Bernathian heroism: My time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite that’s chokin’ on the splinters
Not sure if we had ever shared this, and it’s good for a chuckle as the world’s greatest legal mind, and friend to all pisses off a radio host:
Category: Politics
I can remember who showed me this on here. But classic stuff. Even during this time frame, Bernath was batshit insane.
I couldn’t remember if we had posted, but it cracks me up every single time.
Whoever it was remains an Enigma.
The “Dan” making this radio appearance, the one who “runs toward danger” clearly doesn’t seem like a 100% Service Connected Disabled Veteran. That Agent Orange must have snuck up on him sudden like. One day he’s running towards danger and the next day he’s rocking back and forth in the corner, massaging his prostate.
” … massaging his prostate, via his penis, with a catheter.”
There, fixed it for you.
COMEDY GOLD … F’n COMEDY GOLD
Thanks TSO, made my afternoon.
I just listened to it again… Michael Berry does an epic takedown on his ass at the end LOL. “Morbidly obese screeners who can’t conjugate the “be” verb”…. totally awesome!
I just want to add … that “rusty chainsaw” that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, which apparently got me named in the “suite” (still laughing over that one,) I still wish for Bernath to insert it into his anal orifice, sideways. Hopefully the automatic bar oiler is rusted over and he doesn’t have the benefit of lube.
[Edited]
Not really related to Daniel Bernath, but while we’re on the subject of fucking retards…
Never mind…this ought to do it.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201472834295519&set=o.371652628607&type=1
I’d ask an admin to remove that first link if it is related to any real school of any real person.
Done.
Daniel A. Bernath, remember what I said about you running around with sharp objects and BB Guns, SAFETY FIRST®™!!
Bernath reminds me irrevocably of this guy: http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
That joker reminds me of the kooks you see wearing BDU’s to a Gun Show or you find them at the counter waiting for someone to show them what’s there, and THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. He sounds like he’s the pride of his Airsoft trailer court militia!!
Like this guy?
http://www.vetfriends.com/members/photos/present/large/1394525_Dennis_Chevalier.jpg
Good. Good. YES!! yeah, and the last few I’ve come across were about as fit and trim as ‘ol Blobfish Chevalier! One was trying to sell me a 9mm pistol and tried to bluster me when i said I prefer the knockdown power of my .45ACP, he looked at me through his sunglasses he was wearing inside and told me”You’re just as dead from my 9mm when I make a headshot!” It took all the self-discipline I have to keep from falling on my ass laughing at him. Jokers like that are cheaper by the dozen!!
Or, of course, this greatness: http://s525.photobucket.com/user/darincraft/media/tacticality.jpg.html
Yes, that is a real photo. And yes, you did just lose all faith in humanity.
JUST WHAT EVERY “Trailer Court Airsoft™ Rambo wannabe” aspires to become, A MEGA-GEARDO®™!!
Duffel Blog knows what to do with these chocolate thieves: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/08/airsoft-syria-attack/
Holy shit that was a train wreck I could not look away from! Actually, one of the guys made me think of old Dallas…something he commented saying he’d be “LRRPing a perp”…certainly seems to be his style just minus the “disabled Vietnam veteran” part
Apparently bernads has always been a moron, this isn’t a new development. I still desire to skull fuck his soul
I’d much rather just eat his soul and shit it into Satan’s mouth the next day!!
Again, I wouldn’t skull fuck him with Chevy’s dick and Psual pushing.
Too bad ol’ Sparky there didn’t come across a bomb during his time with TSA and use the “just open it up method”
He’s the one patrolling that long lonely fence protecting us. He’s the sheepdog standing watch through the night. He’s rough and mean because it takes men like him, men who will do anything, to keep us safe. Hahaha. Such a POS. What a delusional jackass.
Gecko45 went to work for the TSA it seems.
I wonder if he considers himself a “meat shield” like the heavy chevy? If so, that meat is spoiled, time to throw it out.
He’s the sheep dog licking his ass while waiting for the Photoshoped graphic to come off the printer. FIFY.
Damn I wish there was a part two to this lol…
*Wiggles bum at Bernath*
Hey Bernath….
