Eric Graham – Phony Air Force PJ

| July 9, 2021

The folks at Military Phony send us their work on Eric Lee Graham.  Graham’s Facebook page claims that he lives in Saint Martin, but he aslo shows comes a Wilmington, Delaware address.  He is originally from Michigan.  His middle name is “Lee” but it is also listed as “Lamont.”  Graham is 47 years old at the time of this writing – July 2021.

Graham does seminars and classes in persuasion.

Graham claims that while he was in the U.S. Air Force he served in Special Warfare as a Pararescueman, or a “PJ” as they are often called.  He claims this in the video below, which is a compilation of different videos.

.

People were suspicious of the claims and he was reported.  The Pararescue (PJ) Foundation was contacted and after providing them with his name and other identifying information the organization confirmed he was not on their master list of PJs.

. . . . .

FOIA RESULTS

NATIONAL PERSONNEL RECORDS CENTER (NPRC)

NPRC FOIA Results – Eric L. Graham – Summary Sheet

. . . . .

DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE MANPOWER DATA CENTER (SCRA)

The DoD Manpower Data Center / SCRA database was searched with the following results.

DoD Manpower Data Center / SCRA Results – Eric Graham

 

DoD Manpower Data Center / SCRA Results – Eric Graham

. . . . .

DISCUSSION and SUMMARY

According to his official military records, there is no evidence that Eric L. Graham had the military training to become a U.S. Air Force Pararescueman (“PJ”) nor were there awards or duty stations that would support such a claim.

From the videos, I can see where people might get the idea that this guy was some kind of Special Forces hero.  There are some serious badass types in the Air Force, but little Eric here does not seem to have any of that kind of training in his records.   There are some links online to what the very select few in the Air Force go through to be in their Special Forces.   Here is a link:

Air Force Special Forces Pipeline of training.

I have served with and still have regular contact with some members of the Air Force that do some seriously badass work.  Their EOD units are second to none.   It’s a shame clowns like this Graham fellow can not be proud of their actual service.   Mr. Graham should be aware of how small the Air Force PJ community is,  claiming to be one of them is just stewpit.

It seems little Erics skills of persuasion need a bit more work… I am unimpressed.   But then again,  I do not have a Titanium Mastermind… I am but a humble Jarhead.  SFMF

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Category: Air Force Poser, Valor Vultures

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  1. Eric L. Graham – US Air Force Pararescueman (PJ), Blog of Shame | | July 9, 2021
  1. E4 Mafia '83-'87 says:

    The fact the organizations like Guardians of the Green Beret and Pararescueman Foundation exist is to PROTECT the good the name of the elite warrior types from phony POS’s. You notice there are no Cook, Transport, SNIPE, ect. type groups out there to stop all the fakes from sullying their good name, right. It’s because the non-“Cool guy” rates/MOS’s are guilty of the posing and fakery. It’s just more shame heaped upon the REMF Brotherhood by this douche. However, we will persevere and move on.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Have WE EVER seen a bogus Mechanic, Cook, Supply or AG Clerk?

      • 11B-Mailclerk says:

        People who have seen me type have questioned my claim of duty as a mailclerk. Lol.

      • skate says:

        my pet theory is the vaaaast majority of fraud at the VA are people getting disability but from non-existent injuries during their otherwise “boring” time in the service, or getting benefits after completely making up their service but, again, in a “boring” job.

        some “no shit, there i was” rootin tootin snoopin n poopin secret squirrel with a fruit salad that’ll make Del Monte blush brings TONS of attention, but some nobody shmuck getting disability for a non-existent back injury during a non-existent rollover crash suffered during a field problem? (bonus points if it actually happened but they weren’t involved). some clerk with a lifelong “limp” they claim is a result of some dipshit accidentally knocking a filing cabinet over and they’re on permanent VA disability? some guy at a parade getting a buncha free shit just making up 3yrs stateside service in the motor pool? seriously, unless theyre running their suck or bringing a lot of attention, who’s gonna dig into that?

        heard a story secondhand about an auditor for the VA. they caught a former supply guy getting bogus disability after taking a tumble off the o-course during PT not long before he was gonna ETS. claimed he had permanent loss of motion, nerve damage, sleep problems, the whole nine. only got caught after he slipped at a check up and was able to move around a little too well and when pressed contradicted a basic part of his story. decades of disability for what was just a rolled ankle. another guy claimed burns suffered from a malfunction while working in the mess, turns out he carelessly roasted himself while working on his motorcycle AFTER he left the service, but was still able to weasel his way into the system!

        it’s funny- i know ONE real deal shooter (pre-GWOT), career spec-ops, 3-letter adjacent, you know the type. if it ever comes up that he’s retired military (almost never-he only answers in the affirmative if asked) he always just says he spent his career sitting around fixing radios. knows enough about commo to bluff his way into having the most boring story at the bar!

        • rgr769 says:

          My wife watched a Fox news story about a widow complaining that she has been waiting years for disability benefits from late husband. I explained that I doubted she is legitimately entitled to surviving spouse benefits, since my mother was promptly granted the widow’s benefits from my WWII father’s VA disability benefits. All the VA required was proof of his death and that my mother was still married to him. So, when Fox reports there are 500,000 widows trying to get these benefits, I am suspicious. I wonder how many of our deceased phonies’ widows are claiming VA benefits to which they are not entitled.

      • Dustoff says:

        Still waiting for a phony “wire dog” (allegedly) from commo.

    • thebesig says:

      I fixed one of his flyers:

    • thebesig says:

      Here is something that could be posted to social media sites that Eric Graham, phony Air Force Pararescueman (PJ), also posts on:

  2. Tallywhagger says:

    Lamont “you big dummy” may have been overexposed in Portland. Something happens to people when they go there.

  3. MarineDad61 says:

    Good news, early on.
    (Due to yesterday’s MP story)

    Update….
    The other guy in the video above
    has been up all night, dealing with this.
    He has commented on the MP FaceBook page,
    and posted a public statement on his own page.

