Meet Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn, the youngest Marine SGM

| May 19, 2013

Bumped back up to the top because Mailahn wants us to take it down. He threatened us with a law suit until I sent him our attorney’s email address and now he just wants me to be cool (You used to be cool). Just some background; he’s ALLEGEDLY behind on child support, he ALLEGEDLY stole $12k from his daughter’s Little League Association. He ALLEGEDLY got fired for making $800 worth of phone calls from the fire station where he worked for phone sex – but I’m the reason he can’t find a job.

Lately, every time I try to be a nice guy, I get it stuck right in my ass, so those days have passed and Mailman is a fixture here. I think he started in again because the Stolen Valor Tournament is gearing up this week and he’s shooting for another one seed. But he even failed at winning the tourney last year.

Yeah, that’s Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn who claims to be the youngest sergeant major in the Marine Corps. He’d have to be with only nine years in the Corps, according to his hash marks on the sleeve. The good folks at POW Network decided that he needed broader exposure so they sent him to us.

They tell us he’s a 43-year-old car salesman who lives in his mother’s basement. He was a fireman until he ran up the firehouse phonebill with more than $800 in telephone calls to phone sex numbers and they fired his horny ass. According to his own profiles, he graduated from high school when he was 20 years old – a real over-achiever.

Did I mention that he was arrested for embezzling over $12,000 from the Barrington New Jersey girls little league association? Well, he did – that over-achiever thing working for him again. his defense in that case? He’s a Marine and he’d never violate his code of ethics and do something like that.

Well except that the NPRC has no record of him ever serving. Ever.

He has a philosophy that the more websites that he posts this information, the more credibility he has. So here’s his information posted on yet another website. let’s see how that philosophy works for him.

Oh, by the way, he just sent the good folks at POW Network an email threatening to…guess what…sue if they don’t remove the information from their website that he himself posted on the internet;

U have my info on your site I want it removed asap I gave no permission to have any of my info pix or anything on your site I would also like to have the name of whoever put my name on there I have the collingswood police dept looking into to who put it up there but I want it removed forthwith

I’m sure that “forthwith” had Chuck and Mary shaking in their shoes. I know it gave me a feeling.

I will keep sending u my request till u do oh and I contacted my lawer if its not down with in 2s hrs I will sue u

If I ever start typing like a twelve-year-old girl, I’d hope that one of you fine people would put me out of my misery.

So, now his “info pix” are posted on yet another website…I wonder what his “lawer” will advise. I’d better call my “lawer” and tell him that there will be one more in the “I’m here to sue TAH” line at the Mineral County Courthouse next Tuesday.

Category: Phony soldiers

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It’s Sgt Maj in the Marine Corps boss


Also the hash mark is one for every 4 years, so he would be “in” over 12, but less than 16.


A red t-shirt underneath chucks?? Haze yourself!


Even with the legion of poseurs that have come before and serve as role models for what not to do….they just get stupider and stoopider….


sergeant-first-class-major in the army here. i work in echo force. it’s 1 step above delta




Has his Good Conduct Medal senior to CAR, NAM, and Air Medal.

I’m sure he’s legit.


Forthwith? Maybe someone has watched a little too much “Monty Python and The Holy Grail”. Next thing you know he’ll be claiming he’s part of the Knights who say Ni.


What the bleeding, flying fuck is THAT?????


That is a serious boatload of hammered dog fuck right there.

C’mon, you hardass Marine you, come here and tells us all how you’re gonna sue us for libelslander.

Anyone who looked like you on the boat usually ended up as a tape ball inside the first ten minutes.

AW1 Tim

You know, since he’s gone and provided his actual address, maybe someone ought to go ahead and forward it along with some pics to the local Marine recruiting office. I’m sure they could get a detail together and go have a word or two with this gentleman poseur. Set him straight, and all that.

Michael Z. Williamson

I was chief master colonel.


Nice FB profile–what kind of dipshit would post a picture of a kid holding a beer?


#13 At least we know where his problems started…

more super heroes

The regulation hair cut and authentic red shirt under that disastrous looking khaki top demonstrate his authenticity. Is he, in his youth, seeking a congressional appointment as SGM of the Troops in MacBeth’s Fusiliers or just an entrance in the next Full on Retard Tournament?

Old Trooper

@12: I was only a lowly corporal captain (h/t MASH).

more super heroes

Even better…back that shit up….a real Marine SGM would always pose in his Blues while missing buttons on his coat (at least one missing)…I take back my last post…this one is definitely a genuine no fooling turd-burgler in chief!




A product of NJ toxic waste dumps, or simply brain dead?


Hate to sound like a broken record, but once again, there will simply be no shortage of nominees for macbeth awards.

Hell at this rate there will be too much.

NR Pax

Old Trooper: I was one of five Petty Warrant Officers in the Corps. Pulled straight out of Boot Camp too!

I really wish we could set up a dunking booth with alligators for these people.


Master General First Class here.

There are a bunch of 12-yr old girls with more sense than this clown, Jonn! And better spelin skilz.

Looks like he had to take the pic of himself! Pitiful.


Unfuckingbelievable. *sound of gagging*

If stupidity were a virus, he’d be terminally infected.

Semper Fi

paul mitchell

You are really missing the fun if you do not check out his Twitter and Yfrog accounts. Enjoy.!/eagles34

Charlie Six

@ 7, exactly. What Sgt Maj can’t get his ribbon rack in order? And no Sea Service Ribbon after 20 years in the Corps?


