William Derek Church; the Round Ranger
I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine” and Paul Tillson rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform.
He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;
I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.
And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.
ADDED: Here’s his Facebook, by the way.
Added by Sporkmaster.
It seems that he has another friend who faking along side him, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if.
Added by Sporkmaster
Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community.
Category: Phony soldiers
So William and William (Chamberlin and Church) have the same first name, and same first two letters of the last name, went to the same High School, and wound up in the same unit in the Army doing super secret “spec-ops” stuff …weird that’s a strange coincidence. I can’t even count how many times I ran into people from my hometown in my squad, let alone how many times I “saved” their lives (that’s sarcasm).
Question for Ms. Church. Have you ever met this guy Chamberlin? I mean if he is only alive because of your man he must have been at your wedding right? And after all he was commenting on this blog from a computer located in your house last night (see Jonn’s comment 92 above). So you remember him being there huh? Come on Ms. Church, the simplest answer is usually the most correct.
Oh brother, I missed most of this. Damn let me get the popcorn going.
Kiaya, it must really hurt finding out your husband is a Phoney, I do feel bad for you. I cant wait to see what kind of fake bull shit records he has to submit.
@154, 143, 142, 135
SUMMON ZOMBIE ORVILLE REDENBACHER!!!
/lmfao
@ 152 … Team Sergeant … You are 99.99% correct.
She knows a little about the USN … she curses like a Sailor.
In addition, she is rude and disrespectful!
I’m glad someone has stepped up to replace Phildo and Psul.
/like a kitten and a ball of yarn here.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
Philip Dale Monkress, Paul K Wickre, All Points Logistics, William Derek Church The round ranger.
/sockpuppets GALORE!!!
//OOh and GOOGLE HITS!!!
@155
Zombie Orville Redenbacher has more credibility than Willie Church……
That did it lol, just made caramel sauce last night, caramel corn it is! ExPH2, bet the stuff does work with wine….
dear lord this shit storm has grown by leaps and bound since I went to bed.
I love that his wife took the time to answer my post about plagiarism. no my dear, it is NOT plagiarism, Jonn clearly stated that those eyesore photos came from your hubbys facebutt page and at no time tried to pass them off as his own.
I love that the bigger and wilder the poser proof is the harder they thrash around on the line when caught. Just give up Church,we are going to reel you in and mount you on the wall along with all the other fakers that get busted here.
@153 Smoke Check
And the all have the same IP address. Despite ol’ Will Chamberlain supposedly living near Bragg
“And as for Chucky Beheler and Tony Taylor you definitely have no right to bring their names into it.”
We didn’t..one of your fans from Lenoir did last night via IM
Enlisted in ANG with SGT Donnie Hawkins In February 9th of 1994 Completed Basic Training In August of 1994 October 14-16 of 1994 Ft. Bragg Weapons Qualification November 5-6 of 1994 Ft. Bragg Advanced Individual Training December 3-4 of 1994 Ft. Benning Family Day, Semi Annual Show down inspection and CTT Prep January 21-22 of 1995 Ft. Benning Combat Tactical Training and Inspection February 11-12 of 1995 Ft. Benning Combat Tactical Training, Individual Training, Weapons Maintence. March 7-19 of 1995 Ft. Bragg Platoon Action Readiness Testing and preparation. April 1-2 of 1995 Ft. Benning Prep Load out for AT and FTX April 22 of 1995 Orders received to report to Ft. Benning, GA for 11B AIT May 14, 1995 Ft. Benning AT/FTX recovery and equipment cleaning June 10-11 of 1995 Ft. Benning Individual training and maintence July 15-16 of 1995 Ft. Bragg Squad Training, Advanced Readiness Training August 08 1995 Report to Ft. Benning 30th AG for 11B AIT September 30 1995 Completion of AIT Ft. Benning, received PV3 Airborne School- Immediately following AIT as a volunteer October 1995; Received E-4 Specialist RIP- Ranger Initiation Processing- Immediately following Airborne School also as a volunteer From End of October 1995- December 1995 ANOC and BNOC- January- February of 1996; upon Completion given Corporal rank. Completion of Sniper School- March 15, 1996- May 1996 Upon completion of sniper school received first deployment orders to Panama. Served During the War on Drugs PANAMA- 28May1996-10Aug1996 First Discharge due to psych eval Sept 1996. Re-enlistment to Reserve Status in July of 1998 Worked for NC Division of Prisons in Aug 1998-Sept 2001 Received Orders on 13 Sept 2001 for activation for the 75th Ranger RGT. Deployed to Iraq; Boots on Ground 20 Sept 2001- March 2003 Field Promoted to SSGT August 10, 2003 Rotated home 30days Deployed to Afghanistan May 2003-May 2004 Came home 2 weeks end of Jan 2004 for daughters arrival Came home another 2 weeks when tour in Afghanistan ended in May 2004 Deploy Back to Iraq- June 2004- July 2006 Wounded in Downtown Bagdad, Iraq. Five rounds to the chest. Broken… Read more »
You’d better check your timeline, there, Fat Boy. You were in Iraq nearly two years before the Third Division?