    [Mark Joyner –
    “Stolen valor” is a very serious matter.
    It goes without saying I will have no further relationship (business or otherwise) with this man.
    I’m still reeling from this so I’ll keep this brief.
    I really don’t know what to say.
    I’m embarrassed I was Theranos’d by him.
    And I apologize to anyone who did business with him because of our, now former, association.
    People are now coming to me with stories about other things he’s done, so it looks like this is just a small part of it.
    Contact my company’s help desk at xxxxxx @ xxx.xxx
    or send me a PM if you were burned by him.]

    Bonus – Eric Graham has been commenting, too…. and now mentions “USAF nuclear weapons program.”
    And more…

    Kudos to Mark Joyner,
    for reacting quickly,
    and taking decisive action against
    Phony ParaRescue Eric Graham.
    https://www.facebook.com/markjoynerpersonal/posts/10159618911702359

    • MarineDad61 says:

      More….
      Eric Graham has already resorted to deleting comments (with MP link) and
      blocking commenters on his Book of the Fake.
      There were comments with links from 3 others before I got to see it (yesterday).
      After my comments, POOF (for me).

      There may be more by now,
      but Eric Graham is putting his quarters in the whack-a-mole machine.
      Have a look….
      https://www.facebook.com/the.ericgraham

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Here’s one from hi on Farcebook:
        Eric Graham Mark is 100% right about this and I take full responsibility for my mistakes and actions here.
        I’m not going to make any excuses, because as a veteran what I said and did was inexcusable.
        While there are several factual errors in the page he linked to, the base claim is accurate.
        I’m still not sure WHY I said it to him, but when we first met at an event we spoke at in Thailand, we really hit it off and wound up talking for nearly 16 hours.
        Durning that time we swapped “military stories”, and for whatever reason, being a bit “star struck” and wanting to impress him, even though I’m proud of my military service, rather than telling him about my honorable service in the USAF nuclear weapons program…. I told him I had trained as a PJ.
        That was not true. And I should have admitted that to him later when we formed a partnership.
        I never intended that claim to “go public”…
        However, later when he brought it up during one of our live coaching calls, I just “went with it” and didn’t set the record straight again.
        I’m ashamed and embarrassed by my actions, and Mark has every right to be upset.
        Working with him, and building and serving the tribe we created together was one of the greatest honors of my life.
        And I’ll cherish the memories and impact we were able to make for those we served for the rest of my life.
        I’m deeply sorry to Mark, our team and the members of our tribe for my failure of integrity here.
        And while I fully understand, and agree with Mark’s decision to end our partnership and unfortunately friendship as well over this…
        Just know that I fully believe in and support him and know that he will continue to guide those in the Solomon’s Ark tribe with the same brilliance and integrity he has always shown.
        The example he set has made me a better and stronger man in every way, and I’ll forever be grateful for him and what he taught me

        Sounds like SPIN to me!

        • Hatchet says:

          ‘Titanium mind’? TWAT WITH TEETH is more like it. Smarmy lying little git

          • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

            “I never intended that claim to “go public”…”

            Then WHY the mudda-fuck did Eric Graham claim so in that damned video? The monkey snot-headed shit stain!

            • A Terminal Lance Coolie says:

              As usual with these dipshits, he’s not embarrassed because he made a mistake. He’s embarrassed he got caught.

        • Hack Stone says:

          If Hack Stone had 16 hours to kill in Thailand, he would not be trading war stories with a fellow veteran. He could probably find some entertainment to distract him in one of the local drinking establishments. If Hack has the wherewithal, he will dig up a sketch that a young enterprising female made for him while in Pattaya. Suitable for framing, it should be worth big bucks some day.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Here’s another from Eric Graham on Farcebook:

        “Mark Joyner While I never made the claim outside of a handful of coaching calls in our private group, again. You are 100% correct. I should have never made it in the first place. It was absolutely wrong. It put you in a terrible position. And the reputation damage should be fully on my shoulders, where it belongs. There is no excuse. You showed me nothing but trust, respect and friendship and I betrayed all of that. And you’ll never know how sorry I am for letting it go as far as I allowed it. Shouldn’t have said it in the first place. Should have come clean when we partnered. And should have put and end to it when it came up on the first time during the group call. By that point I was so far “invested” into the lie, I was too chicken-shit to man up and do the right thing.”

        That unwashed sphincter is spinning like the turbine blades in a Fighter Jet Engine!

        • Hatchet says:

          And in spite of ALL of his evasive and entirely transparent LYING – at the end of the day he’s still just another POS…

          FUCK YOU Eric Graham

    • CWORet says:

      Had to do a quick Google-fu on what Theranos’d meant. Holy multi-billion-dollar scam batman. (Interesting note that was kind of shocking, James Mattis was once on the board of directors for Theranos). But yea, good on the dude for quickly and publicly severing ties. And looks like Eric has a lot of extra baggage he’s carrying around.

  4. MarineDad61 says:

    Wow.
    MP/VG has really uncovered a huge lingering turd with Eric Graham.
    Others (on Mark Joyner’s FaceBook page) are now
    airing out old problems with Eric Graham,
    with internet links,
    like this 1, on the WayBack Machine.
    It also shows, that Eric Graham has been moving around a bit.
    This 2012 story has him living in Gallatin, Missouri.
    Ugh.

    [Sep 7, 2012, 13:48 PM
    Jefferson City, Mo. – Attorney General Chris Koster announced today that The Conversion Doctor and its owner, Eric Graham, will pay $37,829 to settle allegations that it sold business improvement products to consumers but failed to provide the products.
    Graham, of Gallatin, Missouri, will pay more than $34,000 as part of a settlement involving his business, The Conversion Doctor.]
    http://web.archive.org/web/20161230123327/https://ago.mo.gov/home/news-archives/2012-news-archives/ag-koster-reaches-37-000-settlement-with-business-obtains-restitution-for-consumers

  5. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
    Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
    Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
    Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
    Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
    Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
    Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
    If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
    I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
    Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
    Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
    Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself.
    Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      P.S., Commo Check, how copy, read back,

      ((((OVER))))

      • SFC D says:

        D’s Cantina copies:

        Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
        Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
        Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
        Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
        Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
        Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
        Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
        Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
        Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
        Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
        Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
        Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
        Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
        If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
        I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
        Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
        Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
        Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself.
        Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!

    • Forest Bondurant says:

      He lives in Saint Martin (presumably the island?)

