William Derek Church; the Round Ranger
I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine” and Paul Tillson rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform.
He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;
I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.
And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.
ADDED: Here’s his Facebook, by the way.
Added by Sporkmaster.
It seems that he has another friend who faking along side him, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if.
Added by Sporkmaster
Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community.
Category: Phony soldiers
Guys, don’t pick on the kids. I don’t think those chilluns are his. Think about it for a second. There are limited wasy in which whales like Church can reproduce without damaging the environment.
Will Chamberlin, huh? Boy, that’s a familiar name… something in sports…. Oh! I have it! Wilt ‘the Stilt’ Chamberlain. Anyone besides me remember him?
Is it real, or is it ‘just a coincidence’?
OH, and while I’m at it, did BSPlenty here cough up any cash at all for the wedding?
Mrs. Church, if you’re reading this, P.T. Barnum said ‘there’s one born every minute’, referring to suckers and fools. You have been played, but good, but a con man, kiddo. Kick his fat as out of your life ASAP. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Anyone besides me notice the similarity to psul the uncool’s attempts at intimidation with the mere use of the phrases ‘your little blog’ and ‘copyright violation’? Do you think they know each other? Geez, not only has pickwickre peckrewood been dethroned, he also has people pretending to be just like him! Another one pulls a wickre! I’m sorta kinda impressed.
They need their own planet, that’s for sure.
I like zeroin’ on certain language:
Did he threaten any and or all of us:
” I formally invite each and every one of you for a Saturday lunch at my residence and the bright side of this is, I will see to it personally that you will not be late for your funerals on Sunday.”
Well I have checked with a Assistant US Attorney here in the Southern District of NY … and guess what?
Such language can land this POSER POS of sh!t in jail in 37 states. Further, federal charges could be on the table as well, should a AUSA wish to procecute!
Just sayin’.
Ooh, I hate it when a fat Ranger wannabe poser and his fat spouse get on here and try to take real veterans to task. Although I am starting to suspect that fat spouse is in fact fat Ranger wannabe and fat spouse has no idea she is being used on the interwebs to defend her fat piece of shit husband.
A textbook liar/poseur/pathetic piece of shit.
Look guys I’m done with the drama. I’m not sure what you want from me. All I can say is if my mistakes offended you i apologize. I have a lot of respect for anyone who has served. I know that people are going to talk shit about me and i expect that. But gentlemen the name calling and threats are to much. I did serve and had a very confusing career. I know you feel the need to scrutinize every little mistake and that to is expected. I’m tired, in pain and done with all of this. So let’s be done call a truce and be civilized shall we. As much as you despise poser and i tend to agree with you I really would have expected a more mature approach to the situation. Once again I’m done with the drama and I am respectfully asking that we drop the nonsense. Thank you,
William Church
Church, I don’t suppose that you would want to clarify your “very confusing career” with some documentation, would you? I mean, that’s the quickest way to end this battle. I know you want a truce after you inflamed everyone with your threats of violence and law suits, but that’s the only way this will completely end – put up and/or shut up.
Why is it that women are regarded as the victims in these situations? I mean, why treat the woman as some numbskull who has been adroitly duped by the superior, cunning male? She’s a grown up. Let her deal with the facts of her hubby’s ways which, by the way, she may be just too happy to accept.
The car. It must be saved.
@ 107 …
This fully retired Master Chief Petty Officer rejects your pathetic request. Further, based on you own comments above … it is game on.
Play stupid games …
Win stupid prizes …
BTW, where did you get the trousers?
Signed,
MCPO with a very long and Unconfusing Career
@Church
The time for a truce passed about 1100 last night.
I’m telling you guy…it is in YOUR best interest to come clean or this shit isn’t going away.
As embarrassing as the truth will be…it will be a LOT less painful than what you will deal with from the real Rangers and SOF guys at SOCNET and ProfessionalSoldiers websites when they get a hold of this.
See…those are the guys you would have served with. Who have access to all of the records. And while we take no real joy in outing posers…they take devlish delight in it.
https://www.facebook.com/Ssgtsniper?fref=ts
Look at the link to his Facebook Ssgtsniper ?? Really you fat piece of shit !
Tough talk doesn’t work, Church. Lord knows, real lawsuits, let alone threatened ones, don’t. And you really ought to know that physical threats are senseless around here. So, what’s left? Well, try a sux donut. It’s called the truth and an apology. Sucks, don’t it?
@ Church,
Another thing, being a POSER POS is one thing, but compounding the insult by posing in front of a great American muscle car and subjecting it to an inordinate load is just unforgivable!