My feelings are still hurt….don’t you like my bum anymore? 🙁
That’s ok..I’m sure Wippenfloppit’s bum is much more to your taste anyway. Just remember to swipe the Santorum Stain off that dead rat stuck to your face when you done.
http://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/smilies/5/8/yosbutt.001.gif
“don’t you like my bum anymore?”
The rest of us do. 🙂
Hey, it’s Friday, I can say that.
I don’t think bernutsless likes bums at all.
So… when TSA officers detect a bomb in a suitcase, they’re required to open the bag or get fired on the spot? (Yeah, okay.) His comments start at about 2:45. Another poser lie.
I ASSume that’s IF they even detect it in the first place. Not long ago, fake bombs went through many a TSA checkpoint undetected.
I don’t think this is the Bernath we are looking for… Is this him? He seems like an arse TSA agent.
These are not the ‘rhoids we seek?
No, it must be another douchey attorney with delusions of power in the Portland area whose name is ‘Daniel’ and who speaks exactly like Bernath (smile).
I didn’t listen to all of it, only the first few minutes. I must have missed when he announced himself as an attorney, but there was a part where he stated something like “when you guys are running out, we are running in”. You can sorta see why I came to think he was a TSA agent.
I did think it odd, because he did say that he was taking “cases”. I was basically thinking, “well, are you an attorney or a TSA agent? You can’t be both!”
I do have to say, no matter who he is, he certainly is a jerk. Deserved the beatdown (I listened to the last 50 seconds as well), in my opinion.
I always thought Bernath would sound a bit more like Barney or something. Maybe one of those loons from an insane asylum. The jabbering, and the high-pitched voice… Ah, well.
He refers to him/itself as “distinguished” in that field. what was he/it, “Diaper Prober/ Granny-groper of the Year”?
Bernath, just because you can use that Cathoder “6-8 times a day” on your own doesn’t mean that you’re distinguished.
I know this is a non-sequitur, but he looks and acts like a less intelligent version of Daniel Hardman from the TV show “Suits”. Maybe that’s where they got their inspiration?
Nothing like calling into a radio show and calling the host ignorant within the first 30 seconds to start an intelligent debate.
Did he keep refering to the host as “Counselor” ?
According to Birdbath anyone who works customer service/ security has a pass to be a dick.
I didn’t know that we defused bombs by ‘putting them on a shelf and opening them’. Honestly, I’m fairly certain that SOP on a ‘suspected bomb’ is that blasting cage/box/whatever you want to call it. WHICH IS AWESOME.
Bernath is apparently an “honorary” EOD tech as well.
BTW: if anyone ever doubted my story about him insisting that I said, “OVER” each time I was done speaking while conversing (if you can it that) with him … Here is your proof!
Thanks TSO … This is one of my FAVs!
Mater Chief…
Umm..You forgot again.
Here’s a cigar and some fine rum for you…
OVER!
I’m 100% damned positive that Bernutsless will be this year’s SV Champ, thus he’ll get the Horse’s Ass Medal, but JUST A THOUGHT: I’ll donate the money and my metal working skills to make it. a Second Place Medal for “BLOBFISH” Chevalier, a Horse’s Ass medal cut in half, dressed up, and then sent to ‘ol “Blobfish” Chevalier himself to remind him he came in second place and was a HALF-ASS when compared to Bernutless!!
I’ll contribute to the cost Proud, as long as you put sparkly glitter on Cheeze Whiz’s one..k?
Yes, Ma’am, I ASSume you want rainbow glitter on his “HALF-ASS” Medal?
Why yes, that would be delightful Proud 😀
If I get “commissioned” to do such an award (And I might just do it anyway because of a wild hair up my ass), I shall consult with you on it, I’m thinking of a rainbow-like glitter surrounding the “Half-ass” with an epoxy finish!
I’m seeing rainbow glitter coming out of the half-assed awards ass.
The grass I raked up on the lawn this morning is smarter than bernutsless.
In fact, those little flags they stick in the ground to mark power, cable and gas lines are smarter than he is.
