Worse Ahead – Satire?
With the influx of possibly bad intentioned/diseased illegal immigrants from down south AND talk of actually bringing Ebola patients HERE for treatment there are rumors that there may be worse to come!!!!
This cute little critter has been mentioned among some groups as the perfect pet for those with allergies to cats and dogs. Justification for importing this sweet little thing is that domestic pets have ALWAYS had more primitive and dangerous ancestors, so it will become tame/housebroken if we only give it a chance. Apparently this is the current logic?
Imagine waking up with this cutie sleeping on yer head.
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The article that spurred this kinda sad attempt at satire is here, All things considered it really ain’t satire to see the uproar from some groups if this ever came into question. And it does mention puppies.
Category: Geezer Alert!
Gawdalmighty, I HATE SPIDERS!!!!!
Seriously, I hate the fucking things. We have wild tarantulas around here, which I HATE. I found one in me bedroom one time when I was nineteen and almost shot the fucker. I say “almost” because the freakish, ungodly, heinous, hell spawned, GINORMOUS FUCKING SPIDER was between me and my loaded magazines. My little sister walked in and found me curled up in the opposite corner with an empty .45 in my hand, begging her to toss me a mag. I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t simultaneously both horrifying and emasculating when she picked it up barehanded and took it outside. And them she just HAD to tell my Dad about the whole episode. Yeah, that was a fun conversation about how I was definitely NOT going to be shooting holes in his floor over a damned spider…
What you said.
Spiders are spawn of the Evil One, and the only good one, is a DEAD one!
At least you had the correct caliber … 🙂
You have to use a .45 on a tarantula; they charge when they’re wounded.
I wish we could post pictures.
I’ve got a husband and wife spider pair that have teamed up outside by the pool to build a web of biblical proportion. Right now my daughter and her friend are catching flies and throwing them into the web, with the anticipated response from the spiders.
Tarantulas don’t bother me all that much. Out here in Tucson, they’re pretty common. It’s those damn Arizona Bark scorpions that put worry in my head. Stepped on one barefoot the other day; how I didn’t get stung is beyond me.
Tarantulas are nifty. The Black Widows here (where in Tucson are you?) are not as much fun.
Ooooh. Spiders are sooo cool! And they eat creepy, crawly things.
But, TOW? Thanks for that story. It’s much better than what I’ve been using to describe overreacting. 😉
I have to hope that the human hand is further in the background than it appears….if not I vote for a Shotgun Spider Hunting Season.
Spiders are like All Points Logistics senior managers.
The only good ones are dead ones.
Zero Ponsdorf…On the non-satirical side of your post we DO have a problem in this country with imbeciles. Human imbeciles of course. Heads up before anyone gets upset, these folks in this example are NOT regarded by me as imbeciles. That said, the debate rages all the time about, for instance, pit bulls. Those who own them, hail their friendliness with the kids and that “they’d never bite anyone”. On the other side are those who recognize pit bulls are bred historically from a long line to be attack, fight to the death, killing dogs. Personally I wouldn’t own one. Too much insurance liability if they behave badly, which usually turns into a local news story or bigger. But for those who have them and love them, great. Just train them well and keep a strong leash on them while walking and I’m okay. To each their own as far as the dog they love, as long as they’re responsible dog owners, regardless of breed. This is just my prep example of the big issue for me, coming next. Next there are those and I consider them to be the true imbeciles, who believe snakes are “pets”. Now by every common sense definition of a pet, a snake meets none of them. Unless you’re adding, you have to feed and clean up after them. They do not understand and return “affection” and are incapable of the same “emotional” responses as cats, dogs or horses for instance. Pretty much every domesticated animal we know has the ability to recognize people and respond. Reptiles do not. We have allowed numbskulls to buy boa constrictors and pythons as “pets”, take them home to “show off” with basically. I guess it’s one of those male ways of compensating for, well, the same thing we’re accused of for buying big expensive, sports cars and huge stereo speakers. (Personally I wouldn’t know since I have no need to compensation for anything. 😀 ) Then when too large to handle, these ass holes toss them into the wild, local parks, streams, ponds, lakes or on county roadsides.… Read more »
Who the hell cares about boas when we have the Dennis Chevalier-level zeros buying black mambas (the most venomous snake in the world and releasing them)?
