Paul Anderson; phony SEAL
Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this Paul Joseph Anderson, Junior who claims that he’s a retired Navy SEAL and Master Chief. And he’s single, ladies, even though he has most of his teeth;
The Navy disagrees;
Based off of Paul’s summary sheet, he did 6 months and 9 days. Paul attended Sonar Technician Basic Submarine “A” School but was dropped for Physically Disqualified for Sub Duty and Academic Reasons. Looks like he was only there 4 days and was discharged as a Seaman (E-3). In conclusion, NOT a SEAL, NOT SWCC, NOT a Master Chief, NOT a Combat Veteran and he did NOT do 18 years in the Navy. Regarding the FBI claim — we didn’t waste our time looking into that claim.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
Cocksucker
Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Shack!
I can see it now, some eligible lady saying…
“Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at FBI.”
It’s also hard to get a word in when he’s speaking seven languages
If I wasn’t married, I’d be first in line. I just love a man who has nearly got all his teeth
So he CLAIMS to be able to do”…500 pushups and 250 situps in a day…” yeah, I’m sure his head bobs up and down each day while he’s blowing winos befind bus stops for spare change. He was thrown out in 1974 when one had to be a REAL dirtbag, slacker, dud or any combination thereof and maybe he was an atomic dickstepper as well?
Probably explores new and exciting ways to get his shit pushed by Mr. Ouch
Looks like he has a solid workout routine as a oral splooge vacuum…look at them cheek muscles.
No blowers cramp for this guy, he’s a professional.
API… PAUL JOSEPH ANDERSON JUNIOR claims, “on my best day I can blow 500 winos and 250 hobos”.
Excellent form, great effort! But can that furry little bastard run a buffer?
SFC D,
You aren’t thinking of replacing Yef with that monkey? What will the 1SG say?
Dino, that would depend on results. How about if Yef does one side of the dayroom, the monkey does the other, winner gets the Stockdale Trophy and becomes PDO. I’m open to suggestions and recommendations.
I’m not a PT stud (40 pushups, 75 situps, and 17:15 on my last APFT) and I can do/have done 500 pushups and 500 situps in one day.
25 every half an hour for 10 hours.
Now granted I didn’t do that day in and ay out (it was a Memorial Day Challenge a few years ago), although I’m pretty sure there were days at Basic Training where I may have done more.
Yaayyyy!!
The Seals are back in town!
This toad look like he spent his entire childhood with his finger jammed into his left nostril up to the knuckle scratching his frontal lobe.
C’mon, ladies..do not let this little genetic gem slip through your fingers.
/sarc off/
You stole my thunder. I was going to post: “Yay, we’ve got our first real deal (NOT) Navy SEAL of the week!” I was afraid our never ending supply of them was starting to dry up. But the fake SEALs never disappoint. The only thing missing is the claim of service in the Viet of the Nam with Purple Hearts, CAR, and maybe some time as a POW. The ladies need to get after this dude, cuz he says he has most of his teeth, in addition to all the heroic Navy shit he has done. Who knew one could make MCPO and SEAL in less than 6 months AD.
I see our fake SEAL drought has broken. Fleet ASW Training Center admin drop? Yeah, all those maffs were corn-fusing. I should know- used to teach it. Fookin’ loser.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and take a SWAG that he might have gotten caught cheating on his first exam or didn’t show up for extra study.
First week of STS “A” School your still covering the basics. Like, the difference between active & passive sonar kind of basic.
Not sure if they had MANDO (Mandatory Extra Study) back then but in 1991, the first 2-weeks of STG “A” School each and every “A” Schooler had to attend 2-hours of MANDO every night regardless of your class average or how you did on the first test.
If you failed to show-up once you were put on academic probation. If you failed to show-up twice you were academically dropped from “A” School and sent to the Fleet as a non-rate (AKA: IBM Program which is short for Instant Boatswains Mate Program)
AW “A” school was similar; our drops were Airman, and usually wound up running chocks and chains on a carrier’s deck. Hot, heavy and dangerous work.
The highly reliable word on the street is that Paul Anderson was medically separated at training school for mental issues which were allegedly falsified.
This would certainly be true to form.
Like he guy in the bunk next to me at basic? Took a dump in his wall locker just before inspection and then threatened suicide. They got rid of him so fast his shadow couldn’t keep up.
It takes a special kind of talent to get booted three days into a program!
Oh, brother…epic self-delusion…he won’t recover
He has been down so long it must look like up to him. Sorry S.O.B. if you need to live in a fantasy
join, Clay The Free American.
Paul Anderson needs to look straight up to see the street gutters.
