Stolen Valor Tournament Day 3. (The last day of voting)
So, let’s recap my day. Saw several midgets, watched one dude launch a midget down a slip and slide, saw more naked boobs that I’ve seen in any other week, and 95% of which I wish I could unsee, met Frank from American Pickers and some dude from American Guns, probably lost my hearing, and definitely lost my sanity from about 30 emails from Wickre. (I don’t want to ruin the surprise for you, but he’s contacting every person under the sun until Jonn and I are in jail and he’s going to sue us.)
But, I did get this picture from Sniper.
Anyway, I am traveling all day, and Thursday I will audit results. At 9am on Friday I will crown your “winner.”
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Category: Politics
GI_Duck says: “Vote for the Shovel. It’s important.”
Here’s why:
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=36954#comment-898728
Me and my shovel
Strolling down the avenue
Me and my shovel
Not a soul to tell our troubles to
Tell us more about the naked boobs??????
saw more naked boobs
TSO tested, Nik Approved!
psulie psulie, you’ve been a baaaad monkey bothering TSO while he’s checking out nakedy boobies; I got a feeling you gonna pay for that…
This scum Giduck is worse than sweat from Stalin nut sack.
He disgrace all patriotic shovel thrower in Russia.
Paul K. Wickre, you are a terminal turd. What a poster boy for dumbass of the year. Through all this, you have stayed the course, continually reinforcing our feeling that you are nothing more than a pathetic LOSER. You do get an “A” for being persistent in keeping us aware of your idiocy.
I don’t know whether to vote once or twice, so I have voted once already. I may vote a second time. Voting only twice gives Chicago-style voting a bad name, but I don’t have a dead person or a sock puppet who can vote for me, so I will debate this for now.
Besides, when I clear my browser, I forget to re-enter my call sign every time.
Phildo.
John, tell us you’re going to publish the emails. After you finish watching naked boobies, of course.
Priorities and all that.
Mon-kee-ASS! Mon-kee-ASS! Mon-kee-ASS!
TSO, please, please, please can we see at least the text of the e-mails?
Think of the comments to come! The asininity! The made-for-radio play! The books yet to be written!
Please, pretty please, with whipped cream and a cherry on it!!
I need more scum and villany stuff for my next book. I just can’t think that way. If I do, I’ll start drinking Mountain Dew, for pete’s sake!
Are they (Phildo and Paul of the Ballsack) claiming new Law Enforcement agencies or status?
I have voted my second time.
I don’t know which of these two moldy cheese logs is worse. Personally, because they are both thieves, both make threats, and both lie they asses off, I think they are on a pretty even keel and both deserve to have the win – kind of like eating pork infected with trichinosis.
Anybody seen “Lets Go to Prison?” The comedy?
Phildo’s picture look like Nelson Biederman IV when he has to make his “tough” face.
Funny movie.
@1.
That duck probably has a squeeze hole that makes noise when the duck is compressed.
That is what Paul likes to tongue.
Hence the hard look at “Philonious” phil by association.
You know the difference between a turd and either of these two?
About a dozen chewed up kernels of corn.
@17 more taper on both ends?
It’s my personal opinion that neither Phildo nor Geeductape would last a second in what any of these people http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=36985
went through before they were hit.
Phildo Philodough – totally bogus, blowhard, coward
John jackwagon geeductapeworm – totally bogus, blowhard, coward
Yeah, they’re about equal on the scale of scum and villainy in my book. I will use them for what they are: fools and cowards.
I alternated votes first two days. That Paul K Wickre, Monkress’s ass slave is still acting like a rectum that’s been feed a steady diet of suppositories, exlax and mineral oil clinched my last vote for him.
Any way it ends doesn’t matter. Both are shitstains on the skivvies of man kind.
Hey Gutdick
“In Soviet Russia Valor steal you”
These clowns are Porta-Potty “mound of turds” quality.
SEC ballgame, 98 degree, 99 percent humidity, lukewarm beer and chicken wing, unisex toilet kinda smell to boot…
Deadly.
Q: How do you get rid of porta=potty contents?
I see how you reversed the order of the names on this poll. Nice, almost got me.
Giduck looks like he’s got a mouthful of…something. Like he just licked the batter off Monkey’s beater?
@1 Hondo I’m stealing that for my facebook avatar .. LoL!!! is awesome …
Phil-Do! Phil-Do! Phil-Do!
@ #22 ExPH: those companies use a piece of equipment known as a vacuum truck to empty/service porta-potties.
Ex-PH2: this might answer your questions in a bit more detail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS5iT1lJDx0
— break —
streetsweeper: ah, the old SST . . . .
Actually saw an OPORD for an exercise years ago that used that acronym in the context of field sanitation and porta-pots. It specified which unit would provide the truck and driver. The suction unit was separate (apparently some organization on post owned one), and was installed in the back of the truck for the exercise. (smile)
So sue me, but I just got the Gi Duck joke. Giduck. I picked a helluva week to cut back on coffee. I’m going to get some right now.
The shovel has been getting my votes. His level of asshattery is higher.
As Hondos bath toy says…
“Vote for the Shovel. It’s important.”
