Yer Friday Funny – About That Famous Town in “Kansas”

Dunno how common the term is in other services, but in the Army there’s a rather crude term that’s used (or at least was at formerly used ) at times when referring to an unfamiliar and faraway place.  That phrase is, “Bumf**k, Egypt”.

Much less common is a variant:  “Bumf**k, Kansas.”  And that second phrase purportedly has an, um, interesting origin.

What follows purports to be the origin of that second phrase.  I cannot swear to the veracity of the story; I wasn’t there when the alleged incident occurred.  It’s also unclear whether the person who related the story to me about 30 years ago was there or was relating a second-hand story he’d heard.

Still, here goes.  Enjoy.

. . .

Sometime in the late 1970s or early part of the 1980s, a discussion occurred at a US Army school.  I believe the account I heard said it was at the Army’s Command and General Staff College at Leavenworth, but I could be wrong.  The subject of the discussion is not terribly important.

During that discussion, one of those present – a mid-level US officer taking the course – used the phrase “Bumf**k, Egypt” in conversation.  The phrase was fairly common at the time as a reference to an unknown, faraway place.

It turned out that wasn’t exactly the best choice of words.

Within earshot was an Allied officer – a LTC – who was attending the course.  The Allied officer was from Egypt.  This individual spoke excellent English, and was following the discussion.

The allied officer definitely heard and, unfortunately, understood the term “Bumf**k, Egypt”- interpreting it in a British-English, literal-definition sense.

Predictably, the man was initially somewhat taken aback.  He then was understandably and visibly offended.

A more senior US officer was also present, and had observed what had happened.  (My recollection was that he was leading the discussion – but again, it’s been around 30 years since I first heard the story – so I could be wrong.)  With his career flashing before him (being involved in an international incident resulting from an Ally’s national honor being insulted is NOT exactly career-enhancing), this more senior US officer immediately approached the Egyptian LTC and asked to speak with him.

He explained to the Egyptian LTC that no direct insult to his nation was intended.  He further explained the common, crude use of the term as a soldier’s reference to a place far away, of which the speaker has no knowledge and had never visited.  He also indicated he would counsel the US officer who had used the phrase.

The Egyptian LTC – obviously still angry – looked at the more senior US officer; he though for a few moments.  His face then softened.

The Egyptian LTC then smiled, and said the following, in Arabic-accented English:

“Very well, I can accept that explanation. 

But around me, would you please use instead the phrase, ‘Bumf**k, Kansas’ ?”

Category: Pointless blather, Who knows