Phony Colonel Guillory in Houston
I snagged this from our friends at the Stolen Valor Facebook page. I posted it on our fan page yesterday, but it here it is for you sociopaths.
I’m a police officer in Houston, while I was working an extra job for Walmart security, this knucklehead made a beeline for me trying to impress me with war stories that had holes bigger than the Fulda Gap. Said he was coming from Ft Carson and enroute to Ft Hood.
Unfortunately Houston is nowhere near that route. Then changed his story to say he was in town to teach unarmed combat to police and deputies. Stated he had returned from Iraq two weeks ago where he had been shot in the chest with a .50 desert eagle but had survived with a broken sternum.
When I said “so, a Colonel, that’s like an, 0-3, right, dude?” He said, “yeah, man, that’s exactly right.”
I let him keep going right up to the point he was going to leave and then I showed him my CAC card which identifies me as a Army Captain, and told him I knew he was faking and told him about the Stolen Valor act.
He got all sulky and said he was wearing the uniform in honor of his brother who was killed in Afghanistan two weeks ago, and then tried to say he wears the uniform for deer hunting.
He skittered off like a scared deer after I told him to beat it. I’d appreciate it if you could repost for a heads up to the Houston area.
Category: Phony soldiers
My concern is the powers that be see the rank on the name tape and decide to embrace such an awesome idea.
Hsd I been the Cop…he would have left in a t-shirt and underwear
Yeah, that rank on the nametape idea might inspire the Air Force to remove service and rank tapes from BDU’s and replace them with a leather name patch secured with Velcro. Oh wait, that DID happen when I was first in back in 1994! See, the Army had Gen. Eric “Beret” Shinseki and the Air Force had Gen. Merrill “Too many stupid ideas to list” McPeak!
#3 Mustang2LT:
I’m a McPeak survivor myself….though I did like the leather name patches. Trouble was it made the aircrew jealous….
Mike
For starters, he’s got the Army and name tapes reversed, which isn’t necessarily decisive. (It happened to me once, shortly after the ACUs were introduced. I kept one of my old BDUs in my closet for months to remind myself which side was which. As a memory device, I decided that the Army was a left-wing organization, and that I was always right. That did the trick.)
Of course, any poser who had done any research at all would know that your rank doesn’t belong on your name tape. Idiot.
Years ago, at a time when my duty uniform was the Class B, I deliberately put my name tag on the wrong side of my shirt on April Fool’s Day; no one said anything all day. In contrast to my unintentional ACU switch, when a staff sergeant very diplomatically called my attention to my error; I thanked her and switched them back on the spot.
I like that McDonalds is in the background, given that their mascot is a clown, though more respectable than this guy.
This clown is probably a vice-president with All Points Logistics.
Shot in the chest with a .50 AE, but survived with a broken sternum?
(koff!! bullshit!! koff!!)
Who uses the Desert Eagle .50 AE? Unless it’s “friendly” fire (pissed off his own people).
And I agree with #2, O-4E. He woulda left in skivvies. Or at least minus the hat, top and boots.
“Wears the uniform for deer hunting.” Well, if you spell that “dear” – that’s probably right.
The “Chef Boy-ar-dee” beret is a nice touch, too.
What an azz. Yeah, I wish the guy who caught him had escorted him to dressing room, had him strip, and then leave the premises – whether or not he was “going commando” that day – leaving the uniform behind.
@ 2. As a former Fed LEO and having dealt with morons like this before, I would have influenced a voluntary surrender of all the uniform items and suggested that a voluntary seach of his person and wallet would be a good although not required. Of course this would be done after indicating that he should first buy some sweats at SEARS.
Argh …
BTW … If you did not tell me he was a fraud, I would have said LEGIT based on the position of the beret and name tapes!
Better you than me accosting that shittyassed idiot, I don’t think I could have kept myself from throat punching that Paul K. “Pee Wee Herman” Wickre-level POS!!