The fact that Psulie-boi is STILL sending e-mails despite that really “skeery” legal letter sent by Oily Taint’s retarded cousin telling someone to cut off our access to the Innerwebz says a lot.
And the fact a mouth-breathing, sister-humping, booger-eating ri-tard like Monkeyass ever employed him reminds me of the line of the great poet warrior Shaq when he (I) said (paraphrasing):
WICKRE HOW’S MY ASS TASTE???
“…saw more naked boobs that I’ve seen in any other week,” — TSO
That reminds me of the day I was at a Danish topless park, crowded with hot, magazine cover material Danish women, with bare breasts hanging freely. 😀
As for Paul Wickre? That stupid ass dimwit doesn’t have enough brain power to light a night light.
The last midget I saw was while I was on Staff Duty. I was checking the barracks when she rode by on a tricylce. She was drunk and naked at the time. Gotta love Infantry barracks.
After the tournament is over, interest in Phil – and, by extension, interest in Psul – will die down and people will slowly stop commenting on them. Unless Psul returns to stir the pot. Which we know he will. Over and over. And over. And over.
#31 What park was that, next time you go to Denmark just hit the beach, just beware of the nudist beaches, might need eye bleach after that, since it’s the older folks who do that:-))
At least when we were stationed in Europe, the truism was that the people you saw naked were the ones you didn’t WANT to see naked. (Except on the beach at Nice…ooo la la!)
Again: Giduck!
GI Duck says vote for the shovel! i have to vote for the shovel! he beat the leg man, and monkey ass hasnt even done that much. everyone that is voting for monkey ass is just voting for Paul’s antics. if monkey ass wins, i think they award should be to Monkey ass and Co. because he never could have (and didnt try) to do it on his own.
OK … I jumped ship.
I was a MonkeyAss Man.
Now I am a Geldeddick Man!
OK … none of that makes sence and sounds a bit creepy … but you guyz and gals know what I mean!
@38 Master Chief,
I’m sure if you took an informal poll here, you’ll find quite a few of us here have gone both ways.
/raises hand….voted for Phildo and also voted for Shoveldick.
MCPO: try calling them as “Monkey-man” and “Gooey-Duck”. IMO that doesn’t sound quite as creepy and is also pretty descriptive. (smile)
ChipNASA: speak for yourself, bud.
You do realize you left yourself wide open there, right? (smile)
GidDuctape, because I don’t think that psulie-O the uncoolie-O deserves to be associated with a winner.
They are liars, looters and pillagers. As that SS guy said in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” “Shoot them. Shoot them both.”
@32. The naked midget on a trike wasn’t at TDC, Korea was it?
Oh and I made something for all of you 😉
http://imageshack.us/a/img7/8721/osrx.jpg
@43, Nope, it was in Ft Wainwright, AK.
Jas: excellent work, amigo. Simply excellent!
Midgets … Subic Bay, PI 1986 – 1989
Beggars Banquet:
The Snipes (engineers) routinely had there department party at Beggars Banquet. A two story building equiped with bars, food, bands, buy me drinky girls and all the long time loving you could afford! On the roof top there was a pool and across the 10 foot alley way was a three story building.
So the Snipes of the USS Hepburn (FF-1055) arranged the best and biggest party of the cruise during a three week repair on our main shaft. We had the whole building, pig roast, San Maguel ice cold bottled beer, girls, more food, did I mention girls, Peso shows, the Dart Man, midget throwing contests, and everyone from the ship was there to enjoy!
So on to the midget throwing portion on the party. So for 5 US dollars two snipes would be issued a suitable midget. These were professional grade throwing midgets. Not hollywood actors or the village idiot version that one might find in the middle of some small town. The snipes would exit the Beggars Banquet building (with THEIR issued midget) that was located on or close to Magsaysay Drive. We would enter the building across the alley, tip the guy who was carrying a sawed off shot gun, and proceed to the roof. From the roof, regardless of the amount of beer one had consumed, the 2 snipes would, by hand and foot, swing the dare devil thrill seeking midget performer and on … ONE … TWO … THREE … we would release the wee lil’ man up into the air, across the alley way … he would do a twist, flip, or similar stunt in order to impress the crown and encourage tipping … everyone would scream in horror … and after what seemed to be several long moments and with the grace of God Himself … the midget would land safely in the pool.
Oh … and Dart Man was friggin’ crazy … for 5 US dollars he would allow you to throw a dart into his back!
@32. Twist: And you didn’t ask!? I mean, I could undestand waiting until the next day but I would have to know. “Gentlemen. Last night I saw a naked midget female riding a tricycle. She appeared to be pedaling away from these barracks. I want the story. Oh, and if there are pix, I want them destroyed: burned and flushed. Okay, let’s hear it.”
“These were professional grade throwing midgets.” Okay. I have about 5 minutes to live now. Thanks, Chief.
@49–no shit. I’ve seen it. I’ve also played PI Bar Dice. Never won, mind you, but I gave it a hell of a shot. Then there’s playing “smiles”, tacos and lumpia at Via’s, “special” jeepneys to Bo. Baretto to Island Girls (submariner bar), or the free beer at Slim’s every evening at 1800.