William Derek Church; the Round Ranger
I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine” and Paul Tillson rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform.
He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;
I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.
And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.
ADDED: Here’s his Facebook, by the way.
Added by Sporkmaster.
It seems that he has another friend who faking along side him, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if.
Added by Sporkmaster
Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community.
Category: Phony soldiers
I am a disabled veteran. I served nearly 8 weeks of Navy bootcamp before I hurt my back and was honorably discharged. I am your Speaker of the House of your government.
????????????
Yea, me too. Joke perhaps? If not, FO.
Since when is he in charge of both floors of Congress and all three branches of government
JFW – Erroneous enlistment; Medical condition disqualifying for military service, with no medical waiver approved.
So Church had a prior medical condition. I’ll wager he was thrown out for being a fat boy and couldn’t or wouldn’t lose the weight. He also would be ineligible for VA benefits.
And I thought JFW meant Just a Fuggin Wanker.
–ghp
I guess being a Pathological Liar had a lot to do with it.
When I requested the FOIA from NCARNG I made sure I sent them a picture of Fatass from his wedding picture with the Jacked up uniform. Probably why I got so much info back, they want him exposed for the Douche he really is. I have a copy of his physical but its all redacted due to privacy act. I have a bunch of other stuff as well. I sent a link for most of it to Jonn. He’s probably still laughing !
This is now part of my Daily searches…
http://dockets.justia.com/search?parties=William+Church&state=north_carolina&noscat=11&cases=mostrecent
It has been brought to my attention that Church has a Lawyer that is trying to get him a Disability. I guess they are expecting some back pay. I doubt its with the VA unless he Forged a DD-214. If its an SSI Claim I hope he told some of his stories of Combat and other Military feats which never happened. Its getting to be general practice for Attorneys to Google a name just prior to a hearing so no surprises pop up. I guess William Derek Church will be in for a big Surprise !! SSI Hearings are public and posted well in advance.
My new Daily Search !
http://dockets.justia.com/search?parties=William+Church&state=north_carolina&noscat=11&cases=mostrecent
It’s also true that a psych discharge from the Military results in a pension, maybe lardo here enlisted solely to play that game? Being seriously overweight also qualifies one for SSI Benefits, I’m sure he/it is fattening up in planning for a lifelong free ride!
YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!!!! You told me you were going to send a letter of apology to my unit and the rear det commander just told me you haven’t. It is now my personal mission in life to see you behind bars being someone’s bitch. Guess what fat boy my rear det commander is sending your wanted poster as well as all the lies that you and kaiya emailed me to the Asheville,and Charlotte news stations. ENJOY!!!!
I’ll send you a link to his full Military Records from the NCARNG. Not sure what is up with my media contacts but the more the merrier.. Stand By for an e-mail !
Thanks MSGRetired. it’s just been sent
MPSSG, Thats Great and I hope it helps get as much media attention as it deserves. Not sure why its taking so long for my Media contact to get what they need to confront him but they are still working on it. If someone else scoops them so be it.
You see William Derek Church The Liar of Lenoir, we will not stop as long as any of us has a breath left in us. We will continue to publicly Humiliate you with the Truth, and there are a couple of simple ways to get it stopped. Hiding in your shack is not one of them.
So Mr Phony RANGER, AIRBORNE, SSG, COMBAT VET, VET, COMBAT MEDIC, PARAMEDIC, BRONZE STAR RECIPIENT, and PURPLE HEART RECIPIENT you will never get away with your LIES. We expect you will continue to be the LIAR and COWARD you Truly are.
Dear Poser,
I hope you get what you have coming to you.
Eat my Ass.
Army Med.
Hoping the news folks get involved. Sooner would be better than later, IMO.
I wonder if Will Chamberlain is going to bring the whole 75th down to Lenoir and kick Church’s ass for posing?
O=4E, I’m beginning to think that Will Chamberlain is MIA. I heard he was right after a HANO (NO Opening)jump from cyberspace!!
Unfortunately I cant control how the media does things. They have been advised and all records sent to them, but unlike most media maybe they are doing homework before they try and do an interview. I know I would want my own FOIA before hand.
Church will get whats coming to him !! The General Population of Lenoir is getting educated on his Phoniness.
It probably wouldnt hurt is a few other people brought this to the media’s attention. It would even be better if someone in Lenoir does it as well. Here is the e-mail to use.
assignmentdesk@wbtv.com
The more people who let them know about Church the quicker it will be on the news !!
