Joe Anan; BS story in The Guardian
There is this guy who calls himself Joe Anan. Clearly, looking at the name tag in the picture above, that wasn’t his real name. I’ve seen his BS floating around social media for several months in several of the groups that I monitor – one is the group of the Infantry Battalion that I served with in Desert Storm – 1st Battalion 41st Infantry of the 2nd Armored Division (Forward). This fellow (whatever his name is) claims that we left him out in the desert to fend for himself for three months after Desert Storm. He took his fantasy to The Guardian that was more than happy to print his BS. His claim is that he was assigned to our Support Battalion. After Desert Storm, we ran a screen between the Iraqi Army and the fleeing Shi’ites. Some of our companies built refugee camps for the Shi’ites. ANyway, here are snippets of “Joe’s” story;
Then word reached us that a soldier in the Rafha refugee camp run by the US army, in northern Saudi Arabia, needed help: he’d been operating a fork lift for weeks and was desperate for a break. It was only for three days, so I offered to cover.
We flew there in a helicopter and, as I climbed out, the guy I was replacing ran past me and jumped in, saying, “See you, buddy!” Three days later, there was no sign of him. I couldn’t check where he was with my superiors, because I had no walkie-talkie or mobile. Everything in the military is on a need-to-know basis, so I didn’t question it – I was 22 at the time.
Who calls them “walkie-talkies”? Anyway, he claims that he had a few months of MREs, a forklift and a tanker full of fuel. Initially, he was a few hundred yards from a two thousand man unit (yeah, that’s about the size of an infantry battalion) led by a single lieutenant. One morning “Joe” woke up and they were all gone – he hadn’t heard two thousand people leaving in the middle of the night.
So, Joe, where did the refugees go? That was the reason that we were in Rafha – to house Iraqi refugees. By the way, Joe, Rafha is in Saudi Arabia, not Kuwait, no wonder you were lost.
Anyway, he claims that he had enough fuel that for three months he went out driving his forklift looking for American units. Until one fateful day;
One morning, I was out driving and thought I saw a sandstorm coming, but knew that it was far too early. I swerved to the left of it and drove as fast as I could.
Then I realised [sic] it was a convoy of trucks with two tanks. One fired a warning shot at me, but I kept going. As they got closer, a man shouted, “Man, where the hell did you come from?” I said, “I’ll tell you, just get me out of here first!”
Tanks just drive around the desert firing warning shots at anything that moves, I guess. I didn’t know that tanks had “warning shot” rounds. And what’s that BS about being “too early” for a sandstorm? I didn’t know they only happened at certain times of day.
It turned out I’d lost track of time: they told me it was May; I’d been alone for three months.
Eventually, I rejoined my unit in northern Germany. When I stepped through the door, one of the guys fell to the floor in amazement – he thought he’d seen a ghost. Most of them thought I had died.
I was still in Saudi Arabia in May, too – I’d stayed behind to ship our Bradleys back to Germany when our humanitarian mission had ended, but I’d never heard anything about Joe Lost Boy being found.
No one has taken responsibility for abandoning me, and there was no investigation. So much for the army adage, “We never leave a soldier behind.” I originally joined the army because I had been abused as a child, and I wanted to prove to myself no one could hurt me again, and that I could protect people. I now know no one can break me, but I will never get over feeling utterly abandoned.
On his Facebook page, he claims that he’s finding proof that his Lieutenant left him behind on purpose as “an act of revenge” for something. Sounds plausible – the Army doesn’t have layers of records to track personnel. They can just drive off and leave them.
Even if they did want to leave him to die, some clerk would have gotten antsy about a forklift and a tanker truck that was with him, wouldn’t they? That’s accountable property that someone would have to pay for.
Of course, now he’s saying that he was only missing for three weeks, not three months, you know because our group is calling BS on him in contradiction to what he told The Guardian. I saw a lot of stupid BS go on in 1/41, the 498th Support Battalion and 2d AD, but I would never accuse them of leaving a private in the desert to fend for himself. I have no proof that it didn’t happen, but he doesn’t any proof that it did happen either.
So, now he’s claiming that he went back to Garlstedt with 1/41 Infantry rear detachment that shipped their Bradley fighting vehicles back to Germany after the war. i was the NCOIC of that detail and he wasn’t attached to us. After that lie was exposed, he said he was attached to a Marine Corps unit guarding their swimming pool. The Marines wouldn’t let the Army use their swimming pool because we wouldn’t give them a detail to clean up after them – and we weren’t there to swim.
Category: Dumbass Bullshit
He should have offered some of his abundance of fuel to an unnamed ‘x-lawer’ in Florida.
” … because I had been abused as a child …”
Oh, man, you don’t have a clue the amount of abuse heading your way.
So, he gets to relive his childhood now.
Well, at least all these years later he is still rocking that 670-1 stache…
With that stache and the stare it says “hey sailor, new in town?”
What a polesmoker
Lmao! This is Brian Culp quality bullshit! I guess he kept a pallet of MRE’s on the forklift for his journey.
This dude leveled up the stolen valor skill set a notch above your typical Seal or Ranger stolen valor.
Maybe he should indeed be dropped off in the desert and left to die…
He says he had a tanker full of fuel. How did it follow him? Was he pulling it through the sand with the forklift?
Yeah, he’s a moron.
I think he drove the forklift a few hundred yards. Parked it. Walked back to the fuel truck. Drove up to the forklift, and repeated that process over and over.