PS: Congrats … you are famous now … ah … infamous … This is your legacy … https://www.google.com/#q=William+Derek+Church
Church: confusing career? Not really, amigo. Per your assignment info above, you
1. Joined the ARNG in Feb 1994
2. Went to your unit.
3. Were sent to Basic (9 wks) in Jun 1994
4. Completed Basic and went back to your unit.
5. Were sent to AIT (6 weeks) in Aug 1995.
6. At the end of your AIT (13 Sep 1995), you were discharged – from the ARNG, completely. You had no further service.
Somewhere along the way, you picked up PFC – which was your rank at the time you were discharged.
I don’t know what happened to abruptly terminate your career in the ARNG, and I don’t really care. What I care about is your lies since.
According to your records, you never were a Ranger; you never served with the 82nd; and your only decoration is a NDSM. You never served in combat.
Yet there you are in that photo above, rockin’ SSG stripes, a Purple Heart, the Ranger scroll, an 82nd patch, and other stuff you never earned.
Until you man up and admit your lies, as far as I care you can GFY. Any “pain” you’re feeling now is from a self-inflicted wound.
Put up your records then Church! You lying sack of crap. Your records are right on up there. If you had any active duty time at all, no matter if there were even breaks in service they would have shown up at the Archives.
Tell me shitstain… hell, tell all of us your Dates of Service, Units Served with (from squad all the way up to Division level, and of course “Regimental”), oh and how about dates and class numbers for Airborne, Infantry, Ranger, Path Finder.
Cannot be all that “confusing” can it?
Hey, Church, if you don’t like being the object of snide remarks about your flatout lies, then come clean.
‘Long and confusing career’?
You had 18 months in the Natioanl Guard, you dope, and one whole month on active duty. I have more time in the shower in the WAVES’ barracks at Quarters K in Arlington than you have in the military, you imbecile.
And on top of it all, you conned that naive woman into marrying you? How much were you going to take her for? Were you going to wait until she figured out she’d been conned? Guess what, her wait is over, fat boy. I already notified her she’s married to a con artist who lies like a Persian rug. See my comment right here: http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=39182&cpage=3#comment-1075960
And quit wasting everyone’s time by keeping the lies going. ‘Fess up and shut up. Go tell your missus that you’re just a big fat lying sack of shit, and let her get an annulment before you do more damage.
Oh, if this one doesn’t work out, what are you going to do? Disappear, and pretend you offed yourself? Some other con man already did that. It got him thrown into jail for fraud.
William Aka Derek Aka Kiaya: Fuck you. You have probably ran the entire Stolen Valor routine bullshit faster than anyone on this page ever. Here’s the checklist donut boy.
Dress like a sack of shit in a uniform and medals you don’t rate.
Get busted.
Find out you were busted and create a sock puppet to defend you and say he was with you
cuss out and threaten real veterans,
Threaten to get your unit to take them out.
Have your Spouse (probably you again)come on here and back your claims.
Claim a TBI and “Medal Plate in Chest”
Claim sealed records.
Claim to be better educated than anyone on here.
Say we are bullies.
Claim to have a fatal disease you are fighting.
Claim Plagerism
Claim copyright infringement on your public photos
threaten to sue.
Again threaten people by inviting them to confront you, implying that you will off them.
Claim the blaring uniform mistakes( which you can’t even name unless they were pointed out) were minor things overlooked in a rush and were magically fixed before the REAL photos.
Start trying to go through your internet profile and get rid of all the evidence of your shitbaggery.
Sullenly realize that you have been outed and are screwing with people that have played this game before and you are only making it worse, then ask for it to all go away.
Sorry fat ass you are internet famous and Google-screwed.
William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger.
William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.
There,, that should help keep the google hits up chubby.
@113. MSG
Hey Dereck, “Retired Military”
Really?
BULLSHIT.
*I’m* Retired Military,
Master Sergeant is retired,
There are about 1,000 folks here on this blog that are truly retired and spent 20+ years in the service of this country and you *maybe* spent 13 farking months in you piece of shiat and you want to claim OUR status as well???
I have orders, letters, certificates and citations as proof.
I’m not confused about the specific dates I went to Basic, Tech school, My first, second and 3rd and 4th duty stations, the squadron numbers, the awards I received and display on my uniform AND from memory and from public RECORD, can proved VERY EASILY every BIT of my service.
I don’t even HAVE to go to NPRC because photos and my name are out there as official U.S. military public record and on the internet. …and all I did was train people and hump FARKING CARGO, BAGGAGE and Passengers around the GLOBE. I was not war hero.
You are a coward, a fake a liar and an absolute shitbag.
Come clean, apologize and we *may* not drag your ass through the federal law enforcement system for the actions *you* have committed.
Your choice there “Milly Vinily”.
@2/17AirCav, the answer to your question about why women are so easily duped is simple: they are desperate and lonely. There are men who look for exactly that, they feed the need, and the women fall for it, frequently at great cost.
In that sense, they are victims of their own naivete, because the attention they get — all the right words, all the right things done, even romantic stuff like date night and flowers — fills a void.