When he looks straight up, he sees a smiling wino looking down
Okay, let’s see how the numbers work out:
Today is Day 150 of the year. Exposed Phony SEALs so far – 47.
150 ÷ 47 = 3.19xxxx(too many other numbers to list that are completely useless, but might mean something to anyone with Dr. Sheldon Cooper’s Need For Completeness Syndrome)
365 ÷ 3.19 = 114.42xxxx(again too many useless numbers) (projected number of exposed Phony SEALs by the end of the year)
Got to “A” school on a Monday, dropped from “A” school by Thursday.
Dumbass.
Wait, I am calling bullshichtz on this guy.
If his good eye was green, what color was his bad eye?
Ha, BUSTED!
Up until that, everything else was so believable.
I’m sure that Paul Anderson’s green eye turns blue every time he’s a quart or more low on SHIT!
His other eye was black, as in swollen shut from all the brawls he had with real men half his age.
This is the best case of unmitigated BS I have seen in a long time.
His FB page is still up…for now
Way back when I was in the training pipeline for AW, an admin drop from “A” school meant a one way, all expense paid trip to Pier 12 in Norfolk as an undesignated airman, for the remainder of one’s enlistment. They picked the number, but you got to choose the color, as long as it was haze gray.
My point is, perhaps there’s also some major league dick-stepping involved here, and he got shit-canned most ricky-tick.
My point is, perhaps there’s also some major league dick-stepping involved here, and he got shit-canned most ricky-tick.
————————–
He probably ended up standing tall before the Man.
I.D.I.O.T.
Spelled it out for you.
Isn’t this him? His Michigan Voter Registration and time in Service matches the age in these two articles:
http://www.mlive.com/news/bay-city/index.ssf/2017/11/vet_charged_with_sexually_assa.html
https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1988&dat=19890703&id=5GYiAAAAIBAJ&sjid=Fa0FAAAAIBAJ&pg=1162,94063&hl=en
Owch! Looks like the same chin cleft; same right ear (“little hangy-down part*” attached to jaw); same forehead wrinkles; same hair line; same thin eyebrows. Too bad he’s not smiling in the mug shot — I could evaluate the teeth then.
VA benefits???
*quoted by Festus Hagen.
And the newspaper identified him as a Veteran:
“Veteran charged with sexually assaulting woman who volunteered to help him”.
Yesterday, 29 May 2018, Paul Joseph Anderson had a Preliminary in the Bay County, Michigan. The Stalking charges were dismissed Nolle Prosequi. However, the charges of Criminal Sexual Conduct-2nd Degree (Felony) and Aggrevated Stalking were Bound Over to the 18th Circuit Court in Bay County, Michigan. The 18th Circuit handles Felony cases.
Was wondering as well about his VA benefits. And his tax-free breaks he bragged about on Facebook.
Here is the source for the Bay County, Michigan Court:
http://www.baycountycourts.com
http://12.221.137.17/c74/c74_cases_detail.php?case_id=3401288&SID
Looks like he is still waiting for his day in court. Bay County bumped him up to circuit court.
Or at least that is my “not a lawer” interpretation of that info.
…and Dude is going to have bail bond bounty hunters (is that the right term?) tailing him – he skipped out on a $35k bond. Methinks he better be laying low, instead of trying to find his next ex-wife on Facebook.
http://12.221.137.17/c74/c74_cases_roa.php?val=3401288
Based on the 1989 article, looks as if Paul Joseph Anderson has a history of not showing up in court..
Dude – I totally missed that the article was that old. You are right – that is a distinct pattern of bahavior.
“and Academic Reasons”
That explains a lot of it right there.
Navy SEAL version of Big Cheese Chevalier. Ladies, when you encountered this Paul J. Anderson, don’t walk away from him…RUN FOR YOUR LIFE !!!
You guys are making it hard for me to lie my way out of being an incel. STOP IT!
Cheese,
Dennis Howard Chevalier
Denny H. Chevalier
You people have it all wrong.
He wasn’t a wash-out from “A” school. His instructors saw so much potential in him they had no choice but to alert the closest SEAL unit and invited them to check him out.
Once he was screened, the Navy was so excited to have him that he was put in the express SEAL training pipeline, and created a ruse about his real military record in order to protect his identity and military records – because all his assignments were “classified”.
And so, while he was serving with the teams, he did so well that the Navy also sent him to college and language school to learn all those languages in between missions.
When he was released from the Navy because of his extensive injuries, he applied to the FBI and was selected right away. The FBI waived his injuries because he was so high-speed, low-drag.
Oh, and because of all the special skills he had – coupled with his investigative prowness, intellect and keen instinct, his FBI career was quickly catapulted and he was promoted to Special Agent in Charge within a year or two after completing the academy.
