Weekend Open Thread
Ex-Ph2 asked for a weekend open thread pretending that it was Sparks who wanted it; so here it is.
Category: Administrative
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Did you hear about the fisherman with the tiny noggin?
Down on the wharf one night this fisherman walks into the tavern and sits down to order. He’s 6’6″, all muscles, black wavy hair with Hollywood good looks. But…he has a noggin the size on an orange! The bartender keeps looking and looking at him and finally says, “Hey buddy I gotta ask ya. Here you are a huge muscular guy, great looking but your noggin is so small, what happened? Was it a birth thing or something?”
The fisherman says, “Well I’ll tell ya. Late one evening as I was pulling in my nets the last time, I caught a mermaid. She said, Mister I’ll give you three wishes if you’ll throw me back in. So of course the first thing I think of is money ya know cause I’m just a poor fisherman making a meager living. BOOM! There on the deck was this old sea chest full of jewels and gold doubloons, hundreds of years old. All the wealth I could ever ask for! So she asks, what is your second wish? I said well I am a shrimp of a guy and not a ladies man at all. I always wanted to be a big strapping, good looking guy. BAM! I feel the change and look in the mirror and there I am, 6’6” tall, black wavy hair and handsome as hell. Then she says, well you have one wish left, what do you want? I said well, I don’t get out much for dating or really have any women in my life at all. I rally miss that part of life. Could, could…we have sex? She replies, well as you can see, from the waist down I am a fish, so that is physically impossible.
I said…okay then…how bout a little head?
*Sitting behind a drum kit*
*Badump-bump-tssss*
He’s here all week, folks. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. Please don’t forget to tip your waiter or waitress!
Hey…try the veal.
Mustang2LT…Sir I want to take the time to write again how much I appreciate and thank you for serving our country. Especially as I consider your upcoming deployment. I want with all my heart to say…be safe there. However I know safety is just not in the nature of the job you have been called to do or the place you will be going. Unfortunately, they just do not go together. I must say it anyway though. Be safe Sir. I have determined in my heart and mind, from reading your comments, that you are a good Officer. This means you will be keeping the safety and welfare of the men you command, in the forefront of your thoughts at all times. While you are watching over them though, keep a watchful thought for yourself as well. You will be greatly needed over there by them but you are also greatly needed back here at home too. Please remember Lieutenant, you will be in my daily prayers and so will your family here, as they await your return. Truly indeed, all we here, are awaiting your “safe” return. God Speed to you Sir. God Speed.
Sparks, I would like to thank you again for your kind words and I would also like to thank all of you here as well. As the time gets closer to my leaving for training, it becomes more real, not that there was ever any doubt that I would be called up again at some point. Anyone who joined the military after 9/11 and thought they wouldn’t get deployed diplayed a naivete bordering on foolishness. My hope is to be able to utilize the skills and training that I have attained over the years in both the military and civillian sectors to accomplish the mission. In that I am fortunate that my civillian job dovetails nicely with my military role. The responsibilities I will have do weigh on me and I will do my best to take care of my soldiers and be the leader that they expect and deserve. When I was commissioned approximately 18 months ago I said to friends and family that “this day has been 27 years in the making.” My goal had been to attend the Air Force Academy from the time I was 12 years old. When I was a senior in high school, I had the grades, I had the extra-curriculars, I had passed the PT test for entry, and I had the congressional nomination. Unfortunately, due to some medical issues that I disclosed during a medical questionaire, I was barred from admission to the Academy. I later enlisted in both the Air Force Reserve and the Air National Guard and the dream of being an officer faded as I was happy to serve as an enlisted man. However, the opportunity presented itself when I was informed that I could be commissioned at up to age 42 in the Army Guard. I went to Army Basic at 38, went to OCS at 39 and despite the trials and tribulations of OCS, I was not going to let anything or anyone stop my from attaining my goal. It is not often that one gets a second chance to achieve a goal, so I latched… Read more »
Damn, Boot camp at 38 and OCS at 39… I RETIRED at 37.
Id be lucky to stay awake through a PFT at that age, much less pass it,
Here-Here Lieutenant! Congratulations on never giving up on your dreams and then achieving them. As I wrote earlier, you, your soldiers and your family will remain in my prayers. God Speed.
It always helps to know that you have a bunch of us back here who are behind you completely. You will do just fine, with all that maturity going with you. Having the sense to see the reality will serve you well.
A bunch of us were well into our 40’s when we left for Desert Storm, so we know that it can be done. In fact, a buddy of mine who was enlisted then made the same decision you did and has since deployed as a newly minted occifer. er officer. He did just fine, as will you.
Proud of ya, young’un!
If you find yourself unemployed and have a skill for deception and false representation, call Commander Phil Monkress, Mrs. Smith and the Dishonorable Colonel for an interview.
Why wait? Call “Fakey” Phil and his boys.
Steal while you can!
I know this is a couple of days old but I figured I might be able to get a hit. My MC has raised a nice little sum of money as a non-profit organization. We are now looking for a worthy veteran(s) that could use the money. As far as we’re aware, we cannot donate the money to another charity; it has to be to a veteran or veterans. We would prefer to donate the money locally here in Indiana somewhere but that is not completely necessary. I figured I’d throw it out there and see what I’d get back and plus I’m tired of seeing MCs get shit on here so I’m hoping I can show you guys that they’re not all the same