Sub commander fakes death to match his fake spec ops pick up line
Sporkmaster sends this link to the story of a married submarine commander, Navy Cmdr. Michael Ward II, who met a chick on line, immediately told her he was a special operator (because no one would believe a submarine commander would be on line picking up chicks half his age?) which came in handy when he suddenly decided that he wasn’t engaging in rational behavior, I suppose, and faked his death;
When Ward, who had only been named commander of the USS Pittsburgh a week earlier, realized he was in too deep, he allegedly contacted the woman by email purportedly from a co-worker named Bob. The email read:
“I am extremely sorry to tell you that he is gone. We tried everything we could to save him. I cannot say more. I am sorry it has to be this way.”
“He loved you very much,” ‘Bob’ continued. He goes on to say that Ward wanted her to have something.
Yeah, so the chickie went to his funeral, I guess it was classified, too, because there was no funeral, so she tells Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo at NCIS and turns over copies of the emails – and all of that results in Ward losing his command.
After learning that Ward was still alive, the woman said she was hospitalized and discovered she was pregnant by Ward before losing the baby.
Yep, because only sane women are picking up and boinking strange men on the internet. The internet told me so.
Category: Navy
Holy shit! So much fuckuppery in one story!
I heard about this guy getting shitcanned and wondered why.
Guess we know. Man, that crew is probably breathing a REAL heavy sigh of relief. They dodged a huge bullet there.
As if being the commander of one of the most state-of-the-art boats in the U.S. Navy wasn’t enough? How the hell did this douche-weasel get past the mental evals?
Wow, how did this guy get a boat? Mind boggling…
Submarine officers certainly seem to be stand up guys…not.
Two words: Sub Mariner! This would never happen on a Surface Ship!
@1 Agreed, I am reading the link at Fox and just sitting here mouth agape, wondering WTF was this knuckle head thinking?
Cheating on the spouse, without a condom, lying about the nature of your service, faking your own death…
I did enjoy reading the part where Captain Parks mentioned reviewing the charges with the Commander, “He understood the Navy’s high standards for command leadership and he failed to uphold them”
No sh1t Sherlock….this idiot failed the standard of being a decent husband and father never mind a Sub Commander….if you can’t be honest to the person you claimed you loved when you promised to honor her above all others, the odds you will be honest to anyone else are quite a bit smaller.
Epic fail. Not quite as good as the paratrooper, but almost. Ditto what Sparky said, the only winner in this one is the crew.
One “aw shit” wipes out a whole lot of “atta boys”.
Obviously this sub officer was cruising “under the sonar.”
Is this guy going for the #1 seed for the next stolen valor tourny?
MCPO NYC USN (Ret): Not sure I quite buy that. As I recall, CAPT Honors wasn’t a submariner.
Granted, this dipstick’s asshattery far exceeds that of Honors. But I don’t think such idiocy is completely unknown among any military specialty or branch of service (with Chaplains being possibly the sole exception – and as I recall we’ve even had some chaplains end up on this site as “guest of honor”).
@ ALL: I was tounge and cheeking it of course.
He deserves a crack at next competition. Hell … sacrifices family, SPEC OPS, submarine skipper, fakes own death, and all for his country … yes … he derserves recognition.
Hell, yes, put him in the next stolen valor tournament. What sucks is that, between now and then, a whole bunch of other douche rockets are going to do plenty of crappy things that make this guy look downright normal.
MCPO NYC USN (Ret): Sorry about that. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when comments are tongue-in-cheek.
And I agree, he definitely deserves a place in next year’s tourney – if for no other reason than originality.
Another example of a career limiting move. Which begs the question, would you rather have this guy or the guy who hit the oil tanker as the captain of your ship?
I’m trying to understand why he felt like sub commander wasn’t enough to pick up some strange on the internet. my background is army so maybe I think that sounds cooler than it is… But sub commander? I encountered a lot more special operators than sub commanders .
So I just reread the comments above and realized I could have said : “ditto” @3.
And just last I asked here if there would be any candidates for next year’s tournament give the exposure of SV here and on other sites. I think we have 2 in the barrel already? I forget who the other one is.
@16 This guy because he was relieved BEFORE being able to screw the crew on the sub…
@SGTKane, rather have the tanker skipper. Why? Because I’m a former bubblehead with faith in boatdrivers to get rid of those that don’t meet the measure. If allegations are true, this guy is a scumbag that shouldn’t own a row boat let alone have a family! Semper Procinctum.
Wow. what a Doo Che
Cdr Ward went full retard
You should never go full retard
I agree with Sparky, if I was on that crew I’d be on my knees thanking God this schmuck got canned.
Problem is, Michael, there’s a few folks over at Joel Kennedy’s blog (The Stupid Shall Be Punished) who claim personal dealings with CDR Ward who pretty much say he’s ALWAYS been a douche and a yes-man.
Bottom line, if the system were REALLY working, they would have caught this tool before he screened for DH or XO, let alone CO.
Joel is right–the stupid SHALL be punished.