      (They speak English, French, Spanish and Dutch there, so here’s a response in Dutch)

      Eric L. Graham diende in de US Air Force Air National Guard.
      Eric L. Graham WAS NOOIT een US AF Pararescueman of “PJ”, volgens gevonden gegevens.
      Eric L. Graham heeft geprofiteerd van zijn VALSE CLAIMS om een ​​USAF PJ te zijn.
      Eric L. Graham ziet er ook uit als een andere afgewezen Apprentice-handdoek Fluffer bij Brucie’s Bath-huis (ingang aan de achterkant).
      Eric L. Graham heeft voor zichzelf een reeks “Skid marks” op de onderbroeken van de Society gemaakt door te liegen over zijn militaire dienst.
      Eric L. Graham ontving de Air Force Achievement Medal volgens gevonden gegevens.
      Eric L. Graham is de menselijke belichaming van een kapsel van $ 1,50 in de moderne tijd.
      Eric L. Graham werd onderscheiden met het US Air Force-trainingslint.
      Eric L. Graham ruikt alsof hij van achteren naar voren veegt.
      Eric L. Graham ontving de US Air Force Good Conduct Medal volgens gevonden gegevens.
      Eric L. Graham lijkt op het type dat alleen rondrijdt met een masker op.
      Eric L. Graham neukt zichzelf met zijn valse beweringen dat hij een PJ is.
      Eric L. Graham is nog een reden waarom de genenpool een badmeester nodig heeft.
      Als Eric L. Graham een ​​levenloos object was, dan is hij een Participatietrofee.
      Ik zou zeggen dat Eric L. Graham zo dom is als een steen, maar een steen kan tenminste een deur openhouden.
      Eric L. Graham moet voor zoveel mogelijk planten zorgen om de zuurstof die hij heeft verspild te compenseren.
      Eric L. Graham is minder nuttig dan een hordeur op een onderzeeër.
      Eric L. Graham probeert duidelijk de schade te beperken wat hij zichzelf heeft aangedaan.
      Eric L. Graham wentelt zich nu in de Google®™-faam die hij over zichzelf heeft gebracht, aangezien Eric L. Graham er nu achter zal komen dat HET INTERNET VOOR ALTIJD IS!

    • xyzzy says:

      I copy:

      Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
      Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
      Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
      Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
      Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
      Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
      Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
      If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
      I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
      Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
      Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
      Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself.
      Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!

  6. Forest Bondurant says:

    He instructs an “Advanced Persuasion Master Class” but can’t convince the USAF PJ community he’s not one of them.

    Weak sauce.

    NEXT!

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      He has announced his next set of seminars:

      * Ultimate Persuasion: How to Convince People you are Something You Are Not

      * Self-Identification: How to Successfully Switch Genders and Pump New Life into your Business

      * Relocation: Pack a Bug-Out Bag, Take Only What you Need, and Get Out of Town

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Now YOU listen to ME, DC!!!! If I want to pretend that I’m a Space Fleet Doorgunner, I can say that if I WANT TO!!!!

        And if you try to stop me, I will start a hysterical crying fit right on the floor in front of you!!!

  7. STSC(SW/SS) says:

    Before the advent of social media and online investigations a person with a felony could change their identity and start a new life. Some asshole could also claim to be a war vet with chestful of medals and no one would be the wiser.

    Not today. All it takes is a web search and game over for all these phony assholes. Reap what you sow bitch.

  8. MI Ranger says:

    So what exactly is a Ground Radio Communications Journeyman? Does the Air Force have a lot of people running around with radios who aren’t talking to planes (like a Tactical Controller)? I played with the PJs and TacPs while I was a youngin’. They were the cream of the crop as far as Air Force types that speak Army!

    Had a few PJs in my Ranger School class too! Interesting to note, they go to Airborne school first, than to Ranger School, and finish with Halo and Scuba (in Army Additional Skill Identifiers that would be a W9er) before they even start all their medical and MOS qualifying schools. I wonder how many folks in the tried and made through all the Army schools just to fail at actual PJ school? They would have a bunch of badges and now actual certs…though Mr. Graham seems to have not even passed Army Airborne school!

    • SFC D says:

      I’m guessing it’s roughly equivalent to the army’s old 31C, 31M, 31D, 31R MOS’s or the more current 25C and 25Q. I had 30 days of TRC-170 training at Kessler AFB, lived in the same dorm as some combat controller trainees. Could that have been the source of his delusional career?

      • MarineDad61 says:

        SFC D,
        Actually closer to the 80s/90s MOS 25E/35E.
        Lucky me, that was my new MOS in the National Guard,
        after being an Air Force crypto maintenance tech,
        who worked from the same buildings and units
        as the “Ground Radio” guys.

    • MarineDad61 says:

      MI Ranger,
      Ground Radio Comm is an AFSC(MOS)(now 2E1X3).
      Journeyman is 5 level (2E153)

      My experience is old (1980s), and the AFSCs have changed,
      both in job types and numerics (I was 30650 Crypto Maint.),
      but every Communications/Information Systems Group/Squadron
      had sections for each electronics specialty, such as Crypto (me),
      and then Teletype, Ground Radio, and other sections down the halls.

      It’s all here. In great detail,
      in the 2E1X3 career field education and training plan.
      https://www.careeronestop.org/competencymodel/modelfiles/ground%20radio%20comm.pdf

    • MarineDad61 says:

      I must add,
      that as a 1980s 30650 Crypto Maintenance Tech,
      with classified training, equipment hardware, keying material,
      and customer equipment locations,
      this did NOT lend itself to crypto types turning themselves into Rambo, Secret Squirrel,
      or even branching it into “USAF nuclear weapons program” claims.
      Yes, I worked 1 year on the same base as GLCMs.
      That doesn’t make me Rambo, Duke Nukem, or Maxwell Smart.

      Eric Graham worked on the same base as Minutemen.
      Not (often) in the holes.
      Not at the button.
      Mostly in an air conditioned workcenter with benches and test equipment.
      Mostly taking care of various “ground radio”
      at the above ground units and agencies on base.

      What a MF weasel.

