Braxton Anderson – Still rocking the lies for make believe Internet points
Braxton Lee Anderson III
Poe was recently looking at a potential Valor Friday topic for me when he came across a familiar name. Braxton Lee Anderson III, or simply Braxton Anderson III as he goes on Quora now, is still pushing his lies. Jonn posted about Braxton Anderson III five years ago.
The high points: Braxton Anderson III was presenting himself online as a recipient of the Combat Infantryman Badge. Not just one, he claimed four (an award that has never been made). He claimed to have been a retired Army officer, had graduated Airborne School, and saw combat in Panama, Iraq (Gulf War), and Afghanistan (twice).
His records support that he served honorably, earning the Expert Infantryman Badge (a laudable achievement), three Army Achievement Medals, and the Air Assault Badge. That wasn’t enough for him.
Since being outed (repeatedly) for his lies, Braxton Anderson III is active on Quora. There he answers questions with his years of service as an “infantry officer” and combat veteran.
He answers questions. A lot of them in fact. On a wide variety of topics, on which he is expert. Here are a few gems I picked out just in the last week or so. First is his take on Hillary’s E-mails. Good news. If you had done it, the same thing would have happened to you as happened to Hillary.
What if someone starts shooting for real at the range? Apparently you’re supposed to lay there and take it, because that wasn’t covered in the safety brief. I don’t know why he conflates intentional, felonious assault with a weapons malfunction. There is an obviously and readily apparent difference between the two. Even a Braxton Anderson III should see it.
And the best of all is his take on those who make the ultimate sacrifice. Men who jump on grenades to save their comrades have all done it accidentally. As evidence he provides that he wouldn’t jump on a grenade for his own wife. Not sure if that says more about him or her?
I wonder what Jack Lucas, James LaBelle, Richard Krause, Richard Sorenson, Bruce Carter, or Rodney Davis would have to say about it? Braxton Anderson III’s characterization of his fire teammates as “8 or so clowns” is also very endearing. I doubt he’d have to worry so much about slipping and falling on a grenade as much as he should have been worried about being tossed onto it by his clowns.
Category: Army, Blue Falcons, Stolen Valor
, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared Gorilla Glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble,
You’re like the end piece of a bread loaf. Everyone touches you but nobody wants you, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, puborectalis spasm, you are so bad, you’re a disappointment to the table of elements and the molecules that they represent, that came from space to form humans on Planet Earth, you are so awful, you make humanity want to beg for a near extinction level, asteroid impact event, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, He is so stupid, he overdosed on placebos. dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous
galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, when you hear that he claims to be suffering from TBI or PTSD, it’s not the traditional definition but He suffers from TBI (Tiny Ball Insecurity) as well as PTSD (Penis Too Small Disorder.) He has a face that screams “Amber Alert”, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions,
mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented sucking dicks, kutomba wewe, This clown dresses up like the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) for Easter, and likes to squat and drop colored Easter eggs out of his asshole, for the assorted homeless that gather for such festivities, next to the dumpster and used grease and cooking oil disposal bin, behind the Pilot Flying J truck stop, until either the consumables are depleted or the mob disperses. Bonus points if an accidental, bleeding, rectal prolapse and depressed crying occurs for the gathered audience. And the crowd goes wild!! Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you,
You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, If there was a stadium full of assholes, like maybe a medium sized NFL stadium, say 70,000 assholes, all sizes and colors, pink, brown, black, red, yellow, green, and then all types, big, small, middle, inflamed, dripping, unclean, festering, etc, a gun would go off and then fireworks and a cheer would arise and build to a deafening crescendo and there, on the 50 yard line,
the lights would come up and the announcer would say, “Yes, there he is folks, let’s have a round of applause…” and the stadium would start doing the wave and then more cheering, a cacophony of assholes, at first softly and then building, building, “king, king, king, king, King, King, King, King, KING, KING, KING, KING!!!! <b> KING OF THE ASSHOLES!!!!</b>, yes, quite a feat but you’ve achieved it. And you’re such a self-centered asshole, you’d take a bow, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, this guy would walk through it on his ass, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass,
, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, has all the charm and charisma of a burning Orphanage, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, smells like he wipes from back to front, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over,
