QUANTICO, Va. — The first confirmed case of the COVID-19 coronavirus in a U.S. military member has been traced to a Marine putting his hands in his pockets last week, according to sources. Pentagon sources say the unidentified Marine put his hands in his pockets for upwards of 30 seconds, despite strict orders from his command sergeant major that ‘That’s daggone nasty.’ ‘These young Marines fail to realize that we make these rules for a reason. This devil dog put a whole platoon’s lives at risk by digging his filthy fingers around in his trouser pockets where they don’t belong,’ shouted Marine Corps Chief Customs and Courtesies Enforcer Sgt. Maj. Forrest Stone. “He’s lucky those NCOs set him straight and got those hands out of there before he pulled up something even worse.”
According to Marine Corps intelligence reports, Marines’ trouser pockets harvest a number of deadly viruses, bacteria, and other biological hazards. Marines are not at risk of exposure to these dangers as long as they keep their hands out of their pockets. But according to expert E-8s, even penetrating the tip of one’s finger into a pocket for less than a second can expose a Marine to infection.
I was always told that just using the tip was safe…now this.
Source: First case of coronavirus traced to Marine putting hands in pockets
Category: Humor, None
…and I feel fine.
Damn Dave, the Sarge was just trying to put his gun into the carry or maybe support arms position. Or he could have been ‘splaining the difference between his rifle and his gun.
He mighta-been checking the Safety on his Pocket Rocket!
And what will wearing white cotton socks with your combat boots cause? Super corona virus? The boys over at the Duffle Blog really are the best.
I bet it was a Motor T guy with a low and loose and his cover set on the back of his head. Not that I would know.
3531. The only real MOS there is.
“Ma’am. This ribbon right here is my National Defense Service Medal. It’s kinda of a big deal.
Why are you laughing? Ma’am? Ma’am?”
Pockets ? Pockets?? I thought they were called Army Gloves
Affirmative. As in “Get your nasty dick beaters out of your Army Gloves”.
Probably should put this in the previous coronavirus thread, but this thread will have to suffer my tale of woe.
My bride is in rehab for a broken leg. She also has COPD and is no spring chicken so she is in the high risk category. I’ve been working hard with the rehab folks to get her and our home prepared for her coming home with ‘no weight bearing’ on her casted leg for at least two more months.
Today, I went to Costco to look for a bed we can put on our main floor. The lines were nearly halfway back in the store! Screw that noise, so went to a regular mattress place. Probably cost me a hundred bucks more but worth not putting up with the panickers. Went to Home Depot for wood to build a wheelchair ramp, and that went fine. After unloading stuff, I went to the rehab facility to see the bride. “No, you cannot come in”,they tell me. We’re semi-screwed. I have no idea if I am going to be cleared to be my bride’s caretaker when she gets home. I have no doubt I can do it, but it is better if I have the rehab’s imprimatur.
All this panicking by those the virus likely won’t kill is actually hurting those of us in the high risk category. What oldster can stand in long lines or go from store to store searching for TP or food stuff? My daughter just told me Costco was out of a bunch of meats. I am just a wee bit frustrated with all the insane panic. Not being able to see my best friend of 52 years and bride for 48 is really pissing me off.
Rant off, and thanks for the ear.
My brother is in Portland, OR. And his hair is on fire; he thinks half the population is going to die. I told him not to worry about that because Sheriff Joe covered that about a week ago when he noted that 150,000,000 of our population was already killed by gun violence last year.
Pine Bluff has 4 or 5 confirmed cases and several exposures from them. Shoppers going batshit crazy. The Little Rock AFB Pharmacy Commander was kind enough to let me fill our prescriptions early as a preparation. Went to the commissary and have never seen checkout lines that long, not even before Thanksgiving. The floor manager did stellar hands on work in expediting the lines and I recommended him to DeCA for a step increase. My wait in line was only about 30 minutes. I should mention the Commissary also had pallets of toilet paper on the floor. I asked how long the madness was going on and was told two days. Lots of empty spaces, such as chicken pot pies. The good news was when I stocked up at Class Six, plenty on the shelves and no line. Stopped by the Jacksonville Wal-Mart in my never ending quest for Very Berry ice cream and those lines to check out were out of sight. The good news was no Very Berry. Where do our spouses come up with requests like that anyway.
BHWHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!
Terminal Lance had a similar take:
https://terminallance.com/2020/03/03/terminal-lance-la-enfermedad-fina/
That bald spot didn’t get there on it’s own.
He was just checking out his “Pocket Troops” and getting them to stand tall.
Never heard of them?
“One Eyed Jack” is my favorite Pocket Troop (:42 mark). 😉