School is almost out….
Seth Borenstein, a hippie whiner, wrote an article on how everything is going to pieces and it’s All Our Fault. The guilt trip we’re supposed to be on has not yet hit me, but he is quite adamant about it all. https://www.chicoer.com/2018/06/19/looking-for-signs-of-global-warming-its-all-around-you/
Unfortunately, his article includes a photo of Venice during a high water episode, which is nothing new in Venice. The city sits on a very ancient marsh, which became a bog, which became a settlement, and eventually, turned into Venice, the city built on water. And Venice is very slowly, but surely, sinking, not experiencing “global warming”. That’s a problem for the Venetians. Right now, they’re in a Very Low Water Level status, and worried.
There’s also a letter of protest from an upset resident of Chico, who says people who don’t understand science can’t vote and can’t hold public office. That’s her view, but it violates the US Constitution and the 15th Amendment.
https://www.chicoer.com/2018/06/24/letter-if-you-dont-understand-science-you-cant-vote/
Here’s the gist of it: Why are people still voting for a man who is ignorant concerning proven scientific evidence that we are slowly destroying our home planet by human practices? These are the same type of people who refused to believe the Earth is round and not flat. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I propose a new voting requirement. If you aren’t smart enough to understand science you can’t vote and you can’t be an elected official. I am holding Republicans responsible for destroying my planet. — Nancy L. XxxX, Chico
She wants to take our basic Constitutional right away from us, despite the additional emphasis provided by the 15th Amendment (and others). In view of her low information level about a bunch of things, and her demand that a science test be passed in order to qualify to vote or hold office, I pulled out all the stops from 4th, 5th, and 6th grade and came up with these general science test questions, which any of us born before 2001 should be able to answer.
1 – Does the Moon orbit the Earth? How long does it take? Why does it change shape?
2 – Does the Earth orbit the Sun or does the Sun orbit the Earth? (I made that one up, but it belongs here, just for Nancy.)
3 – Why do some trees change color in the fall and others do not? What is the difference between deciduous trees and non-deciduous trees? What trees produce maple syrup?
4 – What is the difference between dogs and humans? Give examples for each.
5 – Why do we have seasons?
6 – How long is the longest day, and when does it happen? How short is the shortest day, and when does it happen? How many hours are there in a day?
7 – Why does the ocean have tides?
8 – What is a tidal bore? Give an example.
9 – What is a solar system? How far away is the Sun? Is the Sun a star?
10 – Who invented the electric light bulb. How many experiments did he create and conduct?
11 – What is the chemical formula for each of the following: A) water; B) salt; C) dry ice; D) household ammonia
12 – How are fish and land animals different?
13 – What is a good way to stop erosion in farmland?
14 – Why are crops rotated?
15 – What kinds of plants fix nitrogen in the soil?
That’s a 10-gallon hat in that photo, right?
Remember, students, the sillier your answers are, the higher your score will be.
It’s Friday and the 4th of July is coming up. Happy Summer!!!!
Category: "Teh Stoopid", "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves"
All the answers are the same: CLIMATE CHANGE AND GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
No, all the answers are, “It’s Trump’s fault!”
*grin*
And nazis and death camps.
Arrogant bitch Nancy from Chico…anyone STUPID enough to live in Chico Kalifornia would think that all science and scientists are truthful, should not be allowed to post ANYTHING ANYWHERE imho
“What is a tidal bore” “Why is Nancy of Chico Kalifornia a human bore”?
There were all a snap except one: “What trees produce maple syrup?” Is there an Aunt Jemima tree?
I believe it’s the Mrs. Butterworth tree.
Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup comes from a bush. You should know that. It’s your quiz.
Oh, bother! Caught red-handed!
Yes. They grow them in the same area as the Uncle Ben’s rice paddies.
So MRS D and I are in Safeway last week, and she puts a box of Uncle Ben’s on the conveyer. I asked her “If your buying white rice, does that make you a ricist?”. Cashier was in tears and I’m still in timeout.
All trees that produce maple syrup? wasn’t that right next to “who is buried in Grants tomb”?
When I’m king I will require the successful completion of literacy and civics tests prior to granting one the privilege to vote.
Here, here. They should also be taught cursive writing.
NO…thee is enough “cursing” on here and we don’t need more “cursive” writing 😉
Cursive writing?
What the hell is that?
While we are at it, let’s teach everybody cuneiform writing.
GET TO BED Yef, you have Weekend Police Call at 0600!
What are the odds that Nancy L. XxxX of Chico has a degree in Transgendered Studies and works as a barista at a Starbuxxx?
I’m sure she has at least a Masters in Lesbian Dance Theory.
As well as a Minor in Underwater Basket Weaving.
I thought her last name was love & kisses.