It’s difficult to listen to that one-sided imbecilic argument without tossing my dinner. Maybe he’ll just wind himself up so tight, everthing will suddenly snap and he’ll run down to a limp biscuit.
maybe someone from here should contact Mr. Berry and let him know about the type of lying crazy person he had on the phone…could make for some fun times
Now Hear This,
Bernath is a syphilitic Queef. Dullas sniffs those Queefs.
He is not a Chief.
Suck ASS Danny BOY.
You. Are. LESS. THAN. WORTHLESS.
/if that is even possible…Oh right…yes it is…. You. PROVE. IT!.
// Can’t wait to hear you’re in JAIL …. BITCH!!! Eat Jelly or Syrup pussy BUBBA CUNT.
Bernath claimed to have worked for DHS from 2002 – 2004. He did not. He will insist that he did but he did not. He will then insist again that he worked for DHS during period above, but he did not.
Carry on!
And he’s boring, too. MEOW.
OVER
Narcissistic control freak.
Over.
He was TSA after being disbarred? Man that figures.
It wouldn’t surprise me, the TSA usually hires dumbasses too stupid to even be a shopping mall rent-a-fuzz!
Mr. Bernath, I just saw your height in a previous comment on a different post made by Poetrooper. Six-two! Wow! I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!
HS … You are much BIGGER!
Great joke!
R. Lee Ermey is my idol. Every one of my best swearing and insult phrases comes from him 😀
HS Sophomore,
I’ve met Mr Ermey briefly a time or two. In person he is pretty soft spoken and easy going.
He is a genuine Vietnam Vet who served in a support role, and never tries to embelish what he did. Unlike Birdbath R. Lee Ermey IS a bonafide honorary E-7 ( USMC Gunnery Sergeant).
That’s swell. He seems like a nice guy. My life’s mission is to get my hands on the 150-page binder of insults he wrote up and sent to Stanley Kubrick to get the part as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
HS Soph, if you want to learn impressive insults and you can’t get that manuscript, you just come to me. But you can start by finding a list of Shakespeare’s insults, and go from there.
I have so much enlightenment for you, grasshopper.
Ex-PH2, and yet you’re a gentle flower compared to my disgusting mouth at times! 🙂
Oh, Nicki, the stories I could tell you!
I am SO looking forward to the Renaissance Faire this year. There are so many of them to go to, it’s hard to choose, but the weather looks good for it. And if the Puritans are there, I can torment them. 😉
Wow, never visited KOALA Swimwear till tonight. Thought I’d give a click for Jonn.
The website was busy for over an hour. I finally e-mailed the site webmaster and asked wtf?
Webmaster replied and apologized.
Webmaster stated someone named Bermnasty from Tigard, Oregon had all the bandwidth tied up with a massive order. Apparently the swim suits were a perfect fit for his small pointy bald head. Bermnasty wanted to be prepared for the next cold Oregon winter.
If in Florida and he visits the local tranny beach, his little pointy bald head won’t get sunburned! A perfect fit over his beaver cheeks!
Wonder what he ordered from the “clamps and rings” section. Never mind…
Never a CPO, never an Honorary CPO.
BinhTuy, I looked, too, yesterday. I wanted to post a warning – that it requires a sidelong glance, and don’t linger – but I could not stop laughing.
But just think! If the ads, including Koala Men’s Swimwear, are on bernutsky’s website with whatever he stole from TAH, they’re making money for TAH and Jonn.
All hail, the dunce, the fool in the corner!
“As you’re running out of the airport, we’re running in.”
He makes it sound like there’s a bomb threat and mass panic at the airport on a regular basis.
And I’ve seen the majority of those TSA personnel. The only place they might run to is cinnabon.
Ah! ++1 for ‘The only place they might run to is cinnabon.’
Hey ByrdMan!
Good to see you back!
Cinnabon, hell, ya oughtta see ’em bolt for Dunkin’ Donuts the moment they label the old ones half off, talk about a stampede!!
I have three Snakemasters in my yard. I have no idea what to do with them. Any ideas? Anyone?
You have three of these http://kidsturncentral3.com/graphics/snakemaster.gif
in your yard? I thought Hawaii didn’t have any snakes? Did you move?
No, no, GDC. Sicily and South Dakota. The Snakemasters are in South Dakota, annoying the mother cows.
