Anchorage Valor Thief
William Joe Westfall, Valor Thief
Our own ninja sends us the sad tale of one William Joe Westfall, who decided to parlay his honorable Vietnam Era service into false claims for personal benefit.
Not satisfied with his time as a Navy E-6 computer technician who never set foot in-country, Billy Joe here filed false Medicare and Social Security claims, and supplied a forged DD-214 to the VA.
He was caught.
Anchorage Man Pleads Guilty to Fraud Charges
Involving passports and the receipt of $518,401 in fraudulent government benefits
ANCHORAGE – An Anchorage man was charged by information today and immediately pleaded guilty to passport fraud, health care benefits fraud, false statements relating to health care benefits, Social Security benefits fraud and false statements.
According to court documents, William Joe Westfall, 72, was born in 1949 and served in the U.S. Navy from July 1972 – July 1978. He was a computer technician and retired as a Petty Officer First Class. He did not serve in the Vietnam War, was never stationed in Vietnam, and never traveled to Vietnam or the waters near Vietnam during his service in the U.S. Navy.
Despite his true past, Westfall applied for Medicare benefits in December 2010 stating that he was born in 1941 when he knew that he was born in 1949. Based on this false information, U.S. agencies determined that Westfall was eligible for Medicare and additional Social Security benefits. Since this time, Westfall has received more than $44,000 in Medicare benefits to which he was not entitled and $144,000 more than he was entitled to in Social Security benefits.
In June 2011, Westfall applied for Veterans Health Administration (VHA) medical benefits. In support of his application, Westfall submitted a military discharge document known as a DD-214 to establish eligibility based on prior service in Vietnam. The DD-214 showed his alleged Vietnam War service and 1941 birth year. Westfall also later claimed to have been a diver in the U.S. Navy, suffered hearing loss as a result of his Vietnam service and to have been exposed to Agent Orange in order to obtain a service-related disability determination through the Veterans Benefits Administration (VBA). The DD-214 and statements about his service in Vietnam, including the associated health issues arising from that service, were false.
He has pled guilty, will pay full restitution and faces up to 10 years in a Federal lockup. Photos of bike, vest and service animal unavailable at posting.
Thanks, ninja.
Category: Dick Stepping, Guest Link, Stolen Valor
I’m guessing some 58,200+ who actually served in-country would willingly trade places with him.
If they were still alive.
Here’s hoping that meat-gazing dildoheaded booger-eating pus-nuts didn’t have a dog as part of his con games.
Turd.
I hope he sucked d*ck for money somewhere along the line.
He looks like he blows winos behind bus stops for spare change.
(Taken from the Department of Justice, U.S. Attorney’s Office, District of Alaska)
As part of his plea agreement, Westfall will pay full restitution of $518,401.81 and faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison.
My Alpha, Sierra, Sierra he will!
Jail him, sell his house & possessions and maybe then I’ll be a believer!
“The DD-214 and statements about his service in Vietnam, including the associated health issues arising from that service, were false. In total, Westfall received $331,401.81 in VBA and VHA benefits to which he was not entitled.”
“This conviction demonstrates the VA OIG’s unwavering commitment to protect programs intended to assist veterans that have served this nation and rightfully earned their benefits,” said Special Agent in Charge Jason P. Root of the Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Inspector General’s Northwestern Field Office.”
Wait, what?
So, the VA just believed this guy and the DD214 he handed them, and never once did an official records search to back up his claims.
You’re bragging on how committed you are in protecting vet’s benefits (and patting yourself on the back), but maybe, just maybe if you had done your job in properly vetting this phony Arschloch, he wouldn’t have run up the tab to a cool 331K. IDIOTS!!
Plus, let’s not forget Wilted Willy’s fraudster brother that the VA refuses to do anything about, with his false Agent Orange and fake PTSD claims, as a dental technician.
Co@ksucking, embellishing, POS. IMO, an embellisher such as William Joe Westfall is more despicable than a straight up phony. This sissy punk bitch is standing on the bodies and in the blood of the 58K+, as Hondo pointed out, that died in The Viet of the Nam…and the 100s of Ks that served there and 10s of Ks that were wounded, physically and mentally. He may not have that 1K yard stare, but, as pointed out by API, he does have that meat gazing stare. Bet he was a fan room favorite when he was “under way” or “not at the pier”.