Robin Williams said it best, “God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Holy Shit! What a choad. Overlooking the fact that he’s married with kids, he didn’t think being in charge of a multi-billion dollar engine of destruction was enough to get a 20 something girl to get nekkid for him. Pitiful.
Not to begin to explain this level of asshattery, but…
If he tells her he is SF, then (1) she thinks he is a stud, and (2) he can go with the “classified, national security” meme as an excuse for a whole host of behaviour. Further, telling her is the commander of a sub, while impressive, makes him infinately easier to find when things go sideways, which they always do.
Just a few thoughts.
For the people wondering why being a sub commander wasn’t ‘cool’ or ‘sexy’ enough, when was the last time a sub commander was the ‘hero’ of a movie? Maybe back in the mid 90’s with “Crimson Tide” or a little further back with “Hunt for Red October?”
Let’s face it, in the wars on terror, it’s the ground combat guys that have been getting all the attention and adulation from the media and public, the SEALs, Delta Force, Special Forces, etc. That is why like seemingly over 99% of poseurs the past years have all faked being from those unit.
Like I always say, the day a poseur claims to have been a mess specialist cranking out 1000 meals for dinner as bullets flew all around him, is the day I buy everyone here a round of beers.
Saw this on another site:
“Flunking an ORSE, bumping into shoals, bumping into other ships, lying to 23yo trim; yeah verily many and wondrous are the ways to get your command yanked in today’s Navy …”
(c8
@16
I’d have to go with “no”.
@25
Isn’t there a new TV show starting soon, “Last Resort” or something, about a sub that refuses to nuke Pakistan or something like that? If it makes it a full season, sub commanders can say that it was loosely based on their lives in order to pick up girls on teh internetz.
@25
Don’t forget the very underrated flick “Down Periscope”.
@24 – I’m not buying off on using the “I’m a SEAL. It’s classified. I could tell you but but then I’d have to kill you.” reasoning. His position as a ship commander would allow him to say the same thing. My dad was on boomers his entire career, there’s stuff he still won’t talk about and he’s been retired for 20 plus years.
Just found this blog, and as a former Army now Air Force puke, I have to say, I love the sense of humor you guys have on here! (Dads former Navy, so now I’m starting to understand the lingo he used to use)
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this guy’s conduct all day now, and all I can figure is that he’s been full-retard for some time now.
This guy seems to be one of those “it’s all about me all the time” sorts, because if he gave so much as a rat’s patoot about his family, he wouldn’t have done this sort of crap.
I’ll lay you odds that the Goat Locker has a full dossier on him from all his previous commands too, and it probably all reads the same way “Always be on your guard and clear your baffles when in any proximity to this officer.
Like the 173’rds skipper, this guy isn’t trustworthy and he’s likely to have cost his family his retirement pension as well.
Man should’ve been disappeared off the bridge while standing some oh-dark thirty watch.
@27 and 28, still not good enough compared to Delta Force with SF/Ranger tab, CIB, multiple tours in Afghanistan/Iraq.
Sorry to offend any operators on here, but coming from a regular infantryman, I still think being a sub commander is pretty bad ass. I showed my ID down in Norfolk one weekend and a very bored Lieutenant gave me a tour of an attack sub. It was impressive. Like you’ve all said though, unless your SF/SEAL/MARSPEC OPs, etc, its not worth bragging about anymore. There ranks must be in the thousands if all the idiots are to be believed.
I had to check the link and double check on google to make sure this wasn’t a Duffel Blog story. Holy crap!
Brings new meaning to the term “Trim Party”. 🙂
Trim, drain, shaft, main. A whole new meaning now.
I guess there are still some people who believe the old trick of lining up to blow the DCA…
I concur with ArmyJ, I think being a commander of a sub, or a captain of a ship such as an aircraft carrier, is pretty bad ass. It is a position of great responsibility and power, something that usually attracts women.
But as others mention, it is simply not ‘sexy’ and ‘good’ enough in society today to be considered among the most elite of military and public adulation. No disrespect, but no poseur these days wants to be a commander of a sub, or a mess specialist, or radar operator, and so on.
Judging by all the posers Group must have the largest M-TOE in the Army.
I’m with you guys, I always thought you had to be pretty high speed to get a command on a sub…
With all due respect to current and former “Honorable” officers, ARE THEY GIVING OFFICERS AT OCS LOBOTOMIES NOW??? I couldn’t imagine any of my former officers pulling this crap. May e it’s rose colored glasses but I’ll be happy in my fantasy.
* Maybe it’s rose…
The wife just told me that this story has just made Fox News. Fox left out the fact that he posed as a Navy SEAL.
The CO of a ship or a submarine is the ultimate in terms of responsibility. CO’s at sea are charged with making their own decisions, never having to get permission (for most issues). Unlike other military CO’s, the command of a US Naval ship is the ultimate command. Command at sea trumps all others!
[…] probably remember when we wrote about Navy Cmdr. Michael Ward II, who fell in extramarital love on line, pretended to be a SEAL with his new girlfriend, got a […]