Ladies and Gents, I present to you your 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament Champion….
[Note, push play on this shitty ass recorder to get official music.]
I urge you to click through and see, but we got a pretty candid picture of our winner, what is seen cannot be unseen.
John “Gi-Duck” Giduck.
The final tally: Giduck def. Monkress 65.15% to 34.85%.
Category: None
@30. Ya know, if it weren’t for a couple of cheesy, “There I was, no shit” books from the 80’s nobody would give a flying rat’s ass about the LRP/LRRPs from Viet Nam. They were just a bunch of dope-smoking draftees.
Now the LRS guys from the 80s-2000’s. Those guys were the shizzle. Those guys did the job a 10000000000 times better than the VN guys ever could.
Hey ShOrTbUsIdiOtPrIcK41, do you have a match?
I do, YOUR FACE AND MY ASS!!!
I was originally for Monkeyturd, but after seeing the depth of Giduck’s legal shenanigans and their consequences on real Warriors, I was for Giduck all the way!! I also have to wholeheartedly agree with y’all that say the title of “First Loser” belongs to Monkeyass as well, he,…. almost did it, he has nothing to show for it, and he had his lackey “Pee Wee Herman” Wickre promote him all the way to first loser! Hey that thread would have died if it weren’t for “Pee Wee”!
@46 I’m well aware he served but by embellishing his service making his self King Shit of FUCK Island over there, it kinda tarnishes everythign else….
You all know what they say…One Aw Fuck can wipe out a whole lotta Atta Boys.
On a weird note …
http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/10/halfway-heroes-near-veterans-seek-recognition-for-almost-serving-in-military/
*facepalm* they have an organization now … can I be the “I nearly got a MoH I only was not US citizen, not in the navy, not a SEAL, never deployed, no HALO .. well .. but I wanted … in a dream …” dude? *sigh*
TGIF …
DARN ! I was voting for monkey-ass. I can never pick a winner with these polls……….whose next?
What no full frontal?
At the start of this years tournament, I supported Crotchrot 100%. After his early demise in the tourney, I threw my support behind the Gee Duck man. It was the Spetznatz shovel training video that did it.
Hondo, yes, that’s the one! Should I share it with you all?
This gets funnier every day. It’s a sure cure for back spasms. I laughed so hard yesterday that they fled in terror, then I bumped into the couch in the dark on my way to sleepy time and WHAM-O! got it right back, but laughing again this morning has cured my pain.
I CAN WRITE AGAIN! I swear, as Dumbasadoorknob is my witness, that all my stories will be better than anything he EVER thought of spewing, and my cats will never have to eat radishes again!
Well, they DO like the radish leaves, though. Now if I can just figure out how to make my camera work on video, I can get Mike doing the cheetah stud dance.
@54–that’s the Duffle Blog…satire.
Although good satire is about 80-90 percent truth. That being said, if those guys were real, I’d give them more credit than DullASS, Phildo, or Shovelhead.
Giduck has WON, and I as well as other FSRT’s (Field Shovel Repair Technicians)everywhere are applauding!!
The WitLess one is all ass hurt over the pictures of his “buddy”… he probably wanted to surprise him this weekend with a new shovel, some Baby Duck Merlot and a matching set of assless chaps in bright pink that they can wear at the next DZ party
Dammit, y’all done messed up. Since you didn’t give ShOrTbUsRiDeR even an honorable mention he is polluting the blog again. Sounds like some sour grapes there on post 30. Just sayin’
@54 Duffel Blog. My eyeballs almost rolled on the desk before I realized that!
Think the VA will give me a rating for PTSD after seeing that pic? I’m permanently traumatized now.
Gi-Duck is indeed the biggest loser in a field full of world-class losers.
I think the picture should have a Giduck mounting Phildo.
Pride and domination, you see.
@30 This is our backyard.
I would have been happy either way I voted twice for Monkey ass and once for Goop-dick.