@157.
No one can replace Commander Monkress and Paul (of the Ballsack).
Losers.
I wait with baited breath
@161 That’s my point.
The guy either doesn’t exist, or these two High School buddies, Will Chamberlin and William Derek the Round Ranger Church sat down and hatched plans to back each other’s ridiculous fake military careers. I’d personally like to know if Ms. Church has met this Chamberlin dude in the flesh.
@165
If you looked at her pics on FB…good ol’ Will comments on almost everyone..and she comments back
Obviously we (as in us on TAH) all know the Will guy is Derek (and I saw several other suspect “buddies” and family members on his FB page before he closed it)
I truly believe..she thinks this Will guy is real (and no telling who else)
I was contacted on FB last night be several of his “family members” and now their pages are closed.
If he closed Will’s page right now…that would look TOO suspect to the wife.
I feel sorry for her. Truly. As a father of daughters.
Her world is crashing down right now…or will be shortly.
Btw…Kiaya…you need to look at Derek’s..err..I mean Will’s FB page and the amount of jailbait he is friends with.
Boy, did i miss it last night. Now for Derek@107, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. I did one tour in Iraq as per my name header, and you want us to act civilized, BULLSHIT ASSHOLE. You made your stupid claims while posting stupid pictures wearing a uniform of the Armed Services in ways that if you were active while wearing said uniform the way you were wearing it would have lead to some serious court martial charges.
So you worthless FAT FUCKER, come clean and this will end, but this post about you remains because guess what FAT FUCK. From now on, when you now try to find gainful employment and any potential employer just simply Googles your name. Guess what they will find? Here, let help yuo Google that FAT FUCK=https://www.google.com/#q=William+Derek+Church
Hell FAT FUCK, you may have just screwed your self out of any gainful employment for the rest of your FAT pathetic life.
Sorry..the above should have been to 166
Really an E3 or E4 going to ANCOES ?? Church your FULL OF SHIT and By the Way !
A veteran is a person who served at least 180 days in the active military, and who was discharged or released under conditions other than dishonorable, as specified in 38 U.S.C. 101(2). Active service includes full-time Federal service in the National Guard or a Reserve Component. The definition of “active service” does not include full-time duty performed strictly for training purposes (i.e., that which is referred to as “weekend” or “annual” training), nor does it include full-time active duty performed by National Guard personnel who are mobilized by State rather than Federal authorities.
Your month of active duty doesnt qualify fuck bag !
@163.
Completed ANCOC and promoted to Corporal.
Enough said.
Fat Ass Shitbag.
Hey fat Willie, I could make up a page full of shit too. Back it up with documentation. Cause all that you have done here is fiction writing as far as I am concerned.
“War on Drugs”…”First Discharge due to psych eval Sept 1996″… WTF is this???
Jonn… got to give this guy an automatic seed to the Fecal Four in the next Ballduster
Some GOOGLE PIMP SLAP ACTION for William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.
@163
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went full on retard
That’s not documentation, by the way. That’s you typing stuff. Someone tried that in court a few months ago and it didn’t work then either.
Astounding…seriously…
This moron takes us all for fools
The pure fucking hubris
Fire for effect everyone.
This fucktard deserved everything coming his way
Has anyone called the North Carolina National Guard yet? Just wondering what their take on this would be. I would be interested to see what they have for records.
“Worked for NC Division of Prisons in Aug 1998-Sept 2001”
I wonder what color his jump suit was ?? I’ll bet he was a PC.
I already sent his BS to the local Sheriff. Now I am going to kick it up a notch.
Oh shit@163, you are totally full of shit William Derek Church.
Da fuck… you say you were put out because of a Psych Eval, but then recalled to active duty to the 75th?? Of course you were tubby… because the 75th was so hurting for Qualified Rangers that they had to recall psychological discharged individuals to fill their ranks.
Ranger Class # !?!?
You got Ranger School i nthe Guard in 95? I am not believing that for one second. Not at that time and not at your rank. I was offered Ranger School in 94 as an incentive to remain in the Guard and to take a Squad in a line company… Ranger School for Guardsman was almost unheard of at that time, and it sure was not going to privates.
I want to see orders, I want to see Discharge papers. The only thing I am buying is that this guy has psych issues.
Hey Church @144, we know that’s you posting stuff using your wife’s name. Give it up. You can make all the impotent threats you like. It just digs that hole you’ve fallen into deeper and deeper.
@Candle, caramel popcorn, maybe with sea salt? Either a light white wine, or a real mellow French merlot. California merlots tend to bite. The French merlot doesn’t; it just slides down past the caramel-sea salt coated popcorn and says ‘Bon jour. Enchante!’
Nope, no sympathy for the Mrs. (If that actually IS who posted here, which may or may not have occurred.) IF it was her, then after being given the benefit of the doubt she came here acting like a two-year old? No way to behave much less garner sympathy from those already willing to give it.
