AF sergeant gets accomplice to stab her to get out of PT test
I saw this yesterday on Facebook but GunzRunner sent us the link from the Air Force Times today to the story of an Air Force Staff Sergeant who enlisted the help of an accomplice to stab her so she wouldn’t have to take her PT test;
Mona told San Diego police Feb. 27 she was grabbing a smoke outside her house before work when she saw someone standing by her car and decided to check it out, according to the charge sheet. “The person pulled my hair, stabbed me in the stomach and ran off,” she reportedly told a detective.
A few days later, on March 6, she offered another account of the stabbing, the charge sheet said. “A man jumped out from the side of the bushes, yanked my hair, pulling my head downward, and shoved what I think was a knife through my side.” She gave a description of the alleged assailant: dark hooded sweater, jeans and dark tennis shoes.
Neither version was true, however.
I guess there could be a market out there for folks to stab Airmen on the day of their PT test.
Following a two-day sentencing hearing, the military judge sentenced Mona to confinement at Vandenberg Air Force Base, Calif., reduction in rank to E-2, forfeiture of $1,805, and an official reprimand.
How much do you not want to run that one-mile course? Of course, it reminded me about the post we wrote nearly four years ago. I wish I could find our posts about the Air Force LTC who was whining about how hard the PT test is for old guys. I think his ex-wife chimed in on that one.
Category: Air Force
Oh Chairforce,
Why do you keep on with your silly shenanigans?
I thought we were supposed to have a higher grade of moran.
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c180/Smmy195/military-sucks.jpg
This is a whole new breed of what Green Thumb calls a turd.
If this idiot would have put a quarter of the effort in the PT test that she did into trying to get out of it, she would had passed.
My cousin and her oldest, a mother-daughter Air Force combo, are shaking their heads in disgust.
How is that not a bad conduct discharge?
That is just ridiculous.
I seem to recall a period of time during my enlistment when a lot of E-7+ decided it was time to retire because of PRTs.
I never really had much trouble with the PRT, but, at that time, I could not understand the point of running a mile and a half when my duty station was 598ft long!
Getting stabbed to get out of it does seem a bit excessive.
Apparently someone from the Army needs to conduct a Professional development class on the subject of gaining profiles the day before the scheduled test….
AYFKM?
@1 Thanks Chip. Just LMAO with coffee through the nose! My wife wants me to do some chores around the house. I am looking for my old M-14 bayonet!
Nutjob.
Straitjacket.
Thorazine.
Some assembly required.
I don’t feel like being at work today…. any of you fine upstanding individuals want to come over with a set of fingernail clippers and “cut me” so I can head to the house and watch Judge Judy?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
😀
A lot of us in the Army refer to the PT test as the easiest day of PT. All you do is 2 minutes of push ups, 2 minutes of sit ups, run 2 miles, and then you are done.
“I’d rather be stabbed in the gut than take that PT test.”
That’s so crazy it just might work…
I’m going to start sending my E-4 mafia around to show them how a profile gets done! Silly Air Farce! Since when is being stabbed better than AF PT?
Oh brother! She said her assailant was wearing a hoodie.
Christ, it’s not like failing one of those is the end of the world or anything. Can’t the air force take PT tests on stationary bikes? Seems like I’d heard that rumor for years. I was a bit surprised when the navy gave me that option once, and it was goddamn awesome.
I’ve never heard of anything like this before, but I suspect that somebody I served with got knocked up entirely to get out of one of those. That’s like a 20+ year solution to a twice a year problem. IMO that’s even worse than getting stabbed. She got kicked out a surprisingly short time later for popping on a drug test. I’m sure that family is doing just great now…
Hey Jonn
I think these are the posts you’re looking for regarding that AF LTC:
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=28100
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=28128
The comments on the first one are still funny as hell.
I’m considering switching to the AF after I finish grad school…I looked at their PT standards and thought ‘Well sh*t. My normal workout is harder than this!’…Add the fact that they actually use my future AOC….Sold. Plus the AF needs a few more Army types in it. It’ll harden em up.
PT or DIE Air Force!!!! 😉
Her plan was flawed – she should have had the assailant chase her for the duration of the 1 mile run.
I love the Air Force. They always flew horribly enough that I never minded jumping out. But when I went to my ex-wife’s graduation at Lackland, watching the little wankers drop like flies during their little graduation, I knew that the heavy lifting was better left to other branches. Not that I didn’t enjoy the paratrooper peen envy that ensues when you stand around their bland garments.
How fat dose one have to be to hate PT that much ?
she couldn’t just got to sick call like everyone else?