Theresa … He will never find you in South Dakota … Your neighbors are way to protective … If you know what I am talking about!
Yes, I do, Master Chief, and I’m dropping this little thing in here to let him know who just who he’s dealing with.
Katy Perry goes Private Benjamin.
Hi! I see that you all are huge fans of my most famous student! I am so proud of him for all that he has accomplished in his life, and I want to share with you the rules for debate that I taught him, and which have turned him into the legal legend that he is today:
1. Make outrageous claim, especially one which makes yourself look smarter\better\faster\more fragrant than opponent. (Usually includes an insult to the intelligence of opponent.)
2. When opponent begins to (easily) refute outrageous claim, begin pointing out irrelevant errors in opponent’s argument. If there are no errors, fabricate some.
3. Insist that opponent does not understand your point.
4. Re-state a slightly different point, including exaggerated examples to bolster your claims.
5. When opponent attempts to bring the conversation back to the original point, insist again that they do not understand your original point.
6. Bring in some utterly irrelevant evidence that serves mostly to obfuscate the issue.
7. Insult your opponent’s intelligence when they become confused about your argument.
8. Insist your opponent still does not understand your point.
9. Re-state another, completely different point.
10. Make more outrageous exaggerated claims.
11. Insist that you have some specific inside knowledge that your opponent does not.
12. Lie liberally and often. It doesn’t matter how outrageous the lie – in fact outrageous lies are more helpful, because then you can distract your opponent into refuting your lies instead of the original point.
13. When your opponent is completely befuddled and confused about what you were even arguing about, declare victory and do the victory dance.
14. Slink off to the bathroom for your bi-hourly catheterization…
Did you teach him to call the opponent “snowflake”? If so, that was genius!
That is covered in steps 1 and 7.
Sounds like this came from The Liberal’s Guide to Political Argument.
Let’s be fair; probably Ann Coulter’s as well.
Left, right, or center. This technique is developed especially for those devoid of any and all rational intelligence.
And an unhealthy obsession with their own urinary tract.
You bastard: “more fragrant” … I dropped my iPhone in the toilet!
Bummer, Master Chief, sounds like a shitty deal, gotta clean it good so you don’t have a shifty conversation with someone over it!!
*QUICKLY ducking into the low crawl*
Bummer, Master Chief, sounds like a shitty deal, gotta clean it good so you don’t have a shifty conversation with someone over it!!
*QUICKLY ducking into the low crawl*
I see someone missed – or forgot – this article (smile):
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=35523
Hondo….posted here and there for everyone’s reading pleasure… Since Bernath is a piece of shit that makes us want to vomit…. ——————– /not me..just a poor soul that posted that is now internets famous…. ————– Now, I know that there is a lot of embellishment that occurs on this group and I am aware that a small number of things are perhaps sheer fabrication, but I have a story to tell that is the absolute truth. Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan’s Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid’s night at Ryan’s, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment. We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you – in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however. I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first I thought it was only gas, which could have been passed in batches right at the table without too much concern. Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so… Read more »
Oh my Sweet Baby Jesus … That is funny. Who wrote that?
Google says it came from a page called IHOS “International House of Steve”….
Don’t know if he wrote it or not.
This is a true story, the names have not been changed. This really happened. I travel allot, I have seen the best and worst of truck stop bathrooms, rest areas and the like. What I am about to confess should happen to no man. I had been sick. Not the I need to stay in bed and watch TCM kind of sick, but the I feel like ass, but I have to keep working kind of sick. I was driving down the road and it hit me. I had to take a crap. Now I have developed a set of rules for the urgency of the dump that needs to be taken. I have the 15 minute shit rule, Meaning that where ever I am in 15 minutes is where I am going to shit. The 5 Minute shit rule. Much the same but not so picky about where I shit. The 3 minute shit rule. That means any port in a storm, Women s room, mens room, 5 gallon bucket, I dont care. Then its the code brown. That is the Im going to shit now. So I had been feeling bad, tummy was upset, lots of gas ect. It hit me that I had to shit. It was a 5 minute shit rule. I found a truck stop, got parked, did the ass clench walk into the store and headed for the rest room. It was closed, the lady cleaning it said the ones in the restaurant were open. I almost pushed past here and used it any way, but in my arrogance I thought I could make it to the other one. Across the store, into the restaurant, at this point I had my hand on my ass almost doing a hop step. I look for the bathroom and cant see it. I am in a panic, The hostess sees me and I guess understood right away from the look on my face and the sounds coming from my ass. Back corner. I knew I would not make it. I think she did too but I had… Read more »
Lovely … Just absolutelylovely. Thank you for ruining my meatball parm sandwich … That aside, good to see you back.