I wonder if he happens to remember the Lt’s name. I’d think that would be the first step towards proof for him.
Well, we have a choice between Mu’aDib or Biggs. Carry on!
Who changes their last name to their wife’s family name? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that before. I’m sure it’s done in some culture.
It is very common in European countries. What is interesting to me is that the name change was done post marriage. A simple Google search reveals his wife used Anan-Sellers in the past. I believe the rule in Germany is that you must choose a “family name” and it can’t be two names unless you already used two names. Then, it must be hyphenated. But I could be wrong.
That makes sense because I gather he lives in Germany presently. His wife has hinted that she was a vet, but I don’t think so because it wasn’t enough of a statement that she can’t back out of it. Who knows.
Seen it once. Wife’s last name was Rockefeller and he thought it would help his real estate business
First- ignore the report clicked on this… I fat-fingered my phone.
Second, he does remember the Lt’s name- Smith…….
Well, that should narrow it down. How many Lt Smith’s could there be in the US Army?
Nobody cared about some enlisted Joe that was unaccounted for 3 months or 3 weeks? LCpl Jason Rother was missing for 40 hours before his battalion was made aware. 3 courtsmartials and relief of BN CO and XO also career ender for MajGen Deegan the Base CG of 29 Palms. Maybe the Army would not take an incident like this as seriously as the Marines did, but I find that highly suspect.
As well as the Company Commander, Platoon Commander, 1st Sgt and Platoon Sgt if I remember correctly?
I knew Jason, meeting him in 1986 while on recruiting assistance in Minneapolis, I was a Korean linguist and he was interested in the field and DLI. In 1987, I was back at DLI for Intermediate Korean an PFC Rother checked in for Russian. After the holiday break, he was dropped from his school and sent to SOI to become a grunt. In September we were interviewed by the FBI about his disappearance because he was cleared for TS/SCI (not read in) and vanished with his weapon. Long story short, there is zero chance that some knucklehead would have been allowed to remain missing for months without a hint of justice or media outrage. Jason’s story was widespread and he was on the cover of Time magazine, a whole 3 years before Desert Storm.
His story is still well known throughout the Marine Corps and was part of the welcome aboard at the stumps in 2004.
It was, I was Coyote 34A from 2002-04, we had to be fully briefed on the “Rother Incident”. Colonel Taylor (Coyote 6) the director of TTECG was stunned that I actually knew him. Rother’s Crossroads was a key training location for CAX.
Fitting I tell this story on Memorial Day. RIP and Semper Fi to LCpl Jason Rother and Col Taylor.
I remember that… there was part of my check in the first time at the ‘Stumps that was brief that reviewed the incident. Still talked about when I retired from there in ’08.
Every time we went to the field, we talked about this… and brought everyone back out after an exercise.
Here’s a link to the story…
https://www.mca-marines.org/gazette/2014/06/story-failed-accountability
I remember that incident. I still can’t figure out how it happened. I spent a few months at 29 Palms during CAX’s and can assure you the warm bodies were diligently accounted for. I tried to leave a Captain from Weapons Company but he kept finding his way back….
“I have no proof that it didn’t happen”
Apart from firsthand knowledge of the subject matter that proves Joe Whiner is full of shit. And common sense. And the ability to differentiate reality from the kind of shit that would appear in a particularly-crappy B-movie. I’ve never been in the Army, but even I know that two hundred guys is (with exceptions) more than a lieutenant is generally supposed to run, so two thousand is obvious horseshit. And of course, if I were running a tank that was just inexplicably wandering the desert and came across a guy dicking around with a forklift, shooting the main gun at him would ABSOLUTELY be my first impulse (/sarc). Plus the decidedly questionable nature of nobody accounting for personnel and equipment (although I definitely agree that the forklift was more valuable to the Army than this asswipe, and rightly so).
Of course, the Guardian thinks that the wannabe-eunuch Bradley Manning is some kind of authority on military affairs and foreign relations, so it’s no surprise that those retards bought it hook, line, and sinker.
I’ve seen Abrams hit a moving target while traveling at 50 mph and taking a hill over rough terrain during training. I doubt that they’d miss a forklift while running across relatively flat land while the target is traveling nearly parallel to them.
Here’s his response to the article…
and a secondary.
The problem is, I did ask him some questions, I met with the cricket chorus. He responded by deleting the conversation.
Well, he tagged four people IIRC in the conversation going on right now on his Facebook who he says can verify his claims – whether it remains or not will depend on how kind the people who visit there to talk to him remain.
Real name was Sellers if that helps matters at all…
You got a contact e-mail for him? Seems I’ve got him ready to open dialogue, which is either going to vet his story or fuck him into the dirt. If you want to continue this.
Could also just head over to his Facebook page and reply to the comment I already made as Jason David Anderson.
Ask him if he was posted to Arrakis or Tattooine.
Maybe next he’ll claim to have been abandoned on Hoth.
And he made the Kessel Run in his forklift.
And then he fetched up on LB247, after refueling with that big ol’ fuel tanker he was dragging around with him.
Jason – Take a look at the LinkedIn information for Joseph Sellers-Anan. He writes for some entertainment blog which also has a Facebook page. He wants to channel all communications onto his personal Facebook page where unwanted facts may be deleted. The world does not work that way as he’s finding.
