WTH is up with uniforms
Snafudude sent us a link to an article in Military.com which talks about the new camouflaged uniform the Army is testing for wear in the near future. Apparently they’ve narrowed it down to four patterns, one of them is reptile-like;
Now, according to Wiki, Multicam has just entered the system in 2010 and now they’re already looking for a new camouflage pattern? And according to the article, the design that the POGs at Nattick entered in the competition has been eliminated. Then what are we paying them for?
And why do we need to keep changing the pattern? Is global warming changing the climate and vegetation so that we have to keep adjusting crap? It seems to me that if the Army was looking for a way to save money, they fire those pseudo-camouflage experts at Nattick that can’t even come up with a design that they can approve.
Ya know what…it’s not even that important. Despite what they’d have you believe, a uniform isn’t going to conceal anyone. And after about two days in the field, no matter how much the Army spends on a pattern, they’re all the same color – dirt.
At least the Navy has it’s priorities straight – they’re making changes to their dress uniforms that you squids will have to buy for your seabags. And why?
“These uniform changes are the direct result of sailor and leadership feedback,” Rear Adm. Tony Kurta, director of Military Personnel Plans and Policy, said in a released statement. “Updating Navy uniforms is part of outfitting the 21st Century sailor, ensuring our sailors have practical uniforms they want and that represent our proud naval heritage while reflecting advances in clothing technology and design.”
What? You mean “new male E1-E6 Service Dress Blue Uniform, incorporating a side zipper on the jumper and a hidden center zipper on the trousers” doesn’t have anything to do with national defense? But “advances in clothing technology and design” are certainly important – well, important in the sense that it keeps a Rear Admiral billet open.
Category: Military issues
Oh dear god…..we didn’t learn our lesson with ACU’s.
Keep Multicam and call it a day.
You know the army motto, if it ain’t broke obviously something is wrong…
Sweet Jesus – that faux lizard-skin crap looks like something that belongs in “Leisure Suit Larry” vice anything military!
And yes, I know – I’m dating myself. (smile)
I thought it was more of “if it ain’t broke, we paid too much for it”.
I think the army motto is if it ain’t broke, fix it until it is…
make it truly effective, and make it sh*t colored.
Why do I feel Senseki is being channeled here? I know he’s Jonn’s favorite general, LOL.
Reptilian. Ain’t that purdy?
But does it function for something other than, well, can’t really come up with a scenario where millions of GI’s would need to blend in with reptiles in a dessert.
Alligator wrestling perhaps? (Actually, thought it was a muted 60’s flower power design at first glance. Or paw prints.)
The problem with multi-cam is that Natick didn’t invent it. It’s a COTS item, that actual combat trroops tested in a combat environment and it worked. Jobs at Natick are threatened, because they didn’t have a multi year testing and fielding process. A similar thing happened in the early days of Afghanistan. COTS undershirts from Under Armour were used up in the mountains and helped to keep the troops dry and warm. The Natick pogues became apoplectic because, well, it’s jobs.
I gotta give a shout out to Power Point Ranger on this he did a comic on this years ago…
If a private company can come up with superior product the government can come up with an inferior one at 10x the cost…
Mr. Lilyea, you are constantly creative (funny/ironic/tragic):
“And why do we need to keep changing the pattern? Is global warming changing the climate and vegetation so that we have to keep adjusting crap?”
And your title about the two t(w)its — high-priced writing.
(all the above is *sincere*)
U.S. ARMY motto in RVN (Vietnam), referring to research and development:
1 Measure with a Micrometer
2 Mark it with chalk
3 Cut it with an axe
That looks like something from “The Mod Squad.” What next, paisley?
Nice. But can you starch it? you know some SGM is gonna want that…
The Navy “just” recently took 6 years to come out for their new enlisted uniforms…I hate to say it, but it will all come down to the Benjamins! Insider or outsider… this has been gong on for years/decades (“Military Industrial Complex” Eisenhower!).
It’s not that complicated….anything that breaks up the outline pattern of a human is good. Shit, the Germans had pretty good stuff in WWII. just take some camel shit and throw it on the canvas and use that.
Our old Army mottos:
We can waste more time before 9 than most folks waste in an entire day.
US Army, 230plus years of tradation unchanged by progress
etc.
Nice, I see they got the Predator skin pattern down, now if only they can duplicate the “cloaking device” he employed against Ahhhhhnold, I might be impressed. “If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it”.
So, why does the Marine chow tray need a zipper?
Cause Sailors eat off them? Blind guess.
Ah to yearn for the days when the annual uniform alowance would come in so we could spend $50 on a couple of sets of dungarees and $400 on beer.
That pattern looks badass… I hope it wins.
I ran into 2 young guys in Best Buy over a year ago, they were on recruiting duty. Both were Second Class Petty Officers, one a ABE2, and the other a FC2. The Fire Controlman had on the Navy digital cammies. I asked him if he could find his buddies when the lights were dimmed in CIC. He didn’t understand my point. The Aviation Boatswains Mate was wearing the khacki shirt and black pants with a black pisscutter. I asked him what the goat locker crowd though about E6 and below wearing khaki and he knew exactly what my point was. I really wish all branches would stop screwing around with uniforms in ways that don’t make them more utilitarian or more protective. This from somebody accustomed to wearing camo, and khaki.
EROWMER retired EOC (SCW/AW)
Amen, Chief. WTF do we need with aquaflage, anyway.
Hilarious. I just got a few new sets of ACUs.
Ok guys n gals, being a Jarhead I don’t get it. What is wrong with deciding on a uniform and keeping it for more than six months?!? Thank God the sateens my cousins wore in the ’60s were the same sateens my brother and I wore in the ’70s. The woodland cammies I wore in the late ’70s are what my nephew wore in the ’90s. Now they wear MarPat. They’ll wear it for more than six months.
I’m going to bet this will result in some interesting tinfoil hattery freaking out over at AboveTopSecret.com what with those guys who think there are reptilians hiding in the hollow earth and periodically surface to snatch people. They already can’t tell the difference between the SR-71 and aliens so God help us if we give the Army reptile print.