Totally legit; Major Sergeant Major
Our friend Chris Hernandez posted the above picture on his blog the other day about this fellow who said his name is “Dan” despite what the name tag says. The story from Chris goes like this;
If you’re thinking, “That’s one badass Major Sergeant Major Special Forces Desert Storm veteran Physical Training Master,” you’re right! My friend, at right, asked the man what group (meaning SF group) he was in. The man said, “82nd Airborne”. My friend asked, “No, what group?” The guy said, “Rangers”. When my friend started laughing, the man said that’s how many tours he had done in Kuwait (!) and wanted to fight. Later he came back and bought my friend a beer.
So, you know he’s totally legit. AKO says there is one D. DeMartino in the Army and he’s a private in Arizona. The are two R. DeMartinos who are both civilians. So, if any of our friends in Dallas recognize this guy, lets get something we sink our teeth into and get his records. There can’t be too many Major-Sergeant Majors in the Army running around in a PT jacket with that finery. He wants attention, so I say we should give it to him.
Category: Phony soldiers
How come all these high speed, low drag wannabe bozos all have pot bellies?
Holy crap, the Corporal Captain got promoted (sorry M*A*S*H fans I couldn’t resist).
Hah! I get it. Cheers with a Grape Nehi.
+1
Corporal Capt. Radar O’Reily!!
He’s also rockin’ O5 oak leaves on his collar. Must be that experimental rank Lieutenant Sergeant Major Colonel.
That is what one does at an All-Points Logistics cocktail party.
Damn hell….what part of this world does this worthless sack of shit live in? This moronic ass needs a beating of the worse kind…from my respectfully evil son of a bitch retired command sergeant major.
Just saw the answer…good thing for this lying sack of shit I am in the middle of a two-week finals and papers stretch at school. I would gladly drive two hours west to beat some sense into his ass.
Any body here up to challenging pot belly to a standard APFT?
Not only does this fat tub of shit look the part, but he be sporting LTC clusters as well. And for some reason, I swear I’ve seen him a few times around East Texas before. Hm…
Where in East Texas, brother? Both him and you.
I wanna say it was at the depot, PwNCO. I used to haul out of Beaumont up to it until getting laid off at the end of 2010.
Got it. If he comes to the Pineywoods area, he might not be leaving with that jacket intact.
He can buy me a beer then I’ll bust it upside his head to knock some sense in him. But wait…these “Truth Molesters” have no sense nor honor of any kind.
“Hardly worth going to war no more.”
What in the name of Jupiter’s sweaty balls is that clown supposed to be? I’d have had to laugh at him too…before shoving that beer bottle up his ass.
This guy should be making my sandwiches at a Subway or Quiznos or at some local Massachusetts Grinder joint.
Uhm…C2Show I kinda like my sammiches at Subway made correctly. I don’t think he has the brain power to learn the kinds of bread they have much less get all my veggies right. 😀
Those ugly PT jackets are the last thing I’d wear to try and impress civilians.
I remember a humor page in Readers Digest about 50 years ago. It was about one Major Seargent and one Seargent Major Majors who worked together and all the confusion that resulted in daily operations and signing paperwork.
True story. I was stationed at Andrews AFB in the mid 90’s. There were two female officers that lived in the book-ends of a four unit town house bulding on base. Their names were Major Captain & Captain Major. Of course that also meant the Major at one point in her career was Capt. Captain, and if promoted the other would become Maj. Major.
I was once stationed with a young Petty Officer who’s first name was General.
I once worked with a Sergeant whos last name was Major. It was funny seeing the confusion that caused.
I had an old Platoon Sergeant, last name of General. Went on to be Command Sergeant Major General.
I worked on the other side of the building with that CSM….I think in Fort Hood.
My favorite was one I saw on either Duffel Blog or USAWTFM on FB. It was a photo from the 1950’s taken at a USAF installation in Alaska. The installation commander’s name happened to be Sargent (spelled like that.)
