TSO bringing sexy back, Civil War style
Day 2: Civil War General
(Image deleted, Bernath keeps stealing my pictures.)
Look favored by: Incompetent Union Generals who singlehandedly lost the battles of Fredericksburg and The Crater; Theodore Evelyn Mosby when trying to win the breakup with Canadian Heartthrob Robin Sparkles Scherbatsky. (Two beavers on your cheeks are better than one.)
Strengths: A man sporting this look absolutely has nothing to lose. It only retains roughly half the food of the previous look, and allows the fist hidden under my third chin to have a virtually unimpeded path to hippies faces.
Weakness: are legion. Where to start. For one thing, you literally can not blend in with any group. Not businessmen, not Starbucks employees, not even Steam Punk conventions. I still have to eat a donut with a unhealthy quantity of hair, which rips out of my face and forces me to cry like an IVAW member when he watches the annual unicorn slaughter Michael Yon when he finds out his he/she is an actual she. Still cannot quickly or without collateral damage engage in Irish Car Bomb chugging contests.
Overall: I give this a 2/10 only because I am a softy. I literally can’t imagine anyone going with this look on purpose. If I was still wearing a helmet, it might be better, but in the absence of that eventuality, this look is just not good.
PS, if you don’t get the shirt, read it fast. That was a gift from Blackfive’s Uber Pig, and one of my favorite shirts.
Category: Politics
I think it looks cool!
Nothing says retro-chic like the Ambrose Burnside look!
Looks like he could play for the Red Sox.
JP76er- maybe for the 1910 team
Next suggestion–get rid of the sideburns and go for the mid-70’s style “pornstache” look.
TSO: well, so much for finding out if you look good with a ‘stache and goatee.
I’ll spare you my opinion of how it looks. You wouldn’t like it.
TSO: I think it looks good on you. However, how does your SWMBO feel about it?
JP76er: Great comment; though, maybe more likely an 1880’s team…
Nice.
I think the reason that Mrs. TSO likes it is because it is one step closer to clean cut TSO…
For some reason I was thinking he should have prostitutes following him… Maybe some mostache wax would go well. You are treading very close to hipster irony, unless you are doing it to be ironic, shit I am jealous I cannot grow something so damned majestic!
I love the UMASS Debate!
Change the hat and you’re a German Kaiser…..
Love that look and if the kilt were visible…on another crazy note…think school spirit…Go…go U…Go UMass, goUMAss!! Gooo!!
mwhahahahah….
I’ll take “What Happens When You Blow A Wookie After Eating A Dozen Krispy Kremes” for $1000, Alex.
Almost got me with that one, Claymore. But luckily I wasn’t drinking anything when I read it. (smile)
With that look you could hang around with bikers.
Immediately thought Scottish. McTavish or some such shit. Actually think Claymore and that look is totally rad.
I think I saw that photo on the bulletin board at the post orifice.
I’ll venture to say there may be a very good purpose to the cut. Just sayin’… Mrs. TSO may be onto something, LOL
TSO:
My fiance says he really likes your McClellan beard. I’m hoping it’s just because he’s a beardo himself, and not because I need to have a talk with you.
Also, I can’t believe you’d make fun of that. I tried to stay stoic, but have you seen the sad eyes of those unicorn mothers?
Uuhhh???
Marine, I think that pic is on the board at the local Wal-Mart, along with the other missing kids.
This may be the best thread ever!!!! You know this crap is going all over our offices….
I’ll take “What Happens When You Blow A Wookie After Eating A Dozen Krispy Kremes” for $1000, Alex….this wins!!!!!!
TSO is participating in the “Support our troops-skin graph program”.
After a freak masturbation mishap while using 110v equipment in a 220v outlet, PFC Weckler received his new pubic hair graph from TSO’s chin. Thanks for the support TSO.
From the IG
You are the very model of a modern Major General…
I like it, but my day-job is as a historian who specializes in the late 19th century, so I may be a tad biased.
Yat Yas 1833: I think Army Sergeant was referring to TSO’s struck-through comments in the article with her “sad eyes” comment.