And even if someone points out the reality, they go into denial about it. Bernie Madoff was great at conning people into letting him take their money, their life savings. He even conned financial institutions. He ripped off people who knew and trusted him, but good, and they will never get back what he stole from them.
There’s that warning, that red flag, that people tend to ignore: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. It isn’t just women who fall prey to this. Men do, too.
I would like to be there when the fit hits the shan and the missus finds out she’s been had.
@119. Nice work there.
@120. We, of course, have no direct control over whether he will be prosecuted for Federal law violations but I do agree that any reasonable prosecutor will be influenced strongly by his coming clean and apologizing.
And please, no more bullshit about “sealed personnel records”; they only exist in Hollywood movies and the fevered minds of phonies and posers…
His page is now down.
The 5 Stages of Grief:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Mourning
5. Acceptance
We are now at stage 3
I just got this in a Facebook chat message, how do y’all think I should handle it? Personally, I would tell him to bring it over here to this Blog, this Post, and let us all hear it. I am going to reply TELLING, (not asking), him to begin his reply with these things or I will not respond:
Ranger class number and year.
Ranger unit name and number, as per scroll shown on uniform.
Unit assigned to when Purple Heart earned.
When promoted to E-6.
Admission that there are no sealed records pertinent to you.
This is what I found in FB chat just now:
My email wdchurch76@gmail.com feel free to get the real story if you wish.
@122 2/17 Air Cav
Good point and thanks for the clarification…I stand corrected. ..”we” and anyone that feels the need to maybe bring things like this to the attention of certain authorities or the media, is more like what I meant when I said “We” as in “The public and concerned citizens”…we.
Oh and “as to”.
/He’s an ASS TOO.
Oh by the way William Derek Church The round ranger, the Chinese phone book called, they want ALL their Chins back,
ChipNASA: it’s theoretically possible this tool was retired – medically – for any one of a number of reasons at the end of his AIT. Not very likely IMO, but theoretically possible.
That doesn’t alter the fact that he’s a LSoS and a fraud, and has claimed a sh!tload of stuff he never did or earned.
I got stuck on “the wife” saying that she has known him a long time. She’s 23. How long is a “long time?” And in what sense does she mean “known?”
Ok guys here you go i need the webmasters email address to send the few record i posses . I apologize and I hope that clears this up. Otherwise I’m done. I will not be providing any further documentation. I’m respectfully asking leave me be. We have enough going on without dealing with this mess. And as for Chucky Beheler and Tony Taylor you definitely have no right to bring their names into it.
This drama is still going on? Chief Shipley wasn’t exaggerating when he said, “These guys will take their Stolen Valor to the grave.”
Go eat a bag of dicks, William Derek Church!
@131- it’s always funny how after getting all the lies pointed out, the posers and their defenders suddenly want respect
@129 Hondo,
Oh sure, as usual you’re completely correct…..(no snark)
I just glossed over that fact seeing as how just about *everything* else he’s said was a complete and boldfaced lie that were he to claim that, I’d figure that was BS too.
@126 Before you reply, please let the rest of us get the popcorn finished and some ice in the cooler. I want to be comfortable when I read the Round Ranger’s reply.
I am sure the “real” story is going to be a fucking doozy!!!
Slimeball.
here is my confusing career… Enlisted into DEP 11/20/1982 Entered OSUT @ Ft Benning, Ga. 1st Platoon C-8-2 9/19/1983 Graduated Infantry OSUT 12/17/1983 Graduted US Army Airborne School 2/2/1984 Arrived Ft bragg, N.C. Replo Deopot fro a few days and arrived at my Unit, Wpns Platoon B Co 3bn 325th AIR. March 1985 Rotated with entire Company to Vicenza to become A 4/325th ABCT Entire Bn Rotated back to Ft Bragg arriving in July 1986 as 4/325th AIR Reassigned to CSC 4/325th then HHC when CSC became D Co. ETS’d from HHC 4/325th AIR July 1987 Assigned to CSC 1/182 Inf (Mech) MAANG August 1987, reflagged E Company 1/182 the E 1/101 but I rmeained there as a TOW Section Sgt 11H2PE9 until rentering active Duty 10/17/1993 I was assigned to Hohenfels, Germany as a member of HHC 1/4th Infantry (OPFOR) where I remained until being injured in April of 1994. I sought and was given a reassignment to US Army recruting Company Boston, Ma. in June of 1994 until my ETS in July of 1995. I was discharged with an Honorable Discharge after 12 years of Service in the US Army and Army National Guard. Awards? Not many to speak of. Highest Award was only an AAM (think I had 6 or so of those) Numerous letters of commendation, letters of achievment, School certificates.. Not really a whole lot. I was a good Soldier and Decent NCO. Highest rank held was E-5, took a reduction in rank in order to go back on Active Duty. Never got it back as I was unable to be promoted due to being on a P3 profile that was precluding me from continuing my military career. I am now a 90% Disabled veteran according to the veterans Administration. Something I said to Jonn yesterday… I saw men killed in those 12 years, saw men severly injured and disabled for the rest of their lives. I saw things that I will never be able to unsee… when you show up in your fucking clown suit of a Uniform, you shit all over the memories… Read more »
@131….Asshat (Ass beret?)
