Iran calls off Atlantic expedition
Andy sends us a link to the news that the Iranians have cancelled their well-publicized cruise of US-waters by their warships.
ut on Sunday, Fars quoted Navy commander Admiral Habibollah Sayyari as saying: “Due to a change in schedule, the battle Group-29 of the naval forces of the Iranian navy will not head to the open waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the mission will possibly be given to another group.”
He gave no reason for the decision but said warships’ missions were likely to change “depending on the situation in the region”, such as a rise in piracy in the Gulf of Aden.
Yeah, pirates, that’s why. So our Atlantic moat once again proves useful. The Iranians are planning to hold a joint exercise with our former allies, Pakistanis, though, in the Oman Sea, according to Fox News;
Iranian state television says Iran has started a joint naval drill with the Pakistani navy east of the strategic Strait of Hormuz, through which one fifth of the world’s oil supply passes.
Tuesday’s report did not say how the exercise in the Oman Sea would last.
Yeah, most 6th century cultures do better when they stay close to home rather than attempt things that the West accomplished in the 15th century.
Category: Terror War
We could send Jim Van Fleet and the Coast Guard Aux out to greet them, with Denny Cheeseliar providing air Cover with his C-130.
While we’re at it, lets give ’em Cheesy D. Duke for survival training, the Wound Wanger as a backup Sniper, and Witlessfart in case they need a “Trail Assassin”!
While we’re at it, lets give ’em Cheesy D. Duke for survival training, the Wound Wanger as a backup Sniper, and Witlessfart in case they need a “Trail Assassin”!
Joint exercises with Pakistan? It’ll probably play out like a bad episode of “Deadliest Catch.”
“Yeah, most 6th century cultures do better when they stay close to home rather than attempt things that the West accomplished in the 15th century.”
My thoughts as well. First I thought, they ran out of gas. Then, they ran out of food and stores. Then they looked at a map at how big the Atlantic really is and said “Allahu Akbar! Omar, dit you see dis map? Dis Atlantics Oceans is pretty damn it, big! You be sure we want cross it? Pretty deep you know too! How much gas we gots? How much goats we got left? No not de SEX GOATS, de eating goats? Only three? Dats it, we go home now! I like sand much, much better dan dis big waters. How bouts you Omar? Okays, now we go downstairs… dat how you say on boats right? Yes we go downstairs and have us a sex goats before an eating goats! Praise Allah for goats!! Go shoot de rifles now…but outside dis time!”
“Achmed?”
“Yes, Abdullah?”
“It Thursday.”
“We go below deck NOW, cross big water later, BLEHLEHLEH…!”
Iranian military must have seen Mr. Shipley’s latest video about super Corpsman/Navy SEAL James Hoskins and thought it wasn’t worth the risk with such a bona fide badass amphibious war machine within striking distance.
You mean James “Ho-Ho” Hoskins. And smile when you say that, pardner.
“Ho-Ho” Hoskins, dammit!
*wipes beverage off of computer screen*
He has many call signs under his vast belt but my favorite is James “liter cola” Hoskins.
Shipley called him “pizza eater” because apparently the SEAL database has nicknames and that one seemed most apt.
Well, I think we can guess what the database would suggest for a certain non-Lt Col non-USAF “doctor”‘s nickname . . . .
Easy Cheese
Better Cheddar
Cheesy Rider
Cheese Ball
Cheesy Poof
Just to name a few.
This is the text of the message that the captain of that flotilla of Iranian rowboats sent:
“Unable to proceed. Supplies of Dramamine exhausted.”
Must have been Admiral Habibollah Sayyari’s day in the barrel.
Does an Iranian admiral look anything like a Mexican general?
Actually, they realized they couldn’t row that far.
So they’re not coming, after all?
Well, then what do I do with all that hallal chicken I bought?
What, no Operation Praying Mantis II? Darn the luck.
They most likely figured out just how much of a logistics tail you need to get conventionally powered frigates across an ocean, and how expensive that can get with limited resupply points. Also, small ships built for gulf waters can take a hell of a beating in the open ocean, especially if they aren’t crewed by folks who are used to sailing in blue water. I imagine that deep down, those sailors are glad to hear their new orders.
Anyway, still a nice propaganda piece for their leaders.
Being the optimist here, I’d like to think of this as an indication that NASA’s mission to “reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science … and math and engineering” has been a success. Obviously, the Iranians have learned to put pencil to paper and performed some basic logistical calculations. In the process they figured out that they can’t get here from there.
So, this is a win for NASA and a win for Iran.
You’re a “glass half full” kind of person, aren’t you?
Ever since the Glorious Leader issued that particular directive, I’ve been wondering: NASA was giving space shuttle rides to people from countries that didn’t even have their own air force for twenty-odd years. What the hell else CAN they do to “reach out” to the third-world, sixth-century shitholes of which he spoke? Yet another indication, as if we needed one, that Barry is completely full of shit.
I am disappointed … We Navy guys were very interested in observing their underway replenishment (UNREP) procedures …
Oh they don’t have that capability …
The Atlantic Ocean crossing is a bitch without adequate and reserve fuel …
Maybe they consulted with Bernath and his iPad fuel calculator early on in their deployment planning and they believed fuel would not be an issue!
Just sayin!
Math is hard.