Just posted this on Topix Lenoir:
William Derek Church: bet you saw the front page headline in today’s Hickory Daily Record – “Man of Honor” – and thought it was about you? You probably thought that because it said “Battle of the Bulge” and you could relate. Alas. The 94 year old gentleman fought and survived the Battle of the Bulge in Belgium. The only Battle of the Bulge you fought was at the Golden Corral.
AND Dunkin’ Donuts as soon as the day-olds go on sale, the all-you-can-eat Truck Stop buffets,…
Dang. I had not seen any activity on this thread until I came here to post. I don’t know if it is the new format or what.
Well there is a possibility he has committed Fraud with the VA. I’m working on that now and hope to have some kind of answer in the very near future. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if he didnt forge paperwork and lie his way into getting treatment at a VA.
Damn, would that be nice, and FWIW, William Derek Church will be my choice for the top spot on this years Stolen Valor Tourney. Yes, we have had some real doozies this year, but William Derek Church is my choice, with a Daniel Bernath coming in a very close second.
didn’t he apologize somewhere and turned in his clothes to the goodwill?
I just had a brainfrt
Well, there’s a funny story about that- it seems that a female came in just mere moments after Willie gave the uniform to Goodwill and bought it
Its all LIES. His apology was probably written by his wife. Didnt detail the lies and although the uniform was given to Goodwill no medals or decorations and was immediately purchased by a woman.
This guy just wont give it up…
He/it is quite dedicated to being a sniveling, snotnosed, slovenly corpulent STOLEN VALOR COWARD for the rest of his parasitic life! I would laugh my ass off if someone found the Hooter’s franchise he frequents and put copies of his wanted poster up in it, and if I found out who did it and met them face to face, we’d go somewhere, and his or her bar tab would be on me!!
Here you go, guys and gals, the closest Hooters to Lenoir, NC. Maybe SJ can leave a few posters at the Hooters there after enjoying some hotwings…
Hooters of Hickory
1211 13th Avenue Drive, S.E.
Hickory NC, 28602
USA
828-324-5700
Do we have a real time update on his current location and activities?
Or has he crawled in to hole?
Combat Historian: I know where that Hooters is…go by it frequently. My Fiance won’t let me go there. I’m P. Whipped. I’ll plead that it is for a just cause and see if she’ll give me a 1 time pass.
MCPO: been looking and relatives (that live in his AO) are on alert but no sightings. That could be because they all work but not at the welfare office or Krispy Kreme.
Yup, you should get a one-time pass from the fiancee for this mission; tell her this is for TAH official business and that you’ll avert your eyes from the hooter bazingas and everything…
ROG all!
We should encourage all sightings to be posted here!
We did that to Banks in CT and he damn near pissed himself one day in DD when EVERYONE in the store just stared and pointed at him!
Damn, MCPO! I didn’t hear that story.
–break–
Hey Church! Everytime you pass someone who is laughing … you’re gonna think they are laughing at YOU — regardless if they’re not — you’ll think they are.
BWA-Hahahahahahahahahaha!
–ghp
We want to hear the rest of the story…so he’s been out and about?!?!?
Master Chief,
I hadn’t heard that one, either. You’d think that making the 6 o’clock news would have been enough to keep him locked down for a while.
I think she’ll go for it. Just printed out some more copies of the wanted poster and the Hooter pix. Maybe I can get a picture presenting it to the manager. May be the weekend since bad storm getting ready to dump on us. I’ll report back ASAP.
ROCK ON, SJ!!
Me and my mouth!! Just Kidding, SJ, I’ll make good on my promise to whoever executes that mission if we ever get to meet in person!
That would be AWESOME !!!!
Well, I hope the tub of shit has to have his head on a swivel wondering when someone is going to point him out or call him out in public. I wish I could be there to see that. I hope his heart skips a beat every time he hears a motorcycle coming down the street, wondering if it’s the boys and girls from the ALR, doing a victory lap past his place.
Not even his sockpuppets have been around lately. It seems even they are getting tired of lying for the turd.
Keep bringing the rain, folks. He deserves every moment of it.
I’m cleared Hot for Hooters by the boss but on a weather hold. She Who Must be Obeyed might have a lead since she and her kids went to West Caldwell also. Unlike the accused, they all graduated…with honors…and have successful careers.
Did we ever confirm that the hovel pictured on Streetview at 3367 Playmore Beach Rd is the Church Mansion? I mean, having a run down house is one thing but trash and junk in the yard is just trifling.
Woo hoo!!!! Go get ’em!
I told her EX-PH2 would chaperone the Hooters visit.
I CAN’T WAIT to hear the AAR on the mission!!