I love this guy’s story. It is so sad… wandering around on a forklift, lost in the desert, never once coming across a vagrant camel, a wandering Bedouin or chancing upon a camel. This is Abbot & Costello reinvented. Did he come across any sandworms while he was there? Or Fremen? Spice miners? How come he didn’t see the ‘vaporators on the horizon? Or the double sun setting?
He should bump up the collateral just a bit. His creative juices are mostly flowing out of him at the urinal.
Here’s a little soliloquy for him.
https://youtu.be/1gpXMGit4P8
He was enslaved by the Sand People, until his daring escape! Good thing the Army trained him in Special Forces Forklift Combat!
So…. he had to clean up after the Banthas!
Ah, THAT’S why he needed the forklift. Banthas do create HUGE piles of digested fodder for disposal.
A Herclean effort, cleaning the Bantha stables… if only there had been a river handy to sweep them clean.
Combining Star Wars and Greek mythology. I’m impressed.
“As I told them my story, we passed the white bones of a camel.”
I found the story about the bones of a camel to be a nice touch.
Does this guy have any idea the shitstorm of inquiry coming from the Army about his claims? If true, he pretty much threw those senior to him under the bus. I do believe he has no idea the ramifications of his allegations. He better hope they are true.
Jonn, my first thoughts were that you were spoofing us.
From the way the turd look with that cock-sweeper ‘stache I’m betting he doesn’t pass up too mant “bones”. UknowwatImean?
The crazy train arrived tres early in the station this morning…
Stick around, CH. There is much to be discover in this one. I do not think he knows about the Force just yet.
It’s not even good fiction. What a jackass. Damn krauts will fall for anything. The Guardian bizarre photo–the one where Sellers/Anan/Asshole is standing a bridge or overpass is by a German chick who lives in Munster and the tall tale is “As told to Kate Connolly” who is the Guardian’s Berlin correspondent. So, you figure it out. I can’t.
Cocksucker.
He stood guard duty around the clock, w/o relief–in a forklift! I guess he had abandoned his post at some point, which explains how he failed to see 2,000 troops pull out of the area. The best line served up is that he says he had only three–maybe four–MONTHS of food. I guess he severely rationed himself. What a guy!
Yeah, but who did his laundry? Where’d he buy bottled water? How many imaginary friends did he encounter while he was wandering, alone and lost?
Details! Details are important!
I would like to link him up with the truck driver from the 498th that has the CIB from his service in desert storm. The CIB was used as his combat stressor by the VA so he could get 100% disibility
The General’s SFC RTO got one for pulling radio watch at G-4. I almost punched him in the teeth one night at the club. You know the night, you were there, I was a handful that night.
I believe Jack Daniels was also with us that night
I everyone here thinks I’m crazy. But I’ve seen this turds story before while I was in Germany. I’m doing my homework. But this is not he first rodeo with a Bullshit story
Spelling is off today as always. But I think he was on the 2ACR Page claiming a bunch of crap about the old border cav. I’m looking a buddy from the 11 ACR vet page remembers his bullshit story’s but it’s been awhile the picture is the giveaway. I do believe this POS is a attention whore
I’m talking and not looking holy crap I’m off today ???
Well, he just f***ed up. he says that he linked up with the 1/41 detail that was shipping their Bradleys back to Germany. Guess who was the NCOIC of that detail.
I will take a stab, you were the NCOIC of that detail?
Yeah, now he says that it happened in July after finding out that I was there during his May time frame. Funny how the goalposts keep getting further down the field.
I noticed his wife has chimed in over on his Facebook “desert storm” page.
Ummm… It was Han Solo, right? No?
Oh, dear. I think someone should tell this poor thing that he should just get off this pony before it bucks him off.
Me thinks it’s to late ????
Lando led that detail… Han was frozen at that time.
Laughing so hard that it probably startled PH’s cat, all the way over there >—->
wherever there is.
Yes, you did wake him out of a perfectly good nap.
Wow… the boy is really stuck on stupid!
So, I guess he doesn’t realize that NCOICs frequently talk to each other?
Teh stoopid is STRONG with this one.
If you are reading this, Annan, drop the whole thing. You have bitten off far more than you can chew.
That noise you hear is me and a large group of other people laughing ourselves silly.
I like how now he claims that LT Smith (?) took off in his hmmwv with his TA-50 and rifle for five days, leaving him a spec4 to be chosen by a convoy of 14 trucks to lead them back to the BN. And personally questioned about his missing LT my the XO
DAMN, I wonder if he’ll go full Bernath with his shit?
Never go Full Bernath.
Doh.
The Guardian really likes to run these kinds of stories because there’s no downside. If Anan’s story is false, it just proves that the American military is full of crazy-ass liars and posers; if his story is true, it shows the American military is perfectly willing to abandon its troops in a combat zone, and even threaten a poor hard-working forklift driver with getting blasted by a tank.
Either way, it’s a chance for the Guardian to keep the chaps in jolly old England informed about how those nasty colonials are acting up again.
Hold up a second. Where have we seen proof that this doofus was in the military at all? Sure, the Guardian story is false, but I’m not about to assume that this dumbass simply embellished some less dramatic military service.
Point taken. On the other hand, reading some of the comments on the Guardian story might give a different conclusion about what their average reader is likely to assume.
With all due respect to you, Perry, I do not give one flying fuck what Guardian-reading degenerates think about damn near anything.
So I figured it out ?
