Weekend Open Thread

| July 15, 2022

Joe Biden’s policies continue to show the country how great Donald Trump was at being a president. A businessman takes the presidency and brings the country towards accomplishing what many politicians promised but did not deliver. Enjoy your weekend.

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Hack Stone

Hack Stone is looking forward to reclaiming his title for First Comment on This Ain’t Hell Weekend Open Thread, unless those meddling Adorable Deplorables interfere.

Roh-Dog

Congrats, I yield “Command” “Authority”.

May God have mercy… you know these clowns won’t!

Hack Stone

The Change Of Command Ceremony will be held immediately. A reception banquet catered by Desert Storm era MRE’s found in various nooks and crannies will be provided. If you require a Kosher or vegan meal, you are SOL. RSVP required.

Thunderstixx

Those grousing about said new command will be given cases of B-2 unit C-rations left over from both Vietnam and Korea !!!

KoB

Well, just DAMN! Now ’bout the only thing we gonna have to snak on is mostly chewed crayons. And the only reading material in the “reading room” will be obsolete tech manuals for Y3K Software, sold by a proud, but humble, woman owned software comapny. The 1MC will be filled with propaganda speeches from the Vice President of Media Relations.

Cong Rats to you, Hack Stone. Mention me to Rosetta.

Hack Stone

Hack Stone is looking forward to reclaiming his title for First Comment on This Ain’t Hell Weekend Open Thread, unless those meddling Adorable Deplorables interfere.

Hack’s story begins with a Yokusaka based Sailor home on leave shortly after 9/11, talking shit about how he was a Navy SEAL who deployed to Afghanistan within hours of the attack. His High School Buddy was so impressed, he reached out to The Sacramento Bee, which ran a big article on their hometown hero. That made the Stars & Stripes, which Hack read online. The article mentioned Mary at POW Network, so Hack got hooked going through all of the poser stories, and eventually followed a link to a site called This Ain’t Hell.

And thanks to the networking available on This Ain’t Hell, Elaine Ricci was able to recognize the skill sets of Hack and provided him a lifetime contract as Director of Media Relations and Head Sales Agent for the National Capital Region.

Now, you know the rest of the frigging sea story.

Graybeard

Rats of the Cong at ‘cha Hack.

As long as those MREs have a chaser of Shiner Boch, I’m fine.

ChipNASA

First….nahhh

Hack Stone

Denied!

ChipNASA

That’s RIGHT!!!
GET YER SHINE BOX CHIP!!!!
 😁  😆 

ChipNASA

Hack is the MAN!!!!
By 2 got-DAMN seconds….FAT FINGERS!!!!!
Fuck.

Hack Stone

Hack Stone attributes his securing first comment on the Y3K software, available for a limited time only. If you place your order now, you get a free red hat.

The Stranger

Does it say “Make America Great Again?”

KoB

1st

Hack Stone

You came in 3rd Place in a Beauty Contest. Collect $50.

ChipNASA

Fucker…I laughed WAY harder at this than I should have.
 😂 
Boy, inflation is a BITCH and so is Joe Biden. FUCK YOU HOEY JOEY!!!

Beauty.jpg
Graybeard

::Spew Alert::

SFC D

The plaque for second is in the ladies room.

The Stranger

If it’s for Phildo, it’s in the men’s room…stall 2.

Roh-Dog

From behind the dumpster to inside?!
How the fk did that assbag get promoted?

The Stranger

Bribery? That seems to be his modus operandi.

Commissioner Wretched

Way to go, Hack! In your honor, then, is this week’s trivia!

DID YOU KNOW…?
What classic “Batman” comic villain was never used in the 1960s television series?
By Commissioner Wretched
didyouknowcolumn@gmail.com
 
Back in May, the first volume of collected silliness from these columns was foisted off onto the world as a book.

