Keith “Big Dawg” Keeton; won the Gulf War by himself
Our buddy, Scotty, hunted down this clown, Keith Keeton, who apparently won the Gulf War all by himself. The story he tells is that, as a staff sergeant, he was receiving the surrender of an Iraqi general when he was shot by his Saudi translator’s pistol (the first victim of a green-on-blue attack), earning a Purple Heart, and as an engineer, he killed an Iraqi T-72 tank, despite the fact that Engineers don’t have an anti-armor capability once they leave the cover of the infantry unit to which they’re attached.
Anyway, here’s what the NPRC says about the Purple Heart;
There’s also no mention of that Bronze Star, either.
You’ll notice in the picture that he’s wearing jump wings and a Purple Heart on his little motorcycle jacket. Well, there’s no jump school listed in his training;
And his participation in the Gulf War lasted 11 days a couple of weeks after the war ended;
Scotty has more on the clown.
Category: Phony soldiers
MCPO: I think on a C130 it’s generally called a “prop” vice a “rotor”. (smile)
Hondo: Ah … you see “I aint’ no airdale.”
Yeah, but calling them “rotors” does add a certain mystique to the story. I kinda like it!
TAH,, I found Josh Kelly. He is claiming the Silver Star also. His name isn’t on the list of Recipients though.He is claiming Combat Wounded Army Medic . The Home Depot Foundation.did home repairs for him in Oct,2012.Here is a you-tube video of him talking about his wounds in Iraq.
OWB: well, I’ll give you props for that one . . . (smile)
Hondo, re: medical stuff (no, I didn’t watch the video, I would like to keep my sanity today).
You can bleed to death in the space of 60 heartbeats on a ruptured major artery like the carotid artery (neck) or vein (jugular). The aorta is the major artery that comes out of your heart and feeds oxygenated blood to the rest of your person. Puncture the aorta, and you are dead meat on a fork unless you have a surgeon cardiologist in the immediate vicinity. A tiny flechette can kill you very quickly if it hits the aorta.
My experience: Two years working for a vet[erinarian] in college, two semesters of anatomy & physiology, and one year of medical photography before Navy service, then another year of it in Philadelphia before leaving Navy. Any questions?
You’d be amazed how quickly you can die if you’re even slammed in the chest by a blunt object like a basketball.
Seriously, this guy is a self-aggrandizing, bloviating clownfish just looking for easy ways to get sex from naive women… or men. And probably money, too.
Master Chief, I is an airedale.
Propellers are vertical, like a ship’s screws.
Rotors are horizontal.
That is all you need to know.
You guyz are getting a little “spun up” on my story!
Scotty, internet Ninja.
EX-PH2 … I am a former “Boiler Tech – BT (hero’s turbine or flying assh*le)” force converted to Machinist’s Mate – MM (flange head) … cut me some slack!
Just tryin’ to help, MCPO! 🙂
Thanks, Hondo!
Scotty: yeah, looks like KXAN in Austin has a print story about that little escapade, too:
http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/local/austin/disabled-vet-gets-home-remodel
Reporter has been contacted and advised he may have been conned. Let’s see if the reporter gets pissed and takes me up on my offer to help if that turns out to be the case.
Ex-PH2: per my understanding, you’re correct about the aorta and the effects of it being punctured/lacerated/torn. My understanding is that loss of consciousness occurs in a matter of seconds, followed shortly afterwards by death.
Trivia point: I’ve read that that’s exactly what killed Oswald after Ruby shot him. Ruby shot Oswald in the abdomen. However, the bullet either passed through the aorta or passed close enough to it that the shock wave lacerated it. Oswald was essentially dead before he got to the hospital.
Re: Oswald, I don’t remember exactly, but I think Jack Ruby shot him in the stomach. I do remembre seeing him cave in like he’d been hit in the stomach. If so, it was either the abdominal aorta, which connects from the cardiac aorta to the rest of the arterial system and runs the length of your body from neck to pelvis and then splits, or it might have been the vena cava, which parallells the abdominal aorta.