Dickweed!
Master Chief,
One of the few saving graces of working where I am currently is the fact that 1–the hotel is literally a 2-minute drive away, 2–there’s a kickass sandwich shop that’s the best and best selection this side of Carnegie Deli, and a hell of a lot cheaper, too.
Fucking tears rolling down my face…..
Pretty shitty day on TAH!
Bernath is still a HUGE fucking TURD!!!
I posted before I finished,
SO there I was, pants full of shit, in a truck stop standing at the hot bar.
I headed of towards the rest room, went in the stall and was trying to clean up.
A couple of minutes go buy and a bag with undies, jogging pants and socks with a shower ticket comes under the door.
I hear a guy say, Brother we will all shit ourselves from time to time. I was getting ready to take a shower but you need it allot more than I do.
If you ever drop your iPhone in the toilet, let it go, because man, it’s gone
/R.I.P. Jack Handy and Phil Hartman
Thats a good place for an iPhone…
15. When confusion is at its highest, file a frivolous lawsuit on behalf of yourself and other valor thieves.
I have been struggling to try and come up with a response, every time though I burst into fits of laughter over his exaggerated self worth and depiction of his duties groping passengers as heroic…
I wonder how praised he was after admitting he was often the subject of complaints.
What an utter jackass.
I think Donkey would object to being associated with bernutskypants.
Can’t…Stop…Laughing
“Did you hang up on me!?!?” hahahah
16. Pick a fight with and challenge a Most Honorable and Genuine Master Chief Petty Officer, the current Master Chief Petty of the Navy (MCPON) and the two previous MCPONs, while attracting the attention of EVERY Genuine CPO in the free world to your cause!
Singularly legal genious and brilliance at work!
He really is a shining example of mental deficiency at work, isn’t he Master Chief. Puts a stick in a hornets nest and then cries like a pussy when he gets stung. BRILLIANT!!!!!!
He has no idea what is a foot.
And I am not talking my feet!
17. He is a mysogynistic slur, else he would not refer to any woman as a ‘skank’.
But then, he should know what his origin was. He is a toad-eating, ape-born, reeking, spongy, whey-faced, flap-mouthed goat fluffer. His father mated with a camel, he was born under a basket, and he is in love with his own stench.
Anytime someone says “I pay taxes” they’re about to be an asshole!
Both bernasty and the DJ were wrong and right, to a point!
People are such fucking pansies these days! They want everyone to coddle them and think of their feelings. That’s why when my kids fall down and get hurt, I point and laugh then kick them. I think it’s all a beautiful metaphor of life.
Joke!
I humbly beseech any and all players involved to commit to paper what can be committed to paper, so that when this debacle comes to its righteous end, that all may read from the “Chronicles of Bernath: Fables, Lies and Lamentations.”
Sell it on Amazon as a Kindle book, with proceeds to the TAH media empire.
Open Channel D sends…
How many volumes are you proposing to publish, Open Channel D? I don’t think one will suffice for those chronicles. (smile)
As perpetually as they spout off, Bernutless, Whatsafart, Blobfish Chevalier,… one could make it a periodical titled “IDIOTS PARADING STUPIDITY”!
Volume I (The Humiliation) will take us through to his disbarment and conviction; Volume II will be a series of prison interviews with cell-mates, prison staff, interspersed with (unintentionally) comical introspective vignettes told by the Balding Barrister himself.
I anticipate a made-for-TV movie will be optioned. I’m hoping John Malkovich would play Bernath; he brings a special kind of crazy to the show. If not him, maybe Woody Harrelson. Thoughts?
John Malkovich and Woody Harrelson are both far too sane for the role. I vote for Gary Busey.