Answered my own question. A Goggle search comes up with Rotund Willie’s name for that property and also a Pamela Church. So, the Church clan has some stake in it so it seems. Lists phone number but I won’t go there. It’s funny how many hits point to TAH and Topix also from just a search on that address.
Its called “Yard Art” in our politically correct world.
Much success in your mission to Hooterville…
Next stop, Pettycoat Junction!
___( * )( * )___( ^)(^ )___( .)(. )_____
http://kaynou.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/petticoat.jpg
William Derek Church, Round Ranger Liar of Lenoir!
It seems you still haven’t managed to drag yourself out of that primordial swamp, huh?
Well with the weather its totally understandable.
So tell me you Pompous Pickle Poopyhead, what’s it like to always look over your shoulder and wonder who is laughing at you? Have you had enough yet?
Well this can all end Donut Boy, Hotwing Extraordinaire…Just film yourself turning in the two ton tillie clown suit and the bling, especially the Purple Heart to the nearest VFW and this can all go away…your choice doughboi…not a hard decision…
At this point it is no longer about the Apology or turning over his Military Costume. He was seen yesterday running around in his wanna be Paramedic Uniform. Church embroidered across the back of his hat, which I am sure has an 82nd Patch on the front.
Its more about Public Safety, this guy is obviously disturbed, he is trying to be the big man on campus strutting around like a peacock.
Keep posting those Wanted Posters, the entire town of Lenoir needs to know this guy is a Phony. It wont be long and he will be taking a vacation, that much I am sure of. Might not be a very nice place, but 3 meals a day and a bed is better than what some of our real Soldiers have while fighting overseas.
He’s playing paramedic again? Care to elaborate as to where etc…but maybe protecting sources. That is not wise. Those folks are local and can really put the hurt on him.
I’ll keep it confidential, but I guess he has to play dress up every where he goes. When you have the moral character of a jellyfish ( or the backbone ) I guess you have to try and be someone your NOT.
Everywhere he goes in public now people are reporting the sightings. I am sure the local authorities are keeping a close watch on him, its only a matter of time !
What I meant to say (as written it could be interpreted that I thought MSG was not wise…we know that isn’t the case):
He’s playing paramedic again? That is not wise. Those folks are local and can really put the hurt on him. Care to elaborate as to where etc…but maybe protecting sources.
SJ, hope the local weather there has cleared up; looking forward to your Hooterville mission AAR/hotwash…
Any sightings of him entering or exiting the gay massage parlor?
Or random trucks down at the interstate truck stop?
HERE IT IS, William Derek Church telling how he was a Ranger:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA7iAMTAWHM
And here he is with his “uniform turn in and apology” at the tail end!!
Church: you drop by the Crossroads Mart today? How about the Dollar General? Damn shame that the Chevron isn’t still selling gas at $1.50 or so as it says on the sign. I still can’t figure out where you live: the number posted elsewhere number is a garage/junkyard/shanty that you two live in? The neighbors on that road have nice looking places. They must love having you for a neighbor.
Hooters later this weekend.
I hope everyone remembered to change the clocks last night.
William Derek Church The Liar of Lenoir, Phony RANGER, AIRBORNE, SSG, COMBAT VET, VET, COMBAT MEDIC, PARAMEDIC, BRONZE STAR RECIPIENT, and PURPLE HEART RECIPIENT.
I bet you wish you could turn the clocks back to your wedding picture day, then you could have dressed up as something else, just as phony, but something else. Then you would be dealing with the wrath of True Veterans.
Lots of things happening behind the scenes right now, and the outcome will not be GOOD for William Derek Church. I believe you loose you Food Stamps while in Jail.
Helloooo Bloomer Boiee, William Derek Church, Liar of Lenoir!
Did you think we forgot you? Too bad..we didn’t..I haz a temporary condition of Teh Dumb today..I know its a condition you suffer greatly from permanently is this what you are claiming as your disability?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Church: ever visit Abeles in Morganton? Silly me, of course you have – they serve HUGE portions of tasty food at great prices. Lots of folks from Lenoir go there. Ever noticed the bulletin board they have inside at the entrance/exit? You should. Somehow there is a Wanted poster with your mug on it. Since there is always a long line, lot of folks were looking at it and shaking their heads. I overhead one gent say: “5 weeks of duty and he made E-6?” I took a picture of it if Jonn wants to post it.
Want to rethink arranging for a turn-over of your costumes? I’ll be in your grid square tomorrow.
Nice job SJ! Brought a smile to my face.