The door to his private office was marked as follows:
COMMANDER
LIEUTENANT
COLONEL
SARGENT
PRIVATE
😀
A warrant officer once told me of a lieutenant he’d served with whose first name was General. He’d answer the phone with “this is Lieutenant General Smith”. When he was promoted he lost a lot of status.
I once worked for a captain whose last name was “Kern.” He was from New Hampshire and talked rather fast.
He said when he was a lieutenant he always got people to take his calls, because he’d call up and say “This is Lieutenant Kern, can I talk to…” and the PFC or Sp/4 who answered would invariably shout “I have a Lt. Colonel somebody on the phone.” 😀
The wife and I were married at the Fort Carson Hospital Chapel by Chaplain COL(Ret) Sargent.
I guess he bought that dragon looking patch on the left side of his beer belly because it looked fierce. That’s 5th Signal Command.
The dragon patch? No way man, it’s from his covert work on Operation Dragon Ass.
He had me at obverse subduded flag on PT jacket!
LEGIT … And a smiley face for trying REALLY hard!
Scuttlefuctk!
Not. Even. Trying.
Thank God I had an empty stomach when I looked at the pic, otherwise I’d have thrown up!! Jeez, some college freshman could come up with a more convincing jacket while on LSD!!
I did not realize that Commander Monkress and All-Points Logistics had a Dallas office/staff.
The only thing missing is a SEAL Trident, then he’d be complete. Is lardo sporting a Ranger tab to boot?
No Ranger Tab (thankfully), but he’s got an SF patch sewn on the right sleeve of the PFT jacket. He can’t even get that right. Instead of getting the actual SSI, he has one of those patches you see sewn/glued to veteran ball caps. What a turd merchant.
Green Thumb…yes they’re recruiting Chevalier Big Time.
He needs a ranger tab, jump wings, HALO, expert marksman & don’t forget his Silver Star & 5 Purple Hearts! He got them all at the local surplus! What a fucking douche nozzle!
All those are implied because of the SF patch. Just ask him, I’m certain he’d be glad to fill you in with all his career highlights.
But all of that stuff would make him look like a fake….
Just the kind of assclown I’d ask if he trained at either Fort Ticonderoga or Camp Tanner, and then I’d embarrass him in front of God and everyone!!!
Hory Clap!!!
That fat bag of douche even makes my less-than-stellar career look heroic.
Yeah, when you are in your 30s or 40s and are already a bag of lard…it’s pretty much impossible to believe the tales of daring don’ts from these assclowns…
VOV…you know I’ve seen some old Rangers. I’ve even seen a few old SF guys. None of them looked much different, physique wise, than the day they mustered out. So when I see a tub of shit like this, claiming what he claims, that is always my first go to Bullshit thought.
There I was…No shit…Deep in enemy territory, moving tactically from one covered position to the next. Til I saw my target. I got ready to pull the trigger. I looked at my target and said, “Make it a DOUBLE cheeseburger.”
I’d love to see what he’s sporting on the left sleeve. Probably a Ranger scroll or some Airborne stuff.
I say we refer to him as MAJOR ESTUPIDO!!
Major Malfunction.
Even better, “Sergeant Major Minus.”
Guido sports a pinky ring and his last name appears to be Demartini. He’s in AZ. Methinks his witness protection cover is blown.
I agree… the copper bracelet and the pinky ring scream “AZ” to me. After returning from his last deployment, he is trying to get in touch with his inner chakra. Most people don’t know it, but the diagonal stripes on the PT Jacket are much more than reflective.
Or trying to get in touch with his inner wiseguy
Body by Budweiser… badass with those 12oz curls.
I think it would be very therapeutic (and cool) to take that beer bottle and then slap him across the face with it.
Or shove that beer bottle up his ass, light his greasy hair on fire and watch while he drips over the sides like one of those wine bottle candles.
That retarded APFU “uniform” he’s wearing needs to be displayed at the Poser Hall of Shame Museum…