He solved ALL the major crimes in the U.S. on his own and eventually left the FBI to pursue his dream girl.
(Yes, that’s sarcasm…)
He sounds like the talking dog from an old joke I heard.
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t a SEAL. But when is someone going to tell us whether he really was a Supervisory Special Agent at the FBI or not?
The suspense is killing me.
If AnotherPat’s links are indeed about our boy here, he does have some experience with Law Enforcement.
Does that help?
*grin*
I’ll take ‘There’s Room for Doubt’ for $200.
National Defense Medal. Hero
First medal I ever got. My chest stuck out so far I was scaring the neighborhood bullies from High School on my first 3 day pass. They must have thought I was just back from Viet of the Nam. I even had a good limp going.
He made Master Chief in six months? They either lowered the standard or he was shyte-hot.
Not just a Master Chief, but according to his Facebook profile screenshot “former Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy.” MCPON! Why not!? Go big or go home!
We had 3 Nucky Pooks that signed up for 6 years and washed out of Nuclear Power school I believe for Submarine service. they were assigned to A-Gang and they hated it knowing that they had to serve out their 6 year obligation. I don’t remember what happened to them.
I was in the Army, so forgive my ignorance, but if they washed out of Nuke School, did they get to apply for a different job classification, or were they stuck wherever the Navy wanted to stick them?
Former Army Recruiter, MEPS Guidance Counselor and Retention OPS NCO here… needs of the service apply aka whatever nobody else wanted. Or like the fine print says:
a. My enlistment/reenlistment agreement is more than an employment agreement. It effects a change in status from civilian to military member of the Armed Forces. As a member of the Armed Forces of the United States, I will be:
(1) Required to obey all lawful orders and perform all assigned duties.
(2) Subject to separation during or at the end of my enlistment. If my behavior fails to meet acceptable military standards, I may be discharged and given a certificate for less than honorable service, which may hurt my future job opportunities and my claim for
veteran’s benefits.
(3) Subject to the military justice system, which means, among other things, that I may be tried by military courts-martial.
(4) Required upon order to serve in combat or other hazardous situations.
(5) Entitled to receive pay, allowances, and other benefits as provided by law and regulation.
b. Laws and regulations that govern military personnel may change without notice to me. Such changes may affect my status, pay, allowances, benefits, and responsibilities as a member of the
Armed Forces REGARDLESS of the provisions of this enlistment/
reenlistment document.
Carlton;
I remember them being assigned to A-Gang but I cannot remember what happened to them before I got out but I think that they left before I got out. Long time ago. Some things stick in my memory and some things don’t.
Depends.
If you put in the study hours and put forth an honest effort, the detailers in the pipeline would do their best to put the guys who tried into a good rating.
If you were a problem child, didn’t put in the study hours, or were a DU (demonstrated unreliability) drop, your fate was fucked.
Thank you everyone for your replies.
My friend was nuke school washout, but he went to Machinist Mate A-School first. He ended up in M-Division, and they had a couple of other ex-nuke guys too. He had around 4.5 years remaining on his 6 year obligation which he did the entire stint on the K-Zoo. Sucked for him because by the time most of our “crew” moved on he still had another year to serve. Surrounded by lifers & boot camps was a “living hell” as he described it.
I found his resume on the Interwebs: “I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The… Read more »
Yes, but can he fix the blinking “12:00” on the VCR?
DC. Your question is a scream.
Daisy Cutter… Have you tried electrical tape? Works great for that pesky “Check Engine” light.
So he’s basically the Dos Equis guy…
Stay thirsty, my friend.
The original Dos Equis guy, Jonathan Goldsmith, is sooooo much better than the new Augustin Legrand who, to me, looks like the world’s most uninteresting man.
“I once jammed with Mrs. Mildred Potter, who played mostly classical banjo.”
Brilliant. Keep it going and you could have this complement the Continent of Insults.
He looks like the type one would see prowling arouind in a windowless van looking for a date in a highway rest area.
And in 1989, he was arrested for stealing a van from a car dealership…
Gee whiz, what a surprise.
He’s just the kind of go-getter that the proud but humble woman owned business that Hack works for needs. The PBHWOB was just awarded a contract to provide the software to operate the Army’s EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle, and this guy has the intrinsic values to get the job done.
When your profile picture highlights your thinning hair and receding hairline, but the text says you “have all your hair” that might be a clue that you aren’t 100% honest.
Seems like this clown is fishing for women at the shallow end of the gene pool….
He has all his hair. It’s just on his back now. You see, as you get older, your hair gets tired and can’t make it all the way to your head. So it just grows as close to your head as it can get. Your back, your nose, your ears…
Like the old saying goes; Hair today gone tomorro.
