Your weekly Hasan’s beard update
Apparently, Judge gross has decided that he will force Nidal Hasan the Fort Hood murderer to submit to shaving. The trial of the crippled jihadist has been delayed for weeks while everyone waited for the judge’s order according to the Associated Press;
The Army has specific guidelines on forced shaving. A team of five military police officers restrains the inmate “with the reasonable force necessary,” and a medical professional is on hand in case of injuries. The shaving must be done with electric clippers and must be videotaped, according to Army rules.
They don’t need all of that. How does it take 5 MPs to hold down one crippled Islamist? They could probably use unreasonable force, if they want. I wouldn’t mind, would you?
But this doesn’t mean that the big beard controversy is over. The appeals court told Hasan’s defense attorneys that they were premature filing for an appeal of the forced shaving before Judge Gross had issued an order. So this will just spark another discussion and delay the trial even longer. Too bad the officers who shot Hasan didn’t have a hair better aim or the doctors who saved him were a hair less competent.
Category: Terror War
So is there like a lottery for who gets to be one of the 5 MPs? I’ll fucking stolen valor the shit out of this one, kidnap a chosen MP, steal his uniform and be in the room. It’d be worth the jail time.
As a service to my country, I would like to volunteer to shave this guy….with a woodchipper.
Doesn’t matter what they use for the actual shave as long as it’s lubricated with pig fat.
This started at Fort Leavenworth when inmates would go on a shaving strike as a form of protest. The 5 and peas are normally meant for able body prisoners but they will use 5 because it is part of regulation and since I know the NCOIC of Hassan’s incarceration detail there will be 5. Hopefully 1 of them slips and then blood goes everywhere and this is over
Use a chainsaw lubricated with pork grease.
Put it on Pay Per View.
Problem?
Nasser Abdo has already been tried convicted and sentenced. WHY are we still screwing around with this Jack ass?
Just use a straight razor and slice somewhere below the chin aiming for the joint between c-3 and c-4.
We need to start issuing bullets dipped in pig fat to our troops. Let the Taliban known it. Time to take the gloves off.
I’m sure we can find several volunteers to help the fuck shave
I don’t see why they need a judge’s order. The State of Florida (and the county jails) have a habit of doing whatever is necessary to maintain hygiene standards. Muslim, Rastafarian, Sikh…all get the “Welcome to the DoC” head shave and all facial hair will be shaved (w/razor) unless you get a shaving pass from the medical department (then it can only be 1/4″ max).
Never got the Fed thing about not having real hygiene standards; when I was still with the State, it was common for us to get in Federal transfers that would cry then writ write because we shaved off their waist length hair and scraggly facial fluff.
Isn’t he basically a vegetable?? I’m sure the MP E-4s guarding him would be happy to take a “poorly”-timed coffee break, just saying.
You mix his beard with breakfast sausage, cook it, then ask if he wants to keep his precious beard. When he says ‘yes’, you serve it to him on a plate and ask him if he wants fries with that.
And tell him that naming a pig after is an insult to pigs.
Lighter and can of flammable hair spray…..
Criminals have more rights than the victims!? If this SFB is still active Army, screw the BS. Take him to the closest barracks and let real soldiers give him a GI shower and shave!?
Apparently Army is waiting for Hasan to become a grey beard -check back in 2040.
I thought that this was decided about two weeks ago. And the delay is??? . . . . .
(Besides the scum-sucking leech lawyers)
This is still a pansy ass way of resolving the situation. Shave him once and he will simply refuse again. He has nothing to lose, and he gains days on his lifespan by every delay in trial.
Cover his face in Nair so that the hair falls out and doesn’t come back for days at a time. Then get on with the trial so we can pick the firing squad.
Boy the new Army is sure a lot different than the Army of my youth. In 1965 my DI looked at the peach fuzz on my 18 year old face and ordered me to dry shave with a Gillette Blue Blade. I very nearly bled to death! And he didn’t need a court order either. Try this slime and hang him, beard and all.
It should never have gotten this far. Hassan is still considered an officer on active duty and is thus responsible for maintaining his grooming standards in accordance with regulations.
This is all just delaying tactics and street theater by his attorneys and supporters.
