Man’s warning of impending explosive bowel movement evacuates Home Depot for a bomb threat

| October 25, 2020

This is an older story, but worth sharing. Ah, simpler days pre-COVID…Back in 2019 in Wichita;

“You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin to blow it up.”

A “polite warning” and some “men’s bathroom humor” at a Home Depot led to a 911 call about a potential bomb threat, according to a report from the Wichita Police Department.

Officers were called to the home improvement store at about 12:15 p.m. Monday for a reported bomb threat, the report states. When police got there, an employee said he was “standing at the urinal” when a man came out of a bathroom stall and said, “Somebody told me there’s a bomb in the building, you need to leave the building,” the report states.

The employee told police that he asked the man to repeat what he said, and that man gave the same statement two more times.

The Wichita Home Depot employee left the restroom and told store security about the warning, and the security guard called 911, police wrote in the report.

A store clerk recognized the man who gave the warning as a “regular customer,” and gave the customer’s name to police.

The officer got a hold of the man on the phone, and he told police “that he had no intention of causing such alarm, and that the comment he said … was meant to be funny,” the report says.

The man reported to police that he was in the bathroom stall when he heard another man announce something along the lines of, “You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin to blow it up.” It is not known who said that, according to the report.

The man said that he and another person laughed because they understood the warning. He said they understood the man “was in a serious need to defecate, and that he was attempting to provide a polite warning to the other patrons of the bathroom,” an officer wrote.

The “regular customer” told police he was trying to be funny when he gave the warning to another man — the store employee — in the bathroom. He said he didn’t know the “men’s bathroom humor … was taken so seriously.”

Police say that Home Depot security does not want to press any charges.

Source; Wichita Eagle

Category: "Teh Stoopid", "Truth or fiction?", Humor

Comments (15)

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  1. Skippy says:


  2. Devtun says:

    You mean The Bomb Depot.

  3. Cameron says:

    Trust me, I know the feeling. When mom and I went to Tokyo Disneyland with MWR in spring of last year, I remember really having to pee when it started getting damp later during the day. My bladder had never hurt so much before.

  4. Green Thumb says:

    The Deuce bringing the pain.

  5. 11B-Mailclerk says:


  6. Maybe they thought the guy really wasn’t shitting when he said that. “Here I sit broken hearted came to shit but only farted”

  7. AZRobert says:

    Bowels Moves by Bob River’s Band comes to mind, love his other tunes too.

    BTW, no offence to any Bob Seger fans or just, turn the page….

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      Again? Glory! Who did that to you? The fire inside, like a rock. Who do you think we are? Roll Me Away, against the wind! Shame on the moon, still the same. 😛

  8. Eggs says:

    I blame Taco Bell.

  9. penguinman000 says:

    Also know as “Marines hitting the beach” or “inserting a SEAL team.”

  10. The Stranger says:

    Posted with no further comment:

  11. Skippy says:

    A nee-to factoid about this Home Depot
    a cereal killer was caught thanks to a package
    He dropped off there