I know a few folks over in Germany and it seems ??? story isn’t even believed over there
Maybe it’s time for him to wake up and stop it with the BAT-SHIT CRAZY STORY TELLING…
This guy is full of it. We worked all over tearing camps down for Marines and Army and we would have found some ass out by his self and the other thing is what about PERSSTAT reports that have to be sent up higher every day. You would think that some NCO and Officer would notice that they had one guy by his self. This guy is living in his own world.
Well, Chief, he was out looking for his pet sand spider when all of youse guys pulled out and left him there all by his lonesome.
His pet Camel Spider, Ya I could see that and or scorpion.
Found it!
https://youtu.be/_k5j6IuHGxA
Could be sand fleas
…or camel crickets.
Man, I’ve seen some BS stories, but this one is just ridonkulous. I can’t believe the level of gullibility on the part of some of the FB folks that are sticking up for this guy’s detritus.
I have stuff to do, like cleaning out the fridge. I could pack that up and send it to him in a care package, couldn’t I? But I digress.
I hope he’s reading this, because I was trying to come up with someone who was dumber than a smoked ham sandwich glazed with road tar, and he is, by golly, the perfect model for it. He should just go on spinning his tales. The taller they grow, the further he has to fall.
A piece of advice, Hannah, or Anna or whatever your name is: don’t mess with Jonn Lilyea or the rest of the people here on TAH, unless you WANT to be famous for being the biggest walking advertisement for birth control on this planet – or any other planet, either.
Threats are next, right?
Better watch out, TAH readers! The wife is now involved in defending her poor, traumatized husband!
We’re screwed Now!!!
:-p
I guess it’s time for me to blow-up the Bathroom I’m soooooo scared I have to take a crap Lol….
Typical Turd B.S. Right out of the Book
What?? ‘Wife’? Oh, it’s the next part of the playbook. Sorry. I forgot.
This is from his FB page, about the mysteriously unknown LT:
Joe Anan – Veteran
Joe Anan – Veteran Lt Smith, he was my Platoon Leader Bravo 498th – Engineers Platoon. I did not know his 1st name , he came to Garlstedt around 1990 – Cpt Conn was our Company Commander LT was very tall – dark hair
· 4 hrs
Jerry Harris
Jerry Harris Wow. No charges were filed on the Lt.?
· 4 hrs
Joe Anan – Veteran
Joe Anan – Veteran well, before the war was over , I was asked by Cpt Conn to drive the Lt to our previous staging area to recover some documents for a container.
And the drivel goes on after that, getting deeper and deeper.
Wow-Lt. Smith, huh? And he doesn’t know his first name-won’t be hard to track him down :rolleyes
I’m surprised he didn’t say the man’s name was Manny Manerson.
LT Smith should be easy to find. How many could there be?
(Falls down laughing.)
At least he didn’t say SGT Nguyen.
There were 3 in my last NG unit, alone. There was also two SPC Nguyen and a PFC Nguyen. Top used to joke that 1st and 2nd PLT were a Nguyen Nguyen scenario (both PLT SGTs were Nguyen).
Try Kelly or Kelley, and my favorite Gonzalas
LMAO !!!!!!
I might believe it halfway if he’d used a name like Rzezckowski of Morris – two guys I knew who went off to Viet Nam.
But then, those are real names, not quite so common.
But Ol’ Joe here will retort that it’s actually Smithfield, or Smythe, or Smittowski, and he just fergot that there real name, y’see.
If LT smith left me in the desert…I’d have found out his first name and other information post haste for the goddamned charge sheet, likely after I found him and stuck my boot in his ass.
and this long afterward Joe still doesn’t know? da fukk Joe?
What IDC said.
And he says that LT Smith was already pending court-martial at the time. If so, why on earth wouldn’t have contacted the authorities and say “and here’s what he just did to me!” If Smith really was pending court-martial, Anan would have found a very receptive audience.
No, according to his FaceBook page, the Lt was pending a “court marshall”.
So they were gonna give him a badge and have him provide courtroom security. Dang, my bad! 😉
Wait! I think I know one of those places he’s been deployed and forgot about. It was when he accompanied John ‘3 PHs) sKerry to that fabled land, Kyrzakistan.
I remember it well. It was a Tuesday…
Granted, I wasn’t an engineer, but I’ve never seen anyone use that nomenclature when referring to a platoon. Typically it would be B/498 EN; B Plt, 498 EN; or Bravo Platoon, 498th Engineers.
Cue up the Tammy Wynette. “Stand By Your Maniac”.
What kind of additional horror could he have suffered? It couldn’t have been as bad as the time I got left behind in the jungles of Paprika. YEAH NO SHIT, THERE I WAS…
Honestly I don’t think I would have been traumatized by that as much as I would be talking smack about it for the rest of my life. That’s like Castaway Desert Storm style.
I wasn’t deployed to Iraq with my unit, but I spent a day or two with them every month. There was an accountability formation every morning, every afternoon, and every evening. If you were not in the formation, and your name wasn’t tagged as being on a patrol or other duty, then there were immediate calls all the fuck around the green zone to find your ass. By the time the one guy got out of the shitter and to formation, a fucking General knew his name. Period. When I arrived in country, my unit was informed and my name was put on the board and tagged as ‘in-transit.’ When I was with the unit, my name was on the board and I had to make every fucking formation. When I was en route back to the airport, my name was tagged ‘in-transit.’ When I arrived at the airport, my unit was informed and my name was removed from the board (I was the airport’s problem). At no point was any single Joe ever missing unless they were actually fucking missing. I saw names that had been handed to other units for detail list what units they were handed to, what the detail was, and when they were to return. There were even notes about when the last time the Joes had checked in with their unit. Those units were called just after formation for check-in on our Joes. “Everything in the military is on a need-to-know basis, so I didn’t question it” Really, douchecanoe? That’s what someone says who never spent a single day in the military, you flaming crotch ferret. Guard rotations are fucking posted for everyone and their momma to see, to include alternates in case the guard is unable to make their rotation. Hell, just setting foot on a helicopter requires you to go through at least four levels of preparation, to include making sure your unit knows where you are going, what you will do when you get there, and how you are getting home afterwards. I’ve never been kept in the dark about ANY… Read more »
Word.