I do hope that the Bois in Cell Block C phuque him as deeply as he phuqued the taxpayers with his lying, embellishing theivery. ESAD MOFO!
A question he was asked when he was running for Mayor of Anchorage:
What is the latest book you’ve read? Or, what book do you recommend and why?:
UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES. Because there always will be.
Like lying to the VA & SSA to get benefits you never earned or deserved and then getting caught? LMAO
His Instagram handle is…wait for it……. akvietvet907
“…Westfall, 72, was born in 1949 and served in the U.S. Navy from July 1972 – July 1978. He was a computer technician and retired as a Petty Officer First Class.”
“He did not serve in the Vietnam War, was never stationed in Vietnam, and never traveled to Vietnam or the waters near Vietnam during his service”.
“He submitted a DD-214 to establish eligibility based on prior service in Vietnam. The DD-214 showed his alleged Vietnam War service and 1941 birth year. Westfall also later claimed to have been a diver in the U.S. Navy, suffered hearing loss as a result of his Vietnam service and to have been exposed to Agent Orange in order to obtain a service-related disability determination through the Veterans Benefits Administration (VBA).”
“During the interview, Westfall lied to agents by again falsely claiming he was born in 1941, served in Vietnam and was exposed to Agent Orange along the Mekong River Delta.”
How did he get away with all of this for years? 🤔
The same way that Wilted Willy’s brother has gotten away with it for years, ninja. And the Chippendale Seal. And many, many others.
Some OIG types apparently care about fraud. Others? Not so much.
Hondo: These are the type of folks that really tick me off when it comes to lying or embellishing their Military service to obtain $$$ courtesy of our tax dollars.
Ironically, alot of them are “conservative”. They have no problem knocking down the welfare system via Social Media, but fail to look at themselves in the mirror.
Check out Westfall’s Facebook and his agenda when running for Mayor. He is not the first Dude who claims Die-Hide Conservative status while stealing taxpayer $$$ to benefit himself.
The Irony. Projection At Its Best. Hope ALL of them caught.
Hmmm:
“Photos of bike, vest and service animal unavailable at posting.”
Roger that.
But he does have the dumbass-looking, white-framed, mirror-lens, wrap-around sunglasses and the Viet of the Nam Veteran ballcap adorned with POSer bling.
So he’s got that going for him. Which is NICE.
The bigger the word Vietnam the bigger the fraud.
Ditto. My ball cap with all my vietnam/post-vietnam bling only says “special forces” and only has mini-pins for patches and badges I actually earned. But then I only wear it on Veterans Day.
Mine says “LL BEAN” in barely visible script.
Everyone at Brucies Bath House (entrance in the rear) knows Billy Jo by his call sign… Rump Rider.
Wonder what ever became of good ole Alaska Bob Glaves, another Vietnam Phony:
https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=90905
ninja,
Good catch.
Not only Alaska Bob,
but Kelly’s Canyon.
“Wall Before I Die” tour… to Wall, South Dakota.
And then a backtrack to Sturgis, South Dakota.
Just in time for Sturgis Motorcycle Rally week.
[‘Wall before I die’: Vietnam War veteran starts ride to D.C. memorial
Bob Glaves joined by Kelly Cook of Pennies for Quarters
in bucket list bid, fundraising effort]
https://www.peninsuladailynews.com/news/wall-before-i-die-vietnam-war-veteran-starts-ride-to-d-c-memorial/
“He [Glaves] said his attorney has since advised him not to address any specifics.”
https://www.peninsuladailynews.com/news/veterans-background-questioned/
Daisy Cutter,
lolol
Remember Alaska Bob claimed
he mailed a legit copy of his DD-214?
But somehow, it never made the news
that anyone ever received it?
Sure would be nice to finally get a peak
at the dicked up “electronic copy of his discharge paperwork, a DD Form 214, that said “SE Asia records restricted.””
I imagine his fat ass is in some roadside bar drinking up the donation money.