If not for Paul K Wickre, Phildo would have long ago been forgotten. Monkress’s half-hearted attempt at at legal action and his trying to scrub the internet of his ass hattery pales in comparision to Giduck.
Also, Monkress at least served a full hitch in the Navy and was injured to the point of drawing a VA pension. His SEAL buffoonery was just an embellishment to back up his talent for running a business. More than likely Phildo would have been just as successful without dropping the SEAL bomb.
He’s still a shit sandwich, but not a soggy one.
Giduck on the other hand never even finished boot camp. His entire business is based on lies. That he outed Special Forces soldiers and sued them is lower then whaleshit.
There were a few posters here that were able to rightfully get his name back in the spotlight, and nullify the bullshit sockpuppet/supporter antics of Paul K Wickre.
Thanks to Jonn too for letting Dallas Wittengen post on this thread. It’s always good to let that asshole vent once in a while to show the caliber of douche bag that has been on here before.
Lastly I propose a new tournament be held along with the Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial, The Pee-Pee Weaker Sockpuppet award, for friends, relatives and ass-hats who defend or enable posers.
@65…
“I think the picture should have a Giduck mounting Phildo.”
I made this for Whitlesses thread but it fits here too…
http://i.imgur.com/15yI2zO.jpg
I am very honored to receive this award thank you all for your support.I will promptly update my bio.
Who do I send a shipping address to for my trophy?Or do I pick it up in person?
I’m sure the mattresses will burn now lol.
Well at least Johnny can take consolation in winning the 2013 SVT and receiving the Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial trophy after getting his ass handed to him in court.
Took 8 people to hand it to him too. That’s a LOT of ass.
@68.
Nice.
@69.
Maybe COD to your next Shovel-do class or Junior College speaking engagement.
Does everyone who comments, or views this blog have a lawyer on retainer for the inevitable fallout?
@73. Well, you just commented. If you don’t, then the answer is No. If you do, the answer is Maybe.
GT, here’s a beer story for you to celebrate with: http://newssun.suntimes.com/business/21808055-420/lake-bluff-brewing-nabs-gold-in-first-competition.html
And I suggest we find a supplier of Briarpatch Turd Polish for GIDuctape, for his very own prize.
@73,
I spent the night at a Holiday Inn Express last night….
/ChipNASA Esq. 😀
So we’re done with Monkeyass, right? No more Monkeyasss.
I need to pay attention to my own stuff, not these dumpster divers.
Monkress not being voted belle of the ball is going to rustle those jimmies more than if he were. Mission accomplished TAH.
I really think that Chelle Lynn Tesla should have at least been a finalist . . .
But this douchewagon seems to be fairly deserving as well.
Well done, all!
It should have been the leg man, but if it had to be someone else, im sure leg man would have personally voted for GI duck
@77.
Not by a longshot.
I’m twirling my Bowie Shovel around with glee!! Hai YA!!!
As disheartened as I am that Monkeyass lost at losing, I’m even more concerned about how TSO obtained that top photo.
Sweet baby hay-soos……
I did, however, appreciate the previous winner stopping by to pass the torch for the lighting of this burn pit. Thanks #30! You’ll always hold a special place at the top of my shit list. Smooches!
Perhaps Phildo and Giduck could have held a debate at a Junior College as they both seem to prefer that forum to expound on their intelligence, virtue, military acumen, business savvy and such.
And perhaps we could moderate one.
That would be cool.
I know a lot of work goes into this tourney and exposing these losers. Thanks for making it disgustingly entertaining TSO, Jonn, et al.
@ 73 AbnMike … let me bee cleer … my laweryers will procecute any one who maiks such alligations against me. The alligators who do such alligations will be procecuteded to the full extent of my mind in federal, state, and local corts of opinnions that have juricdicksuns over the internalnet pacifically bloogers and vetturuns vulkters!
Any mure qeustuns?
@73
“Does everyone who comments, or views this blog have a lawyer on retainer for the inevitable fallout?”