I got nothing….
-that- was -impressive-
Or of Bernath practicing law on the Left Coast.
Oh, I am totally convinced THIS story is real. I also believed that unicorns fart rainbows.
I thought that they farted Skittles and shit rainbows?
And piss glitter.
OMG…I’m reading the supporters on the Guardians website.
These people are the reason scammers keep on finding sukkers to give them money, it’s just amazing.
motards will believe anything
I’m sure he has a strong following from Jimmy Walls” koolaid drinking legion. If he sticks around long enough PV9 Gainey may come galloping over the hill to his aid.
The truth is even stranger than any of us can imagine. You see, the truth is that Peter Sellers did not actually die in 1980. No, he faked his death as part of an elaborate ruse to meet his estranged American son-Joseph Sellers. In order to do this he moved to Saudi Arabia and engineered the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, knowing that his son would one day join the U.S. Army and be deployed in response to the invasion.
When young Joe arrived in country Peter contacted him and convinced him to leave his unit so that they could get to know each other. But it wasn’t long before Peter realized that he had made a horrible mistake-his son was a total oxygen thief and he wanted nothing to do with him. “Boy,” said Peter, “return to the U.S. and never use the name ‘Sellers’ again or else I will see to it that you never get a cent from my estate.”
Joe reluctantly agreed, but did not know what to do about having deserted his unit. Peter, not really caring what happened to this obvious dolt, agreed to use his influence to forge records to show that the boy had been admitted to a military hospital for treatment for psychotic delusions (that would be easy enough for most people to believe) before himself going off to become a director of Lebanese music videos.
Joe, of course, blew thru the money that Peter left him and so he dreamed up this story about being left behind by his unit so that, when he suddenly “discovers” his ties to Peter he will have some public sympathy when he makes a claim on the great comedian’s remaining estate.
NOTE: the above is satire and fiction-but the guy is a lying POS and this story is as believable as his.
Actually much more believeable than his story.
If it actually did happen, my opinion of lieutenants has gone up.
Sellers, eh? With a ‘stache like that, are you sure he isn’t named Peter Jr?
“My face! You’ve stolen my face! Give me back my face, you fiend!” –Inspector Jacques Clouseau
Joseph Anan Sellers aka Uptown Joe.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce4z9oXl65g&w=420&h=315%5D
I was gonna say that he’s a bullsh*t artist, but there’s no artistry in his line of crap.
The first comment I came across on Joe’s page had me laughing, coughing, and spitting pop, Joe’s story is as watertight as a chickenwire canoe.
I saw that and laughed my ass off!
Uptown Joe is MIA and has left his wife to defend his bullshittery.
MIA? Yeah, it’s what people like him do.
His Facebook page was created last month. The heading says that he’s a “Public Figure”. Public figure, huh? Looks like he’s becoming one – just not in the way that he’d probably hoped.
Well maybe if he’d look and do his homework then he’d understand tall tells and stolen valor are a NO-GO… nowadays but it looks like he didn’t do his homework
https://www.facebook.com/groups/252085314435/
Joe’s all over this FB page…I don’t see a word about his claims that he was abandoned though.
I wonder why? lol
Uptown Joe is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
One of the photos he uploaded shows he is a member of Veterans for Peace. Speaks volumes…
Of COURSE he is! They are filled with fools, lunatics, and assorted defectives. Maybe that’s why some of us refer to them a “Idiots for Peace.”
Well hes an idiot for volunteering to go to Rafha. That’s where I was from January to March. Seriously though, who can actually believe this? Three months of food and fuel, a fork lift, and a dipshit missing and no one said anything?
And wandering the desert for three months….did he escape the pharoah?
You could at least give a spew alert…..waste of a perfectly good beer.
Oh, but you’ve missed the real point: no one said anything about him because he wasn’t really there.
He just thinks he was there, and like any other delusional attention hound, he’s convinced himself that, in his teensy weensy little mind, he really was there — which explains why he woke up one morning and suddenly remembered that he was there. He explains it all in this passage.
Jonn Lilyea: Why didn’t you answer my questions last night in the 1/41 group? Instead of answering, you deleted the conversation. Your story makes no sense. When we left Rahfa, there was a formal turn over of the refugee camp to our allies. It didn’t happen in the middle of the night. And where did the refugees go? We hadn’t even left SA in May, so how do you figure that you were left behind? I’m not expecting answers, you aren’t smart enough to answer any of them.
Joe Anan – Veteran: Jonn Lilyea man you just dont stop. I was a guard there usually in the mount at the far left . Just find out who was there from May 1991 – They even tried to give me an article 15 for not firing on a van that had an American Band which the van lost its breaks and I stopped my guard partner from firing because I could see the brake lights flickering. Then later again when they sent me on R&R but still kept me on the guard roster then again when I did not know the Marine´s General Orders. I have experienced alot in my life and guys that have thick heads and are narrow minded like you . Its a shame how bad you are treating me but I only feel empathy for you and your blindness.