@14 Back in the 90’s maybe. But the Air Force did away with the bike test in 2003. About two years ago the Air Force began using the PT test as a major tool in reducing end strength mandates by DOD. LOTS and LOTS of career airmen have been discharged because of the PT program. I’m not crazy. I know the Air Force still lags behind our sister services when it comes to PT standards. But we have come a long way.
“official reprimand”, wow, that’ll teach her! LOL…. 😀
We all remember this Airman who had her husband shoot her to avoid deployment right?
http://houston.cbslocal.com/2012/09/14/police-wife-stages-shooting-to-avoid-deployment/
Richard; #15; yeah that’s him thanks.
OK … so I was interested.
How stupid and ugly must one be to have someone shank you in order to miss a PT test?
Well here you go – here she is: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/alison-mona/40/155/872
I guess that she never met an Army specialist, who could have told her about the trip to the TMC just before the PT test to complain about generic knee and ankle pain. I’d think that that would be a lot easier than getting stabbed.
Wait, she had over 16 minutes to complete a 1.5 mile run and she chose to be stabbed instead?
How come there’s not a psych discharge in this sentencing?
Sandwich artist…
“Sandwich Artist” at Subway, eh? Wonder if she worked at Popovich’s subway in the Phoenix area?
— break —
The kicker is, this is only the second-worst AF avoidance stunt we’ve featured at TAH. IMO, this one was the worst (same incident as you linked to, O-4E):
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=31980
@26–over 16 min? that’s what they get? My 300lb civilian ass could probably still do that. I’d fail the tape fairly soundly, but whatever… Does getting stabbed even keep somebody from getting taped in anyway?
How long will it be before a guy gets a sex change just so that he gets 16 min for the run? That’s a legit thing to do now, right?
She will likely receive a bad conduct discharge after her confinement is over.
Are you kidding me? Why not just go exercise and pass the test? Or get out? I made the decision to retire from the Air Force when the PT test became a challenge after 2 serious car accidents, rather than be a sick bay commando on profile, but did my best up to the very end. What’s the matter with people any more?
I am active duty Marine Corps that ended up in the Air National Guard and I can tell you from first hand experience that the Fitness test is a joke. The hardest part is the “one size fits all” abdominal circumference measurement that fails horribly because it doesn’t account for height or muscle build.
The funniest thing I’ve ever seen: People getting fitness awards for scoring 95+… even though they are excused from all or a portion of the test due to injury. For example, my boss who was on a profile because he was recovering from knee surgery. He was only required to participate in the waist measurement, which he did, and received full credit. His overall score: 100. Sigh.
That is just stupid. Really, really stupid.
From E-5 to E-2 in one fell swoop! That’s a special kind of teh stoopid right there, ya’ll.
NHSparky: I guess the military judge figured if she was going to act like a E2 she might as well be one again . . . .
Just FYI of the “Chair Force” standards..for a male under 30 to max out score.
1.5 miles in under 9:12
32.5 Waist measurement
67 pushups in 1 minute
58 Situps in 1 minute
The minimums
1.5 miles in 13:36
39 inch waist
33 Pushups in 1 minute
42 Situps in 1 minute
For 30-39
Max Points
9:34 1.5 Mile
32.5 Waist
57 Pushups
54 Situps
Minimum
14:00 Run
39 Waist
27 Push ups
39 Situps
Anything below the minimums in any category is an automatic failure.
Do the minimum and you will fail.
@36 Hmmm…Are you sure these aren’t the postal service minimum PT requirements?
…Why is this dumb shiat STILL IN THE AIR FORCE? She has already proven that she cannot be trusted, and if I was her squadron I’d be reviewing every piece of paper she ever signed and every inspection she’s ever performed.
Mike
When I retired in 2012, at 50 years of age and 24 years of heavy duty service, I could still pass the APFT walk (asthma and 2 deteriorated discs prevented running) with 2 minutes to spare. Even old and broken I’d never consider a stabbing. I do applaud the originality though
I’ll take oxymorons for $200 Alex. Air Force and PT test. What are words that are never used in the same sentence?
I’d guess that this fool was already a Jedi Mistress at ghosting ie, this degree of sloth doesn’t just happen, you gotta really work for it …
A Big Chicken Dinner is the MINIMUM she deserves.
I was still scoring a young man’s 1st class pft when I retired in 2000.
Oh dear gods, I have my last PT test in the Army in two months… Now I see what my buddy was talking about with his PT in the AirForce. He told me he only really works out about a month before their test. And not all that hard. I see why now.