    • USAFRetired says:

      I believe that is the old Dirt Radio AFSC. They maintained the Base radios or in his case the radios on Malmstrom associated with the Missile Field and later the radios associated with a Air National Guard Air Control squadron (ground based radar unit)

      • MarineDad61 says:

        USAFRetired,
        Yes, IMHO a career field worthy of praise, even self praise,
        without the need to embellish, lie,
        or go full Waldo with special ops fantasy.

    • Mason says:

      In answer to your first question, USAF is just like the other branches. Everybody has a radio.

      In answer to your second question, we had a guy at my tech school (AIT) who had been in the pipeline for one of the battlefield careers (CCT if I remember right) and blew out his ACL in the tech school. He’d been through jump school and all that, but was still considered a first-term airman tech school student so didn’t wear the badges.

      • MI Ranger says:

        Mason,
        So USAF won’t let them wear the badges until they get an MOS huh! Do any of them reclass to a different MOS or do they simply wash out of the USAF. I have never seen a “Zoomy” with an Army qual badge that wasn’t a member of SOF.

        I currently hang out here at an Air Force base in SC.

        • ChipNASA says:

          “Do any of them reclass to a different MOS or do they simply wash out of the USAF. ”

          The simple answer is “Yes”.
          You can washout of your Tech School and it’s possible to have the opportunity to be assigned to another AFSC but a couple of notes…
          1. Medical injury – whatever ails you better not be so significant as to not allow you to do jobs (Security or Cargo, like me or Maintenance) unless they’re going to stick you in Finance or Personnel, BUT, that being said, you’d better be able to heal enough to pass the PT test and be annually (not ANALY, but I digress) deployable

          2. If you’re just too stoopid or not fit enough or mentally weak, you can go to an easier career field, but again, based on the needs of the AF and the availability.
          If it’s a draw down or things are full, of course, there’s the door.
          (My educated interpretation)

        • Mason says:

          The guy I knew was reclassed. I think most of them are retained unless their injury is career-ending.

          In the Reserves and Guard, seeing other branch qual badges is common. USAF is the only branch that lets you wear anything previously earned. One of the officers I worked with was very proud of his enlisted submarine badge he got from a summer cruise while in NROTC.

          Most impressive was a quiet unassuming fella. Retiring as an E-6. I was in Civil Engineering so we pretty much never wore blues. He gets up in front of the squadron in his to get his retirement award and he’s sporting a CIB, Vietnam service medals, and a Silver Star.

          • ChipNASA says:

            I had a short pudgy guy in my squadron in 1988 when I went to the Reserves after active. He was my first roomie on a Reserve Weekend at Dover. We got to be good friends.
            First Christmas, we had to wear blues. Motherfucker had like 6 rows or something but what stood out were the Vietnam Service Medal & the RVN Campaign Medal with 1960 Device, OK, I recognized them, but then I saw two blue striped ribbons and had to ask and clarify, “Ray, are those Korea ribbons”, and not 30 or 60 days on the Peninsula ribbons but 1950-1954 Korea War and UN Medal Ribbons. What the Actual FUCK?!?! He also had at the very least a bronze star.

            Ray enlisted in the Marines during Korea, served and got out. Went Marine Reserve. OK, Went Army. Got Out. Went Air Force and finally, went Air Force Reserve. Again, W.T.F. Dude.

            He told me the best story about how officers in Korea had to dig foxholes just like the dog faces BUT they had to have the BAH deduction taken out of they pay, (or something like that), for foxholes.

            He was a good dude and co-worker.

            • Mason says:

              That’s pretty cool. One of the O’s in my shop (a Lt Col) had been in since Vietnam. Was an Army draftee, sent to the jungle. He got out, got his engineering degree, commissioned into the Army Guard, moved to the Air Guard, then to the Air Reserves. I think he was nearing 40 years TIS when he retired.

              I remember one story he told of Vietnam. The Army in its infinite wisdom decided to move the rifles from the barracks to the armory. First time an attack comes in, there’s a rush on the armory. The service window at the armory swung outward. The crush of people prevented them from getting their weapons out.

              He told this story after we were hearing about how the deployed in Iraq at the time (late ’03-04) were moving individual weapons to the armory.

  9. Claw says:

    For those keeping track, it took the Air Force 282 days to finally get a tick mark on the FY21 Valor Vultures Tote Board.

    Oh, Well, such is expected from a branch whose Chief of Staff doesn’t even have an Air Medal./smile

  10. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Okay, now let’s try the *NEW AND IMPROVED* version:

    Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
    Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
    Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
    Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
    Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
    Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
    Eric L. Graham has multiple people alleging that he has conned them for multiple thousands of dollars each.
    Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
    Eric L. Graham never attended the US Army Airborne School, something required to become a USAF PJ.
    If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
    Eric L. Graham has multiple business complaints against him.
    I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
    Eric L. Graham was ordered to reimburse past clients in the State of Missouri.
    Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
    Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
    Eric L. Graham is less trustworthy than a horde of Used Car Salesmen.
    Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself.
    Eric L. Graham is more full of shit than the Chicago, Oklahoma City, Kansas City and Dallas Stockyards all put together.
    Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!

    • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

      If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, Eric L. Graham would walk through it on his ass.

  11. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Eric Lee Graham has dorked the STOLEN VALOR SQUEAKHOLE! COCKSUCKER!

  12. Eggs says:

    “Mr. Graham should be aware of how small the Air Force PJ community is” – Especially in Portland, OR, Home of the 304th Rescue Squadron.

    https://www.920rqw.afrc.af.mil/Units/943rd-Rescue-Group/304th-Rescue-Squadron/

  13. AW1 Rod says:

    What a sack of shit. I didn’t think anyone could surpass the degree of assholiness exhibited by His Immenseness, Charles Henry Dawes, but this fuckstain has truly raised the bar.

  14. MarineDad61 says:

    Well deserved KUDOS
    to whoever reported Eric Graham to MP,
    the staff at MP for deciding to fetch Graham’s FOIA military records,
    the staffs at both MP and VG for running the expose’ articles,
    and also to Eric Graham’s (now former) business associate Mark Joyner,
    seen in the video,
    who took quick action, and carried the ball to his own fans and friends
    with a condemning post about Eric Graham on his own FaceBook page.

