This young Marine has “E-4 Mafia” written all over him
Jeff LPH 3 tipped us off to this great one.
You’re a young Marine stationed at Miramar. Half your squadron just deployed. Now you’re at home station and facing an inspection. As he says, this is “just straight up not a good time.”
You need to sham your way out of this. A dental appointment and bible study aren’t going to cut it this time. Wait! There’s a pandemic on. One that requires you to spend 14 days in your quarters if you’re exposed. Bingo! Craigslist here I go!
No word on if the Marine got the date with COVID that he was seeking or the results of said make-out session. I’d imagine with half the squadron deployed, it’s not going to takethe first sergeant very long to figure out which Marine this is. Even if he can’t (or even if he does) single one man out, there will be some hell to pay for all the Marines in this squadron.
Source; Military Times
Category: COVID-19, Guest Link, Marines
LOL!
Heh heh! Can’t make this stuff up! Or can you? A barracks cat? You gotta know that pu$$y has been rode hard and put up wet. I’d be checking the shot record real close.
Click on and scroll thru the MT Article. You gotta see the Wing Wiper’s gams in the dress blues and spiked heels. Wonder if she can cook?
What an awesome… attitude! She’s got the legs for them, and met the letter of the regulation. Am I sexist for this? Maybe. I don’t care. If she’s gonna put in the effort to look great, I’m gonna applaud her efforts.
Most “Barracks Cats” I saw had more mileage than a 1969 Mack Truck!
Let me get this straight. He can’t get laid even with half the squadron deployed without resorting to some BS on Craig’s list? What kind of lazy ass, no game Jody is this? Kids these days….
Officer material
“Hoping to catch covid” – Did his mother drop him on his head? How did he make it through boot camp? And where is SGT Al Johns (the Late, Great) when you need him?
This mope wants to catch CV-19?
Be careful what you wish for, you imbecile. You might get it and you won’t like it.
Can I have his job?
Al JOHNSON!!!!!!!! (RIP)
Fumblefingers Friday!!!!!!!!!
I don’t Covid would be the worst of what he brings home.
He is exercising lateral and outside the box thinking. 5.0/5.0 pros and cons, meritorious mast and send him on the next MOQ board.
BHWHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
😂😜🤣😃😅😁😀
This guy’s life must really suck if he’s willing to take roughly a 1 in 1,000 chance of dying just to get out of an inspection.
In his age group it is much less than 1 in 1,000 chance of dying from Covid.
I have yet to even hear of an active duty Soldier dying of covid, and over half of my current bat here in Fort Carson already had it, all with mild symptoms.
One man died on an aircraft carrier of 5000+
It’s a freakin flu bug for most folks, and “big cold” for many of those.
And as we all know, sailors are by no means a particularly hardy bunch.
Definitely lower than 1/1000 in the military, with DOD saying 14 dead and 878 hospitalized as of Wednesday:
https://www.defense.gov/explore/spotlight/coronavirus/
What’s interesting is that the active military rate (~1 death per 6760 cases) is considerably lower than DOD’s civilian rate (~1 per 261 cases). I’m guessing that’s due to the relative age ranges in both groups, and quite possibly general overall health, too.
So to prevent expiring from Covid 19, you should arrive two hours early for any scheduled event, pick up vast amounts of cigarette butts, and not walk around with your hands in your pocket? Who knew?
PT belts prevent infection
Staying off the lawn prevents infection as well.
General population death rate is .006%), so a healthy military age male with all his shots should be even less!
Why is he so bummed about inspections? clean some stuff…lay it out…lay it out again…wait for the CO to come buy for several hours…wait some more…pack it up, lay it out again….wait! Easy days.
Well, excuuuuuuse me (hat tip to Steve Martin). I used general population statistics obtained in a quick internet search to give a rough approximation of the risk the guy intentionally took in this case. The source I found gave a US mortality rate of 0.1% for the 18-24 y/o age group. That’s 1 per 1,000 cases.
FWIW: 1 in 1,000 is within an order of magnitude to what’s apparently been noted within the military for the 18-24 y/o age group. In my book, that’s close enough to merit the qualifier “roughly”. YMMV.
You’re also missing my main point. Who risks serious illness with potential for long-term health consequences having even a 1 in 20,000 chance of dying by intentionally contracting an incurable disease (you either live through it or you die; there’s no proven effective treatment) that carries that amount of risk simply to get out of an inspection? Answer: a blithering idiot, or someone with a seriously crappy life (or both). Thus my comment that “his life must really suck.”
On the other hand, anybody that joins the military, particularly the ground forces, probably has a better than average chance of adverse long-term health consequences, even death. Young folks think they have 9 lives, like a cat, and that those 9 will last forever. Some folks even think it’s safe to jump out of airplanes.
Jumping out of an airplane is perfectly safe. Everything after that exit is questionable though.
Improvise, adapt, overcome. Chesty would be proud!
I’d imagine with half the squadron deployed, it’s not going to take the first sergeant very long to figure out which Marine this is.
$100 says that the First Sergeant knew who it was three seconds into the ad being brought to his attention.
“Bring me Smith. Now.”
“First Sergeant, we don’t-”
“It’s him. Bring him here. And lay some plastic down in my office.”