Jerry Lee, the Queens NY SEAL
Don Shipley sends us this note;
Hello Guys… I have a new buddy, a corporate Head Hunter with access to job resume postings from around the world… He searches “Navy SEAL” and send them to me for verification… In the month we’ve been doing this he has sent me several HUNDRED resumes that are total fakes… I’ve sent the below clown to you.
Perhaps you can find something to post him on “This Ain’t Hell.” In my opinion, when they “Post Online” all their contact information seeking work then they should appreciate us posting their resumes in their entirety for the world to see and for others to contact them with job offers…
I’ve also attached Jerry’s picture. When I asked Jerry if he wanted to work for me as a SEAL Instructor he explained that he was VERY HAPPY at his new position working at Olive Garden…
You can’t make this shit up…
Cheers… Don Shipley…
Jerry Lee
518 Ruffner Street, Norfolk, Va.23504 757-724-4911
leejr.jerry@yahoo.comObjective
To obtain an entry level position with the opportunity for advancement and to utilize skills obtained from previous experience
02/12-03-12
Burger King, Norfolk, Va.
Greet customers entering establishment
Prepare food for customer orders
Maintain a neat and clean check out and dining area03/05/1980-03/04/2002
US Navy Seal US Navy, Queens,Ny
Conducted insertions and extractions by sea, air and land to accomplish covert, Special Warfare / Special Operations missions
Captured high-value enemy personnel and terrorists around the world
Collected information and intelligence through special reconnaissance missions
Carried out small-unit, direct-action missions against military targets
Performed underwater reconnaissance and the demolition of natural or man-made obstacles prior to amphibious landings
Supervised fifteen men in my unit ensuring accuracy of daily operationsOct 2009-April 2010
Cashier,McDonalds, Norfolk, Va.
Greet customers entering establishment
Prepare food for customer orders
Balance cash drawer on a daily basis
Receive payments from customers using cash or credit cards and ensured accuracy of customers change.
That’s quite a fall from a 22-year Navy SEAL to a fries jockey at Burger King. But at least he’s rockin’ that plum job at Olive Garden now. I didn’t even know that we had SEALs stationed in Queens. I’m sure Bloomberg doesn’t know either.
Category: Phony soldiers
I suppose he thought that a fast food career after the military instead of Wal Mart greeter would throw people off the scent.
A request has been submitted to the NPRC to see if this high speed burger flipper served at all…
http://scotty-stolenvaloroffendersexposed.blogspot.com/2012/10/jerry-lee-jr-navy-seal-poser-blog-of.html
Who else but a 22 year SEAL could manage to go from McDonalds fry cook to Olive Garden busboy in a mere 3 years? That type of dedication, skill, and go-getter attitude is precisely what makes SEALs one of the finest group of Special Operators in the world.
I for one fully believe his resume and am sure that there is not a single fabrication upon it!
SEAL? Not so much. more like a walrus.
Hondo, are you saying you read girlie romance novels?
I KNEW IT!!
HONDO READS HOUSEWIFE PORN!!!! (kidding)
Ex-PH2: I said I’d seen the covers, not wasted my time reading them. Spend any time poking around in second-hand bookstores and you can’t avoid them. (smile)
@46 Well that explains it all m’lady there was not much romance in that class and several of the women in that class had more hair than I did…,
Harlequin books? I’ve seen some of those books at the local bookstores and markets. I suspect the covers are far better than what’s written inside but I could be wrong there as well….I am certain I am not the demographic they seek.
Declining a noun, conjugating verbs, pluperfect…all very interesting at the time even if a bit painful. It’s funny how decades (many decades) later that well rounded education serves me in observing the present.
Obviously he is not a SEAL, He was part of the black ops group Salad Eating And Linguini Ingesting Overweight Numbnut Simpletons, or the SEA LIONS as they are known to the public.
@28
Actually I worked as a waiter while going to school after I got out. I got some snotty customers, to be sure, but the worst of them couldn’t say or do anything near what my Marine DI’s did in boot camp.
Well, you see, VOV, I have on my agenda my storyline for a ‘haunted romance’ (very popular to have a relationship with a ghost now) between a contemporary woman and the ghost of a centurion from the time of Antoninus Pius, the fellow who directed building the Antonine Wall — not to be confused with the wall built by that old geezer Hadrian.
And since I can’t seem to keep a plot simple, some of the speech has to be in Latin and some in Greek, and I’m none too sure how my two years of high school Latin in Mr. Dirksen’s class are going to hold out. But I shall endeavor to persevere. And I have a Greek immigrant friend who owns a restaurant a few miles from my house, plus my dad’s textbooks, so I’m sure he’ll be happy to educate me in the Greek language, or if he doesn’t have time, his wife Sofia (means wisdom in Greek). Very nice people. And because the internet gives ample room to people who want to do discovery, I found a site “romanarmy.com”, which is geared toward re-enactors who want everything to be just right, because no one will believe you know anything if you don’t know the bad words.
Oh, Hondo, do admit — you peeked. Uh huh.
“SEAL my a$$! A WALRUS maybe but no frickin’ way this lard a$$ was a SEAL!”
Bingo
Wimpy
Ass
Loser
Rotund
Useless
Shitbird
OK, Ex-PH2 – ya got me. Yeah, I peeked.
The display of classic “men’s magazines” in that second-hand bookstore was simply too much to resist. Hell, I could remember some of those when they were on newsstands the first time!
That is what you were talking about – right? (smile)
Hey you guys…he’s not fat. He’s up-armored!
No, PintoNag – he’s “plush upholstered”. With maybe some extra padding.
