Mike Zinna; phony Air Force spy
I’ve never heard of this Mike Zinna guy before today, but someone knows who he is because they sent me some links and his FOIA. He seems quite litigious, too, so that sparked some of my interest. But, it appears he’s a radio talk show host in Denver who brags about his secret squirrel days in the Air Force, like in his bio;
Yeah, yeah, six years, TS clearance, off the books. I don’t know how you “earn” a Top Secret clearance, you either pass the investigation or you don’t. There’s no promotion or pay raise involved. Well, here’s his FOIA;
Well, 27 months is almost like six years, right? And an Airman Basic after two years of service, yeah, that’s the kind of guys who have Top Secret clearances. Of course, Zinna would probably explain it away that the Secret Service altered his records to embarrass him.
But, seriously, do you know how bad you have to suck in the Air Force to only get one ribbon in two years? You have to work at that shit.
The Secret Service sent me this surveillance photo of Zinna from his Air Force days;
Category: Phony soldiers
Can’t say I care much this POS cited, but I have captured the Secret Squirrel pix.
AB? Shucks, I sewed on A1C between Basic and Tech School!
Should I be tickled that the Air Force is the target of this one? Seems like we don’t really get our fair share of them…
I’m certain soup sandwich was worth more than the AF’s fair share…
Well, yes, that seriously is very true!
Yeah, but you’ll notice he said “the military” and didn’t admit to being in the Air Force.
Phew! That DOES make me feel much better about his “service!” Thanks, Jonn.
Toooooooooo Funnnnnnny. Damn near killed me. Called my wife in just to see The Secret Squirrel. She’s still laughing!
I saved Genghis Gunny and look at it when I need a laugh. Secret Squirrel is joing him.
This from Zinna’s web page, “Born and raised in Queens, NY, Zinna’s “other side of the tracks” upbringing and affinity for mob movies makes him unusually adept at analogizing politics and organized crime.” Um, yeah, watching “mob movies” and being brought up in the Queens makes him “adept” at analogizing, whatever the hell that means, politics and organized crime.
I do like the self portrait of Zinna, though.
Clearances? We can get more than one?
How does that work that he could have served for 27 months? Can someone clue me in on that? When I was in–back when dinosaurs roamed– the basic stint was 24 months.
Clearances may be like bronze stars – if you are VERY special, you can get more than one?
Several clues there – notice no school beyond basic, the transcript of court martial trial is “Not in file” instead of NA, and having been awarded the AF Training Ribbon, it would seem that he actually completed Basic satisfactorily. Should we guess that some time after Basic (and perhaps even a promotion?) he was busted for some serious infraction, court-martialed and discharged?
Only way to leave the AF after 27 mo as an AB is to be busted back to it. (If you enter with zero stripes you get an auto promotion to AMN E2 after 4 mo. and then A1C after 24 no.) So secret squirl did something to earn him self a reduction in rank and discharge.
-Ish
Thanks.
Douchebag alert!
That’s absolutely correct. Two years of service and out as an AB means he screwed the pooch.
I’m totally stealing the secret squirrel picture…
2-17, just double checked with a friend who is on a stint as a recruiter, and while shortest enlistment DOD wide is 24 mo. typically the AF dosen’t sign any initial ones any shorter than 36 no, mainly because tech school for many fields run 6mo or longer, so we try to get at least 24 actual working mo out of a new airman.
-Ish
AirCav – I don’t completely know how to interpret all the clues in there. That Training Ribbon thing is a puzzle because they changed the rules several times. It was instituted long after I had done basic and my initial schools. I was awarded it later for additional technical training (not to include things like NCO Academy and such). Around that time, they did not award it just for making it through Basic, but don’t quote me too widely on that one. I just don’t know if that was changed and if so just when it would have taken effect.
Thanks again. Got it.
Yeah – never heard of anything other than either 3 or 6 year initial enlistments in the USAF. There are circumstances where folks are offered a 1 year reenlistment, but that may apply to all branches.
So why did the Security Investigators get a Win with Zinna, but a tragic Fail with Manning?
Okay I’m not sure what the rule were in the mid 80s, but I finished my recruiting tour in 2008, and this is how the enlistments break down. Standard enlistment is 4 yrs. If you come in with no stripes, you put on E2 @ 6 mos w/ commanders approval. If you enlist for 6 yrs w/no stripes you put on E3 when you graduate tech school. There are a small number of 2 yr enlistments offered, but that did not come into effect until post 9/11. At 27 months he should have at least been an E3. When someone gets out at 27 months as an E1, they are geting booted out. Regarding the basic training ribbon, everyone gets it at graduation. I wish the FOIA stated his AFSC. I’m also puzzled why it didn’t llist his tech school. Back in the 80s there were still some admin AFSCs that did not have a formal tech school, but very few. SJAFB is a fighter wing, not a training base, so I don’t think he was stil in the training pipeline when he got the boot. By all appearances, it seems he was a dirtbag airman was shown the door.
