Beloved character guilty of Stolen Valor
I saw this last week and I thought it was pretty clever of someone at Foodbeast who uncovered this egregious example of Stolen Valor;
The Wall Street Journal has dug deeper;
Cap’n Crunch took to Twitter to defend his honor.
“All hearsay and misunderstandings!,” @realcapncrunch wrote.”I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew – which makes an official Cap’n in any book!”
And:
“Of course I’m a Cap’n!” he wrote to anguished supporters searching for answers. “It’s the Crunch – not the clothes – that make a man. #PaidMyDues”
But his protests failed to tamp down the sense of betrayal and anger.
The controversy deepened on Wednesday when the Pentagon said it had no record of a Cap’n Crunch ever serving in the U.S. Navy.“We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records – and we checked,” said Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon. “We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer – and that’s a serious offense.”
I think he qualifies for a prosecution under the new Stolen Valor Act since he obviously profited from his ass-hattery.
Category: Phony soldiers
One more ! For 100 on this string … What have we done here?
@99
KFC Colonel ?@kfc_colonel 1h
Folks we’ve got a situation. Please go show our friend @RealCapnCrunch some love. We honorary title folk have to stick together!
Retweeted by Cap’n Crunch
See, it was just an honorary title. Just like all the posers say when caught! >:)
@75 – you know how they separate the men from the boys in the Navy? With a crowbar!
@101 My blog-fu is bad, so I can’t tell you which thread it was, but it got TAH blocked for a week as Pr0n where I work. I think it had something to do with one of our posers.
And NEVER ask Jonn for girl eye-candy.
@102- Ha! Honorary title, my ass! He’s next on the list! @”COL” Sanders: This is for introducing wraps, you rat bastard! You couldve gotten away with it if you’d stuck to chicken, but noooooo. You had to get greedy. It’s always getting greedy that pinches em.
Actually, Colonel Sanders was a Kentucky Colonel, which is an honorary title bestowed on an individual by the state of Kentucky. In fact, Colonel Sanders was a sixth-grade dropout, a farmhand, an army mule-tender, a locomotive fireman, a railroad worker, an aspiring lawyer, an insurance salesman, a ferryboat entrepreneur, a tire salesman, an amateur obstetrician, an (unsuccessful) political candidate, a gas station operator, a motel operator and finally, a restaurateur.
In 1935, Governor Ruby Laffoon made him a Kentucky Colonel in 1935 in recognition of his contributions to the state’s cuisine.
Do not mock the Colonel. Who else is fixin’ Sunday dinner seven days a week?
I think the Windows 8.0 Kernel forged its DD214–it clearly says in the documentation that Windows 8.0 is a MAJOR release, and that’s only an O-4…
And while I’m at it, I’m pretty sure Commodore 64 and Commodore Amiga are major league posers. Neither of ’em served a day in the Navy, they’re AIR FARCE POGUES!
@ 98 – Beer goes much better with soft chocolate chip cookies, brownies, pie, etc.
And it just soaks right through cereal. I’m not that fast in the morning.
Eggs,BE CAREFUL of what you say about BEER, IT’S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE!!!
Eggs, BE CAREFUL of what you say about BEER, IT’S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE!!
Ex-PH2-Nebraska has the honorary title of “Admiral” in the Nebraska Navy-promote the Cap’n!
Fun fact-the first KFC was in Utah. I have always thought that a more accurate name would be “Fried Utah Chicken, Kentucky Style”. Of course that is a long name, so they’d probably need to use some sort of acronym.
Eggs, try to be careful of what you say about BEER, IT’S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE!!
I shall vouch for the good Captain Crunch’s excellent conduct as a merchant vessel operator and entruepenuer engaged in the free enterprise system. HEY! Don’t tell the Coasties though! Those puddle pitrates will scuttle the Captains ship and keep its cargo of crunchy chunks of chow for themselves.
“Seal the singer kind of looks like a seal (seam mammal variety) wtf did heidi Klum see in him?”
During an awards show she was on stage bragging about her ex-hubbys ahh….*manhood* (indication there of by hands apart) and pretty much had the audience rolling in their seats with laughter.
Money was the other driving factor (isn’t it usually) but, she is rumored to have been caught diddling one of Seal’s bodyguards. Anywho, if any single guys are looking, there’s a semi-hawt looking six foot tall, rich blonde model thats out there roaming the free range now.
I too will step forward to offer my sworn testify as to the good honor and character of Captain Crunch, merchant vessel operator and capitalist whose beliefs are rooted deeply in the free enterprise system.
BUT! Don’t tell them puddle pirates over at the USCG about this one or they’ll cruise out on their lil rubber duckie boats, scuttle his ship, throw him in chains and secure his cargo of good old fashioned crunchy goodness and keep it all for themselves. K?
Stupid %^&**(^$$@#%^^*(&( Adobe Flash Player, it looked like my post didn’t make it, and I ended up looking stupid!
@95
GI Joe is worse!
How DARE you impugn the honor of G.I. Joe? G.I. Joe is not only a Real American Hero, but was captured by a militant group while serving in Iraq in 2005.
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/iraq_group_claims_us_soldier_hostage/
And hey, if he wants to put on red tights and a helmet during his off-duty hours and parade around as “Bulletman”, well, that’s his prerogative.
I just read that Cpt Crunch and Tony the Tiger were killed last night.
wait for it…
they say it was a cereal killer.
@118 – LMAO!
Come to think of it, has anyone done a FOIA on “Captain” Morgan?
http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=-foKpOChD5UdaM&tbnid=loRzA94Q5zjdrM:&ved=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.npr.org%2Fblogs%2Fhealth%2F2011%2F08%2F12%2F139573713%2Fcaptain-morgan-the-rum-pirate-lends-a-knee-to-hip-dislocation&ei=sMbDUZi3J8XUiwKtw4HQAQ&psig=AFQjCNEPxU1hFV2D5OK-akfqiOHVdEaerw&ust=1371871280695232
Don’t get me wrong, Sport.