIT x5: Just got off the phone with my buddy David Bellavia. Bells tells me that he waited in line 2 hours in the Buff-burbs to vote. Said his precinct was all conservatives. Said he was unsure about his House race though as the GOP candidate has been hit with some late dirt that may derail him. (Ed Note: Good, GOP deserves it, and hopefully in 2010 we can welcome Rep Bellavia into the House.) Said OPERATION MURTHAPALOOZA went well. Said Murtha has fallen to taking credit for everything in Jonestown. He said every building in Town is the “John P. Murtha something-or-other.” A Russell victory would make David a happy former SSG.

EDIT x6: My battlebuddy from the Army just called me. He voted in Montgomery Village, Maryland. He apparently hasn’t showered, shaved or changed clothes in three days. He took the liberty of telling everyone present that he was very excited to cast his vote for Obama so he could immediately see his Gov’t checks go up. He’s just to the right of Attila the Hun, but I guess when you look like a bum, you go with what will work.

Category: Politics