Beware the False Message…
…or something like that.
Out of sheer curiosity, I was looking for some entertaining stuff on the interwebs, and found these two videos. I enjoyed watching both of these videos. I hope you do, too.
There are all kinds of scams running these days, as you probably already know. My particular favorite was getting a fat envelope from NetSpend, a debit card company that rips off its customers, addressed to John Smith at my street address.That’s such an unusual name, isn’t it?
But there’s nobody named John Smith here in my castle, so I wrote ‘WRONG ADDRESS’ in big, bold letters along with “RETURN TO SENDER” on the front of the envelope and put it back in the mailbox. If you get something like that, don’t bother opening it. Just do the “RETURN TO SENDER” and ‘WRONG ADDRESS’ thing and put it back in the mailbox for pickup. The Post Office doesn’t care, and they’re under the gun, anyway, because they aren’t allowed to work overtime any more. Budget cuts – stuff like that.
I also cook.
Police chief gets a call from a scammer who threatens her, and then hangs up on her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs1VaQRMfNo
Sheriff’s deputy outscams a scammer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6Rwc8lNn0k
Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Darwin Awards
I really like the bastards who keep calling about my “student loan forgiveness application” when I didn’t have any student loans. (They really squirm after they give me the big spiel when I tell ’em.)
BCCG (Bombay Call Center Guy): Hello, you are eligible for student debt forgiveness. How much do you currently owe?
Hack Stone: Well, back in elementary school, one day I forgot my nickel to purchase my carton of milk. By now, with interest, that debt must be over $3. Can you help me?
My boss keeps getting calls from a company offering extended vehicle warranty’s. He acts excited and interested, they ask what kind of car he owns. He says “71 Dodge Dart”. Click.
Never thought of that. I love the calls from Apple support, of course I don’t own a Apple anything.
I always say 49 Hudson Super Wasp with Twin H power.
1980’s Jaguar. With cracked windshield, no side mirrors, and the transmission just fell out. It’s currently biodegrading in a driveway on Wilson Lane in Bethesda.
A couple years ago, my wife and I were watching TV, minding our own business. Her phone rings. She checks it, recognizes the number, and groans “Oh my God, THESE people again?” She tosses the phone to me and asks me to “deal with them.” So I answer the call. The caller is a rather pushy-sounding female who identifies herself as representing the California dem party and demands (she doesn’t ask, she *demands*) to speak to my wife. She also obscenely butchers the pronunciation of my wife’s first name. In accordance with my wife’s expressed wishes, I politely refuse. The bitch on the phone tells me that I *need* to put her on the line. I refuse again. Now the bitch calls me a sexist and says “Are you afraid to let her decide for herself?” I answer “She *did* decide for herself, as a matter of fact. She recognized your phone number, tossed me the phone, and told me to deal with you so she doesn’t have to, you fucking cunt. That pretty clearly indicates that she doesn’t want to talk to you. So how ‘bout you people quit harassing her?” The bitch tries to argue, insisting that I put my wife on the phone, and calling me all the Very Bad Things leftists hate. I tell her that she should at least try to pronounce my wife’s name right. Then she calls me a racist for trying to “deny my wife’s communication,” because my wife is “African-American.” I reply that my wife is not black. The bitch argues that she is. I ask her where she comes by that assumption. The bitch declares that my wife’s name is “a classic African name.” So I inform the bitch that my wife’s name is in fact a common *Cambodian* name, give a quick geography lesson on Cambodia’s location (“Between Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand, you stupid bitch”), and inform her that she’s a racist twat. Then I hang up. They haven’t called back, which my wife appreciates. It’s not the first time somebody made that assumption about my wife’s name, though.… Read more »
Have her only speak her dialect of Cambodian?
I’ve gone to nothing but German. Frustrates the bejabbers outta them.
Klingon works.
You should tell her that your wife is black only on Tuesdays and Thursdays and every fourth Wednesday.
That should do the trick.
Giggle snort tee hee guffaw hahahahahahahahaha
Land line goes to the answer machine on 4th ring. If you are not programed into cell (flipper) phone it goes to voicemail. ‘puter has a firewall that Hell itself would be proud of. Unsolicited snail mail gets returned in their own postage paid enclosed envelope. That way, at least, my buddies at USPS have a little more job security.
I don’t text, but I do have ice cream. Send cookies!
m r ducks?
m r not ducks.
m r 2
c m e d b d wings?
i l b
m r 2 ducks
Someday, we will all grow up.
Today is not that day.
After my wife met my father she realized that the chance of me growing up was slim to none, and Slim left town.
She married me anyway.
ABCD ducks
LMNO ducks
OSAR ducks
My household send’s credit card applications back after a pass thru the crosscut shredder. The prepaid envelopes are opened my machines and compressed air is used to help remove the application, the shredding plugs up working’s.
Must. Do. This.
Tanks for the Pro Tip Sapper3307!
Loved the use of prepaid envelopes for various somewhat mischievous purposes, but this takes it to a new and near ingenious level. Hmmmm.
One particularly stubborn junk mailer required extra effort.
Typed note: “Here is the weight your fine firm has removed from my mind. You can stop mailing me now.”
Placed in postage paid. envelope with their junk, torn-up.
Duct-Taped envelope to brick.
Dropped in mailbox at supermarket.
Oddly, no more junk from them. Ever.
Sapper3307;
I’m lost on what you do with the pre paid envelopes.
Years ago, before the advent of caller ID, my house would get calls from local contractors saying they were in the area and wondered if my father was interested in them stopping by to look at remodeling the kitchen.
Dad’s response was always the same. “Wait…what? You do kitchen remodels. If only you had called earlier. I just spent $10,000 to remodel the kitchen. You could have bid on the job.”
We would never hear from that company again.
Just think about all of the scams that All-Points Logistics in running….
Had a scam call message left this morning wanting me to call a non-toll-free number in a small town in northern Wisconsin about my non-existing “Microsoft Subscription” expiring.
1. I live near Microsoft HQ and know that they wouldn’t farm out their “technical support” to a small town of less than 1k people via a local phone number.
2. This was a poor quality computer voice message. 3. No hits on the number at 800notes but the text of the recorded scam message was common on google.
4. Digging deeper, the telephone number I was to call back happened to be listed as “available” by the wireless company.
Reported number to nomorobo & 800notes.
A friend gives the phone to his wife, who has schizophrenia and dementia, to keep them both occupied until the scammers hang up.
I’d also recommend these for more entertainment in the same vein: Jim Browning for a thorough look into those scammers. Kitboga for some good comedy as he generally just winds them up and wastes time and sanity or Scammer Revolts for a guy that likes to backtrack into their systems to scrub their files.
There’s a few others out there too mind. I don’t get those calls anymore which is a shame, because much like our resident TIGTA guy out here, I love yanking their chain.