DC Sammich Attacker Air Force Vet
Jersey Mike Unavailable for Comment
Air Force veteran hit with felony sandwich assault
“I did it. I threw a sandwich,” Sean Dunn told an officer.
Patty Nieberg
The man at the center of a sandwich-turned-felony encounter in Washington D.C. is as Air Force veteran. Sean Charles Dunn, 37, gained Internet fame but a felony arrest this week after launching a sandwich at a federal immigration enforcement officer in Washington D.C.
The Pentagon confirmed to Task & Purpose that Dunn was an Air Force staff sergeant, serving as a cyber transport systems specialist from July 2006 to May 2011. Dunn’s last assignment was Spangdahlem Air Base in southwest Germany.
Dunn was charged with a felony count of assaulting, resisting, or impeding U.S. federal officers on Wednesday in connection with a Sunday confrontation with a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer. Dunn’s actions “included shouted verbal insults” and “forcefully” throwing a “wrapped sandwich,” Department of Justice officials said in a release. He appeared in a federal district court Thursday and was released.
The confrontation began when he approached CPB officers, pointed a finger in one officer’s face and shouted “F— you! You f—ing fascists! Why are you here? I don’t want you in my city!” according to the DOJ release.
Man facing felony charge after throwing sandwich at federal agent near U St. | NBC4 Washington
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Like unemployment and a felony record- Mr. Dunn is now in the Find Out phase of a self-inflicted FAFO event.
Category: Air Force, FAFO, Schadenfreude, The Stupid is Strong
Douchelord.
“He appeared in a federal district court Thursday and was released”
Probably around lunch time.
Had a hunch he would be out by lunch to beat the crunch and munch such a large subway that got him his bust.
He was a DOJ employee and was fired on Thursday.
Bondi was annoyed, she doesn’t play either. They need to move for disbarment now and not wait. Anyone who will attack a Federal Officer in the performance of their duties doesn’t need to be practicing law.
Hopefully he will be dumb enough to represent himself at a trial. I am curious about the mark under his eye and makes me wonder if was also resisting arrest instead of going for the “Sir Robin Medal” and just bravely running away.
Either way, good that he outed himself. Now we have a contender for a liberal dumber than “you know who”, don’t wanna say it today lest he appears and ruins a perfectly good Monday.
He fell during the pursuit, directly into the nice officer’s fist.
The officer tried to slow the perps fall. Can’t catch them all.
Did the officer get to keep the little fella’s gold after he caught him?
Every one of them.
Explain that to your wife. Nothing like being unemployed in a notoriously expensive part of the country, and facing felony charge(s) as well. To be a fly on the walll in that house.
Had a guy working in the NMCC as a slimy contractor. He was a “One & Done” Army enlistment, but used that time to get a TS/SCI Clearance and the tech skills to land a well paying job. Until… his internet usage was flagged for suspicious activity. One of the senior coworkers got pulled into the Star Chamber where the gubmint and company high muckity-mucks had a pile of photos that the (alleged) offender downloaded. So they ask the co-manager if any of the photos could be considered work related. Unless the guy was attending online gynecology courses, the answer would be no. This was a Friday afternoon about 14:00. They told the co-manager they would reach a decision by Monday. By the time he got back into the NMCC, they were calling him to take the offenders CAC, put all of his shit in a box, and walk him out the door. That must have been an awkward conversation with his wife.
Beavers aren’t always in season, and it doesn’t sound like he had a trail cam.
Wife? With the pink Tshirt guy? That threw a sandwich at a cop and ran away screaming? I mean maybe. But she probably has a penis.
Maybe she is his beard.
If she is an actual she. He may be the reciever.
It seems as though mommy and daddy never taught this fine douche nozzle to keep his hands to himself and not play with his food.
mommy and daddy,, sounds like the ohio Students singing
“Mommy And Daddy” 1958 on the Red Top record label…
What he did was stupid, but goddamn if I wrote a report that said I was “forcefully struck with a wrapped sandwich” I sure hope my peers would make fun of me every day for being a soft little sally…
I know, I know, we don’t throw shit at Law Enforcement, and I’m not suggesting he doesn’t do time for assault…
It could always be worse. I had to arrest a dwarf once who was drunk and high and running around assaulting people and breaking things. He tried to run away in one of the “shortest” foot pursuits ever. When I tried to put him in cuffs of course he began resisting, without even thinking about it I followed procedure and called up on the radio that he was resisting.
Of course he was stowed in the back of my car before anyone arrived; but for a while after that I was a guy that called up the dwarf resisting arrest.
