Jonathan Mark Shaton; douche nozzle phony
Jonathan Mark Shaton thinks he looks pretty bad ass wearing an Army uniform with a month’s salary of shinies on it. But as far as the Army is concerned, he has no records, I checked to see if he was on active duty and nope. NPRC never heard of him either;
An address search on him says that he has lived in the Virginia Beach/Newport News area and shows an FPO address;
So he might have been in one of the more damp services. But, Anthony, who sent us the FOIA and photo last night says that the Ranger Regiment has never heard of him (he’s wearing 75th Regimental crests). Anthony also has submitted a FOIA request for any Naval service. But the three CIBs is a dead giveaway. And who hides their jump wings behind their lapel, if that’s what it is.
Category: Phony soldiers
also, he didn’t put the blue disks behind the brass, and what is that squeezed in between his PH and ARCOM? It looks like it has an anchor on it. Oh, and E-7 in less than 12 yrs? Even with a SF tab, I would still call bs.
looking again, I think he may be wearing crossed arrows, instead of crossed rifles on his lapel, but is still wearing the Infantry cord.
this guy has clearly Shat-on real soldiers everywhere. I’m sorry for the triple post, I just got up.
Four Navy Achievement Medals, next to Purple Heart Medal.
And the dead give away … the extra long shirt and associated protruding cuffs and the oversized pants.
Nothing says, “look at me even more closely” than uniform items saying, “look at me even more closely”.
REAL DEAL
NAMs? yea, those are def above the ARCOM in order of precedence when you are Army. If he’s rockin’ a fistful of NAMs, then John may be right in his hunch this guy was a squid. Wonder why he’s playing SF instead of SEAL?
Combat Service Identification Badge (CSIB) should be on right pocket. Looks like the “This We’ll Defend” Drill Sergeant Badge. Anyway, it’s not a distinctive-combat oriented unit as far as I can tell, that would get him that Purple Heart.
Not positive, but I believe that’s a recruiter badge on his right pocket (viewer’s left). I don’t see a FWTS-SSI (‘combat patch’), either. So I’m kinda wondering where he’d have had a chance to get that purple heart.
Oh, and if he’s claiming to be in the Army – he bolo-ed his medals. For folks in the Army, the AAM takes precedence over any sister-service Achievement Medal authorized for wear. The tool has those two reversed.
And, as Jonn said – the CIB w/2 stars is absurd and a dead giveaway. That would require service in in 1953 – during the Korean War CIB period. Only one is awarded per authorized qualifying period, no matter how many times an individual sees combat during that qualifying period. This dipstick wasn’t freaking born in 1953.
Four Navy Achievement Medals and AAMs?
I like his cute little bangs.
i’m thinking his second DUI arrest is of course associated with his overwhelming PTSD:
http://court-records-management.com/record/1932445/GT12007661-00
@ Hondo, it’s fuzzy, but I think it’s a drill badge.
Chap: theoretically possible if he was prior Navy, then joined the Army. But given how stingy the Navy is with awards, well, I’d find that many NAMs alone hard to buy unless the guy had at least 2 enlistments in the Navy.
Edited to add: per the court records Sustainer found, that would be difficult. The jackass appears to be no older than 34 (he apparently was 32 in early 2012).
Sustainer, Andy: my bad; you guys are right. Drill Sergeant Badge it appears to be.
In either case, it’s highly doubtful that’s his “combat patch”. And I really wanna hear his story about how he got a Purple Heart w/o also having an authorized combat patch.
There are ways that could happen, most of which involve prior service with another branch of service. But since he’s also claiming 12 years in service in the Army, well, I want to hear how that happened. 2013-12 = 2001 – and it’s not yet September.
I also think we need to properly punctuate this tool’s last name: Shat-on.
IMO, that’s exactly what he deserves – preferably by an elephant or two.
Or maybe the entire Ranger Regiment, since he appears to be wearing their crests.
Sustainer with the swift records search. Isn’t Virginia Beach a Navy town as well? Wonder if he’s been kicked out of the Navy for his battles with the demon rum? Oh! You know what would be better? If he was still active Navy!
Andy, ive known quite a few E-7s in the infantry with less than 8 years, 12 isnt a stretch at all.
totally disconnected from this ass munch, hes as wrong as two boys fucking in church
Smitty, honesty, when I was in, most E7s I met had more than 12. But you have to remember, I started out as a 11M. No cool schools for us. I did meet one 1SG that made his E8 in 14 yrs, but later he told me he paid for it. He didn’t get E9 until he had over 20.
Where to begin?
Turd.
@1 I have LESs from the late 80s as an “E6 over 3”. I had lots of college and had been awarded an SF Tab as a CPL. Finance even called me to say that they thought there was an error. So, had I stayed in, I could have made E7 long before 12 years.
Gents,
Lets cut this fella some slack….this fine fecal specimen may very well be a member in good standing of “Almost Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America”,AIAVA.
And the associate organization, “Totally Useless Rectal Discharge”, TURD.
He mighta caught the PTSD after having his ass handed to him by a steroid fed bouncer at a male strip club during that particularly brutal engagement we now know as the “Bitch slap fight of table 23”.
He may even now be filing for VA benefits…
Ooooh! Look at all them there purty medals!!
Navy awards? For an Army person? Dontcha just love how you can go to a surplus store and but it ’cause it’s so purty and goes with your plaid vest?
And he can’t tie a bowtie properly.
What else is he lying about?
Makes me wonder where the picture was taken. It looks like Shaytun is standing in a reception area of a church or funeral home.
Tool.
