Stolen Valor Tournament from Excremental Eight to Fecal Four
Today’s Tournament is dedicated to all those out there who keep coming back to the blog despite the fact that they aren’t wanted here and continue to try to get the blog taken down. Because, that’s easier than *NOT* clicking the link to us on their “Favorites” bar which they do all day long.
Don’t touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I’m going to pack my things and go
Touch me baby, tainted love
Voting will be today through COB Thursday evening. I will repost each day.
NORTH Regional Championship: Gidduck v. Bustamente
4) John “Attorney’s fees” Giduck
I noticed with some interest the offer yesterday reported by Twitchy that author Brad Thor was offering to buy Zimmerman a gun. As a result, some folks were having a book burning. If I might humbly suggest a book of Thor’s to be burned, it would be The Green Beret in You: Living with Total Commitment to Family, Career, Sports and Life. As Thor says on his blog:
When John Giduck and Sergeant Major John “Andy” Anderson asked me to be the voice of the audio edition of The Green Beret in You: Living with Total Commitment to Family, Career, Sports and Life I was deeply honored.
This book has profoundly changed my life and its lessons continue to challenge me each day to be a better husband, father, friend, businessman, and American. As I said when I first read it, The Green Beret in You is the essential guide to true manhood. If John Wayne had left men a how-to manual, this would be it.
Delta Force Command Sergeant Major Mel Wick does an even better job of summing up the book when he says, “As Special Forces Sergeant Major John Anderson and John Giduck clearly show in this book, being a Green Beret is not just a title, it is a total commitment to living a life with integrity and honor, accepting responsibility for your own actions, accepting responsibility for your job, mission, family, children, friends and teammates. Being a Green Beret is about doing your best every day. It is a lifestyle that every American can adopt, and this book shows you how.”
Yeah, none of that is real. Gidduck is a piece of shit, and Thor should take that nonsense down.
6) Albert “Marine Special Forces Recon” Bustamente
Watch our buddy Jaie Avila bust this Grade A assclown:
As he said, he did catch some flak. Which is why he will no doubt next be seen filing a claim for service connection for shell fragments from the VA.
WEST Regional Championship: Ladner v. Hamilton
1) Shane “High School to Panama” Ladner
I’ll grant this to Ladner though, dude knows how to fight a lost cause:
Nothing in Ladner’s files or in the Army awards branch includes a record of him receiving a Purple Heart, or any documentation proving that he’s entitled to one, officials said.
Ladner’s Texas-based attorney, John Cook, said in a statement that his client did receive the military honor and would be owed an apology when all the information comes to light.
“We’re disappointed that law enforcement authorities felt the need to arrest Shane Ladner today, especially in the manner that it happened, a traffic stop on the side of the road,” Cook said. “This arrest serves no purpose other than to continue to traumatize Shane and Meg Ladner, both of whom are still recovering from last year’s train accident.”
He’s like a King Leonidas of Retardation. I’m afraid the DD214 will be his attorney’s Thermopylae though.
3) Todd Michael “Triple Stack Hack” Hamilton
Todd here was the President of the Shadow 6 Foundation. Some would assume that “Shadow” had some sort of special ops type feel to it, while the “6” would indicate that he was the commander. All that is true, if by “Shadow” you mean a network systems operator, and Specialists are now “6’s” in military parlance. Anyway, douchetool here hiked across Washington state with the tower of power on his shoulder (SF, Ranger and Airborne tabs) and then resorted to the lame “I did it to honor soldiers” excuse. Admittedly, he is sort of a dreamy bastard. He even had two women (one his wife) come on here and defend him. That’s what I am working towards myself, which is why my wife is in Krav Maga class right now, and then getting trained on giving insults from Jon Lovitz.
SOUTH Regional Championship: Crocheron v. Tesla
This continues to say it better than I could:
Colonel, Uncle Kenneth Crocheron is a FAKE. This week it was finally confirmed and proven that our former beloved family friend, Ken, has been deceiving us for the 10 yrs we’ve known him…..deceived many many more innocent family members and friends and co-workers over the last 40+ yrs. He IS NOT a Green Beret, IS NOT a COLONEL, or any other army officer. IS NOT honorable in any way, regardless of the GOOD DEEDS he may have done for our family, it was all under the guise of rescuing us and trying to impress us with his clout.
The Great James Douglas Morrison once said “No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.” Crocheron feels the same way about wasting the opportunity to use a kid’s illness to try to cut a slice. I look forward to him receiving his eternal reward.
2) Chelle Lynne “ATC/CNO/CAP” Anderson-Tesla
Chelle here is 20 lbs and a boob job away from crossing the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal.
OK, maybe 30 pounds.
EAST Regional Championship: Monkress v. Lewis
1) Phillip Dale “Monkeyass” Monkress
The only man in the field today who is going to be checking his status from a courtroom where he is enjoying the benefits of drinking and driving, Monkress is clearly a five tool player.