Since then, I am so very pleased to say that Did You Know…? Yet Another Compendium of Useless Trivia has really caught on with readers. I hear from people every week who are just discovering the book or the column for the very first time, and they overwhelmingly like what they’re reading.

Or so they say. I’ll take the compliment even if they’re just being sarcastic.

Commissioner Wretched

Or so they say. I’ll take the compliment even if they’re just being sarcastic.

If you haven’t checked the compendium out just yet, you can visit my author page at:

http://www.amazon.com/author/jackbagley

The e-book version is also available for those who don’t want the old-fashioned feel of a paper book in their hands.

Now, to the new stuff for this week!

Did you know …

… if you could drive straight up, you’d reach outer space in about an hour? (Why you would want to drive straight up is beyond me, though. What if the brakes fail?)

Commissioner Wretched

… a Barbie™ doll was once sold with a decidedly non-PC message? During the 1960s, Mattel toys sold a “Slumber Party Barbie” doll that came with a small book entitled, How to Lose Weight. The back cover of the book had the words, “Don’t eat,” printed on it. The doll came with a pink plastic scale accessory, which was set to 110 pounds. Additional trivia note: If Barbie were a human of the same dimensions, she’d be 5 feet 9 inches tall – and, at 110 pounds, she’d be 35 pounds underweight. (So she wouldn’t really need the book with its silly advice, would she?)

… the average millionaire goes bankrupt at least three and a half times? (Wouldn’t you just love to see the paperwork on that half bankruptcy?)

Commissioner Wretched

… the original Mounted Police in Canada had only nine members? The Mounted Police was formed in 1873. In 1920, that division merged with the Dominion Police and became the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. With the slogan, “We Always Get Our Man,” the organization now has more than 28,000 members. And yes, they still ride horses, though they also use modern transportation as well. (I couldn’t find any verification, however, that the founder of the Mounties was a chap named Dudley DoRight.)

… cats manipulate our behavior toward them? They use a meow that sounds like a crying baby to get you to give them food and/or attention. Only cats who live in single-person households use this special combination of a meow and a purr to get their human to do their bidding. It’s acquired in cats who have a one-on-one relationship with their human. (You know, that explains a lot about my cat Boris.)

Graybeard

With our 7 (surviving) cats, they each have different vocalizations to convey messages to us.

One, however, talks a lot but it is a game of Charades to figure out what the heck he wants.

UpNorth

Our cat doesn’t purr. Not one purr since we’ve had her.

Commissioner Wretched

… a species of mouse communicates with song notes? The Scotinomys teguina, or Alston’s singing mouse, lives in Central America. They communicate with each other using about 100 different musical notes, and they are studied by scientists looking for ways to help solve communication difficulties among humans. (And they have a record on the Billboard charts, too!)

Commissioner Wretched

… a classic Batman villain almost appeared on the 1960s TV show? The character of Two-Face, who is former Gotham City District Attorney Harvey Dent scarred by exposure to acid, was to have been in the campy ‘60s series, and an outline for the two-part episode was written by science fiction legend Harlan Ellison (1934-2018). According to some reports, the role was going to be offered to actor Clint Eastwood (born 1930). However, the show’s producers felt that even if played for camp, like the other villains of the Batman television universe, Two-Face’s scarred appearance would frighten the children who made up their primary audience, so the character – and the possible script by Ellison – went unused. (Sigh. Clint Eastwood in a Harlan Ellison script on Batman. What might have been …)

Commissioner Wretched

… you may be guilty of committing a mencolek? Don’t hurry off to the Sheriff to turn yourself in, though, because a mencolek is not a crime. Mencolek is the term for tapping someone on the shoulder from behind them, and being on the other side of them, in order to trick that person. The word comes from Indonesia. (The gag, however, is timeless.)

… the juice of unripened grapes has a name? Also coming from crabapples and other sour fruit, the juice is called verjuice.

… Americans eat more than 22 pounds of tomatoes each year? According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more than half of that figure comes from ketchup and tomato sauce. (Not by me! I’m not a fan of tomatoes.)