Oh, dear Lord, have mercy! How is it possible for so much stupid to reside in a single individual?
It does burn, does it not?
Wait, they check General Orders of other military branches and use article 15’s to punish people who don’t know it? Yeah, that sounds very legitimate.
Also, if the van had an American band in it why did they not also have the USO escort? Was it just a lone van wandering the desert for three months like in an episode of Josie and the Pussycats?
Waaay too many nuts in this boy’s granola bar.
The Fuck Apple Sparkle Pony is really digging in on FB lol…Seems his Swamp Donkey wife is having to defend him and eluding to perhaps she might be a Vet… I think we need to file FOIA’s on both their pineapple asses…
Here’s his FB’s
https://www.facebook.com/joe.anan.the.great
https://www.facebook.com/joe.anan.veteran/
Pretty funny shite 😀
What a surprise the D-Bag has multiple FB Accounts
Uptown Joe either blocked or deleted the “joe anan the great” profile.
I got in. Its still up.
He could have made some bucks selling surplus fuel to an x-lawer I know. Seems he had an abundance of it. Wonder how he was able to operate the forklift and fuel truck while hauling the chow around the desert? I doubt he understands the shitstorm he has created.
According to a history of the gulf war by BG Scales titled Certain Victory the 2nd ACR was still around until at least May 1991 building the Rahfa III Camp which was taken over by the Saudis that month. Joe Anans claim of being left in March or April (he keeps changing dates and timelines) doesn’t square with the events. Keep in mind that both camps are only 20 km’s from Rahfa City and the airport. Oh those pesky facts.
Forgot to add there was a road linking them all. Wouldn’t want this guy leading me on a land nav course…..
He’d be worse than a one-eyed lobotomized 2LT on LSD!
He seems to be counting on uninformed people that think that area is shifting sand and Bedouins, devoid of hardball and road signs. Not to mention that the US Army operates sans maps and communications and expects people to operate alone with no means of accountability.
True. The history I read has a map that clearly shows a hardball road linking all three camps to Rafha City. It also mentions that the roads were asphalt and in good condition.
I guess Uptown Joe is like Doc Brown in Back to the Future. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads”.
Well I think it’s time to post this on the 2 ACR/CR site and see if this jogs anyone memories
I did on another site and every one thinks he NUTs and trying to sell a book my German friends think he and his bullshit story are crazy
My bad, I typed 2ACR, should have typed 2AD. They built Rahfa II and Rahfa III camps. There were 20,000 refugees sent there in April and May 1991.
Either way, the guy is full of shit saying he drove miles and miles each day and couldn’t find anyone.
How the hell do you miss the gravel road that leads you out?
We had a Build team of 10 that went up and completed two K-SPAN’s 1 at each camp around May as we wear retrograding out other units.
Yep, according to the official history I cited Rafha II was filled by May and Rafha III was built as a temporary camp for refugees for processing.
Spearhead amourd division good ole 2AD gone before my time in
After all this time he comes out with an interview and a public figure Facebook page- it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a book to sell, or at least a proposal for one.
Probably does. My ???
90 days. No mention of a water source. Figure he needs 90 gallons of water for drinking minumum. Thats 16 water cans plus 180 meals, minimum. 15 cases of MREs.
Uptown Joe is a bad-ass who survived off of one canteen of water and 3 MREs during his 3 month or 3 week trek across the desert. Of course he had time to snap some photos for future lawsuits.
You forgot how he only had a Spork to defend himself with….
Uptown Joe is a bad-ass ninja that used his bare hands to fight off the enemy and would only pull out the Spork as a last resort.
Joe Anan Sellers is pissed off that there were no selfies back in the day.
WHAT did he do for hydration, go full Teti and drink his own urine?
API, Uptown Joe is a bad-ass who carried two 36 gallon Lyster bags on his back while lost in the desert. Joe reserved drinking his urine for special occasions by the campfire.
Ooops! Hit ‘report’ button by mistake. Sorry, my bad.
His stuff is priceless:
Joe Anan – Veteran Many men take their wife´s family name and that is what I did . ITs funny that you ask about leaving the forklift or the fuel tanker, there was so much equipment left in ODS, When I got back to Garlstedt I was placed in charge of the NBC room . While there the supply SGT informed us that CPT Conn was in trouble for Bravo Company for leaving millions of $ of equipment in Saudi. It happen everywhere. No one was a stickler for that stuff when it was time to go. And why now???? …. Because I woke up on day and stop pretending that this event did not have a traumatic effect on me thus decided to let it out and hopefully I can thank the soldiers that found . And my finances are none of anyone´s business. Respectfully.
However, if he does have a book and his ‘creation’ is as poorly done as his imaginary time in Faroffistan or Kyrzakistan (can’t keep those two straight), people may want their money back even if they haven’t bought it.
I’m guessing that if he publishes a book it will come with crayons….
Maybe he can get iUniverse to publish it. They are the company that was kind enough to publish Weekend With Rita.
He was qualified to be in charge of the NBC room how? Also, everything in the military is accounted for, even the stuff that is left in the lot. It’s not like we did a full-on French retreat and just left the vehicles idled in the road as we ran to get on the choppers to evac Iraq.