I wrote him a scathing email. Will be interesting to see if I get a response.

I’d guess that from the quality of his writing, he probably got his his high school diploma out of a Crackerjack box.


And you didn’t need no straw for your Grape Nehi, I bet!

Personally, I never made it above Spec-12 in the Army.


Is this guy related to Snake Eyes maybe? Or maybe there really is something in the water in NJ…..

CI Roller Dude

Well, normally I say it’s not nice to pick on retards….but if they falsly wear a uniform, screw them. This guy does remind me of the CA Army National Guard SGM we deployed with…the little POS said his goal had been to be the youngest SGM in the Army. I suggested later that he should have set some other goals because he to was a retard.


WOOOHOOO!!!! I got a quick reply from the scumbag.

“I will not say sorry I did nothing wrong ask my x brother in law who sent u this stuff he got kicked out of the army then his mom and dad were left homeless I served in the army then transfered to the Marines so go talk to that loser frank ferris who hides behind the computer won’t face me cause he knows if I see him I will kick his fucken ass”

I sent him an appropriate reply. Time for some popcorn.


I’d say stick him in a room for some wall to wall counseling with a true CSM but seeing as how he’s into BDSM and sites like, he’d probably be cumming in his pants rather than pissing them.


This gets better and better. He asked me if I would leave him alone if he sent me a copy of his DD-214. I told him sure, send it and I’ll be happy to pass it along to the FBI, they’ll take a great deal of interest in it also….and to send it to Chuck and Mary at pownetwork.

This is like shooting fish in a barrel. He is forgetting a cardinal rule…when trying to escape out of a hole, you must first stop DIGGING.


I honestly do not understand how these people screw up the order of awards. There are websites that can build racks for you, in the appropriate order, with the appropriate accoutrements for the relevant branch of service.

These people are astoundingly stupid. Like put-your-pistol-on-the-counter-to-start-counting-money-during-a-robbery-only-to-be-shot-with-your-own-weapon stupid.


I was going to say the same thing, CRaissi, but it seems the same underlying theme always shows up in cases like these; foaming at the mouth over their new found “fame” overrides any shred of real common sense.

@ Marine_7002: That’s glorious. I’d be interested to see just what kind of 214 he comes up with.


Nah, Marines aren’t dumb–just the wannabes.


Now he says,

“Yes john u are right I did kicked out of the fd when I was a teenager I did take 9000 and I’m paying for that mistake. But all the info u saw was sent in by my x brother in law who has nothing better to do then post shit about me”

Oh, and he says he has a friend who is an FBI agent. Who, Efram Zimbalist? (yeah, I’m carbon-dating myself).


It’s just keeps raining stupid and this boy’s just a big puddle of retarded


@34 I told him, “I and the other folks at Thisainthell eagerly await your DD-214. Will be interesting to see if you have the balls to really falsify one.”

I’ll file it in the “fiction” directory on my hard drive.


@Marine_7002, you should have asked him if up there with his connections at the FBI, he has some with Obama’s birth certificate handlers to help him with that 214? 😉


@39 Good point, Jane. He sure as hell could use the help. But I don’t think he’s gonna listen to me any more…I think I hurt his feelings. He wrote,

“Leave me alone and nobody reads that your so called website it that other one now I will respond to anymore emails they will just get deleted”

A very literate and well-reasoned answer is probably hidden somewhere in that drivel. I’ll scratch my head about that as I hit the rack. Must be some kind of code or hidden meaning to it.


@37 Stacy0311: he ain’t even smart enough to open the umbrella to keep that rain off him.


Shouldn’t someone of his “rank” have a bigger … Um… Rack?

Yat Yas 1833

Ya know, any poser really ticks me off but one claiming be a Marine REALLY pisses me off. I’m an honorably discharged trac rat, a lowly 1833 but I actually served! That this sumbich can’t even get his “rack” right Ia even worse. As a SgtMaj why doesn’t he have a pistol badge?

Chuck W

Being former Navy and Army, I wonder if Marines wear name tags on their khakis?


Only on B Billets like recruiting and drill instructor; neither of which is he.


I fart in his general direction.


Man, this guy needs to step up his game. I don’t know if pics, incoherent emails, and defrauding a girl’s little league are going to get it done this year. He’s got some damn stiff competition for the big dance. A fake 214 would give him a coast to the divisonal semis, though, so if you’re reading this, double master super sergeant: fake up a DD-214 pronto, and get it to us here at TAH or the good folks at POWnet. We’ll make sure it’s properly laughed at in time for the J MacB’s.

Old Trooper

I wonder if anyone from the Marine Corps League is watching this thread and can contact their chapter out in his area of NJ? The reason I ask is because of a couple of pics at POWNet has him wearing a Marine Corps League windbreaker. I count as friends several members of the Leathernecks MC; maybe I could show them this thread and watch them have some fun with this turd? We would need a really big bucket of popcorn for that, because some of those guys have a really nasty streak in them, if they want to show it.

Bubblehead Ray

From the halls around my Mother’s house
To the shores of New Jersey
I will proudly shout my fakery
For all the world to see

First in line at Army Navy stores
To support my Facebook claim

I will throw my hat into this year’s race
For the sick, lazy, and lame

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