Now this is a story
all about how my life
got twisted upside down
and id like to take a minute
just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the SEAL
of a business named APL.
OK, that doesn’t even rhyme, but I got people breathing down my neck to post this by 8:00 AM, so I challenge you to write it for him.
Fun Fact: Lewis did not win the British Open yesterday, but he has drank deeply from the Claret Jug of factual absence.
On a patrol in Charkh District, Logar Province, Afghanistan in late August 2009 he claims he was back blasted by an RPG which caused spinal damage, PTSD, TBI and a bunch of other problems. However, there were at least 3 other Soldiers between him and the ANA firing the RPG, none of those Soldiers were injured and he himself said he was fine. He managed to get CASEVAC from Charkh all the way back to Bagram and then from there back to the states. Once in the states he continued to have different problems pop up (back injury, shoulder injury, nerve damage here or there, etc…) and finally was transferred to WTU.
FWIW, I am only about 20 strokes away from being on the tour now. Regularly in the low 90’s.
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Category: Politics
Crotchrot all the way baby!!!
One for the punk this time.
On the bright side, the voting is getting a lot easier for me.
The only choice I had to spend more than .001 seconds on was Crotchrot versus Tesla, and that took about .002 seconds.
TSO, I am strongly mentally supporting your divine wish to be on The Tour.
Talk about a gaggle of shitheads…
i think there should be something in the Ladner bio about his wife’s leg. thats kinda his trump card, “yeah well you might have claimed a triple stack, but i stole my wifes leg with a train” hahahah
John Giduck also apparently lied about being at Beslan and now there is a direct quote from him saying, “I was there”.
http://thetruthaboutsocnetlies.wordpress.com/2013/07/21/john-giduck-lies-i-was-at-beslan/
Giduck now admits that he was safely ensconced in Colorado under the sheets wearing his spiderman underoos during the entire Beslan tragedy.
while I don’t advocate violence against women, I hope Crotchrot beats the shit out of Tesla. Other than that, I think we can all see how the final four will shake out.
Holy crap – after voting I feel like I need to get tetanus, rabies, and anti-clap shots!
@9 based on Tesla’s preferences (chubby submissive bondage queen) she might enjoy that….
I still think this tournament has 8 “winnners” here, we should award all of them some form of accolade, it keeps all of their names high in the search engines that way….
Ken Crocheron — Best Military poser in an attempt to seduce a MILF video
Chelle Tesla — Best Military poser in a punished plumper bondage video
Gidduck—Best Military poser in a shovel defense video
Bustamente — Best Military poser in a duck and run from a reporter video
Ladner — Best Military poser in a “How to cripple your wife” video
Hamilton — Best Military poser in a computer nerd tries to fake SF video
Lewis — Best Military poser trying to make the PGA tour
and last but in no way least
Monkress — Best Military poser to win government contracts while having a drunken loser reprobate on the payroll as your barking dog…
8 titles for 8 shitbags that way they all win something but the best of these 8 could be up for an additional award,
and the winner of the individual Best Military Poser as this year’s supreme lying sack of shit is……(insert your winner here)
I’m all for Tesla. My bookie in Vegas has pretty good odds on her making the Fecal Four, so I’m leaning on the “Vote!” button. Come on ‘Chele. I got a thousand bucks riding on you!
Looking for a Crocheron/Monkey Ass smack down!
next week should be critchrot v monkey ass and ladner v gidduck
could go any way on those match ups, but im still pulling for Ladner. his SV had dire consequences on an innocent person. His wife got hit by a freaking train! im sorry, that never gets old. i feel sorry for her, but that is just funny
The sad part is how many of this year’s tourney involve people who served, but weren’t satisfied with that and had to embellish. I have a special level of scorn for those who actually served and lie, as they of all people should understand the dishonor of their actions. I don’t think Ballduster McSoulpatch ever truly understood what he had done (and he did look epic in the mess dress. NHSSparky, gotta disagree. Tesla took the job based on her lies. That equates to financial gain. I had to give it to her over Colonel Dumb@ss. Don’t get me wrong, I really hope the karma fairy takes a strip out of his @ss. I have her and Monkress going to the championship.
I think Punks asshattery has been extremely overshadowed by Monkeyasses and his supporting lady Psul…
Gidduck, underrated in this competition and looking for the Quiet Proffessionals to propel him forward to the end.
I am with VoV though, they all deserve some serious recognition.
@11, so VOV, you, uh, got a link too that video? you know, for research purposes only.
Yeah, I have a deep and abiding disgust for Tesla, but she can’t beat skeezing the mother of a very sick kid. Had to go with Crotchrot.
I would have voted Tesla against almost anyone else.
