Who knew; atomic wedgies kill
I saw this yesterday, but I thought it was an Onion article or something, but I guess not;
Pottawatomie County deputies say a man killed his stepfather by giving him an atomic wedgie. Brad Lee Davis, 33, is now behind bars accused of murder.
Court papers show Davis admitted to pulling Denver St. Clair’s underwear over the his back and head — allowing the elastic band to wrap around St. Clair’s neck.
Apparently, Davis, a former Marine, called 911 to report his crime and stuck around to talk to police before he was hauled in. there’s probably ore to the story than just an atomic wedgie, though. The article says that there’s blunt force trauma involved, too.
Maybe Davis should have given St. Clair the less-lethal wet willie, or an Indian rub. But these crimes need to stop, so I’m going to write my Congressman and urge him to support legislation to ban tidy whities – boxers don’t have the elasticity of briefs for men and probably couldn’t have been stretched over St. Clair’s head. No one needs an elastic waistband that large. If you can’t get the crotch wedged into a man’s ass crack with boxers, you have no business giving wedgies.
News9.com – Oklahoma City, OK – News, Weather, Video and Sports |
Thanks to Rick for the link.
Category: Crime
Wait until the Commandant Janice Amos gets a hold of this. Marine Corps Wide Stand down.
Just banning briefs does not go nearly far enough; all undergarments with an elastic waist need to be banned, Jonn. If you only ban briefs, people will continue to use the boxer-brief loophole to commit murder. An outright underpants ban with no exceptions is the only way to keep these things off the streets.
Sometimes you just have to say “WTF,over”?
ROTFLMAO! (At myself!) Here I was reading the headline thinking oh shit, somebody got their hands on a wedge of plutonium or uranium and died. Then I read more and it is about an ass gasket getting pulled over a guy’s head! I was not mentally prepared before reading. Sorry for his stepfather. Brad will learn the meaning of getting his drawers “pulled”, for sure in the big house.
My youngest son told me about this last night, I did not believe it at first. I am sure there is more to the story than just the wedgie.
“If you can’t get the crotch wedged into a man’s ass crack with boxers, you have no business giving wedgies.”
That’s a pearl of wisdom right there. Words to live by. Forgive me, but that’s the sort of penetrating chrystal-clear truth I would expect to come from the 14th Dali Lama, not you. Gosh, I love this place.
#4 Sparks- Ass Gasket?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! I love this place too!
@7 Actually I misspoke in haste. I learned in the military that true ass gaskets are the toilet seat covers you find in public restrooms. Or as the dispensers around here get graffitied, “Free Mexican Shirts” or “Free Cowboy Hats”. 😀
i have never heard of an atomic wedgie in my 55yrs until today!
WTF,OVER?
Sparks, around here we call them Obama campaign hats.
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooly crap!
Ahhh … is that the music from The Twilight Zone I hear?
Scratching head …
If found guilty, Mr. Davis could face a potential death sentence…delivered by Texas Titty Twister.
It wasn’t an Atomic Wedgie.
It was the Brazilian Covered Wagon:
http://youtu.be/ahBZ65r3aeU
My spouse has had plenty of “atomic” blowouts and I live to smell them every morning…WTF, over? 🙂
That’s some seriously strong underwear.