@22, from the bowtie, I’m going to say it was a wedding. Wonder if he was posing at his own wedding like that one d-bag Paul Tillson. Search the archive for that name if you don’t know who he is.
I’m amazed in how the consistently seem to find a uniform that is WAY too big for them and seem not to care nor understand how ridiculous they look
I’ll skip the awards as I’m a noob BUT! …
“Friends don’t let friends skip leg day” … by the way those pants are hanging dude has legs skinnier than his arms ..
@19…the “Seven and Seven Club” was not that rare in SF back in the day (one tab Ranger, one beret green).
There is another Shat-on that is a few years younger who is in the Navy (MM3). Sometimes the names cross index (I’ve had other people with my name have their addresses on my records). But this douche nozzle is on another level. Looks like he was dressed up for Halloween while in church. Isn’t that a special circle of Hell ?
my father made his 7 in 7 years(80s era SF), my squad leader back in 05-06 made 7 in 6 and change. in infantry units with a tab, making 7 in 7 isnt hard at all, at least it wasnt 7 years ago. with all the cuts now, id be surprised to see anyone fast track like that. (even if they have a third award CIB)
The real reason he’s rocking 3 CIBs and not wearing an FWS badge is because he belongs to a unit that none dare speak it’s name. It’s a unit so exclusive and small that only the POTUS, SECDEF, and Secretary of Agriculture know of it’s existence. A unit so black that the Army had to come up with a darker shade of black for it. I’m risking OPSEC here, but he’s OBVIOUSLY a member of the 69th Dipsy Dumpster Repair Battalion (ABN).
@Hondo. FYI, the Recruiter’s Badge goes on the wearer’s left pocket, not the right.
And while I’m at it, his Infantry cord is worn improperly. The cord has an end with an overhand knot (“Half” a not, if you will.) The cord should be worn with the knot on the back of the wearer’s right shoulder, so that cord doesn’t interfere with the blouse’s right shoulder loop. That’s why turd burglar’s shoulder loop looks bunched up.
C’mon, this guy has to be legit. Long tab: check. Short tab: check. 75th Ranger Rgt DUIs on the epaulettes: check.
He just never got orders for the SSI-FWS’ he earned with his three CIBs (over less than 30 months overseas; you can barely make out four overseas service stripes on the right sleeve), and he never even got a regimental affiliation on his ERB. He’s squared away and doesn’t want to wear stuff he can’t prove he earned.
He DID get a DUI in VA Beach in March 2010, and followed that up with a second in Chesapeake last July, though. If I get bored later I’ll check some surrounding counties.
Make that both DUIs in March, almost two years apart to the day. His was convicted of the second last July, and I missed the link above. I’ve been checking VA’s system.
3 times in a row, sorry.
To clarify: 75th Ranger DUIs = Distinctive Unit Insignia: worn on our shoulders to represent the unit we’re currently in. Regimental Distinctive Insignia are the DUIs worn above unit awards on the right chest (combat arms Soldiers are automatically affiliated with their first regiment, but may submit a request for affiliation with another unit; while support personnel are affiliated with their parent regiment–MP, Quartermaster, Engineers, etc) even if they are in a combat arms unit.
The only DUIs Shat-on probably earned are the Driving Under the Influence convictions he’s gotten in the habit of receiving in the past three years.
He’s rocking the new One Size Fits All dress uniform. Just pull it off the rack and wear it. Only $19.95 plus S/H (no COD’s accepted). Plus, if you buy one in the next thirty minutes you will get a shoe box full of medals and pins and things absolutely FREE!
What? Are we gearing up for a new round of grand champeen phonies? LOL!
Gee, this is the kind of turd that if he was in a movie you would want to see drop-kicked in the dick by an angry midget.
@33: BUT WAIT – THERE’S MORE! Each and every one comes with a BONUS 3-Time CIB! Yes, you too can be a “Hero Impossible!” But this Special Offer expires soon, so you gotta act FAST! CAAAAAALL NOOOOOWWWW!!!
the Infantry Museum holds the roll of all triple CIB awardee’s if memory serves me. Hope someone from Regiment has a W2W consoling session. I wish id have a crack at him. Almost as bad as that tollesson crakhead from jersey…
I was Navy and had an ARCOM and AAM. Its not unheard of. NAMs depend on the command. My command handed them out like candy.
@ExHack. “And if you order before midnight, we’ll include a free Conglomco turnip twaddler, just pay separate shipping and handling. Operators are standing by!”
@39: The One Size Fits All dress uniform is made by Ronco, Sir, As Seen On TV (TM). And don’t you forget it!
@39 – [As infomercial sidekick] Holy mackerel! A real honest to gosh turnip twaddler (dubbed announcer voice: “by Conglomco!”)? For FREE?? It couldn’t possibly get any better than that, could it? *wink*
segue…
I’m also thinking with 3 CIBs and a PH, he might have at least one Bronze Star. Not a given, but odds might be pretty good
All that stuff he has from the uniform to the medals is not from Ronco (TM) or Conglomco (TM). It is all from “Bob and Tom’s”, Friggemall Idustries! 😀
@43. Nice Bob and Tom reference.
@40. But can it be ordered as a “Snuggie”?
Bedwetter
I made E-7 in 7 (18E)and have multiple friends that made it in 6 (18X). making 7 is like getting your E-4 in SF…super easy, but this guy…no way,lol.
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It looks like he’s wearing a USMC or USCG good conduct medal under the PH. My guess is that he is a former LCpl.
I tend to get odd looks when sporting the CIB and dolphins, but I have the paperwork, and the good sense not to start tossing on the 75th crests, tabs, and stars on the CIB.