I offer a counter-proposal: if you don’t know the ten Constitutional Amendments that make up the Bill of Rights, at least in gist if not verbatim text, you can’t vote or hold office. Maybe we could even get strict and add the rest of the Constitution, as well as the Federalist Papers!
Perhaps passing the USICS Civics Test administered prior to naturalization would be apropos.
Used to have to pass the US Constitution test and State Constitution test in order to get out of 8th grade.
Had to learn the Preamble in the 4th grade. Can still cite it even though it was a long time ago.
I don’t know if it was 4th grade for me (because this came out later than that, BUT, I sure as hell learned it and can recite it today as well. (Note: But I can’t do it without singing it, LOL)
Careful. Duh libruls would get hurt and cry for their safe spaces were you to play such jingoistic propaganda in their presence.
The first thing these kids should learn at school to get squared away is the Three Stooges alphabet song. Easy to learn on youtube.
No child’s educatinn is complete without Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tom & Jerry, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, and all the other cartoons from the 1950s.
Furthermore, the Smurfs have been out of work since 2000 and are thinking of having a protest march.
Ex,
I miss Speedy Gonzales.
Just saying.
On the new Looney Toons show, Speedy owns a pizza joint.
That’s cultural appropriation!
/sarc
I miss him, too. Lots more fun that Mickey ever was.
A cry from a by gone era
And his cousin Slow Poke Rodriguez.
I miss the Frito Bandito.
Ex-PH2: I learned Opera from watching Bugs Bunny and Looney Tunes.
🎵”Kill the Wabbit..Poor Wittle Bunny”..🎵
There was an excellent ‘cartoon’ out about 15 years ago. Because it was so good, extolling the virtues of the American patriots and providing what today would be called an old school history lesson, it didn’t last long at all. It was called Liberty’s Kids and it is, indeed, for all ages above 5 or so. It’s available on DVD for a pittance.
So that’s where Limbaugh got the idea for his Rush Revere books?
I miss the Fox and the Crow. I loved that crow with his derby hat and stogie. And the Brooklynese accent.
Durn it, Jeff LPH 3, 63-66, now I can’t get “B-A, Bay, B-E, Be” outta my head!
😎
The Alphabet Song is like “Makin’ Bacon Pancakes.” Once you learn it, your life belongs to it for weeks and weeks and weeks.
Wait, am I missing something? How does a requirement to pass a basic science test (which I wouldn’t be opposed to either, along with proving citizenship, btw) to vote or hold run for office violate the 15th amendment?
“The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.”
If I interpret it correctly, it only concerns itself with denying voting rights based on race and having been a slave.
No, you’re not missing anything. I should probably have included the 17th, 19th, 23rd, 24th and 26th in that.
In regard to the 15th amendment, without it, someone could decide to deny you the right to vote in any election if you are a white person.
All right, I had to look these up but a quick summary would be:
15: can’t deny vote based on race
17: popular election of senators (as opposed to state choice)
19: can’t deny vote based on sex
23: establishes the number of electors DC is allotted
24: can’t deny vote based on failure to pay a (poll)tax
26: can’t deny vote based on age, if voter is 18+
I also found the following relevant:
4.3: no one can hold office without swearing an oath to uphold the constitution or if previously engaged in traitorous activities (exceptions can be granted by 2/3 vote in both houses)
9: rights NOT mentioned in the constitution are also protected (very vague, IMO)
IANAL, but IMO that leaves the government a surprisingly large number of legal reasons that could be used to deny someone the vote, including hair color, left-handedness, incarceration status, party affiliation, intelligence, or in this case, the ability to pass a test (your test was pretty good indicator, btw). The only real amendment I can see protecting against that would be the 9th, which could be construed to mean that the right of stupid people to vote and run for office shall not be infringed based on their stupidity (otherwise congress would have a hard time filling all its seats). SCNR
I think you missed the “biggie” that applies: Amendment 14, Clause 2:
Seems to me that that portion of the 14th Amendment – coupled with the 19th and 26th Amendments, which guarantee the right to vote for women and lower the age for voting to 18 in Federal elections – makes the right to vote one that is specifically guaranteed under the Constitution for all US citizens 18 and over who have not lost that right via due process of law. Yes, states could in theory deny voting rights for ridiculous reasons. However, if any state choose to deny voting rights for any reason except forfeiture of same via due process of law (e.g., criminal conviction, court declaration of mental incompetence, or failure to register), then that state would lose some or all of their representation in Congress – specifically, in the House of Representatives. Rather severe consequences.