http://chronicle.augusta.com/latest-news/2011-11-24/black-mamba-snake-bites-man-south-ga
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/did-bite-from-black-mamba-kill-new-york-woman/
Or, for that matter, cobras:
http://www.foxnews.com/science/2014/09/04/california-authorities-hunt-albino-cobra-in-upscale-neighborhood/
http://www.wpbf.com/news/worker-bitten-by-venomous-cobra-snake-at-wildlife-sanctuary/26674020
http://www.ar15.com/archive/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=1531531
I learned from a young age that God in His wisdom created two creatures to be the true companions of man. There are two animals with which a person can form a mutual emotional bond of true friendship, nurturing and caring for eachother in good times and bad, that will run through hell and/or fight to the death to save their human master’s life. They are also the only creatures trusted around the world to accompany their human masters into battle These creatures are the dog and the horse.
Other beasts and birds have been domesticated, serve a useful purpose, and can be legitimately valuable to their master as an object of affection. But cattle make poor mounts, despite their strength. Pigs can’t compare with dogs, despite their overlooked intelligence. No cat ever slew an attacker or stopped a bullet in defense of its master (granted, I loathe cats, but the point is valid). Chickens guard against snakes and exactly nothing else. “Domesticated” snakes are an anathema to nature (I don’t mind snakes at all, BTW). And the only true utility of a parakeet is to alert you to a hazardous atmosphere (by keeling over, dead) before it becomes lethal to humans.
Thus, I’ve never understood the whole “exotic pet” thing. Dog? Hell yes! Horse? Damn straight! Poultry? Sure. Beeves? They’re tasty! Hogs? Okay, besides, I love me some bacon! Cats? Hate ’em…okay, fine, but I still don’t like ’em. Rodent? I’ll admit we had a pet rat when I was a kid, and he was both docile and entertaining. Reptiles? Why would you (“they’re cool” is not a valid reason!)? Arachnids of any kind? WHAT THE HOLY EVER-LOVING MOTHERFUCKING DOG SHIT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SICK, CRAZY, DEMENTED FUCKER???!!!!!!!
There is a reason that humans have an inbred fear of spiders, every one of them is venomous. Some are deadly and some are not, but they all have venom and it hurts to be bitten by even the most benign of them. Our ancestors found this out the hard way and passed the lesson down to us thru our genes. Same with snakes, a genetic aversion to all things that slither. Our first line of defence against insects up here on the ranch is the birds. Lots of birds call here and what they don’t’ get the guinea fowl eat. Those critters eat their weight in insects and they weigh a lot more than a Mountain Bluebird.
There’s a lot of ‘forced perspective’ going on in that picture. The spider is likely hand-sized or smaller.
I had a piranha in college. I may or may not have gotten really drunk and put it in the on campus lake. Like others have said, fuck spiders. Seriously.
Here at new to me home, we have a snake alert.Copperheads and sometimes a Cottonmouth mocasin. I have a .410 single shot shotgun and .22 pistol laded .22 short subsonic rounds. One or the other is with me or Draughter’s family when we are working outside. After we get the hogwire fence around the 4 acres back up .I might build a chicken coop and buy some chickens to reduce the ticks and snakes. Joe
The amount of nope I have for this idea.
Yeah, I’d rather not have a pet than get a pet freaking spider.
Just wanted to add, the randomly generated advertisement that showed at the top of the page said, well…
“Local Pest Control”.
Always remember the fella who bought a car from me back in about ’88 who lived north of El Paso in a small town called Chaparral just in NM – he and his wife used to ride their bikes of an evening when it cooled off, until one time about nightfall they ran across (literally) a whole mess of tarantulas crossing the road. Not a big problem.. but one of ’em managed to hook onto his tire, got flipped up behind him, and the first they knew of it was when it landed right on his wife’s forearm. He said it got a little chaotic after that… and they didn’t ride bikes in the evening any more for some reason. Guess she got downright unreasonable about it.