I say it will come down to Monkress/Crocheron. There is a lot of weight behind the Monkress story to make him a winner but…he did not go to a hospital in a poser uniform and sucker a sick kid with the gift of a phoney beret. Stand on a street corner and say homeless vet, tell bullshit stories to your biker club, even profit from government contracts based on a lie. But never and I mean never stoop so low as to mess with a little sick kid, laying there with a gleam in his eye because you show up in a phoney, jacked up uniform and bullshit stories and give him a military gift that was not earned and not his to give. The mom of this boy knows the truth from reading the Crocheron thread. Imagine this little boys heart when he is old enough for his folks to tell him the truth! I hope they let it go and let the little fella enjoy the moment he had in his own mind and memory. Crocheron crossed so many poser lines with that stunt it makes him Numero Uno for me, now and always. Although I am sure in next years tourney another ass hat will do something worse. Just my humble tournament opinion. I could accept an apology from Monkress if he came clean but not from Crocheron, ever. He went a bridge too far!
@17 sorry dude, not enough retina bleach in the world to correct those images…
@12 Question. Were you kidding or is there really a Vegas line on the tournament?
I hate voting for top seeds across the board, but I really couldn’t drive myself to do otherwise.
TSO, please keep us updated on the results of the DUI case in Florida as you find them.
Florida Eighteenth Judicial Circuit Brevard County Court Judge John C. Murphy today granted a continuance of the DUI jury trial of “U.S. Navy SEAL Team 4” Imposter Phillip Dale Monkress.
atb
Bill Roth
Brevard Business News
^^^No justice, no peace.
ANOTHER one? Seriously? This reminds me of the bit from Demi Moore/Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men where she took nine months to settle a drunk and disorderly charge.
Monkress–dude–man up and take your lumps. That pending charge is going to show up on your investigation anyway.
Gidduck is a genuine douche nozzle, but he will be matched up against Ladner next week and there really is no comparing the two. Ladner’s lies directly resulted in his wife’s leg being taken off by a train and even after that incident, he just changes his lies to still claim he was awarded a PH.
i still have to wonder, why do so many people claim a PH? its an award for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. the award itself doesnt mean you did anything special or were a hero, just that you were injured. of all things to claim, why claim injury over valor?
@23. really? aren’t most DUI cases slam dunk, no jury affairs? not sure, I have never had the pleasure except for taking one of my soldiers to a Mayors court GA just outside Savannah to answer a DUI charge. how much money is he spending on attorneys fees to string that along? so if as a Gov contractor he gets convicted, and he possibly loses any clearance, what happens to APLs contracts?
If somehow Giduck manage to squeak through — and I’m not saying he will, only IF — I know a horse barn that will be happy to show him how to use a shovel properly. 😉
What a slimy group of posers.
Monkeyass already recieved my last vote a round or two ago, come on Punk you can do it!
Damn…I actually had to use a coin twice
In the Army, I believe a security clearance is flagged while a criminal case or some other potentially adverse action or 15-6 investigation is pending. If it’s the same elsewhere, I don’t know how Monkress has maintained his clearance for this long, let alone others in the company… unless he got it in 2008 and it came up for renewal in 2013… hence the catalyst to send his attack dog.
This year’s tournament is tough, and different than past ones (never had a spouse lose a leg from stolen valor before). I liked Ferris based on how far he took his lies, but any one of the remaining group can “win.” Wow these people are depressing.
I am really rooting for Tesla, but I understand that to have her matched against Crocheron at this stage is not helping her standings. But think of it this way – Crocheron dressed up for a sick kid to lift his spirits, but Tesla dressed up and lied to impress groups of ambitious kids/teenagers/cadets, who mislead into seeing her as a role model. Not only that, but after the deal blew up in her face, she was still commenting on CAP discussion groups as if nothing had changed and was still on local TV news making her SV claims to a reporter (with her fake PH certificate hanging on her apartment wall). I sure wish both could win, but anyways… Just my 2 cents.
I went Giduck, Ladner, Tesla, Monkress and am still pulling for Monkress for the win.
BTW, I think this is the first tournament where a female poser made it to the Excremental Eight. Way to go spankarella, you’ve broken another barrier; you’ve come a long way, poser baby…
Sorry, that should have been “who were misled” instead of “who mislead”.
Nothing says awesome like a throat tatoo.
Tesla all the way to the final round. She takes the liar vs liar competition against Crocheron by a hair. I mean a pound. Or several pounds.
It’s becoming more and more difficult to find the humor in this year’s contestants.
The contestants seemed more theatrical, comical, and less mercenary back in the days of BG Ballduster McSoulpatch. These Stolen Valor tourney contestants have shifted from a self-centered theatrical “look at me!” to stealing money, benefits, or other financial advantages.