    This snowball (of shit) is bigger than anyone knew,
    dating back to at least 2010,
    from Missouri, to Alaska, then Florida, and now Delaware.
    It’s 90F summer, and the snowball is rolling.

  15. Martinjmpr says:

    He sold “business improvement products?”

    Reminds me of an old Onion article:

    “I Provide Office Solutions,’ Says Pitiful Little Man”

    https://www.theonion.com/i-provide-office-solutions-says-pitiful-little-man-1819564867

  16. ChipNASA says:

    OK, OK!! Guys calm down, I have an answer for you.
    the Nuke shit he’s claiming is entirely possible that he was certified to work with nukes. I mean be around people who *ACKSHULLY* performed the work, like, he fixed their radios. He probably was certified as a shreadout of his AFSC to be in contact with areas or people who were nuke qualified.
    Those of us in the Transportation careerfields (Surface/Air cargo and Vehicle Slops) could get nuke certified insofar as driving a vehicle pulling a trailer with nukes on it or being able to be in a Facility or Aircraft with nukes. Not that we “Handled” then as it were. I wasn’t qualified so I’m a little talking out of my ass here but I was exposed it as part of the career fields and folks that were, I was at Peterson AFB and some areas there and somehow associated with Cheyenne Mountain Complex had some kind of nuke “stamp” on their records and shit. You get what I’m saying.

    Oh and as a comparison of my regular job, I had a PRP cert for the Space Shuttle, meaning Personnel Reliability Program, for being around areas where the Shuttle was (for physical access), wholly unrelated to my Space Shuttle Door Gunner Training and Certification,
    ( https://imgur.com/33ZTjdj )

    ANYWAY, the other point is that yes, I’m legit standing up for this dude being a PJ.
    He absolutely is a fully qualified (as he’s admitted to, apparently) PJ…..
    Prodigious Jerkoff

    • MarineDad61 says:

      ChipNASA,
      Good point about PRP.
      A DUI or a wife slapping would get someone removed from PRP,
      which would get a crypto type removed from the workplace (and job sites).
      But I stand by the remainder,
      even going in the hole twice a month to retrieve a broken radio,
      or deliver a replacement, does not a Nuke Rambo make.

      • ChipNASA says:

        Egg-Zachary.
        And for some reason, I forget because more of your handle than your general posts, I have a tendency to forget you’re Chairforce like me.
        *fistbump*, AND if I’m not wrong, similar time and places and such. Weren’t you Maintenance?

        • MarineDad61 says:

          ChipNASA,
          Yes.
          USAF 83-87. Crypto Maint.
          Army National Guard (PT) 89-04. FM Radio Maint / Inspector.
          Toss in an activation for DS/DS in 90-91.

          Not ChairForce here.
          3+ years overseas, COT Germany / Sicily,
          I have both long & short AF overseas tour ribbons.

          Had I reenlisted in the Air Force,
          what with my NATO TS/SCI+ (nuclear) clearances,
          my next stop was Eric Graham Ville.

          2 children enlisted in the Marines.
          1 is now a Captain. And a pilot.
          Hence the handle, which could be MarineDad61x2.

    • RGR 4-78 says:

      Marconi Mechanic.

  17. Anonymous says:

    D-bag.

  18. MarineDad61 says:

    Eric Graham has a 2nd page on the Book of Fake.
    A public page, a FAN page, for Liking, not friending.
    Open for comments, but a friend is telling me this page was already found by others, comments were left, and those new comments and some recent posts all went POOF.
    https://www.facebook.com/EricGrahamFans/

    • MarineDad61 says:

      Someone just hit 4 posts on this Eric Graham Fans page
      with MP link comments, only 20 minutes ago.
      Let’s see how long those stay up.

      • Reddawg318 says:

        Yeppers, I got the message that I can no longer post comments. This may have been caused by posting a link to this article on a lot of his posts on his listed page.

        Phakheem!!

  19. Green Thumb says:

    I wonder if he teaches his courses at All-Points Logistics in Merritt Island, FL?

    I bet he does.

    • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

      I betcha he doesn’t have a disposable flunkie to harass those who have exposed his fakery!

  20. GDContractor says:

    Dickweeds and miscreants: It’s right there in the first 20 seconds of the video. Multiple references to “Air Force Special Forces”. Someone had to pull a FOIA on this hero?
    LEGIT!

  21. Dave Hardin says:

    Yawn, its been weeks since somebody called me an asshole and said I was wrong.

    Starting to think the world has gone soft… even the Valor Vultures.

    So many phonies…. So few lawn darts these days.

    • ChipNASA says:

      You’re an asshole and you’re wrong.
      See, you’re an asshole and you’re wrong. It’s been seconds, minutes maybe hours, since someone said you’re an asshole and you’re wrong.
      Feel better?
      Happy Friday, you pink robe, nuts dangling in the wind, sumbitch!!
      (Shhhhhhh…. good to see you posting, way too infrequent IMHO)

  22. Mustang Major says:

    I am spending time on Saint Martin in a few months. I will have to look the clown up. Might find him working in a marina sucking out holding tanks.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Will he even be able to get hired as a Dishwasher in a truck stop after this?

      • MarineDad61 says:

        A Proud Infidel@,
        There’s a Dino Mart in Elko, Nevada.
        He can acquaint himself with a bunch of black leather vests.
        And whores.

  23. Roh-Dog says:

    This clown is a piece of work. Outside of the sad-sacks that’d pay for this course ,is anyone impressed about ‘I werz a speccil Orps giy”? Most people are clueless about the process(es) and the true test is staying in one of these units.
    Besides, who needs trading on how to grow a beard and walk around in silkies at the gym?

  24. Hack Stone says:

    That corporate training seminar that he provided to All Points Logistics was off the chain! Especially that part where he had the entire auditorium under mass hypnosis and convinced them to go on the Internet and attack anyone who questioned the legitimacy of Phil Monkress claiming to be a US Navy SEAL.

  25. tshe says:

    How To Improve Your Business

    Don’t send money to fakes saying they will improve your business.

    The above advice was worth several thousand dollars. If you found this advice helpful, please donate to MP/TAH/VG at:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=X4WXUENEHRS3G

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

  26. bmorgan says:

    I have to say that what strikes me as odd in regard to the video clips is that they seem to equate being a PJ as some kind of door-kicking tip-of-the-spear combat commando.