Let’s drop him in the sand in Afghanistan and tell him there’s a Big Mac waiting for him for every dead Taliban and Al-Q he comes up with.
The war would be over in a week.
That’s the best resume ever.
He makes me hungry.
Of course it was, Hondo.
@61 FMR PAO, to forkin’ good!
Queens Combat Diary:
There I was, on the 7 Train to Flushing when I received my frago from higher. SMEAC my ass. This was war, tell me who to kill and stand the eff back.
I promptly consumed my 4 cheese-covered Nathan’s hot dogs and zipped up my FUBU sweatsuit.
My objective: Liquidate a Slurpy at the 7-11 in Astoria.
I knew Astoria was a tough battle space, but nothing like Elmhurst where they still have cows and dairy farms. (I mean, how the hell am I supposed to consume mozzarrella sticks if they haven’t milked the dairy yet? How am I supposed to win this war anyway?)
I slung my Knicks gym bag over my shoulder and quickly encountered 42 Koreans in the next car. None of them spoke English. That’s when things got ugly.
Who the hell is Jeremy Lin anyway, and why was he not mentioned in my intel report?
(To Be Continued)
I found out that he does have a tattoo. It reads “Semper Esurientem”. I will defer to Veritas Omnia Vincit to translate.
Hack, it means “always hungry” in Latin.
You are correct, Ex-PH2. His personal philosophy is that he never met a meal that he didn’t like.
@71 dude, you’re killing me here….
When he talks about being at Pork Chop Hill, he is actually referring to fighting his way through the buffet line.
Jerry Lee always practices “safe snacks”. He carries condiments in his wallet.
Hack, next thing you’ll want to call him is “Obesus Futuere”
it translates roughly as “Obese Intercourse” or Fat F@ck
@63, Up-Armored? Hell, you could wrap his ass in chicken wire and call him Hesco.
Hamburger Hill was his happy place where he single-handedly defended his pile of quarter-pounders from a busload of touring senior citizens armed only with his trusty fry-o-lator.
Sheyit! Neither he nor his friends that I alerted to the post have come out of the woodwork? How majorly depressing.
@81
He’s still struggling to reach the keyboard. Anyway, those double whoppers aren’t going to eat themselves.
Is that resume off Duffel Blog? The spelling and grammar seem to good for your average ex-SEAL/McDonald’s greeter (no offense).
@ 70 and everyone else … this is a serious blog site for budding comedians. Crap … this is funny sh*t!
BTW … the two top dogs at NSW were handed a copy of Don Shipley’s referral and the resume today at lunch. They got a great kick from it!
They are in town for the commissioning!
It’s glandular so lighten up. I also hear that he’s been constipated since he was 11. Every damn thing he ate since then is in there somewhere.
@85
So, what you’re saying is the guy’s full of shit. Well I think we all knew that. :p
What does “glandular” mean?
Is that French or something?
@87. It is frequently mistaken for French, MCPO, but, actually, it’s Old English for lardass.
@86. I was trying to be delicate.
I’m a Marine. You gotta spell shit out for me sometimes.
Poor sap decided to ring out of Burger King after only one month.
Okay, Nik, shit is spelled merde in French, mierda in Spanish, and merda, stercus or caco in Latin, and scheisse in Deutsch sprechen.
You could say “Was mach ich hier mit diesen fiesen hirnlosen sheissvogel?” or use sheisskopf, if you prefer.
“I have a quaalude and some wine for you” is the language of Roman Polanski.
I knew merde (Thank you Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure for that one).
I don’t habla espanol, but mierda looks like it makes sense.
Ditto that for Merda. I’m gunna guess caco = caca.
I knew scheisse (though I never learned how it was spelled) because when I was in College, I played chess with this guy at lunch. Usually he cleaned my clock, but toward the end, we started getting pretty even. Eventually I asked him what schiesse meant, since he said so much.
From there, I made up my own compound German-English word. “Schiesse-Noggin”. Or…shithead.
This conversation took a big ol’ left turn, huh? I really like how they try to fill the unemployment gap with something amazing like SF, instead of something believable like GSE or tracks. Its like they don’t even try.
@ 96, I agree!
Okay, all of you KNOCK IT OFF right now!!! Beer costs money and my nostrils are sore from all the beer shooting through them. Not to mention the damage that my key board, lap top and iPad have endured!?
I must admit, this is one pathetic sum bitch! My Marine recruit training taught me to never quit until I could say “mission accomplished, aye aye sir”. After my discharge I slept an average four hours a night for four years while completing my degree. There was never any doubt that I wouldn’t accomplish my ‘mission’. This POS rat bastard sure ain’t Navy and sure as hell ain’t no SEAL! Oh, by the way, I want more bread sticks, lard a$$.
Hehehehe, I just called his number again today. He answered ans as soon as I told him that I was calling about a post at This Ain’t Hell, the sissy hung up. Doesn’t even have the balls to have a phone conversation, the phony cockmuncher.
DING DING DING DING ****100 **** … This dirt sucking sludge bucket is a player for next years competion.
Not wanting him to miss out on the fun here, I sent him this E-mail:
Jerry Lee:
You call yourself a Seal, when the Real Deal guys know that it is SEAL and not Seal. Also, SEAL types have a pair of balls, you do not. You don’t even have guts enough to have a phone conversation, you phony sissy bitch. I just wanted to let you know that we have your name up in lights for all the world to see at “This Ain’t Hell” blog. Get someone with balls, perhaps your girlfriend, to come over to this link and check out what we have to say about you. Come on over, don’t wet your pants, we can’t reach through your monitor and grab you. http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=32255