I miss the days of Ballduster and MSgt Soup Sandwich. These ‘nozzles are depressing, partly because of what they’ve done and partly because we can’t give everyone a special prize. They sure deserve one.
#32 but Crotch then hit on the Mom. I really hope the Mom and kids will come back create a July surprise and put Crotch under the bottom. Their story when this came out was infuriating.
But, they are all such losers that it is hard to chose.
Crotchrot should take this thing…there is nothing lower than messing with a terminally ill child to further your lies and phony agenda. Monkress is a tool, no doubt…but he gets way too much credit on this site b/c of Psul and the other buffoonery that went on.
As others have said- once Crochrot took his phony act to a sick child, he crossed an even bigger line of dishonorable conduct. We had a local girl die in Copperas Cove last year to a rare form of bone cancer- we were invited to her last birthday party- we brought her unit coins, a hat and our heartfelt prayers and support. But we brought ourselves- regular Joes with nothing remarkable in our service records- just guys going a little out of our way and taking a Saturday to give a seriously ill child some happiness and support. She passed away last February, but her family has not forgotten the support we showed. Can’t imagine sullying that with a BS stolen valor act.
Crotchrot or bust.
Should have said “We lost a local girl in Copperas Cove to a rare form of bone cancer…” poorly worded on my part in the previous post. RIP Alyssa S. Ranard- she’s with the angels now.
I actually voted for Monkress this one. I was going to deny him because it would have been more of giving the award to the ineligible Paul K Wickre, who deserves his own award as being one of the four most idiotic shitbags ever to post on here ( Wiitengen, Mailhan and Blake round out thar fecal fire-team).
Two things bought me around to start pulling for Monkress. The idea that perhaps he put Wickre up to trolling this age to distract from his stupidity or intimidate the blog into silence ( or at a minimum he was hoping that was the result, paid for or not) and him getting his DUI case extended yet again.
In the end I think I really want the dark horse ( or the dark Walrus) Tesla to pull off the win.
Her calling attention to herself by using the local news to get face time over a “worn out flag” was the finishing touch.
While Crotchrot is a pig who played a sick child, if you read though Tesla’s history there are a few accounts of her playing up her own kid’s illnesses ( real or fabricated). She’s playing her OWN kid to her advantage.
The toughest choice in this round was Spnkerella v. Crotchrot. Spanky was/is my dark horse in the tournament, but I think Kenny’s actions – cozying up to a family with a special needs child IOT hit on the Mom – is just TOO creepy. I had to go with my gut and pick Big-Time Kenny.
Old Dog, ya missed out on Ladner, the guy claims panama service while he was still in high school, forges papers for a PH, milks wounded warrior charities for all kinds of benefits, is on a parade float for wounded soldiers with his wife, AND GETS HIT BY A TRAIN!!! seriously, how do you get hit by a train on a parade float? so his wife looses her leg from the train wreck (the actual one, not her husband) and he still clings to his lies about mysterious hospitals in panama and Ft Benning keeping all his records. the guy didnt lie to kids (well he did in his parade just by being there), he cost his wife her leg! his lies directly caused his wife to be permanently maimed and confined to a wheel chair!
Crotch rot is pretty dispicable, giduck sued actual SOF guys, and gave TSO his favorite opinion from the bench, Tesla is scum, but none can add up to Ladner
@27-High dollar DUI lawyers have a pretty good record of getting aquittals in jury trials. They usually attack the probable cause for the contact, any minor errors in the report or the science of the PAS or even the blood tests.
All they are trying to do is raise “reasonable doubt”. They make really good money doing so. I know a few professionally.
http://www.flduigroup.com/
This is tough, tough to vote on which shithead should move on.
I had to go with “Legman” Ladner for obvious reasons. I had to go with Tesla because I don’t believe there should be any glass ceilings. I went with Giddy Giduck because he fucked over Brad freaking Thor.
Monkress, however, is a special kinda asshole. He’s managed to get a dumbass to stand in for the online roasting he so richly deserves. He’s got a fancy company full of poor saps who are doomed to be jobless once karma settles up accounts. He’s an unmitigated fucktard who deserves this win!
Ladner was a given, but Cochroach guy was a tough call he is a piece of shit, no doubt about it. While Tesla continues to lie for attention, I guess I selected her for repeated offenses. Cocheron has stayed out trouble after all his lies were exposed.
@12. Guy, I am right here in Sin City. If you’re serious and there’s now a ‘line’ on the tourney, tell me your bookie so I can go lay a Jackson on my ‘man’ (using the term VERY loosely), ‘COL’ Crotchrot. Dude used the uniform to stalk a sick kid’s mom. Cozened the kid. Almost broke up kid’s family with his creepy sh1t. That be smokin’ aces!
Giduck anyone who harassed and outed AD folks deserves to win.
the ‘Legman’ all the way. he still claims his PH is real