Todays WTF moment from the KSM trial
Today was pretty dry for a LONG time. There was a minor interesting discussion about whether “Terrorism” is a stand alone offense, or part of other offenses. Also some discussion of conspiracy, and a brief foray into constitutional law with respect to the “Appointments Clause.” Unless you are a TSO level dork, you won’t care about any of that.
But flash forward to a few minutes ago when we went down the rabbit hole of IT issues. Apparently the DoD’s IT is brought to us by the geniuses who brought us the Clareece (whatevs) Manning Security Clearance, $4000 toilet seats, and luminescent tape PT belts. And at one point a shit load of Defense emails were sent to the Prosecution and a shit load of prosecution emails went to the defense. So, that’s obviously a problem.
So flash forward as an Army JAG named Major Jason Wright (for the defense) got up to talk about how these problems have really hampered his ability to communicate with co-counsel. (OK, you have me hooked Major, reel me in!) “I’m forced to use 19th century technology to communicate with Mr. Nevin,” referring to a defense attorney from Idaho. (Yes Major! Speak it! Truth to power!)
So, what 19th century technology does he use? Proficiency in morse code? Banging sticks on railroads? Does he ride a string of horses across the country? Smoke signals? Bawdy song and dance routines communicated around the campfire while enjoying legumes that make you flatulent?
“Sometimes I have to download things to my external harddrive, and then go find a coffee shop like Starbucks that has wifi!” ……… um. What?
Holy paleolithic jurisprudential hurdles! It’s downright 19th Century of them! (Gold Standard! Go Williams Jennings Bryant!)
BTW- He was the class ahead of me in law school. If this doesn’t make GMU fall from 42nd in the country to 43rd, nothing will.
UPDATE: I talked to the guy afterward, and he’s super nice. All the media ladies here swoon over him too, because he does have fabulous hair. However, when you say 19th century, I want 19th century. It was like some big tease. But, in case he sees this, I now somewhat feel bad, because he is genuinely a good chap.
Category: Politics
Dude is obviously a bad ass, quick!! someone tell Al Gore the Major really invented internet!! (and might as well Starbucks)
So what kind of super 21st IT technology he wants to use?! I know!! genetically modified snails that have modified engines!! (http://i.imgur.com/1cBwL.gif)
Thanks for the updates TSO
And, what year in the “19th Century” was he born? Old geezer that he is…
If only you hadn’t dropped out to go to Afghanistan you could have been besties
It’s a bluff!
—–
Rankings
39th best law school – The 2012 publication of U.S. News and World Report
21st – Scholarly impact of the faculty based on per capita citations to faculty scholarship
24th best intellectual property law program
33rd – Student quality based on 75th percentile LSAT scores
As always, I enjoy the prosaic and frequently snarky dispatches from the nether regions of the island of Cuba.
But unless the 19th century steam punk revolution had wifi, my guess is that the major has his centuries seriously mixed up.
Perhaps a brief sojourn in the wayback machine will enlighten him. Or not.
TSO did you manage to see Hassan’s face when he said that? did he had the “Ohhhh crap really? did I REALLY get this lawyer?!?!” face? it would have been priceless
Actually that opens up a question, if this guy pretends to be clueless (I mean I don’t think he is stupid at all, he did manage to graduate college and all) can that open the old “Well my defense was terrible I need a new trial for more circus” defense?
Anyone that knows the law? I haven’t stayed in a Holiday Inn in a while so I don’t trust my lawer knowledge 😛
Be careful, banging sticks on railroads might bring in Bigfoot. I’ve really been enjoying your reporting TSO, keep it up!
@TSO.
Try this:
Step back off the line for a minute.
Take a knee. Drink a glass of water with a Motrin.
Breathe.
Conduct SLLS.
Breathe.
Have your 6″. Munch. Munch.
Breathe and digest.
Stand up. (keep low)
Breathe.
Shake it out.
Breathe.
Rejoin Ops.
My man, sounds like you need a break.
Out of respect to the dude’s invocation of the 19th century, I propose the official Clue Bat be changed from titanium with ergonomic grip to traditional wooden with hand-forged iron spike.
Hyperbole much, Major? It looks these sheetheads are getting the defense council they deserve. Judges hate whiners. Juries hate whiners.
Comrades in Arms:
Who, or what, is “KSM”?
I’ve been in the hospital, and I’m still recuperating.
Currently, I’m VERY weak, too weak to even post anything at my own web site, and with barely enough strength to compose and type this comment.
I rarely watch the news, because it ain’t nothing but government propaganda, and therefore, a waste of time.
But, it seems to me that the ONLY people so vociferously agitating for America to become involved in some other country’s war are the talking heads of the television network news media.
The previous responses to this post that I’m reading refer to that Hasan (spelling?) character, but I can’t figure out what “KSM” could be.
The call letters of a local Texas TV station?
That so-called “court martial” wasn’t nothing but a sick joke.
They’ll never execute Hasan, and the victims will never receive their Purple Heart medals, the garrison on duty at Fort Hood on that day will never receive their hostile fire pay, and American soldiers in garrison (or off duty) will continue to walk around unarmed.
If you question the Army officials (as I have – – – repeatedly), you’ll merely be ignored.
Ah, but then, I’m one of those who unapologetically advocates both violent armed revolt against the government, AND organized night riding vigilante justice.
Uh oh!
Who’s that knocking on my door?
Thank you.
John Robert Mallernee
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Gulfport, Mississippi 39507
@11.
I hope you feel better soon, sir.
I enjoy your input.