Alright, let me see how I do without cheating, looking anything up, or peeking at other’s answers. 1 – Of course it does. 28 days. I’d assume the moon changes shape due to tidal stresses between the Earth and the sun. 2 – Earth orbits the sun. Duh. 3 – Deciduous trees lose their leafs, coniferous don’t. Maple trees make maple syrup as well as Canadian flags. 4 – Dogs are a four-legged, fur-covered canid species. Humans are bi-pedal and allegedly of higher intelligence. 5 – We have seasons because the Earth is titled off axis from the sun, causing the Earth to “wobble” as it orbits the sun. 6 – All the days are the same length; 24 hours. 7 – The ocean tides are caused by gravitational pull from the moon. 8 – Not sure on a tidal bore. I assume it’s when Nancy Pelosi opens her feckless c**t and yammers on about something she knows nothing about. 9 – A solar system is the bulk of everything within the gravitational influence of a star. In our case, the sun is our star. Our solar system includes the sun, nine planets (cause I’ll be in the cold, cold ground before I de-recognize Pluto! dagnabit), the asteroid belt, the kuiper belt, and hundreds of other transient bodies. The sun is exactly 1 AU away. I know that’s a cop out, but I’m ready to defend that answer. 10 – Edison is credited with inventing the electric bulb, but he really just perfected it and made it last long enough to be useful. If I remember right, he made several hundred test samples before landing on his carbon filament in a vacuum. 11 – Water = H20, Salt = NaCl, Dry ice = CO2, ammonia I do not remember off hand. 12 – Fish live in water, breed and reproduce in water with eggs, have scales, and draw oxygen from the water. Animals, I assume you’re asking about mammals, live on land, have skin (sometimes with fur), give birth to live young, and breathe oxygen from air. 13 – Plant… Read more »
You did just fine. You still get a gold star on your answer sheet.
Now go play in the pond, be home before the street lights come on, and wash your hands before you eat anything.
15 – Legumes (i.e. Soybeans)
Lesson to the wise…
Never give your dog the beans and weenies leftovers…
The weenies ain’t too bad, but…
The beans are, well, uh, truly not the right thing to give to a dog with intestinal issues anyway…
It was so bad my neighbor asked me if I had killed someone and was using them for compost material…
Bet they don’t know who is buried in Grant’s tomb…or what President is on the $100 Bill…
😉
Well, don’t tell them!!! We have to have some secrets left in the world!
Ben Franklin was my favorite President.
That and Hamilton are the ones that will blow people’s minds. At least those who aren’t students of history.
You are aware that the answer isn’t President Grant?
I’ll take a short stack of Salmon P. Chase Gold Certificate bills, if you please./smile
Here’s a bonus question:
Some plants are self-pollinating. Does that make them transgender?
No, it makes them inveterate jerk-offs.
#1!
Thank you!!
The same scientific geniuses who can’t figure out what is or is not between their legs and therefore don’t know which bathroom to use??
I’ll pass on their opinions, thank you.
If the religious followers of High Priest Algore want to decrease CO2 emissions they can start by capping all volcanos to prevent eruptions.
Global Warming + Global Cooling = Climate Change. We used to call it winter, spring, summer, and fall.
Ex-PH2: Here are some of my answers in hopes I get a gold star along with Kool-Aid and graham crackers:
Q: How are fish and land animals different?
A: Fish do not have drumsticks; majority of land animals do.
Q: Why does the ocean have tides?
A: Because sea merchants could not afford paying for the other brand name detergent.
Q: What are tidal bores?
A: Someone who swamps YouTube with videos of young folks competing in the TidePods challenge.
Q: Why do we have seasons?
A: Because they make the land animal drumsticks taste good.
Q: What is the difference between dogs and humans? Give examples for each.
A: Dogs can jump at high lengths to catch a Frisbee between their teeth. Humans can’t. Also, most humans use toilet paper to clean their buns. Dogs lick themselves in that area to stay clean. And last, dogs can lick their private parts. Most humans can’t.
Q: Is the Sun a star?
A: Depends based on movie and music sales as well as TV rating and YouTube hits.
Q: How many hours are there in a day?
A: Depends if it is the longest day or the shortest day.
Why do Police Dogs lick their butts?
It gets the taste of the hippies out of their mouths.
You get two gold stars, Another Pat!
Thank you, Ex-PH2! 😃😄
Why is the beach wet?
because the seaweed
Don’t have time to answer all of them because I’m pressed for time , but here are a few.
Q: Why does the moon change shape?
A: Because the mice from planet Ratatouille keep gnawing on it?
Q: What trees produce maple syrup?
A: The Pantry (Pan-tree)
Q: What is the difference between dogs and humans?
A: Dogs can put their butt on the carpet & scoot across it, naked humans can’t because in some circles it is highly frowned on….especially in front of the bosses wife or weddings.
Q: Why do we have seasons?
A: Because without salt or pepper, food would taste rather bland.
Q: How long is the longest day, and when does it happen?