    They are bad-ass, don’t get me wrong, but as I understand it they are primarily a medical rescue person. Downed pilots, that type of thing.

    I’m sure they expand into other areas just like the one guy that is destined for the MoH bestowed upon him. I just don’t think they lead the charge in any tip of the spear combat mission but may be along for medical support or rescue.

    I could be wrong but that is my understanding of them.

  27. Martinjmpr says:

    He certainly seems like a PJ to me.

    Pretentious Jackass, that is.

  28. Hatchet says:

    Went to Graham’s Ewe-Tube channel and commented accordingly – ‘CLAIMS TO BE – Ex-USAF Pararescueman, or a “PJ” – ACTUALLY IS – Served
    USAF ’92-’96-ANG ’97-’93 as a GROUND RADIO COMMUNICATIONS JOURNEYMAN.
    Valor Guardians and Military Phony dot com – input ‘Eric Graham’.’

    Be interesting to see just how long those comments last…

    POS

    • MarineDad61 says:

      Hatchet,
      Reading this, I went to YouTube, searched for “Eric Graham”,
      clicked Filter / Upload date, and found this. Uploaded TODAY.

      • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

        Eric Graham is more full of shit than ten million Seagulls, a horde of Used Car Salesmen and three Platoons of Politicians all put together!

      • Hatchet says:

        Bravo Zulu, MarineDad61! Nothing quite like a bit of sunshine to scatter the cucarachas. Posted the very same on Mildred’s channel too. Ought to be interesting to see how long Graham lasts in this focused ray of sunshine…
        Cheers Mate!!

        • Keepin' It Real says:

          Sunshine

          • Hatchet says:

            ROTFLMAO!!!!! By sometime tomorrow, Graham’s probably going to be doing the very same AND very probably spitting blood too. *shrug* Such are the best laid plans of gutless wonders, liars and valour thieves…

        • MarineDad61 says:

          Hatchet,
          MORE coming, SOON.
          On YouTube!!
          A local bud is helping out now,
          putting together a nice new video.
          IMHO an attention grabber, for a looooooong time.
          I’ll post the link here when I see it.

  29. MarineDad61 says:

    • MarineDad61 says:

      3 minutes long.
      Includes the Mark Joyner post on FakeBook.
      Includes plugs for MP and VG.
      I’m impressed. 🙂

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Amen to that!
      Just wanted to say this again, just maybe this and “Commo Checks” copying and pasting it will increase the Google®™ hits bringing searches to this thread:

      Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
      Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
      Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
      Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
      Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
      Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
      Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
      Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
      Eric L. Graham has multiple people alleging that he has conned them for multiple thousands of dollars each.
      Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
      Eric L. Graham never attended the US Army Airborne School, something required to become a USAF PJ.
      If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
      Eric L. Graham has multiple business complaints against him.
      I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
      Eric L. Graham was ordered to reimburse past clients in the State of Missouri.
      If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, Eric L. Graham would walk through it on his ass.
      Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
      Eric L. Graham has tens of thousands of miles to go before he even comes close to reaching mediocre.
      Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
      Eric L. Graham is more full of shit than ten million Seagulls, twelve million Geese, a horde of Used Car Salesmen and three platoons of politicians combined.
      Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself, may his balls turn square and fester at the corners..
      Eric L. Graham is more full of shit than the Chicago, Oklahoma City, Kansas City and Dallas Stockyards all put together.
      Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!
      Commo Check,
      ((((OVER))))

  30. Hatchet says:

    Interesting…. Umm, he almost kinda can’t quite…seem to remember what MODEL OF RIFLE he was use’n when he was wit da Spatial Forces in da Air Force. Odd. I have no trouble remembering what Rifle our Regiment used – Hell! I can still remember my rifle’s serial number. Hmmmm. K. Next! Says Eric – I’M NOW IN BETTER SHAPE THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS IN SPECIAL FORCES IN THE AIRFORCE(a Goebbels gambit – repeat the lie often enough…). In spite of and still, it does beg the question – WHY did he leave the Airforce in the first place? Or rather, WHAT caused him to…
    A personal observation – at approx the 1:06;mark, Joyner is introducing/talking about David Goggins, Eric Graham appears to be wiping SWEAT off his brow(Uh, whutzamattah Eric, are ya scared to talk to a real-deal-by-God-Navy-SEAL?) – also, facially and body-language-wise, Graham appears to be agitated and unsettled – It occurs to me that I would absolute full-on LOVE to hook Eric Graham up to a Polygraph machine… A wicked thought takes almost hold that decency causes me to reject..mostly. Onward. ‘When your planning a life & death-style-miss’n er mission etc’ – a FreudIan slip? The body-language does indicate such(constant eye-widening and hyper-gesticulation). At the 1:40 mark, Eric Graham begins to describe an exercise that they had to perform(w/ 50 gallon drums on a twelve mile march) – ALL of the metrics/measurements he described about that exercise were ALL approximate. Can’t speak for any of our esteemed TAH staff or it’s denizens but….when our Platoon Sergeant said we were going on a ten mile route march – you could bet the farm/your ass/ etc that it was going to be ten miles PLUS – that march-distance was NEVER approximate and there was NEVER anything halfway about it. Anyway, guy’s records SHOW he was NEVER a PJ. OK, so wicked thought disclosed? After Eric Graham completes his fantasy Polygraph test(and, well you know…FLUNKS!) – he gets Waterboarded for..weeks. That and it just conjures that great line from Zero Dark Thirty – “You lie to me, I hurt you”. I mean, if we asked Eric, he’d say it’s just what dem Spatial Forces guys do, right?! Yeah, I know – I’m a puss – everybody at,TAH would want dear ‘ol Eric to get the big barbed Satanic cock-thingy…. Far be from me. Have at it..

    @ MarineDad61 – you and your mate did an absolutely STELLAR job on this video. MANY kudos’, props and a very big Bravo Zulu to you both. Eric Graham will now come to understand that the price of stolen Valour is dear and THE INTERNET NEVER FORGETS.