Put the little fucker in a tater sack.
Guess there’s not any fabric or seat covers to velcro him to the back seat.
That’s fucking funny.
I was trying to think of something whitty about your story 5JC, but I came up short.
The only way this story could have been better is if there had been numerous dwarfs and after they were cuffed you stuffed them all into the back of one patrol car.
When 5JC cuffed him, the dwarf reportedly said “I ain’t Happy!”
When you say “stowed in the back of my car”… do you mean the trunk?
No, the glove box.
Ever hear of Brad Williams?
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D
1_tZFYN7080&ved=2ahUKEwjjoJ2I_5SPAxVW_8kDHUDIHz0QwqsBegQIGBAG&usg=AOvVaw2HDNxQYEOww3AY2gOcNstn
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D1_tZFYN7080&ved=2ahUKEwjjoJ2I_5SPAxVW_8kDHUDIHz0QwqsBegQIGBAG&usg=AOvVaw2HDNxQYEOww3AY2gOcNstn
Good thing you had that booster seat in the car.
“I’m not suggesting he doesn’t do time for assault…”
If he does, I bet he works in the prison kitchen.
Word.
Why is it always the Air Force with this idiocy? Although if he had coordinated with Arron Bushnell he could have had that sandwich toasted.
And I thought we made the Space Force so that the Air Force would have bigger nerds to look up to.
It took about 6 months for the Air Force to disable Bushnell’s email account. They probably scheduling him for DNCO, too.
Had to be drunk, right? He wanted to get his munchies on after tossing back a few too many Apple Martini’s or Cosmopolitans. He’s such a Carrie the fucking loser.
Maybe he had a few too many seltzers as well?
White claws..
The TDS is strong with that one.
Stronger than even Febreeze can handle.
Stupid is as stupid does.
weird how fascistic these antifascists are…sort of like they are being used because they are dumb.
Little skulls full of mush, easily molded into whatever you want.
I wonder if the Air Force remembers this douche fondly. Likely not, since the highlight of his life is arrest for assault with a deadly sandwich.
The Earl of Sandwich must be proud.
.https://m.youtube.com/shorts/m7v_zao4NPE
Almost forgot, light NSFW.
Garrett Morris playing a servant!? How un-PC. Bet they couldn’t get away with that today.
I hear this guy wants to meet him…
Only if he brings a sandwich
There’s a Bee article about that.
If you’re going to assault someone, put some mustard on it.
Two Cashew nuts were taking a walk in Central Park NY,
and one nut was a salted….
Was the attacker from Brazil?
I’m going nuts right now to remember if the attacker was from Brazil, ah, nuts, I can’t remember. Remember,,, how about “Remember Then” by the Bronx NY Earls 1962 on the Oldtown label..
Has anyone made the appropriate puns yet??
Sub around and find out.
Assault with a Deli weapon.
It was a breadly weapon.
I guess this is a cold cut and dry case.
Sub attack in DC , with no water ….how?!?!
Another conversation….
Guy: “You can tell he was Air Force, by the way he ran.
Other Guy: ” We don’t run”
Guy again: “He looked skinny….AND Ghey…”
😀
Best
RIMSHOT
This is a travesty! “Congress must act and pass sensible bun laws.”
Will home made bread be considered a ghost bun?
Won’t take to much bread to buy the flour
It takes more than that to get a rise out of me.
Full background check and 30 minute waiting period.
Sean Dunn for Mayo of DC!
Not all gyros wear capes
He ran but the police were able to ketchup easily
all you punsters got me beat today and it’s hard to catch up with everyone. I didn’t want to say ketchup because that would be plagerism and I’m not looking for a law suit unless it’s a seersucker suit. Owned 3 of them years ago but outgrew them.
Lets not forget this either.
Anyone check with Jared and get his thoughts?
The air force guy did and got the same results. Arrested.
Hear they tried, but he’s having some minor problems at the moment.
The only question I have about this was did he get the BOGO 50% off deal? If he had thought at least thought that far ahead then he would at least still have the sandwich, unless the police took it away for being a weapon.
He was probably carrying it concealed.
I give up. WTH is a cyber transport systems specialist ?
Truck driver with an Ipad.
https://www.airforce.com/careers/intelligence/cyber-transport-systems
AKA: Telecom Technician, or Communication Tech. I guess, since he was an SSG, his civilian equivalent is Tech IV or Sr Tech.
“Forcibly” throwing a sandwich. Wow.
And a felony? Wow.
Dirtball, for sure. But wow.