There’s something at the top of the page called “Contact Us” maybe you should start there.
Not only that, we probably don’t really need to see your “super sekret records” as we have them from the National Personal Records Center through a FOIA request.
Try a quick look at that and then explaining where the errors are.
/I shait things smarter than you.
I really need to use spell check… especially when pissed off.
@131 Forgive me for being cynical, but I am betting that the ‘few records you possess” will either detail the fact that you did the normal shit that most PFC’s would during their initial entry into the service OR they are going to be fakes that make you out to be John Fucking Wayne. I am betting on the latter, you nasty fucking turd.
Oh, and you don’t set the terms here. You are a poser, you are lower than whale shit and you don’t tell anyone when we are done with you. You should be sitting in a fucking jail cell for stolen valor. Consider the abuse you are receiving here a fucking new years gift you maggot.
The godfather of my children lives in Lenoir. I am going to see if he knows you or your family. He was born and raised there so he just might. I will get him to help me spread the truth about your lying ass. Now go get fucked.
I just sent him the following e-mail:
Derek Church:
If you want to be truthful, go ahead. I don’t have the time nor the need for bullshit like you have been trying to spread.
I am TELLING, (not asking), you to begin your reply with these things or I will not respond:
1.Ranger class number and year.
2.Ranger unit name and number, as per scroll shown on uniform.
3.Unit assigned to when Purple Heart earned.
4.When promoted to E-6.
5.Admission that there are no sealed records pertinent to you.
If you have answered the above, go ahead.
As for your request that I meet you at the Darby Queen, answer this: When did you go there, (in training).
And, of all your threats in the three FB messages that you left while I slept peacefully last night, not one of them is a valid threat.
This is not my first rodeo, I know what I am doing, and I am told that I do it quite well. If only you knew just the slightest about my vocational background, perhaps you’d be just a little more selective in what you say.
Bring it on, inquiring minds want to know.
@131 – Going back on the offensive, are you? Can you wait a few minutes? I need to pop some popcorn and put some soda on ice.
Hey, anyone here ever try buttered popcorn and wine?
Before I forget, per ChipNASA – AS TO, AS TO, AS TO!!!!!!
That’s two – count ’em – two people who have pulled a wickre so far this month.
Just out of curiosity, Church, how were you planning to dispose of those of us who might answer your invitation to our own funerals on Sunday? Was it a bullet through the forehead? Poison in the mushrooms? Blowtorch and pliers?
Just askin’.
They have had time to check in with a lawer and discover that they/he/her/them are the only ones who violated any laws.
The threats are always the most amusing.
Near as I can figure, the only thing we are missing from the POS checklist is documentation of pedophilia and/or fraud. And we may indeed have that in an inadvertent admission of hers, assuming that is her, which the level of vitriol seems to substantiate.
What a soap opera! May even include bigamy? Wow!
Is the popcorn ready yet?
So I have the documentation we have ready for your review. Tell me how to submit it and stop talking shit. Or do you just want it typed out…although that also proves nothing. But
@144- since you apparently have the awareness of a brick wall, look at the top of the page. See the nice link that reads “Contact Us”? Try clicking it
@ 128 … Ah sh!t … Can I use that one? There is a fat 30’s something fu*k a few offices down from me rocking his tupae’ and 15 year govt career like he is a James Bond or something!
William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger. William Derek Church The round ranger.
William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.William Derek Church The round ranger.
This round boy looks like he has porked a couple of two-holes in his day.
@141
That was beautiful.
Church: the “Contact Us” link near the top of the page (immediately below the “This Ain’t Hell” banner) has Jonn’s contact info, including his e-mail address.
Cannot wait to see this shit… Still waiting for the entire 75th to come beating down on us as was promised. Has anyone seen anyone other than a sockpuppet say that they served with El Blimpo?
@150- I sure haven’t yet
“his records are sealed”….. that’s amusing.
No one’s records are “sealed”, or “classified” or “confidential”, anyone’s military records can be obtained through the “Freedom of Information Act”. That’s how frauds are busted, their real records are obtained by a FOIA request.
Kiaya, Any real Ranger would not take this sort of abuse and he would throw down his DD-214 and shut us all up.
You’re 23 and you might have some education but you have zero knowledge of the United States military. Almost all posting on this forum are military or were military and they know a fraud when they see one and your “husband” is a fraud.
You’re about to learn a very “hard” life lesson.
Good luck.
Team Sergeant