“Call me Chaos”

| March 3, 2017

Independent Journal Review journalist, Benny Johnson got a chance to bump into Defense Secretary James Mattis the other day and do an impromptu interview;

“When I go down to get my laundry in the basement, I factor in ten extra minutes every trip just so I can talk with people. Ya know, they see me coming down the hallway and want to ask something, they should be able to. We work just like a family.”

I asked the Secretary of Defense if he actually does his own laundry at the Pentagon. “Well, yes,” he said, looking at me as though it would be strange if he did not do his own laundry

When asked why he carries his own luggage, Mattis responded; “Well, I have two hands, don’t I?”

His aide was pulling him in another direction and I sensed this would be the final question, so I asked if anyone in the Pentagon calls him ‘Mad Dog.” He paused and said:

You know, that is not my real call sign? That was something made up by the press. Some reporter, who needed a quick name for me. My real name is Chaos. “Colonel Has An Outstanding Solution.” That is my real call sign and what my men used to call me. Anyone who has ever worked with me calls me Chaos. That’s the name I prefer.

I stood there, shellshocked from Mattis’s response. The Secretary of Defense leaned in toward me and said, “Call me Chaos,” winked, and walked away.

Category: Big Pentagon

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Wilted Willy

How about Mad Dog Chaos?

MrBill

That would be a good name for a rock band.

jonp

No Shit! I’m copywriting it.

ex-OS2

Chaos it is, General!

2/17 Air Cav

I love the reply to the stoopid question regarding the laundry. This is just a guess, I admit, but I bet he brushes his own teeth too.

FuzeVT

[Heard this from the colonel himself]
While the CO of the 31st MEU, Col John Merna was coming out of his state room in the BHR (LHD-6) when the new ship’s XO saw him in the passageway and asked, “They aren’t cleaning your room?” The Colonel replied, “Aren’t cleaning it? I DON’T LET ‘EM!”

2/17 Air Cav

JacktheJarhead

My favorite character on that show. It was one of the best comedy shows ever on TV. But that is Kaos with a K!

It is also nice to see that we have a Secretary of War who is not a pampered, snob, intellectual.

Just An Old Dog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXZia1AUKCE As opposed to many of the starred perfumed princes of the puzzle palace,,,,

2/17 Air Cav

I posted the above video–from my favorite character in my favorite TV show of all time because it is assumed that when General Mattis said “chaos” that it was that chaos and not KAOS. I like to think he had KAOS in mind.

Retired Grunt

Colonel Has An Outstanding Solution… C.H.A.O.SO. Apparently Secretary Mattingly defined it.

Retired Grunt

Damn fat fingers, I put in an extra O

26Limabeans

I think that makes it an interrogative.

Deplorable B Woodman

I am LOVING this administration! Real people, with real intelligence and experience, talking real sense.

SIR, YES SIR. GENERAL CHAOS IT IS, SIR!

Madconductor

What an absolutely stunning – and honest – comeback. And he made it so simple. Chaos works great!

Ex-PH2

Laughed so loud I woke the cat out of a perfectly good nap in the sun.

I have to ask: did the reporter tuck his tail between his legs and skitter out the door?

ChipNASA

If I was going to be gay, I’d be gay for General Mattis.
not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Just in a not homoerotic way, I just got a FREEDOM BONER!!

Fucking SAVAGE!!

68W58

“I have two hands, don’t I?”

Yes. Death and Devestation.

Thunderstixx

That’s good too!

Graybeard

The culture shock when the adults get control back again.

Love it.

Bill M

Ya know, after due consideration and much thought, hours of reflection and meditation, I have decided that I really like that Chaos guy!

And after reading ChipNASA’s reply, I think I’ll move over there. 😎

Old 1SG, US Army (retired)

We need to activate the “Cone of Silence”…

A Proud Infidel®™

Further proof that things these days are being run by ADULTS who wipe their own asses and expect their subordinates to do the same.

David

well, there’s the other view – isn’t the name of the guy in the suit in the Allstate ads who is always the GPS, or infotainment system, or whateer – he’s Chaos too.

Chaos to our enemies!

Aysel

He’s Mayhem, not Chaos 😉

CWORet

I take exception to the headline at the linked article: “Sec. Mattis Has a New Nickname to Replace ‘Mad Dog’… Oh, and He Does His Own Laundry at The Pentagon, Too”
It’s not a ‘New nickname’, dickhead!

Dinotanker

As David says: CHAOS to our enemies!

You know, Im pretty pissed of the CHAOS went to Washington, DC to kick ass and take names. In my mind, I was hoping he would stay here in the Other Washington and run for Governor. That would be a shock to the unicorn loving-snowflake-sparkleponies on the western side of the Cascades. Our current gov, was elected by 8 of 39 counties. That sucks, but when the bulk of your population lives in those counties, thinks hamburgers (if they even deign to eat them) come from Trader Vic’s free range non-GMO’d hipster grocery store, and cant function without some form of smart phone, what do I expect.

Go General Mattis! Then come back home and square the great state of Washington away.

Atkron

Damn right, I can’t stand Dimslee.

Poetrooper

States like Washington need a state version of the electoral college where each county’s vote counts more equally. There are too many states where all statewide elections are decided only by the urban areas, disenfranchising rural and small town voters.

It is, quite literally, taxation without representation.

borderbill (a NIMBY/BANANA)

This is old news-but worth the telling again. Goes to show how silly and puerile the press can be. They simply can’t recognize a warrior without trying to “hollywood” him. Keep our eyes on the objective, seize it. Gen Mattis, and others, will lead us outta the swamp that past administrations have gotten us into.

luddite4change

A few weeks ago SECDEF had a meeting with some foreign delegation. He had already received the briefing materials. A little after 5 he left his office walked out to the Regional Division Offices, knocked on the door. Was greated (after several rings) by a shocked LTC. Mattis walked to the back of the office, grabbed a folding chair and proceeded to have a 30 minute one on one conversation with the desk officer, to ensure he knew all the issues with country X.

No security, no aide, no horse holders. Just a leader being a leader.

jonp

I am so fucking glad adults that know what they are doing and not just checking some box on a quota sheet are back in charge.

Geetwillickers

The more I read about SECDEF Chaos, the more I wish I could drop 40 pounds (and about 10 years) and go see a recruiter.

To serve under a SECDEF who is an actual warfighter? What would that be like?

Ex-PH2

Get in line. And all I want is my GCM, but I have two separate enlistments….(whine)