IF she remains clueless (which is highly doubtful), then yes, she deserves a tiny bit of sympathy. But seriously, any problems she may now have are the result of her own decisions. Living with the results is her exclusive responsibility.
Meanwhile, watching a lying liar justify his lies is highly amusing at this stage. It’s not like we haven’t observed this kind of lying liar sticking tenaciously to his lies before. So predictable. Rather like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
PS. are you any relation to Claudia Church?
@ O4E in comment #125:
I think he just regressed all the way back to Stage 1.
How in the wide world of sports does he expect anyone who has ever served a day to believe any of that crap?
This assclown was “boots on the ground” for 2 years in Iraq before the invasion?? What was he doing, causing a food shortage amongst the Iraqi military?? The more I read, the better it gets!!
Hey Willie, this is all FICTION!! You are an idiot!! But I do believe you were put out on a psych eval. After about 10 months of National Guard duty in the early 90’s. Your superiors probably wore the leather off of their boots kicking your fat fucking ass to the fucking curb!!
@163, ANCOC and BNCOC as a Cpl in less then 2 years? wow! I bow down to you! I didn’t even get to go to BNCOC until I was a SSG and had about 8-9 years active.
@Ex-PH2 Sea salt added already lol, made the stuff for cheesecake. Local winery has some rather decent whites, seems to work well. (Passes on over and watches the pros in action)
The top two paragraphs are verbatim drill schedule put out in the unit flyer
Fat Boyee Church,
Just focussing in on the facts:
“Wounded in Downtown Bagdad, Iraq. Five rounds to the chest. Broken sternum, flown to Germany and NUSS device installed.”
Downtown Bagdad … OK … let’s get by the misspelled location and get right to the point. Baghdad is comprised of neighborhoods and districts.
Where exactly were you wounded (neighborhood and or district), caliber of rounds, date and place first medical treatment.
You certainly know that … don’t you?
Also – recalled two days after 9/11, boots on the ground in Iraq one week later? Seriously?
@191…2 years before anyone else
@163
My service,
1981 to 2011, Corporal Captain Chief Master Warrant Officer Space Shuttle Door Gunner on STS 1 through STS 135. USAF ASFC 911BA
Weapons Platform Manager/Operator, USAF AFSC 911 BAMF, X-37, A, B & C, 2011 to present. (waves to you from on orbit)
http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t113/WitchDoctor02/SpaceShuttleDoorGunner-1.jpg
http://milspecmonkey.com/patches/ssdg-batch1.jpg
/REAL DEAL
@176
Jonn, he doesn’t have a DD214, he hasn’t spent enough time on active to get one. NCARNG should have something on this ass hat.
Guys, GUYS!!!
I found proof of William Derek Church, The Round Ranger SERVICE!!!!
Here’s his unit patch!!!!
http://www.atstacticalgear.com/PDGImages/SBDG-L.jpg
In regard to the career timeline contained in #163: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
Yo Fat Fu*k,
Answer me. I know you have no experience engaging in verbal intercourse with an E-9, however I am giving the opportunity.
DO IT AND DO IT NOW!
So, show us your name on the casualty list on the day you claim were wounded in Iraq
@144: I’ll tell you what proves nothing; that jacked up uniform. That’s what. Any, and I mean ANY, soldier worth his salt would be embarrased to be seen wearing the uniform that way. Plus, a real soldier wouldn’t be caught dead fucking up the rack as bad as he is in that picture. Purple Heart on the right side!? I don’t fucking think so. Infantry Chord on the left side!? Not today, sweetheart. Beret Flash over the right eye? He ain’t French.
Now; you say you have documentation? So do we.
@163: Jeebus fucking cripes!! You fucking douchetool; there is no way you were in Iraq with the Rangers 2 years BEFORE our military entered that country. I’ve had just about enough of your bullshit to last me a fucking lifetime. You’re so full of shit that your eyes are brown! Your uniform is fucked from jumpstreet, your recollection of dates of where and when are a complete no-go, you idiot, and your coming onto a Veteran run website to try and run your bullshit bonafides shows that you having to have a psych evaluation was a good idea by someone.
Now be gone you fucking maggot.
@Kiaya: When I was 23 I was jumping out of planes in the middle of the night. It took me a couple of more years to earn 2 degrees but the before mentioned activities held me up a little.
Lie to yourself sweetheart but don’t try lying to people that have been there and done that.
@194
He would have an NGB-22…
But if you look at the personnel record above
“No certificate issued”
Which means he was an IET separation…and never would have received an NGB 22
The only part true in his diatribe above is the part about being discharged for a psych eval…
Guarantee he showed up to AIT at Benning..started the retard Private games…and it took them the whole of AIT to kick him out (which is how it usually works)
Based on the short time he was at AIT I bet he started the BS as soon as he got there…and never did sh*t in AIT except live in the day room under suicide watch, sweep and mop floors, and go to his psych eval appointments.
This guy is totally legit. He gave us the date of “family day”. That seals it in my book (again sarcasm).
@193: Chip, he was bounced out of Space Shuttle Door Gunner school, because he’s too fucking stoopid even for that.