I didn’t realize U.S. Soldiers were still getting shot in Iraq…
Is he deer hunting in a gravel pit? That is about the only place ACUs blend in.
This turd stain should be completely have been stripped of that uniform. He’s so full of BS it makes me want to look for him, and I am three hours to the north. To use it for deer hunting, but I call BS even to that. Dipshit was looking for attention and he got it, just not the type he thought he would get.
And no disrespect to the Army Captain / Police Officer / Security staff, but why did you let him go wearing OUR uniform, the one you and I have both risked our lives for. As a NCO, I would had squashed him like a grape.
Perhaps I am wrong, but wearing a green tshirt under your ACU top like this turd burglar seems highly non-regulation and probably a serious uniform violation. Am I right?
To my eyes, his undershirt appears to be the standard issue tan tshirt. But in the real military, yes, wearing anything other than the standard issue tan tshirt is out of regs.
I have no idea how these guys think they can get away from being found out as a poser.
The military ages you, in or not in combat it ages you, you walk different, the one thing that you will have for the rest of your life is a thirty inch step.
Combat ages you even faster. I know guys that are 23 years old and they look like they are 30 after they come back from combat tours.
I say we take his uniform and use it as a grease rag with him in it !!!
In case anyone wanted/needed confirmation: per this source, to date there has been precisely one US serviceman with the last name “Guillory” who has been killed in Afghanistan.
He wasn’t Army.
He was Sgt. Michael J. Guillory, USMC, 1st Marine Special Operations Battalion. Sgt. Guillory was lost in a non-combat incident in Helmand Provice on 14 December 2012. He was from Pearl River, LA.
This a-hole is a complete Lying Sack of Sh!t (LSoS).
It looks as if douche nozzle had his nozzle punched a few times to many.
Didn’t the Dept. of the Army eliminate that stupid beret from being worn with any Army uniform a few years ago?
@19 OIF
Sadly no. It is still worn with the dress uniform by Specialist/E-4 and below and can be worn with with the ACU or in the Class B uniform by all ranks at the Commander’s discretion
@18- I, for one am shocked by the revelation that dipshit was lying about his brother… and if you believe that, I have ocean front property in Arizona for sale cheap
He got called out about lying, and ran. How do we even know if Guillory is his actual name?
Besides, even I know which side is left (service) and right (name) without a guidebook. I can still do it. You get it pounded into you in boot camp.
Pillory this Guillory.
What a jerk.
Must be kendude crotchrot’s O-6 buddy from when they classmates together at the Army War College…
For starters, he’s got the Army and name tapes reversed, which isn’t necessarily decisive. (It happened to me once, shortly after the ACUs were introduced. I kept one of my old BDUs in my closet for months to remind myself which side was which. As a memory device, I decided that the Army was a left-wing organization, and that I was always right. That did the trick.
Good one! I just remembered that you feel for a heartbeat on the left side (and that “a wise man’s heart is at his right hand, but a fool’s is at his left”), so my mnemonic was, “My heart belongs to the Army.”
He forgot the one major rule of thumb in terms of nametape placement…”The U.S. Army is NEVER right!”
THROAT PUNCH dadadadadadadadadadadada THROAT PUNCH dadadadadadadadadadadada!!!!!
This shit makes the baby Jesus cry. Is it wrong that I want to find this assclown and get seriously jiggy on his family jewels… with a garden hoe?
A true gentleman of the backdoor.
Some of these are just too painful to look at. (Sigh)
Wow I bet he saw a lot of combat action wearing that cover indoors
I heard this dude was interviewing at All Points Logistics for the VP slot of Transportation and Acquisition.
one could only imagine that Commander Phil Monkress, the CEO and President, will fast-track him.
If I were the Dishonorable COL W, I would be nervous.
But then again, maybe they are quite the team.
If he’s wearing a uniform with someone else’s name on it, wouldn’t that be ID theft as well as Stolen Valor?
Why didn’t you ID him Captain? (No disrespect, just curious}
Word has it that this man is being promoted within the ranks of All-Points Logistics.