Jesse Suhanec; dumbass private hiding in the mud

Specialist Atkinson, the hero, not Suhanec

Cactivet sends us a link to the story of Jesse Suhanec, a special snowflake private stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. For some reason he stole an M9 handgun and an Army van and took off for downtown. Kevin Anthony was driving by a parking lot where Suhanec was standing outside his vehicle. Suhanec took several shots at Anthony, hoping to steal Anthony’s truck. Anthony was struck a few times by bullets but he continued driving looking for help.

Meanwhile, Suhanec, tried unsuccessfully to car jack some rides. As police closed in on him, Suhanec says that his “training took over” and he stripped off his clothes and tried to hide in a mudhole – which worked for a while until hypothermia started taking over;

Suhanec then went to a nearby home and surrendered to a couple, who held him at gunpoint until officers could arrive, prosecutors said.

I guess that I missed that part of my training that would take over so that I’d take my clothes off and lay in the mud.

At the Fox affiliate, Q13, they tell the story of the soldier who rescued Anthony;

Army Specialist Jonah Atkinson was on his way to lunch when he saw the shooting victim slumped over in his car. That’s when Atkinson said his military training kicked in and he was able to give the victim life-saving medical attention.

“He was just completely out of it and gasping for air,” he said.

Atkinson stanched the flow of blood until the EMTs arrived. Somehow I think that’s more related to military training than hiding in the mud.

Atkinson might have helped save the man’s life but he doesn’t want to be called a hero.

“I helped save somebody’s life, I’ve never had to do that,” he said. “I was just in the right place at the right time. I hope if I was the one in the situation, another bystander would be willing to help.”

Yeah, that’s more like it, actually. By the way, that’s Specialist Atkinson in the photo, not mudboy.

Category: Dumbass Bullshit