Graybeard

I may set the average higher when my tomato plants are bearing well.
Fresh-outta-the-garden-never-been-refrigerated tomato slices on mayo and bread is not to be refused by any red-blooded American.

Only Army Mom

Yeppers! Just had my first tomato sandwich of the season a couple days ago. On Wonder bread of course. There are just some things that only taste right on Wonder. Some coworkers had never heard of a tomato sandwich but looked at mine with lust in their eyes.

Also had some bruschetta, done on the grill. Crusty bread, slice of tomato, fresh mozzarella draped with a basil leaf plucked from the plant and drizzled with ridiculously expensive but indescribably yummy balsamic.

Life is good.

Commissioner Wretched

… a photo of a presidential inauguration has a sinister side? At the second inauguration of Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) on March 4, 1865, the first photograph taken during a presidential inauguration was snapped. In the photo is a man identified by historians as John Wilkes Booth (1838-1865), who would assassinate Lincoln a little over a month after the photo was taken.

… during the Civil War, generals were 50% more likely to die in battle than privates were? That’s because at that time, generals normally led their soldiers into battle, rather than commanding from the rear, as became the practice in later wars. (Make of that what you will.)

Commissioner Wretched

… a Chinese “elixir of immortality” was found in a 2,000-year-old tomb? Archaeologists discovered a bronze pot inside a tomb in China’s Henan province in March of 2019. Inside the pot was 3.5 liters of a liquid referred to in an ancient Taoist manuscript as an “elixir of immortality.” It turns out to be just a mixture of potassium nitrate and alunite. (Elixir of immortality found in a tomb, you say? Well, here’s a heads-up: It doesn’t work.)

Now … you know!

Graybeard

Well, late to the party again.

The GB Compound is in the process of beating off the Chi-Com Wuhan-Fauci attack. Grandkids are doing better – hoping the granddaughter due to go to church camp doesn’t succumb before she can go.

Received 0.1″ of rain one day, 0.15″ the next – and the grass is already greener. The tomatoes just may make it.

Kinda worried about who the (D)emon-rats are planning on replacing PINO Joe with. I know who is (legally) in line, and none of them is really any better mentally or morally than PINO Joe. The (D)emon-rats have proved the axiom, again, that “Evil will shall oft evil mar.”

AW1Ed

Gavin Newsom was spotted entering the the white House’s West Wing yesterday, when PINO Joe is out of the country. New-scum trolled the reporters lurking there, doffing his suit jacket and making sure he was the center of attention.

Blood is in the water, and they are circling.

Graybeard

Trying to figure out how they’ll maneuver to get New-scum into office ahead of Kamalia Kneepads or Drunky Pelosi.
Trying to war-game that is scary.

Txnorsky

GB, here in my little slice of south central Texas, I watched it rain all around me, nary a drop. Looked promising though.

Graybeard

We’re all in various levels of drought. Our AO is in the deepest level right now. Depending on which slice of South Central TX you are in you are probably the same or next deepest.
Looking for a very small Tropical Storm for some relief.
No major storms, please Lord!

Do you remember the drought of the early 50’s? I have a sister-in-law that first saw rain when she was in 1st or 2nd grade.

Graybeard

The most recent drought map for Texas:

DroughtTexasJuly14.jpg
Sapper3307

Shrinkflation has hit the water market also.

random-shite-2022-07-14-50.jpg
Anonymous

comment image

jeff LPH 3 63-66

Late again to be first comong in at 31, so everyone have a great weekend. 9 more visits to the dermotoligist to get the old nose basil cell zapped from the thing that looks like a Dr. Who Daleck. Beats getting a MOHS sliced and diced job that I had back in 2017.

A Proud Infidel®™

Thirty-sump’n and I award myself Honorary First once again.

((((OVER))))

LC

Given the discussion in other thread about election fraud, here’s a report from a bunch of conservatives debunking the various claims made by the Trump administration:

https://lostnotstolen.org

Sapper3307

We good?

