The William Derek Church apology
So we got an email last night from William Derek Church, also known as the Round Ranger. He sends this photo of his receipt where he allegedly turned over his uniform to Goodwill. It’s actually not proof of anything. It says “Clothes” so he might have given them his Scooby-Doo PJs, and even if he did turn over his uniform, that only means it’s available for another rotund phony to buy it.
But the photo comes with this email message;
Here is my proof where I took the uniform and gave it away. It is a photo attached.
Once again I’m sorry for the hurt, disrespect, and mess I have caused. I have openly admitted before that my actions were wrong and inexcusable. I guess I should thank you for giving me a chance to start over and be a better man. Now with the burden of the lies lifted I can be the MAN God would have me be. I have truly turned my life around and this has also shown me the commitment I have in many life. You may not choose too believe me but my wife didn’t know until the blog. This could have torn us apart but she chose to love me through it and help me see my errors and how to fix them. This has changed the way I view myself, I no longer need a lie to give me my self worth. So once again my formal apology for all threats, lies, hurt, and damage that have been caused. The uniform and medals were donated, what they have me as a receipt is attached. This is all I have.
You, other veterans, and service members have many up most repect.
William Derek Church
Well, he finally said that he’s sorry, even if he should have done it weeks ago. I’m just the messenger, but I’m done with him.
Well, except that this was spotted in the Lenoir Post Office and sent to us;
Category: Phony soldiers
I just wonder how Church looks in the mirror every morning.
Tough.
Jabba the Fuck, did you notice what just happened to greggy boy banks in Connecticut? He got exposed to the world for the fraud and dirtbag phony he is. Are you prepared to be next? Are you ready for that kind of exposure? I hope you are, you fat-assed cretin. Do enjoy the limelight when it hits you in your fat ass, you truly deserve it…
TOASTY COASTIE. YOU TEAR ME UP, keep them posts a’comin’!!
Frankly O, I appreciate the call and invitation, if my work schedule changes to where i can attend, COUNT ON me bein’ there!
WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH the roly-poly Round Ranger, I heartily encourage you to take a look at what has come to Gregory C. Banks THE FAKE SF OFFICER, the same is a’ comin’ your way!
How much money does your Dependopottamus leech off of SPC Beheler every month? That thing reminds me of my EX-MONSTER (May the day she was born be forever erased from the calendar!), a “professional spouse” that tried to leech from me the way your Dependopottamus leeches from a real-life Soldier!
Church, you fat, feckless fuckster, get off your dead, fat, flabby ass, and hand that shit over to SJ before someone like me rips the hair out of your nose. NOW!!!!!!
@154 Ex-PH2: before someone like me rips the hair out of your nose.
Owch! That hurts just reading it!
–ghp
Waddlin’ Willy, we haven’t forgotten you. Have you checked out the link to see what’s happened to Gregory banks? You’re next fatboy. The sand has almost run out of the hourglass.
Hello Sparkle Pony! Are you and the Mrs. Piggy having a lovely HUMP DAY? I certainly hope so. How’s the Mac and Cheese with Hot Dog Pieces? Did you get your fair share? If you didm’t I hear both Mac and Cheese and Hot Dogs are on say at the Piggly Wiggly this week AND they take FOOD STAMPS! YOu’ve won the flippin lottery on that cause I know 5 boxes for a $1.00 is a lot for you. Anyway, just stoping in to let you know we having forgotten our favorite Pompous Pickle Shit…. Have a nice evening… William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church Valor Thief of Lenoir NC William Derek Church… Read more »
I was going through some of my Dad’s things tonight when I found Barry Sadler’s album. One of the songs on that album was “Garret Trooper”. I remember Dad laughing his ass off at this song. Hope you enjoy the parallels to some of our recent “stars” here.
Fat Fuck.
@Wrench Awesome Link I had forgotten he was actually SF. We had a song we use to play on the PA systems from our trucks as we would be leaving to go out on Patrol. I’ll try to find it its called the Fobbit Song, very similar, but the content of the Fobbit song is R Rated !
Found it !! Of course most of these shit bags never deployed. If you have been to OIF or OEF you’ll understand the song a bit better.