He said his MOS was 63J….thats just like NBC right?
Have you ever known, and conversed with, a person who is genuinely disfunctionally psychotic or dementia-ed? They really do not know true from false. The “wiring” is all screwed up. It can be extremely difficult to interface with someone who slides back and forth between the plausibly real, and the implausibly false. Yet to them, it is as real as you perceive your favorite chair in your living room, conversing with your significant other, about what you were doing last week. Except that the person is discussing life on Mars and serving the City-State of Helium. And whatever you bring up to kinda guide them back to earth, just gets melded into the Court intrigue and the whole “I was there” riff. Our culture has placed the ~1% who served on a pedestal. Small wonder the truly touched seek out that adulation. Because, lets face it, the truly mad are on the very bottom of the social heap. If you are going to live your life in an imaginary (and almost certainly unwanted) psychosis, I can see the appeal. Throw fraudster shitbags to the wolves. Please, for the example to others and the good of society. But if the slob is so over the top that “bughouse nuts” fits to a T, then consider a little mercy in ones spotlighting of the falsehoods. For one day, possibly far sooner than you might think, -you- will either be dealing with a loved one in the throes of dementia, or ypu may find yourself sensing that one’s cheeze is starting to slide free of one’s cracker. Not afraid? You -will- be. Consider thet the truly mad have no real control, thus the faleshoods are certainly not “evil” in the sense of of a functional knowledge of right and wrong. I for one, am trying very hard to go to my maker with an abundance of “mercy” credits to my name, for surely I will be in need of them, come the judgement day. And if that is not the particular path you walk, then consider that to live in a just and… Read more »
Yes, I have been around people like that many times…and he doesn’t strike me as being legitimately in such as state. Those people generally are much more fluid with their tales. Joe exhibits the ability to recognize boundaries of thought that serve to discredit him and deletes posts as it suits him. He strikes me as simply, a bad liar. The demented are not bound by other’s linear goal oriented thoughts and simply tend to flitter around them unimpeded.
My mother had dementia at the end of her life. She thought she was pregnant and carrying babies. She also had no idea who I was and had no memory of having two daughters. My maternal grandmother, on the other hand, had hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis) which resulted in short-term memory loss at the age of 92. I went to see her in the nursing home where she was under care, and she knew every one of us and what we did when we were 3 or 5 or 7, but couldn’t remember what any of us said 5 minutes ago. It’s not at all pleasant to see someone in that state and know that you can do nothing about it. This guy, this Joe Anan, does not fit either description. I don’t get the feeling that he was even in the service because unlike the rest of you who are BTDT and have sometimes vivid details about small things, he has nothing but stuff he made up. (I could tell some tales, too, but not tonight.) My point is that I think he’s faking every single bit of it. Unless there’s an FOIA on the way about him, my personal opinion is that if he served at all, it was brief, uneventful, and nowhere near any of the places he’s trying to make us believe he knows about. It’s one thing if you want to write fiction. You can create your own world and take it from there. Look what Tolkien did with a non-existent place called Middle-Earth, and Katherine Kerr with the Westlands novels, Anne McCaffrey with PERN. These are imaginary worlds that exist only in the minds of their creators. And yet, there are people who are so socially inept in this world that they want to know how to get THERE, because it will make things all better. And then, there are people like this jerk Joe Anan who is, in my opinion, doing nothing more than trying to run a con game to get people to either buy some book he may/may not be… Read more »
This facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/252085314435/
Seems to show that he served and with this unit…but he’s all straight up normal and I love you guys on that page…no mention that they intentionally abandoned him or why.
I sent the admin of that group the TAH link…they should at least know Joe is throwing them under the bus.
Not a peep from the admin. hmmmmm
I sure someone has done a GDFOIA on him.
That should be ‘I sure hope’. My bad, no proofreadie.
He looks like at least a third or fourth degree Creepazoid, I think only the surface has been scratched…
If you want a good laugh, check out his YouTube page, Google+, Uptown Europe website.
It appears he likes “rap”.
I posted one YouTube video earlier:
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=66042&cpage=1#comment-2852826
I still say he looks like a Creepazoid, the type you’d expect to see creeping around in a windowless van.
Please allow me, Sockpuppetwannabee to expand and provide some Gaineyism on behalf of this poor tortured soul. For starters, the name confusion is simple. It’s all about Photoshop, nothing else. You see, his name has been changed to protect the innocent. His name is Cold Drinks. The machine behind him, until Photoshop, was selling stuff, hence named “Sellers”. Now Cold Drink did not question authority when they dumped him in the middle of the desert with a Combat Fork Lift (CFL, to any non-military viewing this story). The few months’ supply of MRE’s , a tanker full of fuel, and no phone should have been a clue that he was being sacrificed. The enemy was tiring of goat sex and needed some fresh meat. There he was, wondering why his skivvies that week had a flap in the back. The 2,000 man unit headed by a Lt. was a mirage. In reality, it was a 20 crab unit run by a cock roach, intent on crawlin’ up his ass. That night while he slept, scouts from the large unit checked his perimeter and realized he had flea powder in his pubic hair. Or so they thought! Truth is he had baby powder around his Johnson so it would smell good to goats who had been violated by nasty desert rats. Now the convoy of trucks with two tanks, who knows? According to Cold Drinks, that convoy had been in the desert so long they thought they were at sea and fired a warning shot over the bow of the Combat Fork Lift …thinking it was an enemy destroyer. You have to admit, when in the desert, it’s hard to distinguish between a Naval Vessel and a fork lift. I mean think about it, they DO look much alike don’t they? You’ve never seen a Combat Fork Lift without a bridge have you? I thought not. So he stops his CFL and makes his bed for the evening. Next morning he get up bright and early around 09:30 thinking he’d just waltz right in and have breakfast with his new 2,000… Read more »
Wow. I am in awe, Jarhead. That is the most awesome explanation of pure, unadulterated bullshit I have ever come across in my entire life. I bow before your glowing denouement of Joey Cold Drink.