Kramer from Sienfeld …. Along with the hatred and racist rants …
Or hell hire Bernath to play himself. With all his Portlandia experiences and acting accomplishments …
Nope. There is only one person who can accurately portray this level of crazy on the silver screen…….Christopher Walken!
What about Mike Meyers: Action/Comedykinda like Austin Powers but Bernath played by Meyers would be a zanny British Barrister who a set on destroying the world by starting with the destruction of himself!
Meh, how about Jim Carey?
Malkovich, because he has far more depth than a quart of water.
Never hire a fool to play a fool.
Some of you have occasionally given me compliments for the insults I’ve thrown at people like psul the uncool and bernutsless, but I cannot, in all sincerity, take full credit for the entire thing. You see, I had a very good education which included Latin (2 yrs) and also a father who taught theater and produced plays every year by an unknown writer named Will Shakespeare (whoever he is). I have always believed that an insult or set-down can be eloquent and erudite, and likewise, scathing and downright intimidating, without the use of what are commonly referred to as vulgarities. No matter how much fun the short-form insults may be, there is a limited depth to them. One can only use ‘fuck’ or ‘cock’ so many times before it loses its impact. And so that you understand exactly where I gained the capacity to deflate an arrogant, self-important mushroom like bernastypants, I will quote a few of Shakespeare’s best, for your entertainment and enlightenment. These are, of course, addressed to bernastypantsman. A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. King Lear (2.2.14-24) O you beast! I’ll so maul you and your toasting-iron, That you shall think the devil is come from hell. King John (4.3.105) Such antics do not amount to a man. Henry V (3.2.28) He is white-livered and red-faced. Henry V (3.2.30) Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck! 1 Henry IV (2.4.227-9) Thou mis-shapen dick! 3 Henry VI (5.5.35) Two of my favorites: You wear out a good wholesome forenoon in… Read more »
Ex-PH2,
I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!
The Tempest (2.2.155)
And all this time I thought it was “poopy-headed monster.”
BREAK
Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels.
–Henry IV, part 2
You, minion, are too saucy.
–The Two Gentlemen of Verona
[Thou] hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
–The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Come, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.
–Love’s Labour’s Lost
Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great.
–Measure for Measure
Thou droning unwash’d maggot-pie!
—
Thou dissembling knotty-pated horn-beast!
—
Thou pribbling crook-pated mammet!
—
Thou impertinent beef-witted devil-mon!
—
Hooah!
And this one:
Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.
Troilus and Cressida (2.1.41)
Although, I do think everyone here has more brains in either elbow than bernitwitted has in that empty, gas-filled cavern in his head.
Either of them may bring to mind the days of sail. When a scullery wench burdened with child was in labor and not progressing, she was made to lie next to a cannon. The cannon was fired again and again until the child burst forth from the womb. Thus the origin of “son of a gun”; which in times past was not a compliment.
Oh Hellkite!
(The only line I remember from “The Scottish Play”)
MacDuff: Front to front
Bring thou this fiend of Scotland and myself;
Within my sword’s length set him; if he ‘scape,
Heaven forgive him too!
BREAKING NEWS:
I just got off the phone with an Imperial Wizard of the Grand Court System in the Kingdom of the Northwest and this is what I have learned:
1. Bernath vs. Hy### et al has NO legs. Suit is dead in the water (Navy analogy).
2. Bernath is and has difficulty following proceduures, therefore service may not be valid and all indications suggest he has violated warnings from Bar and knowingly broke the law in the Kingdom of the Northwest.
3. Federal, state and local judges are bidding on the opportunity to preside over all future cases involving Bernath and specifically the MCPO case.
4. Lawyers are fleeing by the van load in an attempt to avoid being asked to represent Bernath.
5. There is a new cottage industry emerging in the Kingdom of the Northwest: Bernath Lawyer jokes.
That is all.
Carry on!
Notes: 1. No real lawyers were harmed in the scripting of this sarcasim. 2. Bernath is not, never was nor will he ever be a Genuine or Honorary CPO. PERIOD!
Just wondering if you are taking applications for fan girls? I’m very good at filing and making coffee along with empty praise. Oh and I hold a chair down nicely.