Green Thumb,
Between motorcycle repairs, upgrades, bling, and Sturgis,
most of that donation money never left South Dakota.
Apparently, the news reporting outfit thinks that someone getting out of the military after 6 years is, “retired”.
I’m Retired USAF and was a USAF Brat, and so I have no knowledge on the workings of the USN.
Can one make E-6 in six years in the Navy?
With the right rate at the right time, it’s possible, but not the norm. I’ve seen a few people put on First Class right at the six year mark.
I had one guy in my class that got selected for Chief at just over seven years. He’d probably tell you that his CPO season was interesting, to say the least.
Guilty.
I did. Not uncommon in some fields, such as nukes, etc. In fact there was a story of a young gentleman who made Chief in right at 6 years, if you can believe it.
If you do 5 years in Federal Service you are vested and due a retirement check. That f’king union is the most powerful in the world.
Um, no – with the exception of a medical retirement for disability, that’s not generally how it works in either the military or civilian Federal service.
In most cases a current Federal employee needs 30 years of credible service and must meet minimum age criteria (55 to 57, depending on when they were born) to retire with an immediate annuity. (Early retirement can sometimes be authorized when agencies are reducing payroll, but that generally requires 25 years of service.) The only Federal civilian employees who can retire with 5 years of service are those who (1) already meet minimum age requirements (55 to 57), and (2) who elect to take a deferred retirement – e.g., the annuity doesn’t start until age 62. (There are a few other conditions as well, but I’ll omit those for brevity).
https://stwserve.com/want-to-leave-federal-service-deferred-retirement-might-be-an-option/
Absent TERA or disability, military retirement generally requires 20 years of credible service.
Billy Joe Jim Bob’s most recent post, on the Book of the Fake.
(paste)
Having worked with Seals in the Navy in Submarines and UDT,
I support these fellows wholeheartedly.
They deserve to be in office for at least one term. (end paste)
Could be true.
He also sports a “US Submarine Service” cap.
Could be true. It could happen.
But now that the bullshit meter is pegging….
BONUS – Hat off photos on the Book of the Fake,
Westfall has an uncanny resemblance to the
former Pennsylvania Health Secretary, and current Biden appointee Admiral 17th Assistant Secretary for Health for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).
That is,
if Admiral Secretary grew out a biker beard and ‘stache.
Substitute sled (snowmobile, Arctic Cat, 1) for bike (motorcycle, Harley, 1),
and Billy Joe Jim Bob is all set.
Your parents, friends, and loved ones in nursing homes
are perfectly safe during this pandemic.
My mother’s new upscale hotel accommodations
are a private matter family decision,
and none of the public’s mf business.
Now, excuse me while I pursue a bigger name and paycheck for myself, and get myself more national attention,
and some military rank and bling.
“Having worked with Seals in the Navy…”
Seals.
— SIGH —
Wonder if ol’ Billy Joe here also ever worked with anyone in the Marine Corp.
Mick,
Knowing his actual MOS/Rate would be the kicker.
“Computer Technician” in the early 1970s
was a mainframe / data processing environment.
You know, in a landlubber Navy admin or HQ building.
Not a submarine,
and certainly nowhere near SEAL UDT training
or SEAL work.
I should have added a “sarcasm” tag to my comment.
I was pointing out that this embellishing assclown uses “Seals” rather than SEALs, just as other POSers can’t spell Marine Corps correctly (i.e. Marine Corp).
Both are usually pretty strong indicators that the POSer in question was never around actual SEALs or Marines.
My ship’s CO had some deal with the SF groups (EOD and SEALs) in 5th Fleet where they were able to come onboard our small minesweeper in Bahrain for shipboard quals.
Anyways. I had some SEALs come onboard my ship and get ESWS signatures so they could get their pin in what at the time was like record breaking time (maybe like a month or so). They all got their Navigation section signatures signed off pretty quick and was like, “Okay, who do I see to get this section signed off too?”
Waddayaknow. Guess I worked with the SEALs too! QMC for Congress 2024!
In Iraq I my Platoon did two missions with Delta, nothing sexy we were just their ride and then cordon, and a couple with the SAS, once again nothing sexy we were just their ride and cordon. I guess that means that I worked with Delta and the SAS. We are going to take Congress by storm in 2024.