I will sacrifice some cherry tomatoes and cheese to your Muse tonight, if you will allow me.
Damn, you’re good!
Thanks Ex….my first attempt at being someone’s sock puppet. ‘Course it helps to write such garbage when you lean towards being full of shit to begin with.
Hope everyone enjoys the Memorial Day weekend but remembers it, just as Christmas….there is a reason for the season. And it ain’t for presents and cookies. S/F
P.S. I love the late Jerry Reed.
Joe Anan kinda reminds me of a turbo-blowhard I once knew that tried to tell me and a couple of others about how he was once tasked to get a Stinger Missile and shoot down an Apache chopper that was stolen from a flight line in Germany. He might be featured here one day!
Rolling a forklift through the desert after being left behind for a couple of months. Now that is how you spin a tale.
Only his mad forklift driver skills kept that 4wd machine from becoming bogged down in the sand.
I’m wondering something, though. He was in a US run refugee camp. Where were the refugee’s and is he claiming that everyone left a camp full of people to starve to death and no-one checked on them?
They named it Camp Starvamonga and eventually changed the name so everyone would later forget it.
If Joey Colddriinks were writing some kind of sci-fi or spec fiction, it might be semi-half-believable. But he’s trying to make it out to be a bio when it’s baloney instead.
He’d be better off sponging off of his naive, defensive wife and finding a real job over there in refugee-central. I hope his German is better than his English.
This turd is at least original.
Driving a forklift through the desert looking for your “unit” is just fucking hardcore.
The next head of All-Points Logistics PR Department.
Maybe he was looking for some hot cocks to go with those cold drinks?
Being out in the desert all by yourself will do strange things to a man….
Maybe he has experienced “the joy of being the fat bottom boy” with some Iraqis?
The true question on everyone’s mind:
Did he perform his daily PMCS on his forklift and get the dispatch properly extended??
Pesky details….
That’s what I was wondering. How many days without maintenance can a vehicle go on constant operation in the sandbox before it is so clogged that it breaks?
Don’t take what I am about to say as an excuse or rationale for this BS story. I think Uptown Joe is trying to generate some buzz for himself, and he was able to sell this story to people who were willing to believe it for reasons of their own. However, I have seen this syndrome before. The formula is DP+HM+UM=BS (Dumb Private+Hazy Memory+Ulterior Motive=Bullshit) Let me break it down: Remember, Joe was a Dumb Private when this all happened. I find it very believable that he was detailed to another unit because of his rare and wondrous skill as a forklift driver. However, I also have no doubt that his 1SG, the gaining unit 1SG, and every NCO in between knew exactly where he was at all times. In the mind of a Dumb Private, though, he was off on his own and no one knew where he was. Another consideration is that Dumb Privates disregard everything an NCO tells them, but takes what other Dumb Privates as Gospel. I also have no doubt that the unit to which he was attached had some sort of accountability formation, and in one of those formations, one of those NCOs said something like ‘OK, everyone, we are leaving tomorrow at 0500. Have your gear packed and be here by 0430. Joe, this means you’. Joe, being Joe and a Dumb Private, heard ‘everyone’, and translated that to ‘everyone but me’ and stopped listening to anything that was said after that point. Thus, he was honestly surprised when he woke up to find everyone packing up and leaving, and he missed movement. Some NCO had to police him up, and he probably left in the last serial of the convoy. This process may have taken a day or even two. I actually find it very believable that Joe was in a small convoy that got lost or had a vehicle breakdown and may have actually wandered around a bit before making it back. This was the pre-GPS era (actually, we had these things called SLUGRs, but I doubt that Joe had one).… Read more »
https://www.google.com/search?q=bullshit+button&client=ms-android-americamovil-us&source=lnms&prmd=svin&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwidnNHSzf_MAhWG2R4KHRofDI4Q_AUICSgD&biw=360&bih=592#imgrc=53e6Q42DxFsV7M%3A
I think Uptown Joe is using this bullshit story to promote his business endeavors. A simple Google search reveals he is heavily into “hip hop rap”, magazines, music entertainment etc. It also appears to be a family affair. As for the name change, I believe that was for gain as well. His wife has embarked on a very noble cause (Google search) and has a lot of media/government exposure. Uptown Joe wants to capitalize off her name recognition.
I was in the Navy and NJARNG, could someone explain to me under what circumstances a regular Army Soldier would be assigned “guard duty” with the Marines as Uptown Joe has indicated.
Depending on the post, it happens quite regularly. However, no Marine would ever threaten to article 15 a soldier for not knowing Marine things. For one thing, the Marine would have to be an idiot to see that the U.S.Army tape doesn’t spell U.S.M.C. or something like that.
“..article 15 a soldier for not knowing Marine things.”
Yeah statements he made like that just beg for a thumb in the eye.
Especially since the 11 general orders are the same in all services anyway..da fukk Joe?