  31. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Just wanted to say this again, just maybe this and “Commo Checks” copying and pasting it will increase the Google®™ hits bringing searches to this thread:

    Eric L. Graham DID serve in the US Air Force Air National Guard.
    Eric L. Graham WAS NEVER a US AF Pararescueman or “PJ” according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS of being a USAF PJ.
    Eric L. Graham also looks like another reject Apprentice towel Fluffer at Brucie’s Bath house (Entrance in the rear).
    Eric L. Graham has made himself a set of “Skid marks” on the underpants of Society by lying about his Military Service.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded The Air Force Achievement Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham is the human embodiment of a $1.50 haircut in modern times.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force training Ribbon.
    Eric L. Graham smells like he wipes from back to front.
    Eric L. Graham was awarded the US Air Force Good Conduct Medal according to records found.
    Eric L. Graham looks like the type who drives around alone wearing a mask.
    Eric L. Graham fucketh himself with his false claims of being a PJ.
    Eric L. Graham has multiple people alleging that he has conned them for multiple thousands of dollars each.
    Eric L. Graham is another reason why the Gene pool needs a Lifeguard.
    Eric L. Graham never attended the US Army Airborne School, something required to become a USAF PJ.
    If Eric L. Graham was an inanimate object, he’s be a Participation trophy.
    Eric L. Graham has multiple business complaints against him.
    I’d say that Eric L. Graham is as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.
    Eric L. Graham was ordered to reimburse past clients in the State of Missouri.
    If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, Eric L. Graham would walk through it on his ass.
    Eric L. Graham needs to care for as many plants as he can to compensate for the oxygen that he has wasted.
    Eric L. Graham has tens of thousands of miles to go before he even comes close to reaching mediocre.
    Eric L. Graham is less useful than a screen door on a Submarine.
    Eric L. Graham is more full of shit than ten million Seagulls, twelve million Geese, a horde of Used Car Salesmen and three platoons of politicians combined.
    Eric L. Graham is obviously scrambling to do damage control on what he has done to himself, may his balls turn square and fester at the corners..
    Eric L. Graham is more full of shit than the Chicago, Oklahoma City, Kansas City and Dallas Stockyards all put together.
    Eric L. Graham is now wallowing in the Google®™ fame he has brought on himself as Eric L. Graham will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER!
    Commo Check,
    ((((OVER))))

  32. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    SINCE nobody else has yet, I hereby make an official motion for Eric graham to receive the TAH® Hemisphere of Insults™, what say y’all?

  33. Ret_25X says:

    You have all misunderstood him. He wasn’t USAG PJ, he was the PJ boy at Brucie’s Bath House (entrance in rear).

    His job was to wash the stained PJs….

  34. Hatchet says:

    @API l®™ – I strongly support and indelibly second your motion to level THE fullest measure of the the TAH® Hemisphere of Insults™ at this pillock! Doped and Scoped. SEND IT!!!

  35. ChipNASA says:

    Multiple locations of discussions and votes (Oh and I can properly register and COUNT FUCKING VOTES BITCHES!!!!)and whatnot asking for deployment of the HoI and Without further delay…I give you…

    The Hemisphere of Insults®™
    (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
    FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
    TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
    THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
    DANGER CLOSE!!!!
    MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
    TAKE COVER!!!!!
    Eric (Rhymes with “Big Dick”, figuratively, not literally, unless you’re talking about his lying) Graham (As touch as a children’s fucking snack cracker) – Phony Air Force PJ, but in reality, yes he was kinf-of a PJ, a “Prodigious Jerkoff!!”, HEY DICKLESS (SUPER Dickless) WONDER, (“Yes, it’s true this man has no dick!” …**HT to Ghostbusters**) We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, , vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, broke taint cocksucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, YOU’RE the reason Joe Biden tried to throw himself down the stairs of Air Force One, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Anal ring dome probably left over from bobbing for apples in the porta potty, When he wants to put on some mood music, he has Alexa play Dueling Banjos, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, I hope he chokes to death on the first dick he gets forced to suck in prison , Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, I hope that this dood bursts into flames the next time he takes a shit, that he suffers the pain and agony consistent with practicing self-immolation and ends up completely destroyed as if he were a victim of spontaneous human combustion, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, you know what?, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel, I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, The only thing that he is good for is pulling targets on the Hand Grenade Range, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, cock-sucking piece of shit, overused prison fuckboy, tittyfuck cum spatter (Shamelessly stolen and credited, Terminal Lance …https://terminallance.com/2017/02/28/terminal-lance-461-drill-instructor-academy/?fbclid=IwAR36LjF848ATFa879zl5OZ6An7xsUuRL1_-VASzLgdLTI-p5o4g14ylaXE4) and from the Book of Face comments, if I could, I’d shove you back into your mother’s pussy so the doctor can FINISH the abortion,