Master Chief,
Please call me ASAP, Like Main Space Fire Quick
So are the Judges trying to play seniority, or are they trying to decide via other methods AS TO deciding who will have the distinct pleasure of dismissing his/its case and laughing with everyone else present while the Bailiff escorts Benastypants out of the courtroom? My Dad is a retired State Judge, and he’s thrown cases like Bernutless’s out like they were yesterday’s trash!!
OH, and Bernath the phony CPO/phony Oregon Attorney IS SO STUPID, I heard (It’s only a rumor) that he once took the #5 bus twice to make up for missing the #10 and tried to sue the bus company for not taking him where he wanted to go!!
‘Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.’ W.S.
Thank you, Master Chief. Do I need to go on with that project I’ve been working on?
You forgot to say over.
MEOW.
Dan is such a short-fused personality…I am afraid to have a lighter or a match lit around him.
What an idiot.
Ladies and Gentlemen
May I present for your reading pleasure, a post by our illustrious hero which he titled “STOP BASHING THE TSA SCREENER”
(I swear, you can’t make this shit up)
https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/practical-travel-safety-issues/385097-stop-bashing-tsa-screener.html
In case it wasn’t painfully obvious, “tsawatch” is Daniel-san.
and my apologies for not posting this when I put up the link
*spew warning*
Oh … it is quite telling. Looks like he had voices in his head going back to 2004:
TOP bashing the TSA Screener!!
I spent a year and a half on the line wearing the uniform of my country. I took an oath to protect the United States and would have willingly given my life to protect you.
I think you should show the appreciation for the TSA screener that he and she deserves.
How many times a week did I look at a bag, after the X ray told me a bomb was inside and had to open it up. There was nobody to “call”, I was the guy. How many times did the voice in my head say, “these are the last few seconds of your life…”
You can be angry at management of TSA and the way the amatuers have bungled things up but you MUST say to every screener you see, “thank you for all you do to keep us safe.”
read this tribute to the TSA screener and appreciate them for risking their lives for you and your family http://www.aspecialdayguide.com/tsawatch/duty.htm
I also noticed that Daniel-san’s TSA links are broken.
Any bets that TSA yanked his chain hard?
Any bets that he’s on TSA’s No Fly List and that’s why he’s taken up flying?
anybody at all?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Maybe it was the way he giggled every time he volunteered to be the test dummy for Body Cavity Search Training?
You mean that someone called in a favor with a friend who works in the alphabet soup and had his name placed on a no-fly list? I wish I could buy that person a beer… then again, I don’t really drink.
Hold—did you just say you put Bernutless on the no-fly list?
NO! He did not say that. He did not imply what you inferred.
–rgr1480
“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”
I made it on Bernaths page and Dullass is blowing up my in box.
Do I get a Tshirt or something
Conflatulations on a done well job!
Or something. Definitely or something.
Do you all remember this one? (No, NOT a shot of bernitwits)
http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b559/wesley_wilson1/46458770_zps87ecb98d.jpg
Bernath has said to me in Email that He is an officer of the court, that he has been instructed by a judge to bring service.
Being the nice guy I am, I sent him an address he could mail the stuff to. Well being the ass he is he gave that address to Dullass.
I am sure my good friend and gun buddy who happens to be an officer of the law is laughing his ass off about his address being used to receive this.(With Permission)
Oh and I am sure Dullas is thrilled that he posted that info on the internet.
Dumbass
“…Bernath has said to me in Email that He is an officer of the court, that he has been instructed by a judge to bring service.…”
This sounds like he is misrepresenting himself as a lawyer outside the state of California.
MCPO might want details.
Hooah!
Oh and Dullass,
You need help buddy, big time. You have anger issues. Dont think for a second I am afraid of you or Bernath.
You guys are stupid. Really Stupid. Bernath said he was an officer of the Court. The he had been instructed to do this crap tonight.
You dont even have a picture of me. Do you really think a Photobucket account that happen to have the same name I use here means anything?
I am going to post this here as well.
It is a violation or Oregon and Florida Law to contact me. I have sent both of you Emails to this effect. DO not contact me, my family or business partners or customers. Any papers you need to serve me can be done through my lawyers. They will contact you in Due time.