The judge needs to man up and have this done and get on with the trial.
I offer the services of my weed wacker.
I think the proper way to get hair off a carcass is to submerge it in boiling water for a few minutes.
Oh, wait a minute…
If you hurry, you can two No-Nos for the price of one. The hair doesn’t grow back for months. Or you could do the bikini wax on his face. Just make sure you include the hair in his nose.
I agree with Dave Thul; IMO Nair seems the best answer. But a daily routine of being held down and forcibly shaved with an electric razor works, too. I’m guessing he’ll get tired of it after not too long.
Hondo, I have to disagree with the last part. He won’t like it, but in his mind’s eye, he’s a martyr waiting for death, don’t you see? He will MAKE them continue to shave him, so his suffering is public for the jihadists to adore.
HASAN BEARD SHAVING PROJECT
Updated: The Master Chief erred. Hasan is in wheelchair … ah … too bad … I forgot. Reduce supplies as neccessary.
Supplies:
1 sheet of 4 x 8 plywood
1 drill with a 1/4 bit
1 roll of bailing wire
1 roll of duct tape
1 disposable razor
1 can of Navy Exchange shaving cream (use coupon)
1 box of Navy Exchange small bandaids (use coupon)
1 loud boom box
* music by AC/DC “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheep”
Procedure:
Note: Obtain written permission from CO first.
1. Drill sufficient number of holes in plywood.
2. Using bailing wire and drilled holes, secure prisoner tighly to plywood.
3. Apply duct tape to forehead to ensure prisoner does not move head.
4. Commence music selection for the prisoner.
5. Apply shaving cream on prisoner.
6. Shave beard off prisoner.
7. Apply bandaids to prisoner.
8. Remove duct tape from prisoner.
9. Remove bailing wire from plywood.
10. Secure musical selection.
11. Escort clean shaven prisoner back to isolation cell.
BEARD SHAVING PROJECT COMPLETE
@ 5 NH Sparky … A little extreme … don’t ya think … I love it!
PintoNag: maybe. I’m guessing he’ll get tired of the process and cave after a few days once he realizes it’s going to happen regardless. But I could be wrong.
Are they going to shoot him after the trial?
I’ll bet he’s afraid of bullets.
MCPO: not so sure about your musical selection. Wouldn’t the old Noxzema shave cream “Take It Off” commercial jingle be more apropos? (smile)
Ex-PH2: no. The military now executes by lethal injection.
That’s fine by me. This POS doesn’t IMO deserve a soldier’s death. Being sent to Shai’tan like a mad animal you’ve captured and must destroy is IMO more apropos.
@ Hondo …. OK … that is good! So here it is! I was five when this commercial first aired. My parents would not let us watch it!
“You can keep your hat on” Joe Cocker.
@25 I would also like to add that when they return him to his isolation cell that they have Tony Basil’s “Hey Mickey” playing on continous loop 24 hrs a day.
@25. Could we do 12 hrs of that and 12 hrs of…
Makin Bacon Pancakes?
@ Air Cav .. why in GOD’s name did you have to bring that up. I just got it out of my head on … lets see … Wednesday. So for all of you who have not experienced “Makin’ Bacon Pancakes” … here is the 10 hour contunuous loop version … it is truly mind numbing!
Brilliant …. lets use this on Hasan!
Twelve hours of Yoko Ono on a loop doing one of her ear-splitting screeching hag numbers.
@37 I think that is expressly forbidden in the addenda to the Geneva Convention.
It was added to FM 34-52 as well: “Loud Music played continuously is an accepted technique with the exception of certain performance artists, notably Yoko Ono, as she induces suicide and is counter-productive to the acquisition of useable intelligence.”
LMAO!
Please, oh please can I volunteer to be one of the 5 to help “hold him down”? Preferably with a giant pig or maybe a fork through each hand?
This SOB isn’t crazy. He isn’t insane. His sympathies and sentiments for terrorism as a valid means toward an ill-defined end are beyond question. He was enabled by political correctness and in-your-face malfeasance. Now, he wants his personal wishes honored. Words are inadequate to convey the unbridled disdain with which he is rightly regarded by decent people. May he suffer the eternal torments of Hell for what he has done.
A .50 cal would shave him real nice.