  36. ChipNASA says:

    Peter-Puffer, I bet the knobs of all the cocks you’ve ever sucked are shinier than the arse end of a bald eagle in a nose dive!, ncid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Harebrained duckfucker, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, untreated, festering pus pocket, You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, you twink, You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, It’s impossible to underestimate you, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job, oh wait, you *SHOULD* be ashamed too, because, the more the merrier, You are the human version of period cramps, If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day, you thought you’d be nice the other day and you lent a girl an umbrella, so, that makes the total of girls you’ve made wet this year -1, if you were a trophy at the end of my race, I’d walk backwards, you try to present yourself as a knight in shining armor but really, you’re a loser in tinfoil, if you were ever a teacher, your students would never wear a seatbelt while driving to school, because they’d want to die before ever having to take one of your classes, you’re what Olive Garden is to real Italians, He has the facial expression of a washed-out panhandler you see at finer Bus Stations everywhere, he looks like Hunter Biden’s stunt double. If he was on Prison Bachelor, he would offer his cellmate his brown rose, you have a chronically, domestically abused, tiny pee pee, this valor poacher thinks he’s so hot and such an intellect, that he gets a semi chub (all that he is able) by his actions and subsequently, is in danger of raising blood blisters on his Third Thumb due to the protracted use of his Special Purpose Magnifying Glass and eyebrow tweezers, You just **HAVE** to have any attention you can get, eh you rabbit fucked, chihuahua, shit-for-brains, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?!, the only currency he should be dealing with is cigarettes (fags for you Brits) while he’s in the pokey and he is known to be a pack a day smoker of the cock, Sphincter reaper, That ‘stash you may or may not have (if you had one) looks like Goal Post for a Dick…. Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead, cunt giblets (Thanks ASMDSS), If this goose shit gobbling mongoloid were an MRE, he would be Spaghetti and Dick, is a sack sucking semen slurper, nut nibbling nincompoop, and jizz juicing jackoff. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, Your face makes onions cry, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, This twat is gayer than Liberace skydiving ass first into a canyon of buttplugs, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, Weeping Pustule on the Whipworm Shat by a Flea Plucked from the Hairy Anus of a Noble Bilge Rat, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, He never joined Columbia Record Club because he could not afford a penny, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, He is so stupid, he buys matinee tickets at a drive in theater, His erectile dysfunction and impotence is so severe that his continual dick-beating of such pointlessness amazes anyone that is so unfortunate as to be acquainted with him, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, you are such a disappointment to the human race, I think I’m gonna have to court your slovenly, unhinged, cow of a Mother, in real life, second only to the character Annie Wilkes in Misery, and then hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box, such that another chromosomally challenged creature like you never occurs again, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, this is the kinda guy who’s feet swing when he’s on the toilet, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine, perpetual Turd that just keeps circling the bowl and will never flush, Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, This motherfucking guy makes my ass itch, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts, putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster,

    • ChipNASA says:

      you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid, Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid, Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, His mother made it be known that he had a Do Not Resuscitate declaration when she would take him for a haircut, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared Gorilla Glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, You’re like the end piece of a bread loaf. Everyone touches you but nobody wants you, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, puborectalis spasm, you are so bad, you’re a disappointment to the table of elements and the molecules that they represent, that came from space to form humans on Planet Earth, you are so awful, you make humanity want to beg for a near extinction level, asteroid impact event, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, He is so stupid, he overdosed on placebos. dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, when you hear that he claims to be suffering from TBI or PTSD, it’s not the traditional definition but He suffers from TBI (Tiny Ball Insecurity) as well as PTSD (Penis Too Small Disorder.) He has a face that screams “Amber Alert”, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented sucking dicks, kutomba wewe, This clown dresses up like the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) for Easter, and likes to squat and drop colored Easter eggs out of his asshole, for the assorted homeless that gather for such festivities, next to the dumpster and used grease and cooking oil disposal bin, behind the Pilot Flying J truck stop, until either the consumables are depleted or the mob disperses. Bonus points if an accidental, bleeding, rectal prolapse and depressed crying occurs for the gathered audience. And the crowd goes wild!! Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, If there was a stadium full of assholes, like maybe a medium sized NFL stadium, say 70,000 assholes, all sizes and colors, pink, brown, black, red, yellow, green, and then all types, big, small, middle, inflamed, dripping, unclean, festering, etc, a gun would go off and then fireworks and a cheer would arise and build to a deafening crescendo and there, on the 50 yard line, the lights would come up and the announcer would say, “Yes, there he is folks, let’s have a round of applause…” and the stadium would start doing the wave and then more cheering, a cacophony of assholes, at first softly and then building, building, “king, king, king, king, King, King, King, King, KING, KING, KING, KING!!!! KING OF THE ASSHOLES!!!!, yes, quite a feat but you’ve achieved it. And you’re such a self-centered asshole, you’d take a bow, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, this guy would walk through it on his ass, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, smells like he wipes from back to front, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), NOT a PJ, Pararescueman, has been profiting from his FALSE CLAIMS, has multiple people alleging that he has conned them for multiple thousands of dollars each, never attended the US Army Airborne School, something required to become a USAF PJ, has multiple business complaints against him, and is most likely (an opinion) a slicky boy and a con artist, usually stolen valor is the rancid cherry on the top of a shit sundae and I’d not be surprised if this scrote nibbler wasn’t responsible for some other nefarious activities, Jesus Christ himself would take one look at you and shake his head ruefully, hopefully you’re about to get fed a steady diet of the old prison pork sword, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again,

      • ChipNASA says:

        you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, This guy is a piece of lint on stinky goat nuts, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, This guy has spunk. And by spunk, I mean he likes to ingest copious, and I mean immense, monumental and breathtaking, amounts of Baby Batter, Ball Barf, Trouser Gravy, Man Chowder, High Fructose Porn Syrup, Daddy Sauce, Choad Nectar, Throat Yogurt, Penis Colada, Nut Butter, and Weiner Sauce, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, I hope that soon you get to meet Jesus, and by that, not die, but that would be nice, BUT and I mean “BUTT”, you get vigorously and repeatedly ventilated by a guy named Jesus in jail, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society, What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle, what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt, And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
        Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag, erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
        If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
        (Remembering to reference “Sarge” for the Alphabet Assault and requesting the Staff Summary Sheet of Shame)
        We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
        OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
        /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
        The Hemisphere of Insults®™
        https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR

        FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
        Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
        Here endeth the lesson.
        Disclaimer:
        I don’t think that Eric Graham is going to garner any additional public media attention as the Foley and Jowers case and subsequent Posts, and therefore, we are probably not in danger of having to edit the HoI.

        • KoB says:

          And as The Gun Bunny wept with Joy, all of the miscreanted d’weeded deplorables and the Adorable Deplorables said…AMEN!

          BDA 100/100 ALL HAIL ChipNASA and the TAH HoI!!! ALL HAIL!!!

  37. ChipNASA says:

    skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

    So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

    • ChipNASA says:

      Patton Quote added to the end …

      On George S. Patton: (Multiple sources but… http://www.pattonhq.com/speech.html )

      “He could, when necessary, open up with both barrels and let forth such blue-flamed phrases that they seemed almost eloquent in their delivery. When asked by his nephew about his profanity, Patton remarked, “When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty. It may not sound nice to some bunch of little old ladies at an afternoon tea party, but it helps my soldiers to remember. You can’t run an army without profanity; and it has to be eloquent profanity. An Army without profanity couldn’t fight its way out of a piss-soaked paper bag.”

      ————————–