When your profile picture is a drooling, meat gazing stare.
Before I saw the charge of rape my cop sense was tingling that this guy is a sex criminal. I wouldn’t have predicted elderly women to be his thing.
I agree with you. I thought for sure he was a kiddie diddler with his dating profile talking so much about kids. How does this guy have VA benefits?
He’s got that Terry Thomas smile. Those of you who asked “Who?” just fahgettaboutit.
I guess you have to be “of a certain age”. I’m not sure I’m liking that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hln19l9RtWg
“Preoccupation with bosoms….”
Always wondered what the offspring of Terry Thomas and Lauren Hutton would look like…
Madonna.
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Madonna+Celebs+Before+Famous+QOwBuzOxHtYl.jpg
http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Madonna+Celebs+Before+Famous+MY48QAEZj-Ul.jpg
The Grand Canyon?
PAUL JOESPH ANDERSON JR is a loser
WTF is your problem at least you trued when most
Wouldn’t
Now you are forever google famous
Enjoy
Tried
WTF is it with spell check not working
Not a seal, not FBI, next you’re going to tell me that he does not cuddle after sexually assaulting senior citizens.
Paul Joseph Anderson Jr. was discharged as a Seaman after only 6 months and 10 days in the Navy. Paul Joseph Anderson Jr. was never a SEAL, never a Master Chief, Never a Combat Veteran, never retired from the military, and was never SWCC.
Google hit.
He doesn’t look like he does 500 push-ups and 500 sit-ups a day. He looks like he pushes food into his mouth 500 times a day, and sits up 500 times a day to reach for more food.
Since I found this site, I have seen fake SEALs, fake Rangers, a fake general, some fake firemen etc etc but a fake MCPON is pretty unique
This will probably start a trend. Pretty soon there’ll be a clown featured here who claims to be a retired former CJCS…
Some years ago we had a guy in northern California telling everyone he was a 4-star Brigadier.
I like to tell other veterans that I was a full bird Spec. Four. That always gets a grin.
Anderson: How the hell do you get shit canned from sub school for academic reasons in less than a week? I’ve known some world class morons, but none can compete with you.
BTW, thank you for your service.
Another question, please. Are you eligible for VA care? I ask b/c it appears your name MAY have surfaced in a news article that also had information concerning the VA. If so, how the hell do you get VA care for a six month ‘career’? Did you catch the PTSD when you got shit canned from the Navy? Did your feelings getting hurt result in your getting the PTSD? I’m asking for a friend. Again, thank you for your extensive service to our nation.
BTW, you suck.
HMC Ret: Wonder if he is using a forged DD214 to use a VA Hospital, unless he is entitled to it with 6 months under his belt? Anyone know? Thank You.
Not going to be good for Paul Joseph Anderson if he is found guilty. Think it may qualify him to registered as a Sex Offender.
I seem to remember that prior to Sep 1980 only 180 days of service was required to qualify for VA benefits (along with a discharge that is “other than dishonorable”). Plus, those medically discharged are eligible for VA medical care regardless.
If PTBH is correct above and the fakery was never discovered, barring a fraudulent enlistment (e.g., hidden preexisting disqualifying medical condition later discovered by the military leading to discharge) my guess is he’s eligible for VA bennies.
It looks like the Facebook page was created after his arrest for sexual assault. Given the timing, the page’s focus on his looking for a woman, and the fact that it’s just over the top in so many ways, I suspect there’s a good chance that he didn’t create the page, but someone else did as a way to mock him.
Ass hamster 1st class. He’s so full of shit, his blue eye is brown!
Do the job, then you can talk about it. You have no clue. Never will.
Turd.
Hey now… I think this is just a minor misunderstanding. The poor guy appears to be a legit Master Gardener and merely mis-typed this as Master Chief. Haven’t we all made similar mistakes? He probably just fat-fingered the keyboard when he was trying to spell out Master Chief Pottery Officer. His arms are probably just so bulky from the 500 push-ups a day that he can’t even properly fit himself over the keyboard.
…actually I kind of doubt he even has Master Gardener quals… So, this might also be the first case of Stolen Agriculture Valor on TAH.
He is a Master Chef trained in some of the best culinary schools all over the world.
I heard he can make a Creme Brulee that will make you cry, and that’s before he whoops your ass.
I know I am late on the ball, but he claims to have left the Navy May 10, 1979 after 18 years. This mean he enlisted in 1951, lets say he was 18 then – this gives a birthdate in 1933.
That would make him 85.
He of course must have meant that he joined in 1979 (even if that’s not what his FB says, nor what actually happened since he joined in 1973).
Weird to lie about an entry date that is later than the real entry date?!