BEST OWS story so far
You need to read this story from Wirecutter at “Knuckledragging My Life Away“. There’s a language warning involved in clicking over, but it’s at TAH, so that almost goes without saying, but I said it anyway. I won’t ruin the moment with commentary or cut and paste work. Just go.
Category: Bloggers, I hate hippies
That was some awesome and hilarious stuff. Wish someone had filmed it.
They actually make this thing called ‘liquid ass,’ perfect for situations like these.
Hah! Pepper spray huh? That’s actually a very good idea. Got so used to having a gun close that I haven’t replaced mine.
Apparently pepper spray is frowned upon in some jurisdictions, I don’t know for sure but that’s what I heard. Wasp Spray is recommended for those locale’s … and it sprays further than pepper spray. No matter though, the above usage was freaking hilarious!!!
TD #3: Interesting. I was thinking about WD-40.
LMAO at the comment: SYmpathy for hippies:
it’s someehre in the dictionary between ‘shit’and ‘syphilis’
Yeah that shit pretty much doesn’t fly in the San Joaquin Valley. Everyones already pissed at the envirofucks with the water cut off to the Westside because of a 2 inch minnow and farms and ranches drying up and groves being torn out. Let alone a near 40% unemployment rate for farmworkers. Personally I think they ought to turn the Hmongs loose in the Delta and net all those minnows.
Zero #4 – After reading your post I snoped the use of wasp spray. I couldn’t find anything re: WD40 but its something to think about but range is better with the spray.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/waspspray.asp
Some interesting points on both sides of the idea. But when things happen and a heartbeat counts, any advantage is a plus.
TD #6: Either would be effective, I think. And either would be street legal anywhere, except for the potential issue of assault.
Thanks for the link. Truth is… if any OWS types show up in my patch of WV I will likely have a stroke from laughing too hard. I deal with black bear, coyotes, and semi feral dogs who pack up and kill sheep, etc. That’s why I’m out of pepper spray.
@4- I might like a hippie if it smelled like WD instead of patchouli and armpits.
Hopefully he posts my comment soon enough. Anywhere besides Commiefornia and that hippie gained about 185 grains of P+ going about 1100 fps.
teddy…make sure you light the WD-40 as you spray it. That shit makes an AWESOME flamethrower.
teddy996 #8: I do believe you are on to something? Think of something that both burns the eyes AND improves the environment?
Liquid soap comes to mind, but we’ll need something in an aerosol can, I think?
Thank goodness. A manly and funny story. The tutus were getting rather numerous around here.
Such a heartwarming story just in time for the holidays. I look forward to the sequels.
Too bad no one had a video cam. That would have been comedy gold, and viral on Youtube, until the hippies pulled it. And, wasp spray does work wonders, on hippies and roaming dogs.
@11- I think that WD40 fits the bill perfectly. To illustrate my point, a little of the ‘ol Johhny Cochraine “Chewbacca defense” logic- Hippies smell, and love to cry about things. WD40 smells amazing and displaces the tears from their eyes at the same time. If there’s no tears, then there’s no crying. And we know that if a hippie isn’t crying about chemicals being sprayed, then Gaia approves of their use. So, as you see, it is not only authorized, but an approved method by nature itself to alleviate hippie tears.
@14. Maybe he’d be willing to do a re-enactment video. I wonder what happened to stretch. Did the other hippies leave him in the street? Bellow about driver brutality? Did he crawl to the curb screaming or just lie there in a fetal position, waiting for a Goodyear to leave an impression?
I like the ‘waiting for a Goodyear to leave an impression’ option
Maybe he shoulda stopped got out some simple green and steel wool and cleaned the mother fucker up. I hear Soap is like Kryptoninte to Hippies.
I love Missouri’s castle law, hand on truck right to defend myself. Then chink chink bang bang…
Hey, thanks for all the kind comments, both here and over at my place. Gotta love those spur of the moment acts, huh?
Oh, one thing about wasp spray: That stuff will blow back on you. The pepper spray (bought on a whim) has a thicker consistency, or so they claim. I didn’t hang out at the scene long enough to check it out.
If we’re going to go all Gaia Seal of Approval and deal some serious pain … jalapeño juice in a spray bottle set on jet.
#20
Ya done good, brother. Chalk one up for the good guys!
@20: I laughed for about 10 minutes straight and my wife was wondering what was so funny. I let her read it and she was laughing harder than I was. Great site you have there. I put it in my bookmarks so you now have another regular reader.
As for wasp spray; is that stuff toxic? You can get the foaming type that still shoots a healthy distance but won’t blow back on you (I use it around the yard quite a bit).