You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), has not earned the Combat Infantryman Badge (CIB) not once and certainly not 4 times, is NOT a retired Army officer, had NOT EVER graduated Airborne School, and NEVER saw combat in Panama, NOR Iraq (Gulf War), and NOT EVER ONCE Afghanistan, not ever no place NEVER, is not a “SPOOK” or part of the intelligence community, and isn’t terribly intelligent at all,
No mercy
in view of his varied and wide spread whale shit, has now because of his buffoonery, assisted me in generating a new term with which we can use to identify him, “QUORA QUEEN!!”, kinda like a drag queen, but, well, you know, *wink wink*, Jesus Christ himself would take one look at you and shake his head ruefully, hopefully you’re about to get fed a steady diet of the old prison pork sword, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, This guy is a piece of lint on stinky goat nuts,
You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, This guy has spunk. And by spunk, I mean he likes to ingest copious, and I mean immense, monumental and breathtaking, amounts of Baby Batter, Ball Barf, Trouser Gravy, Man Chowder, High Fructose Porn Syrup, Daddy Sauce, Choad Nectar, Throat Yogurt, Penis Colada, Nut Butter, and Weiner Sauce, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, I hope that soon you get to meet Jesus, and by that, not die, but that would be nice, BUT and I mean “BUTT”, you get vigorously and repeatedly ventilated by a guy named Jesus in jail,
you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society
What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), ), ugly Nut Captain, supports bacteria, it’s the only culture he has, looks like an insecure prick socket, must have been born on a highway because that’s where a lot of accidents happen, taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge,
moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle, what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids,
ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt,
And a new addition thanks to SargeI hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT: Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag, erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage;
queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire, this guy has been a shitbag for years and the fucker *still* won’t flush, unfortunately, some turds just refuse to go down, what do you expect from someone who is mostly shit and hot air?
If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
We now include the <b> NEW & IMPROVED
OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
/FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value The As(s)teroid of Insults®™
FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
Here endeth the lesson.
Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “
So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The As(s)teroid of Insults®™
On George S. Patton: (Multiple sources but… http://www.pattonhq.com/speech.html )
“He could, when necessary, open up with both barrels and let forth such blue-flamed phrases that they seemed almost eloquent in their delivery. When asked by his nephew about his profanity, Patton remarked, <b> <i> “When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty. It may not sound nice to some bunch of little old ladies at an afternoon tea party, but it helps my soldiers to remember. You can’t run an army without profanity; and it has to be eloquent profanity. An Army without profanity couldn’t fight its way out of a piss-soaked paper bag.”
Speaking of using words, of late, I’ve been reminded of someone who gave us this classic piece, something many of us grew up with and is, in my opinion, worthy of consideration, having assembled this diatribe, I give to you this…The Man and His Work.
And finally, and Thank You for you patience and to the Admins who have not reached through the thread (yet) and beaten me. We’ll see how this is received.
And the entire Assembly of Miscreanted D’Weeds AND the Adorable Deplorables Chorused…AMEN!!!!!
All Hail The TAH As(s)teroid of Insults and the Keeper thereof, ChipNASA! ALL HAIL!!!l
I get a definite sense that you are trying to make a point there Chip.
Glorious.
At this point, I hereby move that the Ass-Teroid of Insults be henceforth known as The Planetoid of Insults. Damn, I didn’t realize how big this collection had gotten.
Private Braxton can be found on RallyPoint posing as an unverified LTC .
A further pronouncement from Private Braxton on Quora …. the little turd is telling his readers that US Marines are authorized to wear the Army Combat Infantry Badge ….. but they are too stupid to do so. What a piece of shit.
RallyPoint kicked “LTC” Braxton Anderson off their site yesterday.
That asshole Braxton Anderson III, AKA : “ BuckWheat; AKA : “SweetPea”, has posted a new fake document supporting his false claims on Quora. He asserts it proves ValorGuardians are lying about his bogus claims of being LTC, Airborne qualified, Ranger qualified , & the only soldier in USArmy history to be awarded the CIB five times.
In another post he describes his experiences exiting an aircraft at Airborne School & close quarter ground combat. BuckWheat is so full of shit.
I am suprised he has not been contacted by the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) for a position at All-Points Logistics.
The only true thing about him is that he’s full of Phil Monkress and John Giduck!
John Giduck = The Turd with a Face!
Kicked out at the start of Desert Storm, as others were being involuntarily extended and prior to the completion of his eight years of obligated service?
As Don Shipley and others here have pointed out, the posers that actually served are typically embarrassed by something they did while they were still in.