Yer Sunday Funny: A Well-Deserved Comeuppance

I understand many pilots occasionally engage in a little “comparative appendage measuring” regarding who’s fastest while they’re flying.  I have no firsthand knowledge of this (I’m not a pilot), but having grown up around and worked with with plenty of aviators I can certainly see where this is almost certainly true.

Well, one day that seems to have backfired big=time for a certain pilot.  And I have to say what follows warmed my heart – and made me laugh out loud.

Here’s how the purported the radio exchanges went.  ATC Facility involved was the Los Angeles Center.

First call was from a Cessna, callsign NC125.  In a bit of a shaky voice, the Cessna pilot requested a groundspeed check.

LA Center’s response:  November Charlie 125, I have you at 90 knots on the ground.

Next, to one-up the Cessna the pilot of a twin Beechcraft requested a groundspeed check.

LA Center’s response:  I have you at 125 knots of ground speed.

Well, the Beechcraft pilot certainly “gotcha-ed” that Cessna pilot, didn’t he?  But he soon got his comeuppance.

Seems this day, a military aircraft – reputedly an F/A-18, callsign Dusty 52 from NAS Lemoore – was in the air and decided to show everyone he was that day’s “speed champ”.  The next radio exchange:

Dusty 52:   Center, Dusty 52, ground speed check.
Center’s reply:  Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground.

For the curious, 620 knots is about 713 MPH – a high subsonic or low supersonic speed at pretty much any altitude most aircraft operate. At sea level, that airspeed would be roughly Mach 0.938; at 50,000 ft it would be roughly Mach 1.08.  Airspeed may be different from ground speed depending on wind – but 620 knots ground speed means the airspeed also will be pretty damn fast, regardless of wind.

Now, at this point I’m sure the individual piloting Dusty 52 was feeling damn proud of themself for being that day’s “speed champ”.  Normally, they would have been – and that would have been the end of the “measuring contest” for a while.

But it turns out, that day things were anything but normal.

You see, that day just wasn’t that particular hotshot pilot’s day.  Because a few seconds later, the following rather unexpected transmission came over the air – delivered in a cool, matter-of-fact, professional voice:

Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?

LA Center’s response (also delivered very professionally):  Aspen 20, I show you at 1,842 knots across the ground.

You see, that particular day there just happened to be another aircraft within radio range, flying a training flight in uncontrolled airspace at or above 13 miles altitude. (Generally, in the US anything above 60,000 ft is normally uncontrolled airspace; 13 miles altitude is 68,640 ft.)  At that altitude, neglecting wind effects on airspeed a ground speed of 1,842 knots corresponds to an airspeed of roughly 2,119 MPH – or Mach 3.2+.

You guessed it: Aspen 20 was a Blackbird, AKA an SR-71.

The conversation continued.

Aspen 20:  Ah, Center, much thanks.  We were showing closer to 1,900 on the money.
LA Center:  Roger that Aspen.  Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours.  You boys have a good one.

 

The moral of the story:  it’s probably a good idea to think twice (or more) before “measuring” some things in public.  Because you never know when someone out there might have a bigger . . . plane.  (smile)

Damn, I wish we still had the Blackbird in the USAF inventory.

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FWIW:  This incident very likely actually happened.  Here’s the source.  (Hat tip to a longtime commenter at TAH – Roh-Dog, maybe? – for originally posting the source link in comments a some time ago.)

Category: Humor