Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fecal Four of the Jesse MacBeth Stolen Valor Tournament
Soup Sandwich:
Col Bill Hillar/Liam Neeson:
Ballduster:
Matthis:
Category: Politics
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Let’s get ready to rummmmmmmmmmble!
Nearly all of the original nominees graduated from either Bozo College or Evil Clown University. It’s fitting, therefore, that the Final Four perfectly represents those grads and schools. Bozo College alumni Ballduster and Soup Sandwich are a hilarious duo. Both majored in costuming and were graduated at the top of their respective classes. You look at them and you just start laughing. But how about Hillar and Chiroux? When you see them, laughing is the last thing you want to do. That’s because they are sinister clowns. Hillar literally made a living stealing valor; Chiroux, when he was not torching the Stars and Stripes, concocted stories to impugn our troops, dishonoring them with outlandish tales of pure wickedness. Funny Clowns vs. Evil Clowns. Bozo College vs. Evil Clown University. It’s a damn good Final Four.
This is one for the ages.
Each are in their own way worthy.
Matthis’ pure sliminess, Soup’s audaciousness.
But I still have to go with my original fave Ballduster.
Just the whole ‘ambiance’ and overall comic factor involved. The name alone, a TAH original, makes him a winner.
Lets do it…..
hmmm…Still pulling for the real Liam Neeson.
We’re talking about a guy that went so far as to claim that a good movie was made about his life…than NEVER HAPPENED.
This guy must have incredible charm to pull the wool over the eyes of so many…gullible…stupid…well, crap..ok…only retards bought his BS…but you get my drift.
Go Hillar.
Did TAH contract out the photoshop duty to John Kerwin Williams? Beautiful work, guys.
So, TSO, when does the balloting commence? Surely you’ll want to start before the BCS poll comes out…
The House of Chance (Vegas) just published the opening odds. Here you go:
Ballduster McSoulpatch…4-5
Soup Sandwich…8-5
Matthis Chiroux…2-1
Hillar…7-2
Bravo! Bravo!
This truly will be a contest for the ages.
Soupy as Maximus-“Brothers, what we do in life… echoes in eternity.”
The Real as Napolean-“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.”
Ballduster as Stalin-“The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.”
Matthis as Valeria-“All the gods, they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you were still fighting for life, I’d come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side.”
My money is on Ballduster
In that picture, Matthis looks a lot like John Kerry.
I guess the only difference is that John Kerry actually went to the war he protested, albeit briefly.
Crap! I missed the vote … oh well.
I’m calling it for Sammich for the reasons so eloquently delineated by Lobo and teddy in the other post. I mean, come on:
This guy dressed as he did because in Soup’s mind Leonidas of Sparta was his apprentice, his most promising pupil. He took Masada singlehandedly, the X Legion’s assault was only a feinting maneuver. The walls of Jericho fell because he was there and had a bad case of gas. The very stone the walls rested upon shattering from his god-like, nuclear detonation shock wave flatulence. And he does this at Benning!!??
Where Ranger School, Airborne School and Infantry School reside!!!!???? The place must be SWIMMING in testosterone and eau-de-stracness.
Supernova may be too tame an adjective, but I can think of nothing better.
Soup Sammich by a light-year.
I am SOOOOO disappointed. Chippy McSeal lost. He came here and made an asshat of himself to win, but no, that wasn’t enough. 🙁
Wait you guys are telling me those photos where shopped? You gotta be kidding me?
I’m thinking its going to be Matthis vs Soupy.
Um now that we’re down to the losingest 4 I have to ask what does the “prize” winner get? Aside from a swift kick in the nuts?
@13. No, Jason, only one or two were. The rest are actual action photos. Really.
I think the prize should be they get to be locked in the Thunderdome with only wiffle ball bats and ping pong paddles. Two losers enter one loser leaves…
In my warped book -Evil beats out dumbass.
I still like Ballduster, specially since he had the stones to wear an SAS badge along with his “I be a General” outfit.
As much as Ballduster had the gutt’s to wear that bling, he did infront of civilians that do not know what a simple pimple is. I still vote for Soup since he had the balls to try this on a base/post infront of Instruction Staff. Go soup!!!!
Don’t forget Matthis who has done more to hurt Veterans in recent years than even that Hag Medea from Code Pink
The eventual winner? Not to name names, but, “On my command, unleash hell.”
Oh come on sparky, anyone who can bed a barbarian must be awesome.
Are you entertained!!!!!!
Fuck it. YAY beer!
I say Soup Sammich takes it by miles. The rah tard shows up to the Home of the Infantry, lit up like a Christmas Tree, so much so the MP s just HAD to take pictures, has six different jump qualifications, 5 Purple Hearts, Four MUCs, 3 Bronze Stars, 2 CIB Stars, and a Silver Star in a Dress Blue Uniform. (Hope your catching the tune here, tis the Season).
Chiroux just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and the scumbag will be jumped at some point.
Havent been here long enough to remember Hillar/Ballduster, but I still Soupy takes all this year.
I am SOOO glad that I didn’t have anything liquid in my cup or mouth when I came to the picture of Mathis – as a woman. TOO, TOO funny. One for the ages. SPEW ALERT par excellence.