Bernasty the “seasoned ligation attorney”? Working as a TSA airport checker? Finding untold numbers of bombs? Was this all at Tigard International? (Not enough high bucks litigation work to keep him busy?) Bernasty plueesse, next time you find one of those suspected bombs just do THE RIGHT THING. Pick it up and shake it. Better yet call in the other bomb expert, “witlessfucked” and you can shake it together! I really have to laugh my ass off. “Seasoned litigation Attorney”. Really? Ever won a real case? I suspect the reason they fired Bernasty was he kept pushing the sniffer dogs out of the way and he was cutting into their turf. Especially with the overweight ladies as he describes them. It was a panties thing. “Seasoned trial attorney” what an embarrassment to real attorneys. TSA Inspector: What an embarrassment to inspectors really trying to do their jobs. (Even though I don’t care for them.) What an embarrassment to the Navy Photographers that have served. Especially from WW-2 through the present. I salute all of you. Many of you have been through the crucible. But not you bermanasty, you just slithered around in the bulkheads. Perhaps we should start to contact some of your shipmates and see just what kind of heroic missions you were on. That would be really easy to do. There are many association groups online that will have all the history of the carriers you served on, and names of flight crews of every mission. That also includes every company/group etc. so that would include your group? One of the questions would be how you were were ever exposed to Agent Orange. You phony fuk! Perhaps we should check on all those rescue flights you made over Vietnam, I assume over the North as that was where your carriers were operating. Just how many rescue flights did you go on? Something that needs to be answered Never a CPO Never a HCPO. Just a high powered litigation attorney that couldn’t cut as a simple TSA baggage checker. I guess we will be checking your units records. Anything… Read more »
18. When you pick a lost cause, fully commit yourself to it rather than to an institution that could actually help you.
Bernath = Loser.
+1.
How sad is it that Dan (Not a member of the bar) bernath has to get Dullass to help him.
Dan retracted his deal offer when I asked him if he was a member of the bar in Oregon.
I didnt know anything about Dullass until he started emailing me. I looked him up. What a tool.
Dullass claims he has no Idea who bernath is. Thats funny.
They still dont have my address.
Dan IS not a Navy Chief. He is not a member of the bar in Oregon. He is not a good parent.
BREAKING NEWS:
Seems he has making friends at a certain Taallaahhaassee aeroport FBO down thare way in Floridida.
We have the tapes and kinds goes like:
Tower: Make turn and land 36.
Pilot: What? I am so tired I just flew a cross the Rockies without taking any recommended course or training and people say I could have killed myself trying. Can I just put it down? I know how to do that!
Tower: That is 36.
Pilot: You want me to land on 9?
Tower: 36
Pilot: 9
Tower: 36
Pilot: 9
Tower: Land on 36 and immediately proceed to office … FAA woulkd like a word with you.
Note: Runway 9 at Taallaahhaassee is closed for construction. It is fenced off and construction equipment covers the area. Proper flight planning and preparation (plus a set of eyeballs required for VFR) would have revealed that runway 9 should never have been considered and or discussed.
So there you go, making friends all over the place: NTSB, FAA, TSA … A true pattern of spreading good will and cheer from Oregon to Florida!
Not sure if satire or real … laughed anyway.
Much truth!
3 + 6 = 9. Maybe that’s how he, with his ginormous intellect, came to the conclusion that he was to land on 36.
Oh and there is more!
But first, let me tell you HOW I got the tapes. It is part of a vast Govt Sponsored Conspiracy where the UNIT accesses TOP SECRET computers and networks throughout CIA, FBI, NSA, DIA, DHS, FAA and more. We are given access be we know the handshake and have the reverse code proticols. Oh and you can listen to virtually all FAA comms and download it on the AlGore.net too … Seems like there is an industry out there recording reckless pilots!
So apparently, when he arrived at the office he caused quite a seen (with FAA, ground personnel, tower), threw down the lawyer bit, talked AT everyone involved (vise talking to), claimed he was imprisoned et al, as to, to wit and then he set everyone straight about his RIGHTS … And contiunued to his next point where they greeted him with laughter, pointing at him and saying, “that is him, can you believe it?”
Yeah … We believe it!