“After earning Top Secret Security Clearances in the military, Zinna performed intel work for the U.S. Government on and off the books for six years.”
Maybe the 27 months in the AF was the “on the books” part of his secret squirrel work for the gummint? I mean, you don’t want to raise too many flags with other intel interests of how really badass you are if you have a chest full of ribbons and arm full of stripes on your records. He went deep deep undercover (H/T Axel Foley) at the 27 month mark and spent the next 45 months in trenchcoat and fedora; perhaps?
“Because Zinna is steadfastly non-partisan and pays no heed to ideology, he tends to piss-off powerful people of all stripes. Zinna believes that you call a spade a spade, and anything less is simply dishonest rhetoric. Zinna enjoys nothing more than driving his point home with a 10 lb. sledgehammer of flagrant and often tasteless humor – an unusual trait for an investigative journalist.”
LMAO
Does this chucklehead realize that the 10 lb. sledgehammer is now swing in his direction? Talk about dishonest rhetoric; this guy must look in the mirror when he thinks that. I’m glad he appreciates ad believes in calling a spade a spade, because I believe that, too, and I’m calling him a fraud. Tasteless humor? Okay; you’re a flaming window licking, shortbus riding chimp as well.
OT, that must be it. The GRU, FSB and KGB were onto him, so he went deep undercover, disappeared from Seymour-Johnson, and began his secret squirrel career as a….secret squirrel.
And, in a bizarre twist of irony, Zinna actually convinced 3 Occutards that he’s a legitimate source of anything.
@25. It’s a absolutely brilliant approach that you have exposed, if I understand it correctly. Zinna is using his Secret Squirrel persona as a Secret Squirrel. He broadcasts his Secret Squirrelhood figuring that others will disregard it as the ravings of a lunatic, a charlatan, a…Secret Squirrel. But–and here’s the big ole butt–he does this because he is, in fact, a Secret Squirrel. Is that it?
FUCKIN MANNING!!! Why’d you go and mention that little twerp?! I hope they stick that weasel in a deep, dark hole for a very, very long time.
AirCav, you’ve got it. Zinna is hiding in plain sight. Who would ever suspect that the secret squirrel is really the Secret Squirrel?
Alternate theory- He’s still employed (off the books, of course, as he claims) by the air force, but in the role of a “Tokyo Rose”- type broadcaster, using fake vet status and saying retarded shit to demoralize other fake vets.
BBC Voice: “We interrupt our normal programming for an important message for our friends across the water.
The Secret Squirrel has dropped his nuts.The Secret Squirrel has dropped his nuts.
We now return you to our normal programming.”
After my last comment, I found this email in my inbox and I was asked to post it here. Quite frankly, I am too afraid not to post it so here you are:
It’s time for me to lay it out for all of you. This game has to end sometime so it may as well end now. Secret Squirrel is not a lone operative. He is but one of a number of special agents (largely unknown to one another) known collectively as the Organization of Secret Squirrels–the OSS. A cover story –that the OSS was effectively disbanded after WW I and its agents subsumed by a successor, the CIA—proved greatly successful. In fact, don’t you yourself believe it? Of course you do. See? This cover, my deeply entrenched operatives inform me, was perfected by Rule X. This is the provision in every Secret Squirrel contract that prohibits a squirrel from ever leaving the OSS. So, you may ask, how do Secret Squirrels retire? They don’t. Secret Squirrels who mention retirement or begin to slip or slow down are eliminated. Each elimination is made to look like an accident—crossing a power line, darting out in traffic. Didn’t you ever wonder how squirrels who are so sharp and alert when hunters are about can be so stupid as to run under wheels or electrocute themselves? Right. Those aren’t accidents. That’s Rule X being applied. So there you have it. Yes, Zinna is a Secret Squirrel. In fact, I recruited him and sanitized his DD-214.
Regards, Gordo
Well, that clears that up, AC.
Thanks!!
Kinda makes me wonder if the angry lesbian pirate (Wolf) is also OSS…You know, since we don’t have the clearance to look at her DD-214 and all….heh heh heh. 😐
AC, #30 is my signature for life. Woke the cats laughing.
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should of been SPEC OPS SHIT-BIRD!