A: When you stay out with the guys at a stripper party and come home late in the morning and the wife/girlfriend is not pleased.
Q: Why does the ocean have tides?
A: Are we talking “In-tide” or “Out-tide”?
Q: Who invented the light bulb.
A: Whomever drew this cartoon first.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2jABzAxPmaw1uhlqXBGc92wSwhLQX6UOt5DUv0DTrt6l7Uv2EjA
Q: How are fish and land animals different?
Fish screw in the water, animals do it on land.
Although, I do remember this one time late at night at the beach with a girl friend…….I believe alcohol was involved. 😉
That’s a 10-gallon hat in that photo, right?
Nope, those are a pair of glasses with a neck cord so you don’t lose them.
(Bet you thought I was going to say a dick)
Whew!!! My brain is tired, I’m heading over to the couch now.
You get an extra blue star for using your brain effectively.
“Whoever drew this cartoon first”? Thats a “Goofy” answer! 😉
Since most lefty snowflakes would answer questions 1 and 2 as no and neither because the moon, the sun, and the earth all revolve around them, all the other questions are irrelevant. Things are as they say they are simply because they say so. What’s wrong with you?
Well, I guess it’s because I’m normal, OWB. I have no confusion issues.
Are you sure you want to claim being normal? I quit aspiring to normalcy quite a while ago. After all it does mean average. Who wants to be average?
You sound healthy to me, and sane. I’d never accuse you of being average. 😉
Okay!!! Everybody gets a prize, which is a trip to watch Algore try to figure out how to get out of his bouncy house in a hurricane. Best answers I’ve seen so far, even if everyone missed the one about self-pollinating plants!
After that, pizza and cold drinks at the expense of Mad Maxine and Nanny Puglosi, and NO veggie stuff, unless it’s on the side!
So far it is a beautiful summer. Red sunrise this morning, meaning rain in a few days, and hot enough to make the ants sit up and take notice!
And I’m going back to my Regency novel while I wait for sundown!
Here’s a history question:
Q: Why did we pull our troops out of Vietnam in 1975? And the Korean Conflict?
A:
https://youtu.be/Fj5k6toS7i8
Kinnison is dead, and Kathy Griffin still lives. Shit aint fair.
I take this attitude about it:
Griffin will be forgotten and a has-been.
Sam will be immortal.
If Sam was still alive, the PC folks would be out to sandblast his comic material.
Bob Nelson did a skit about back then about Football that would now be labeled ” Politically Incorrect”. I still think it is hilarious:
https://youtu.be/BerJdS2VJhA
Griffin had her face tightened too many times, causing dane bramage.
I’ll take a stab at these. 1 – Does the Moon orbit the Earth? How long does it take? Why does it change shape? Yes. ~30 days. It doesn’t change shape. The same side of the moon faces Earth. So as it goes around on its orbit, the sunlight hits a different part of the moon. Essentially, you’re seeing “The Dark side of the moon” (with apologies to Pink Floyd). 2 – Does the Earth orbit the Sun or does the Sun orbit the Earth? (I made that one up, but it belongs here, just for Nancy.) For normal people, the Earth orbits the Sun. However, if you’re one of those flattards, ‘scuse me, a flat earther, then the Sun orbits the earth. 3 – Why do some trees change color in the fall and others do not? Because they know you don’t wear white after labor day? What is the difference between deciduous trees and non-deciduous trees? One knows how to make up their minds, the other doesn’t. Ohhhh, deciduous. I thought that was decisions. What trees produce maple syrup? I’d rather have a money tree. 4 – What is the difference between dogs and humans? Give examples for each. Dogs are flexible enough to lick their own asses. If you’re a dog nobody will yell at you if you sit on the porch and lick your balls in full view of the neighborhood. 5 – Why do we have seasons? To determine which sport should be played. 6 – How long is the longest day, and when does it happen? It’s an eternity and it happens when you’re waiting to find out if your girlfriend is pregnant. How short is the shortest day, and when does it happen? The last day of vacation. How many hours are there in a day? Depends on if I’m working or on vacation. 7 – Why does the ocean have tides? Insert Tide Pod joke here. 8 – What is a tidal bore? Give an example. See answer to #7. 9 – What is a solar system? It’s where we are. How… Read more »
Superb! Two gold stars plus a Big Blue Star!
Okay, folks, give some of us a break. I live close enough to Chico that I go to the Outpatient Clinic there for medical stuff. Yeah, there’re plenty of snowflakes in the area, but it’s about 50 miles for me and I try to avoid the area around CSU Chico. The town is also the home of Anthony Watts, (wattsupwiththat) the biggest thorn in the side of Globull Warmenists you’ll ever see. Back in the day it was also the setting for a “Girls Gone Wild” episode. Butte County ain’t all bad. Chico is also the home of Aaron Rogers.