Kevin Shakely sentenced

| February 19, 2014

Kevin Shakely

You may remember that we’ve been getting some inside information on Kevin Shakely, the clown who is fighting with the Army over the fact that he’s been a deserter from the Army for seven years. Last month, we heard that his trial was delayed so the Army could pay for fixing his stinkin’ teeth. Well, he was sentenced today. He got 18 months in prison, a reduction in grade to E1, loss of all pay and benefits, and a dishonorable discharge. However, under a plea agreement, he gets only 12 months in prison; the rest stays the same.

Shakely faced four charges with a total of eight counts: 3 counts of desertion, 1 count of malingering, 2 counts of making false statements to military police and detectives, and 2 counts of obstruction of justice.

The plea deal knocked off one count of obstruction of justice (he told a military police detective in a voicemail that he was SSG Kevin Shakely in an attempt to throw off the detective), and the malingering charge (he faked needing a wheelchair at one point).

Shakely gets 117 days pretrial confinement credit, so he will serve almost 250 more days in prison. Since he was apprehended last year, he hasn’t been receiving pay or benefits, except prison medical care.

According to our source, he will spend two hundred more days in prison than he did in the Army. Good, he needs to pay us off for the whitest teeth that Bubba ever…well, you know.

Category: Shitbags

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rb325th

Enjoy your jail time douche bag

Green Thumb

Clown.

nbcguy54

Too bad we don’t still shoot those who desert during times of war. I’ve been needing to go to the range….

Toasty Coastie

I hope he loses his new teeth to Bubba…

Twist

Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t Military prisons have a very low sexual assault rate?

Hondo

Twist: that’s my understanding as well. Additionally, Federal prisons reputedly have a much lower rate than state prisons.

Full reduction/forfeitures, a year in jail, and a DD (along with a Federal felony record). I can live with Shakely getting that.

Hopefully Shakely can as well.

ChipNASA

Who’s taking bets to when he shows back up here Claiming SEAL/Pararescue/Delta Team/Ranger/Green Beret status a la’ our other prison bird Jay Kerwin?

Green Thumb

@7.

Yeah.

There are actually classes that are taught on how to survive in prison. No shit.

But I have an odd feeling that Big Jay teaches the non-violent ones.

Know what I mean?

Just An Old Dog

It’s about what I would expect for a shitbag like him. I remember it used to be after guys were gone so long and got caught or turned themselves in they would basically just be taken in long enough to process them for an OTH. When I checked into to Camo Pendelton in 1984 the reception area had a “casual” section where all the long haired, civie wearing douche-nozzles were kept. As long as they didnt try to bolt or start crap they were just left alone and processed out. Douchebag here coud have simply taken his medicine and been out years ago, but he wanted to play stupid.

Beretverde

PCS to Leavenworth…not TDY. He will claim years from now that he was “stationed” there.

Pinto Nag

If he goes to ANY prison, we’re still paying for him.

MrBill

@10 – and he received the Purple Hole while stationed there.

A Proud Infidel

He got himself a DD, so there goes his right to vote or own a firearm! I can settle for seeing him get that, and his job prospects afterward? Maybe dishwasher at Mel’s Tavern & Grill?!

Hack.Stone

Just An Old Dog, I remember that firetrap. It was one of those WWII era wooden buildings. It was right across from the main PX, behind the gas station. The lower right squad was the Deserters Barracks, the other three were the newbie reception. I got stuck pulling firewatch, and had to walk through that area. They smelled. Bad. Real bad. I got a bit bored, so I was reading the stuff on the read board. One of those items was instructions to those “residents” about writing a letter to the Commandant asking to be let out of the Marine Corps.

Follow up to that is that in 1992, I was checking into Pendleton again. Going off of an eight year memory, I headed over to the 13 area, looking for the building. Hmm, the building is no longer there. I finally found someone to point me to the Reception Center. I get to what looks like pretty nice building, and talking to the Sergeant behind the desk, I relate my story, finishing it off with “Man, that was a firetrap. When did they build this new place?” He replied “When the old place burned.” This guy was the duty the night it burned down. Like every other crappy building on Pendleton, the heat system never worked. So he had an electric space heater. If you think that heat system was inadequate, would you like to lay money down on the electrical wiring? He said he woke up surrounded by flames, jumped out the window, and watched it burn to the ground. And that is how you get a new Reception Building built.

Instinct

Can we go back to firing squad for deserters???

Sparks

One question. How do his teeth look now? I mean are they going to be Bubba/Thor approved or what? Time will tell but most of those guys just like to knock their teeth out from the get go. You know, safety first and all that.

CI Roller Dude

I wonder if this turd thought that he would loose many rights for the rest of his life for being a coward.

Wrench S2/S3

Are they going to ship him all the way to Leavenworth, or are they going to keep him at Ft Lewis for the short duration of his sentence? (Yeah, I know it’s now JBLM – but it will forever be Ft Lewis to me!)

Just An Old Dog

@14,
Hackstone,,, yes the place burned down,,, as did the base dry-cleaning building,, another old building. About the same time,,, under mysterious circumstances.
One of the weirdest criminal enterprizes I ever experienced wa behind that. We had a Corporal in C 1/11,,, Vinnie something or other,,, a shady ass guy from Maine.. He was actually fapped out to the reception center when it had that fire.
There was a big crystal meth bust in out Battalion and one of the guys ratted him out.
This giy had been dealing meth and robbing thr Marine Corps blind for years.
He was the Police Sgt for the unit and had access to DRMO, The dude was fanangling accounts and stealing shit left and right, He \got busted trying to sell a generator to undecover CID, He had storage units out inVista that had Tool kits, Humvee tires, duece gear out the ass, and last but not least, computers from the recetion center and uniforms in plastic with the base cleaner tags still on them. Not to mention the drug ring.
Guy was like a fucking mafioso.

Anon

His teeth looked fine.

Unlikely they will transfer him from JBLM; he remains on some level of pain medication (though he was dry leading up to, and through, his trial). Northwest Joint Regional Correctional Facility has room.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Guys like this are always a cost to society, first he was useless while he was serving so we spent resources getting him and trying him…now he’s useless and will be in prison where we will spend more resources keeping him locked up, when he gets out with no job we will spend even more money getting him section 8 housing and food assistance….probably he will get SSDI benefits because he will figure out how to be disabled….

Parasites are always parasites, they just keep trying to suck the host dry….someday we will figure out that what makes nature beautiful isn’t the pretty scenery….what makes nature beautiful is the simple fact that you work or you die, if your genetic makeup leaves you unable to take care of yourself the rest of the herd moves on and leaves you to the predators….we have created a reverse eco-system for humanity where the dumbest, weakest, least able members of the herd are allowed to reproduce at rates that far exceed the capable, useful members of the herd…and we are surprised to find that the herd has become successively weaker, dumber, and less able to care for itself….

If nature starts to figure us out she would do well to wipe the stain of all humanity from her surface and start with a new, fresh set of creatures that might actually appreciate what it means to be alive.