Not sure if you are a troll. The remedy for speech that is false is speech that is true. In order to get posted on here a person has to be pretty much stone-cold busted.
Pretty much every phony Identified here has been outed by the media or has had been exposed by getting a copy of their information via a FOIA.
They can cry and bitch all they want but unless they have official ( not forged) documentation that rebuts any statements on here they don’t have a leg to stand on. Though there are some threats of libel-slander and “Lawers” no one ( as far as I know of) has ever taken TAH to court. There was one sock-puppet supporter who had a real-estate Lawyer write a letter to a service provider (which was promptly shot down and laughed at). Another phony ( this year’s winner) took another organization to court for exposing him. The case was dismissed and he had to pay the defendants legal fees.
Other than rightfully exposing them as being frauds, we also have the freedom of speech to opine on their character.
Dallas Wittengen is allowed to post here ( at the discretion of the blog owner). He has constantly made comments that are flat out lies but just his opinion. He can opine that we are “valor vultures, Fuckstix, jackasses, assholes, weirdos, clueless and Goddam civilians”.
No one really gives a shit about his opinions. The legal door swings both ways. When you open the door to a courtroom, your reputation is at risk as well. The people exposed here would rather stay in the corners, like the roaches they are.
Congrats to Duck-suck. Now maybe Psul will crawl back into his shithole and shut up.
Phool
Guys, ABNMIKE is coming at it from teh standpoint that Giduck sued the entire SOC Net. He’s not a troll, he was being serious. But you needn’t worry, I doubt Giduck wants to pay anymore legal fees.
#73 – I’m represented by the esteemed law firm of Dewey, Chetham and Howe….
Thanks #90. I thought people would be clear enough understanding Giduck’s MO to see I was being sarcastic.
Unfortunately many users on SOCNET who made much less harsh comments about Giduck than have been on this excellent site are still paying their lawyers after having been served by Giduck.
As a mea culpa although I do read TAH regularly I don’t comment that often, but had been adding additional info about Giduck from other sources throughout the playoffs, I mistakenly thought that my screen name would be familiar enough for people to see I was being sarcastic without adding a /sarc.
Mike … Eyes remmembebers youse!
Remember that old Greyhound Tune, ” Thank God And Greyhound He’s Gone”??????????????????????????, well lets move on, we still have a few more phonys to weed out. Good job Jonn. TSO, Hondo, and the rest of you guys.
@93. Wait…You were JOKING!?!?!?!?!?! Damn, damn, damn. Now I gotta cancel my lawer. That’s a cool $39.43 I’ll never see again.
For once, I actually picked the winner. GI_Duck for the win!!!
Now, I’m off to find some eye bleach after seeing that picture.
WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN!!!
Giduck needs to have his clock cleaned for good. I mean ‘for good’ in several ways.
That’s one thing. Another thing is the way these people waste their time, and the time of other people, dispersing poor quality info and instructions and getting paid for it. The most recent example is ‘Nikko’ the wonder boy, who has more baloney in his resume than a Chicago deli.
They aren’t much more than con artists, but con artists usually leave, once they’ve collected cash, which is mostly they’re after. Some of them are lethal, the nastiest example being Sante Kimes, who was convicted for two murders, one of them being Irene Silverman, among other serious crimes.
The fact that people like Monkress and Giduck and Nikko can set up shop some place and sucker people into paying them for absolute crap instruction(Giduck and Nikko), and even lie their way into getting Federal funding (Monkress), says a lot. So I see nothing wrong with exposing these people for what they are – liars, frauds, looters and pillagers.
However, if it hadn’t been for Monkeyass’s sidekick pickwick peckerwood running his mouth for the past several months, I doubt Monkeyass might have made it as far as he did, or received such a level of notoriety.
Can’t the prize be split? Both of these execrable ass maggots richly deserve only half the win.
Or maybe Monkress can be awarded the First Annual Giduck\Wickre Fluffer Award?
BS monkyazz needs a Florida recount.