http://youtu.be/-Oq2LdbSIu0
Of course Saddler’s “Garet Trooper” derives from “Garrison Trooper.” Here are the lyrics for those who do not remember the song. I was a mere lad of 15 or so when I got his autograph outside Bragg. ========= GARET TROOPER This is dedicated to the parade field trooper Who never leaves that nice soft garrison And always looks real pretty Now in the war torn jungles of Vietnam You’ll find a certain kind of man You’ll see him everywhere He’s a trooper, a garet trooper Yeah, he’s five foot four, 228 pounds of blubber Got him a nickel plated 45 tied down low, quick draw holster Two bandoliers of brasso-ed ammo Yeah he’s a trooper, a garet trooper He’s fought from Saigon to Ninh Thuan In every bar that is, and then only with the girls And he ain’t won one yet But he’s a trooper, a garet trooper (garet trooper) He’s got a hip knife, a side knife, a boot knife, a shoulder knife And a little bitty one that’s a combination flare gun, dinner set, and genuine police whistle But he’s a trooper, a garet trooper Now I run into one the other day, He told me a story, He said he’d just this minute come back from a fifteen day runnin’ fight with the Cong Said he captured a lot of loot You know what I saw when I looked down? A spit shined boot Yeah, he’s a trooper, a garet trooper (garet trooper) Now poor ole pilot come back today Half his crew was killed, aircraft shot to hell But he don’t say much He’s not a trooper, a garet trooper And out in the hills and the jungles and the swamps Living like a bunch of dogs Are some men wearing funny little green hats They stay out there and fight for months on end They don’t say much ’cause they’re not troopers, garet troopers (garet troopers) And I bet finally, when I leave this war torn land The last thing I’ll see will be, though I may be in a drunken stupor I bet… Read more »
I was thinking that appropriate punishment for a case of stolen valor so blatant would be an Internet campaign of ridicule that would forever banish him to a life of unemployment, condemned to living in a home that would not be up to the standards of a junkyard, and he ended up married to an obese woman who is hygienically challenged and has the ambition of a three toed sloth. Then, it occurred to me that we were too late.
Oh my gosh MSG! The Fobbit song! I needed that laugh
Army ATC: Contact me, please.
frankiecee at gmail dot com
@163 Hackstone
True dat.
Anyone write down the Round Ranger’s address? I had it and had seen the hovel on Street View but I want to see it for real. I know the street but can’t remember/find the number.
Don’t worry Willie. Just going to do a drive by. Still waiting for you to give Jonn a time and place to turn in your costumes. How about that gas station/mart at the intersection near you on Morganton Blvd in Gamewell?
What is big and fat and goes queef in the night?
Derek Church.
3367 Playmore Beach Rd
Make sure you take pictures, would be cool if you could get a pic of him or the dependapotamous. It would be like a Big Foot sighting !
well ok, he apologized. That’s what we want. Now, lets sit back and watch.
See what happens
We already know what happened. Like everything else that comes out of Churches mouth, it was a lie. He still has the clown suit and medals.
His so called apology was half-assed at best. He never admitted to his stolen valor claims of being Ranger qualified and a Purple Heart recipient. Even though he shows a receipt from Goodwill that shows only a clothing donation. He has never turn over any medals/awards that he never earned. So he will remain famous here at TAH.
The worthless fat fuck whom could not do 10 situps, 10 push ups, or even run 10 feet to save his life. Yes William Derek Church, do you truly believe that when anyone looks at you, all they see is a slim, fit, stud muffin of a Army Ranger? No dumb ass, when everyone looks at you, all they see is a MUFFIN TOP with a pimple for a head.
Now he needs to be man enough n get a job instead of getting everyone else to keep him up. The only thing that keeps him from working is just lazy. Get a job n support your family like a real man. Work for the respect of people instead of feeding lies to try to get respect.
Its throw back Thursday and I bet William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient would like to go back to before his wedding picture day and take those pictures wearing something other than his clown suit.
I haven’t received any e-mails the last couple of days with sighting reports, my guess is our hero is staying I the hovel. Since he is now the Dependapotamous with his worse half working he doesn’t want to get caught in public. Not to mention it would probably be uncomfortable to walk into a local establishment to see his wanted poster on the wall.
The gears of justice grind slowly, but rest assured they are turning in the background.
I’d LOVE to see William Derek Church, Mark Wayne Tiemann and Dennis Chevalier in a fight the the death cage match over a 7 lb block of gubmint’ cheese. 😀
William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
I just love feeding the Google Search Monster. You are pretty well embedded into the internet for ever at this point.
Oh and lets not forget the Stolen Valor Tournament coming up soon, I am sure you will be a high seed, who knows you might even make the fecal four or better. What an accomplishment that will be.
Guess what day it is, no it doesn’t mean you and the Hippo get to mate, its Hump Day for most working people.
Enjoy your infamy you get more famous everyday !
William Derek Church
http://fapit.net/imgs/928/you_win_this_time.jpg
Just a quick revive on the thread.
William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
Good Evening, another week comes to and end, a work week for just about everyone else but you. Sent out a few e-mails today to check on the progress the VA is making in regards to the FRAUD Investigation. That should be coming to an end very soon.
Also had a couple of requests for your Military records, the ones that the NC ARNG released under the Freedom of Information Act. I would guess you are in for some rather embarrassing questions real soon.
That is all .
I’ll give the Round Ranger some credit. He finally did what an outed phony should do: apologize, then shut the hell up, go away, and never come back. It took him a long time to come to the realization that this is what he should do – far too long – but he finally did, which is more than I can say for many of our favorite asswipes. So, to William Derek Church, a small morsel of grudging respect: you’ve done better than some jerks we know.