Ah so, most jurisdictions, including federal, elevate the charge for aggravating circumstances such as an attack on a LEO, Fire Fighter, EMT, Nurse, Teacher and a few other things (sporting official, public official etc) depending upon where you are.
In my state the lowest assault charge is a misdemeanor assault (A3) is a Class A misdemeanor so with elevation it become (A2) which is a Class C Felony. The Misdemeanor Assault is pretty much any unwanted and unwarranted physical contact.
This is why fucking with the police is always a bad idea. This guy got drunk and made some poor life choices. Used to see that every single day.
During W’s inauguration back in 2000, a Marine in the cordon got hit with a balloon of piss.
Did not move. Pretty tough.
I can see that as felony. Not a Italian footlong. Misdemeanor, for sure. But a felony?
And to “forcibly” throw it? Is there any other way?
“And to “forcibly” throw it? Is there any other way?”
He could have “launched” it.
I see.
Or “tossed” it.
No, that only works for salads.
Maybe “lobbed”.
He could have heaved it but he would have to
eat it first.
“Air Force Veteran?”
Don’t you have to have served in the military to be considered a veteran?
[ducks]
Paramilitary is good enough. You know, the Boy Scouts, Air Force (ducks too)
I was going to say if the Air Force is equivalent to the Boy Scouts, that must mean the Air Force has adult leadership. ‘but I couldn’t, I just can’t say it.
I was told that the Army is the only real service because the Navy is a yacht club, the Air Force is a Corporation and the USMC is a cult!
*ducking very quickly*
Why do you say that the Marine Corps is a cult? A cult isolates their new members from the outside world with no communication with friends and family; they have regimented schedule that everyone must adhere to; they shave the heads of their new members, take away their clothes and require them all to dress the same; their new members are required to memorize and recite meaningless doctrine; and they ostracize anyone who wants to leave… Never mind.
While calling down to the front desk inquiring why there was a tent in our room, we also requested a 0530 wake up call so we could enjoy their free continental breakfast before boarding our air conditioned ride to the base, if we were set up off base. But even then, we had to drag our bags ourselves. Yeah, the AF had it rough.
I read elsewhere that this was somewhat serious. The police officer who was struck by the sandwich needed specialized medical treatment.
He was sent to the Mayo clinic.
Isn’t the Mayo clinic located in Ireland
I’ve only seen it once
4 years, 10 months active duty US Air Force?
So why does this guy get out with this odd TIS / Time In Service?
I am not saying this is correct, but he could have had a 5-year enlistment and used accumulated leave to take 2 months terminal leave.
I came to say any of these and also he was IT and Cybersecurity. It could have been stop loss and/or Delayed Enlistment time too. Mine counted towards my Pay Date every year. (10 months)
An extension to cover for active duty commitment requirement after attending training (e.g. PME, technical training, etc) or certain permissive TDY’s may require some time to pay Uncle Sam back. These might explain it.
Yep, that is how I ended up with four years, seven months active duty enlisted time.
Could have extended to take the overseas assignment.
Initial forensic analysis reveals the complex physics at play in this sandwich-based assault. While the foot-long variant delivers superior kinetic energy upon impact, tactical experts note it suffers from reduced muzzle velocity compared to the more aerodynamic six-inch model.
“The tuna salad creates excellent splash damage radius, or ‘spread,'” explained Dr. Harold Mustardson, professor of Sandwich Ballistics at the University of Hard Knocks. “However, your black forest ham and cheese configuration demonstrates superior armor penetration capabilities due to its dense protein matrix.”
The Sandwich Weapons Research Institute has identified numerous variables affecting projectile performance, including bread density, condiment viscosity, and what they’re calling the “lettuce drift factor.”
Police are reportedly considering upgrading their protective gear to include mayo-resistant vests and pickle-proof face shields.
The suspect remains in custody and was rummored to be restricted from kitchen duties in lieu of assignment to the laundry.
Very nice.
Cyber Transport Systems Specialist!!!
A Signal dude!!!!!
It’s always a Signal dude!
Nothing but trouble, those guys are!!!
I admit nothing. Call my lawer.
😂😂
They can talk about us, but not without us!!!
Bet he is a rump roaster as well
It was elevated to a felony because the samwich had spicy mustard
He should have gone all in with his “fight the oligarchy” momentband toss a Cuban Sandwich.
Dang, “Oligarchy” was just the Double Daily answer.
Would this make Uber Eats straw purchasers?
He should also be charged with wasting food, even if it’s only a Subway sammich.
What hath Jussie Smollett wrought!
