Iran threatens us with female ninjas
Old Trooper sends a link to a story that, unsurprisingly, doesn’t have me shaking in my boots about Iran training 3500 female ninjas to protect Iran from the western crusaders;
But as Israel steps up pressure on Iran, over fears the country is building nuclear weapons, these lethal ninjas could be called upon to represent their country if relations descend into military conflict.
Iran has a mandatory Army conscription for men aged 18, but it is limited to 18 months service, so these kunoichi could prove very useful.
Yeah, it could prove useful if the West doesn’t show up in tanks or aircraft or with rifles, grenades and machine guns. Jumping over a sword might not be that useful if that happens. Now if Iran can convince Israel to invade with unarmed men, they might have an edge. Well, as long as the Israelis don’t show up with some Spartans or something.
I guess the Iranians haven’t been watching the news for the last two or three hundred years and noticed that most of the wars are fought with some sort of technology these days.
That said, some of those Iranian women are kinda good looking, though. But, then I have a thing for little brown women, if you hadn’t heard.
UPDATE by Sporkmaster: What a possible outcome might be or the best way to summarize this entire post.
Category: Terror War
You know, all of that swirling around of swords reminds me of my favorite scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, the one where Indy pulls the Single Action Army, and shoots the guy dead… Also, those are about the MANLIEST looking Persian women I ever did see….
PULL-LEEZE!!!! The Ninja thing is SOOOOOOOOOO 1983!!!!
No kinda pretty to it, Jonn. I’ve seen MANY absolutely stunning Persian women. There’s a boatload in the Ukraine, too.
As far as these Ninjitsu girls, be a real waste of wife material to see ’em turned into dog meat by a mini gun or whatever.
It would be one thing if those fights weren’t 100% choreographed. No, wait, it still wouldn’t. Unfortunately, #1 beat me to the punch.
You know I heard that the Indiana Jones scene wasn’t supposed to go like that. Instead, Indy was supposed to fight that guy for a few minutes, but Harrison Ford was feeling crappy that day, and as a joke he pulled out the gun and the guy went with it. I guess since it was good comedic relief they kept it in.
It’s funny. Ninjutsu literally is the “art of stealth”. What is sold today as ninjutsu is not ninjutsu. It’s basically karate wearing a black monkey suit and throwing smoke bombs. The shinibi no mono (proper name, “ninja” is the sinified reading of the same letters, at one point someone just figured that “shinobi no mono” is a mouthful and started using “ninja”) were never “commandos”. They were infiltrators, sagoteurs and spies. Assassination was never their #1 task. Every N known in history was also a samurai. The mythical ninja village where peasants learned warfare is a modern invention and there’s no actual evidence for those ever existing (of course not, peasants had other problems, the only class in feudal Japan with the time to practice warfare were the samurai.) Some, like Hattori Hanzo and Yagyuu Juubei, were even hatamoto to the most powerful man in feudal Japan. The black suit originates from the stages of kabuki and bunraku in the Edo period. Even today stage workers in Japan, even in modern productions, wear all black. The Japanese audience knows these guys are invisible. At one point in the Edo period some author added a ninja to his stageplay. He was stuck with the problem: how to make him invisible? And then he had the idea: dress him black. When Europe and America came to Japan, they saw the mythical ninja on a stage dressed in black and concluded ninja wear black, which, in reality, they didn’t. Black doesn’t work well at night, the sky’s not black, it’s dark blue, and for infiltration, espionage and sabotage missions such a suit was a dead giveaway anyway. Same as the straight “ninjato”. That weapon never existed either. It’s a modern invention. As for the girls… Please. I see no ninjutsu, I see no “art of stealth”, I only see karate in black monkey suits and waving around weapons which none of them has mastered. Against a modern army they are totally useless. A sentry with an assault rifle will make short work of them. Which brings me to another classic myth… Despite all… Read more »
Addendum: the most realistic portrayal of N in a movie can be found in Kurosawa Akira’s “Kagemusha”.
If they’re training their kunoichi to fight with offensive weapons, they’ve missed the point.
Historically, the favorite weapon of the kunoichi was poison.
Jonn, thanks for the added Raiders clip, made my night!!!
Pardon me, thanks Spork!!!!!!!!
I guess the “Make Em Laugh” backflip makes Donald O’Conner a true Ninja. Most of these girls will end up asking GIs “You got girlfriend Teheran?”
I guess if they can convince women that doing this is somehow relevant they don’t have to worry about them actually wanting to take an active part in society?
What I want to know is why most of them ninja chicks have the Vulcan/Romulan eyebrow thing cookin?
Hmmm…ninjitsu? Aren’t most Israelis pretty damn well versed in Krav Maga? You know, the self defense technique where you either kill or maim your opponent as quickly as possible? I’m juuuuuuuuust sayin’.
I kinda want to take that training course.
I first saw that movie in the base theater in Baumholder, FRG. That very scene is the reason why I exited the theater when the movie ended, bought another ticket, and went in to see it again.
I loved that scene; pissed me off that it was originally planned as a big fight between Jones and the swordsman. I mean, come ON, he’s in a hurry and he’s going to lose time and maybe body parts playing games? Damn.
They’d be awfully dangerous at a ballet class or in a halftime show…
Pure propaganda bullshit. I wonder how they’d use em if the manure hits the fan and they might have to actually go fight? Not too bad a lookin…they must have shaved before they made the video.