But, yes, Oswald was indeed dead on a platter.
This may be the residence, the house from Google view seems to match the Home Depot benefit video:
XXXX XXXXXXXXXXX Drive
Austin, TX XXXXX
Owner: JOSHUA P KELLY & AMY KELLY
Read more: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Folks: please don’t post address or phone info. We don’t want some fool going off half-cocked and doing something stupid, particularly since this one is still in “status undetermined”.
Nice catch Hondo, but the link has the address too, might want to edit it :S
Sorry, my error.
@28: Hey! Don’t be dissing us legs. I’m not a leg poser, I’m an actual leg 🙂
MCPO – You could be on to a new poser job: C-130 Rotor Mechanic!!!
Read several articles on Joshua Patrick Kelly. Some articles stated he was wounded in Afghanistan; others in Iraq. The PH folks in Austin, TX (page 3) in March 2010 mentioned he had not received his PH because he was an Army Medic detailed to a Marine Corps unit…and there was confusion as to which Service was suppose to award him the PH.
http://www.purpleheartaustin.org/images/Mar10web.pdf
If he was wounded in 2003, why after 7 years was there confusion on whether the Army or the Marine Corps should “award” him the PH?
@JustTheFacts, I thought if you got medivaced out, the gaining Hospital took care of it for the very reason to avoid having that happen. Also, when it comes to awards let’s face it “out of sight, out of mind”. I recall some poser busted here had fallen out of a guard tower AFTER a firefight was long over and he got the folks at the stateside Military hospital to issue him the award. Then he was called on it later and it was revoked.
Wasn’t the QMP time 14 years for a E-6 back then? IIRC, it was 10 years for an E-5, but those numbers changed several times when I was on active duty based “on the needs of the service”. But I do remember it was a big deal post 9/11 when an E-6 could do his full twenty without being QMP’d.
I had a E-6 friend back in the mid- to late 90s that got busted two grades for striking an officer and immediately QMP’d because he’d exceeded the limit for E-4s since he had 13 or 14 years in.
Hasn’t there been more than one fake in this motorcycle club?
@31 – I heard a few months ago that Monkress the fake seal was promoted by his club instead of fired. He is now reported to be at their secret headquarters with the national club commander. Maybe they will promote “fat dawg” keeton also. Maybe their entire command group are posers. They have no recruiting standards within that association.
Posers are everywhere.
Under every rock, behind every tree.
Epidemic proportions.
Was the MC’s headquarters contacted about Monkress and this Big “Frawg” guy? He got promoted–really?
@31, Monkress is still a member and a national one..there was no punitive action taken against him. And a reliable source (a member with club connections) said they hushed the whole deal up. Very few members know and he holds a position of authority.
Same with this big dawg. Very few know
“Big Dawg” Keeton gives out his personal cell and his 15 digit grid during his video interview. Pop smoke Keeton, the LZ is hot. Your color is red on the BFT.
Every HVT on this website eventually reads the post written about them, and in true fashion I am sure Keeton is feeling sorry for himself right about now.
Time to ring the bell Big Dawg. Apologize and go home.
He kind of reminds me of a dude that works night shift at the local burger joint.
Same dude that sleeps at the shelter, or out back.
Claims Vet. We put a stop to that.
About the same age and skill set.
Loser.