I just reported what I saw. Who knows who posted that there. It would seem that Church has a lot of eyes on him hear abouts.
Made my DAY !!!
SJ: Bravo Zulu! I want to see the “Wanted Poster in the Wild” photo …. pretty please????
–ghp
I posted the picture above for SJ.
Yaaaayyyyyy! Thanks Jonn!
–ghp
We need a Philo wanted poster.
GT,
Who’s Philo? So many unofficial nicknames abound~~
–ghp
ghp: “Phildo” is Philip Monkress.
Researching now.
–ghp
Perfect!!! The word is definitely getting out about Churchie poo.
AWESOME !!! They need to be plastered all over Lenoir. William Derek Church The Liar of Lenoir. You are becoming more famous everyday. Especially in your home town !! Your parents must be so proud !
Oh, yeah. On telephone poles, trees, his outhouse – assuming he has no indoor plumbing, and is too lazy to install it himself – and basically, on every available vertical surface.
Dear Churchie Poo,
You look even fatter in this new format.
Please clear away some of the garbage in your yard and lose a few pounds
My Daily Post for old William Derek Church .. He has a very big surprise coming his way very soon, I can hardly wait. Should make for some good headlines here on TAH !!!
Oooh OOOHHH Mr Kotter OOOhh OOOHHHH!!!!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8r80eK1I21qcw9y0o1_400.jpg
/can’t wait!
Article coming or someone is coming forth with pictures?
I’m happy to see that this individual is not being let go or allowed to fade away. He has no shame, no sense of decency, and no conscience. He’d steal pacifiers from babies if they were cookie-flavored.
Keep at it, Master Guns.
Church: you are probably looking here and thinking that TAH is now locked on Bernasty and you’re clear. El Wrongo. TAH has proven the ability to handle multiple targets…it is MIRV’d personified. Cut your losses. I have to leave Lenoir soon so your chances are dwindling.
In your 5 weeks of being on a morning report (I won’t dignify your tenure as “service”…just space taking) you didn’t have the chance to learn that MSG’s are forces to be reckoned with. I was a field grade officer but I didn’t dis senior NCO’s: I sought their counsel; I used it; it was always spot on; any success I had I owe to these NCOs. You have pissed off MSGretired and thus you have pulled on Superman’s Cape. You have crapped in your hat.
Coming up on last call bubba.
Thanks for the kind words SJ.
I think what really pisses me off the most is his total lack of respect for those who received the Purple Heart, and Displaying the 82nd Patch. I spent 5 years as a Paratrooper with the 82nd and Church is lower than the dog excrement you would scrape off your boot.
I wish a few of the Field Grades I served with had your insight. But I did always enjoy telling them ” I told ya so ” hehe.
I spent 4 with the 82nd, including vacation trips to Dom Rep and Hue-PhuBai. I was trained by SGM and 1SG that had gold stars on their wings. My Plt Sgt would say: “would the LT like for me to ….?”…something I had never thought of. I was trained well by these Troopers.
Agree on Church’s position in life. I’ve written letters home to Mom’s and Dad’s who never saw their son alive again.
How did they manage to get the thread taken off News Topix again?
It doesn’t show on the index but if you search for Church it comes up.
Thanks!! I live in lenoir and hope this disgusting lard gets every thing he deserves.
http://www.topix.com/forum/city/lenoir-nc/TNGEBD20QNGRBHOG7/p21
Here is a link to the current Topix Post.
His wife shouldnt be using work computers at Bayada to be cruising the internet and trying to stick up for her worthless Chubby Hubby. She may not be employed long.
Daily Post on Topix
Good Morning William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
Do you get up in the morning and pack the Dependapotamos a lunch for the day. Seeing as how she has more intestinal fortitude than you, and actually found a job ??
I guess you need the money to pay a Lawyer for a Disability Claim that will never come to fruition, but I am sure he or she is more than happy to take your money. If they are located in Lenoir you can rest assured they know o your LIES and PHONY Military Service.
Well if you did get up to make her a lunch, no worries as you will be able to lounge around the hovel the rest of the day.
Enjoy while you still have your Freedom !
MSGRetired: Rotund Willie or the Mrs is celebrating thinking the thread was removed from Topix. http://www.topix.com/forum/city/lenoir-nc/T876SFFQDGDPID2Q9#lastPost
His wife shouldnt be using work computers at Bayada to be cruising the internet and trying to stick up for her worthless Chubby Hubby. She may not be employed long.
William Derek Church is pathetic. He can’t even be a loser properly. All he did was open another thread where we can tell everyone of his lies.