FXPPqrdWIAIpyDz.jpg
rgr769
Thunderstixx

That hollow thud you just heard was larsy-boi’s brainless body hitting the ground just after his head exploded in a cloud of pink mist, smeared cranial blood and a large, yet hollow, mass of neural synapses !!!
Get some !!!

A Proud Infidel®™

The Deep State minions are going full control fetish once again!

Roh-Dog

Short grows the hour of their deliverance! With Phrygian cap-on-pole and torch a light, We shall storm the gates, drink the wine for to’morrow we dine on their caviar!

https://youtu.be/74nTzbgDGWM

Kidding. Chase ‘way the farmer to become a pig in boots? I’d rather exsanguinate.

Hack Stone

So this announcement from Candidate Joseph Biden did not stop the spread of COVID?

https://joebiden.com/beat-covid19/

Roh-Dog

Here in my little corner of the states, Connecticrap, there has been one (?) day of 90+ degrees, maybe.

The AC still ain’t in.

I’m not saying it’s the coldest summer I remember, but it was so cold this morning I had to get under the comforter.

It hasn’t been the first time this ‘summer’ its been used, it usually gets put away mid-May.

I’m no sciencedood but there is this ball of incandescent gas 93M miles away, depending on our position relative to it and how much of its energy passes through our atmosphere, the sun’ll cause heating in either the northern or southern areas….um…’seasonally’?

edit: apparently out tax dollars go to study this thing?!? who knew https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/communities/space-weather-enthusiasts

Last edited 2 years ago by Roh-Dog
Graybeard

We’ve had a high-pressure ridge sitting over the 4-corners to North Plains area, keeping our temps much higher than normal. Actually hit 111, with a drought index of 726, last week.

We comfort ourselves with the belief that this’ll drive the blue-state refugees back to their shiite-holes.

David

Hell, we’re begging for a tropical storm. Maybe 1/16″ rain since June 1st. Good news is, the wife who misses the crunch of new snow, gets dead grass crunch wherever she walks. Sounds remarkably similar.

Graybeard

A small tropical storm, if you please.

Roh-Dog

We comfort ourselves with the belief that this’ll drive the blue-state refugees back to their shiite-holes

A strong-willed and hardy Folks are binded in mutual possession of that Hard Ground merely!

I pray this comfort finds you…. antecedent to some much-needed rain, of course.

Wealth, Health and Joy to the GB tribe!

Anonymous
Last edited 2 years ago by Anonymous
Anonymous
MCPO USN

Tell them to enjoy it while they can. The next President, a Republican, will be firing them.

Graybeard

::barf::

Hack Stone

Another nail in the coffin for female athletes. Hack was under the impression that the war on women was being waged by Republicans.

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/lia-thomas-nominated-university-pennsylvania-ncaa-woman-year-award

A Proud Infidel®™

COMRADE, it is okay when D-rats do it!

The Stranger

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Those fucking third-wave feminists can choke on it, literally!

Mick

On station.

26Limabeans

While filling my vehicle at a gas station this morning a pickup
with two guys hauling a rack trailer full of kayaks pulls in.
Driver gets out and goes in the store while the other guy gets
out and stands next to the trailer, facing the trailer.
He had a 1911 style handgun tucked in his rear waistband.
No holster. So I’m thinking to myself…a ten year old could
disarm this moron in an instant. Truck and trailer had Minnisota
plates and they were in Maine. Nothing wrong with open carry
in Maine but all it would take is for someone to call 911 and all
hell would have broken loose, shutting down two major hiways.
State Police barracks less than a mile up the road.
I just calmly drove away shaking my head.

NHSparky

Ah, flatlanders

Graybeard

Why having a gun is just part of self-defense, and not necessarily the most important part.

I preach situational awareness to the grands so much they are sick of it. Doesn’t stop me though.