I called “Big Nutz” Keeton, and he offered a simple explanation, so don’t be too hard on the dude. So here is his story:
For many years he had to lie about what happened because he was on a top secret mission for the SECDEF, investigating who had been writing all of those Chuck Norris jokes in all of the port-a-potties within the Iraqi Theater of Operations. This TSSCI investigation originated during Desert Storm and continues to this day. This is actually what caused the invasion of Iraq in 2003. Originally thought to be a Taliban and al-Qaeda code network, Keeton was deep undercover. He was assigned as special security for all Shit Sucking Trucks (SST) within the DIyala Province. One day on a routine surveillance operation, he spotted an Iraqi General entering a port-a-potty with his Aide. Keeton established an LP/OP in the adjacent potty. The temperature that August day was a searing 140 degrees Fahrenheit in the stalls. This unfortunately cause an orange diet Ripit energy drink that Keeton had in his left cargo pocket to explode. The explosion caused Keeton’s 9mm Beretta to discharge a round through his left testicle. The muzzle flash ignited the methane gas exuding from the MRE turds and blew the FOB to hell. (I am holding a tear back right now). During the subsequent top secret closed door Senate ASC hearings Keeton’s entire ODA team was forced to make up a cover story for the mission. His awards are classified, that’s why you cannot locate them.
@ #82 OJW- slow clap!
Big Scam Keeton…you are a con man and don’t belong in this country. How dare you wear medals that our servicemen earned and died with!!! You discuss all military and your Bike group should kick you out and never speak to you again!!
This man is no longer a member of that motorcycle club…they kicked him out
COOL! They ditched that asswart, now we need to keep the heat on them about Monkress!
Glad someone got the word out!
86 – I saw one of Keeton’s motorcycle members at Bushnell, FL, on Saturday. He reported (sad to say), there is a double standard. Monkress is one of the top brass, Keeton was just a low level guy so he got the axe, Phil is protected. I also heard they have a big biker meeting in San Antonio in the middle of June, and Monkress will be there running the show.
Oh really now? This oughta be fun.
OOHHH, let me be the first one to meet up with whoever hands Monkress his ass on a platter, I’ll buy him his next shot and a beer!
I wonder how many ACTUAL ex-SEALs will be attending that MC meeting in June – and what they’ll say about a faker running the show.
Somehow I can’t see them going along with that quietly – if they know the score, that is.
Phil is protected
If that is in fact the case, then the whole MC is tainted. JMHO.
@92 Exactly, you are know by your associates as well as yourself. If you associate yourself with lying 4ssclowns (whomever they might be) your own honesty and non-4ssclown status are immediately suspect….
@92 Sparky I commented in the other thread about Monkeyfart that his MC isnt well thought of by the other Veteran MC’s that are in FL according to my dad who is a Viet Nam vet and a biker as well. I can see why they dont think much of that club, two lying scumbags in one MC, I wonder if they even check to make sure they are not getting a cock and bull story like they seem to be getting.
Don’t be so quick to judge. Records to be updated. The truth will prevail.
95 Iron Butt
Records that show Monkress was really a SEAL, or Keeton earned all the stuff he was wearing?
@88 must be in that club. I got a buddy in a diamond club and he said club members don’t talk to outsiders and especially about a higher member. A lot of information being pushed out on this post about this club and probably some are also members too. As for this monk guy, I’m sure things will come to light soon enough for him.
@88 – Phillip Dale Monkress (google hit!!!) may not be there in June. He’s having legal troubles in Florida.
97, why do you call this Phil Monkress guy “Monk”? You know him, or is that your pet name for him?
Those guys are like a VFW or AM Legion, perfectly harmless, not like outlaw clubs. So they have low standards in recruitment, and they talk a lot. If they would just require a copy of their candidates DD214 for membership then it would solve their problem.
@99 that is what they call him in that post, why don’t you check it out. Plus, if this club talks so much why has it taken so long for this to come to light? Apparently you know all these guys stating your following them and its your club. Keep up with these false documents and your club will crumble in shame.
100 – Not my club, not my problem, they are mostly VFW fools, just like you and your buddy who is in the “diamond” club you brag of (I guess that means he is a hells angel), and the fat sweaty biker I saw at Bushnell, they are all over Florida, and all the same, black vest, 600 patches and pins on the vest to pay glory and self tribute to their service. They always have a shit load of war stories to tell. zzzzzzzzz