Good Morning William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
So now that the Dependapotamous is working does this mean you will have to defend yourself during the day. What are you going to do when they come knocking on your door and you have no one but yourself to answer it. No one who will defend you when you are confronted with the TRUTH.
Time is running out, it wont be long. Hows that Phony Disability claim going for ya? Has your Lawyer dumped you yet?
Have a Nice weekend, and just remember we will not relent !
Posted on Lenoir Topix:
Frankly Opinionated said it very eloquently. Church has to know that I am a seasoned citizen that poses no threat.
I have told him to pick neutral grounds for him to surrender his ridiculous costumes, like the abandoned Chevron station a quarter of a mile down the road from the Church hovel. He hands me a bag – I leave. I open the bag and see if all of his swag, including the Purple Heart is in the bag. If it is, then I will report to TAH and we can move on to so many other posers. If Church leaves out of the bag swag like the Ranger plates, then, game on.
Welcome the participation of Lenoir EMT’s if you would like to be part of this costume exchange since he is dis’ing you also.
My Daily Church post from Topix
Well another work week starts for those who actually work, unlike our Hero William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
His wife is now employed, but I am sure that will only last long enough to qualify for unemployment benefits. There seems to be a trend with these two.
I hope that we hear some news this week on old Willie Boys Disability Claims, this should be interesting as Fat Dumb and Lazy is not a disability its a career choice in his case.
So have a lovely Day, and keep an eye out for the SUV with Govt plates they may be looking for YOU !
Terrible poser. Huge gut. Complete loser.
Simple and to the point!
Hey Churchie, CAP pretend LTC Chevalier is getting all your attention. Aren’t you a bit jealous?
NO, William Derek Church the roly-poly Round ranger, WE HAVE NOT forgotten about you, tried to hang out at the local Hooter’s lately? Someone MIGHT have posted a copy of your “Wanted” poster as well as given a few copies to the Girls there, one for their break room so they memorize your sniveling. slovenly,corpulent mug!!
Dang. I knew there was something I needed to do before we left. Willie: you see me parked at the abandoned gas station near Chez Church? When are you going to clean up that hovel? The Mrs is working and you are munching on Twinkies. Doesn’t that bother you. Hah…what a stupid question on my part.
If a Wanted Poster Mission is in the works, I suggest waiting until the first of the month to execute it. My Wife used to be a fast food franchise manager, and she said that the third day of the month was always the busiest because that’s when welfare and SSI checks go out!!
Hi Roly Poly Willie.
Just wanted to let you know you suck
Wonder what ol’ Will Chamberlain has been up to lately?
He’s enjoying life now that the dependapotomas is working. He doesn’t have to share that bag of Oreos now and the TV remote is all his.
So, Churchie poo. Enjoying life now, are you? But aren’t you regretting starting a second topix thread for us? I’l wager it’s a real bitch trying to be a super stealth ninja warrior©™ now that everyone knows you’re a fraud. Kinda makes that clown suit not seem so special, doesn’t it.
Willie, oh Wiiiiiiiiiillie … William Derek Church! Sooeee! Sooooooooooooooooeeee! Here piggy, piggy, piggy. Here’s a nice fresh, day-old creme-filled for ya. It’s only a little stale. Yer pie-hole won’t even know the difference.
Anyway, not too many donuts in the Graybar, so pig out now, while you still can!
I just had to dump the black tank on my RV. all that foul crap reminded me of William.
Daily Topix post, keeping the Google Monster Fed. Need to keep Church at the top of the search page!
Time for my daily post about William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient.
Every Day I make a post it just secures your future in the Google Hall of Fame. For years to come any one who ever Googles your name will see what a Fraud and Liar you really are. What do you think the kids will think when their teacher asks them to Google their names and their Mom & Dads name in class as a project. They do that in school now a days.
Well enough with making you infamous for the day. I have work to attend to, something you know nothing about.
Its throw back Thursday and I bet William Derek Church, The Liar of Lenoir. Phony Ranger, Airborne, Sniper, SSG, Combat Medic, Combat Vet, Vet, BSM and Purple Heart Recipient would like to go back to before his wedding picture day and take those pictures wearing something other than his clown suit.
I haven’t received any e-mails the last couple of days with sighting reports, my guess is our hero is staying I the hovel. Since he is now the Dependapotamous with his worse half working he doesn’t want to get caught in public. Not to mention it would probably be uncomfortable to walk into a local establishment to see his wanted poster on the wall.
The gears of justice grind slowly, but rest assured they are turning in the background.