I rode a C-130 into southern Germany for a night infiltration jump with an SAS team. I guess that means I “worked” with them. I also have a 22nd SAS regiment diploma for their CQB course I did in Hereford. So, I guess I’m SAS qualified. Since that team of SEALs took ski training with me in Maine. They were definitely working to stay upright on those WWII WhiteStar skis. So, I “worked” with them, too, as I hadn’t learned to ski yet either.
(I had fewer problems than they did cuz I had a few lessons and was using my civilian downhill skis and civilian cross-country skis, like everyone else in the 10th Group.)
So, what is the color of the boathouse at Hereford? 😀
I never saw one. I can tell you the color of the shoot house. IIRC, it was dark green. The last British Army unit I saw with boats was the Guards No.1 Independent Parachute Company. They had collapsible kayaks. I would imagine the SAS has them, as well.
The SAS team on my EC-130 had dirt bikes they were going to drop in with them. I saw that SAS team on the ride back to England and they said their test of dirt bikes used on a UW exercise was a total success.
Bobby Money only wishes he could have lived your life.
Who is Bobby Money?
Robert DeNero.
“What’s the color of the boathouse at Hereford?” (Ronin 1998) – Bing video
There is no boathouse on the compound at Hereford. It’s a few miles from the river Wye. There is a “boathouse” in Hereford on the river for the local rowing club – no affiliation with the SAS training facility – that’s brown brick colored.
I always thought that was the genius of the line in the movie. The correct response would have been “There’s no f@#&ing boathouse at Hereford, you tw@t.”
I was only there for fifteen days fifty years ago. And I didn’t recall the base being near the river. But I would imagine they would do any kayak training on the Wye as it runs through the city.
My Swiss Army knife is red and the Swiss Army is undefeated in the last 600 years on their own ground.
Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt. That is the first thing they teach you.
For him, it would be bathhouse…
Westfall, that is.
I gave you updoots because I thought you were talking about DeNiro.
Hey, wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute here.
I have a few buddies who were SEALs.
I also knew some Army SF guys back in the day, and I saw some SAS soldiers once when I was TAD in the UK.
Looks like I’m a Triple Threat of Badassery, and I never even knew it!
Yup, that qualifies you as a dangerous dude. You can be a legend in your own mind.
Ha!
Question:
This guy stated on a local Jacksonville news station that he retired from the US Navy after serving 21 years.
Please look at his rank in the article/video.
What am I missing? 🤔
https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/20
22/03/25/i-team-military-veteran-says-his-retirement-checks-stopped-hes-owed-thousands/
https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2022/03/25/i-team-military-veteran-says-his-retirement-checks-stopped-hes-owed-thousands/
Petty Officer Second Class rank insignia (E-5) on his ballcap. Don’t know his rate.
Maybe AW1Ed, HMCS(FMF), Jeff LPH-3, Ex-PH2, or some of our other TAH Fleet Sailors can provide some insight on how a Navy E-5 retires after 21 years.
Maybe busted at NJP/Court Martial and booted out into retirement?
Thank You, Mick!
Just wondering if that is normal to retire at that rank after serving 21 years.
You could retire at 21 years as an E5 back in 2002. HYT didn’t come into effect until close to 10 years later if I recall correctly.
It would be really great if the VA went to the extremes to deny phonies free stuff as hard as they go to those same extremes to deny real veterals the stuff they earned.
Apparently they don’t though.
Well, they’re making up for being snowed by the phonies, you see…
I’ve got the feeling that this may draw in a Sockpuppet or two…
Go big or go home…
He wasn’t angling for a few discounts and a free meal at Denny’s…NO! He wanted the WHOLE ENCHALATA! How’s it gonna taste? My guess like a ‘tossed salad’.
With syrup or jelly?
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmyl770F0H1qf3rk4o1_400.jpg
I nominate this meat-gazing Elmer’s Glue-eating turd burglar to receive the Official TAH® Hemisphere of Insults™️!
SECOND! Can I get an AYE?
AYE!
Open ‘er up, both barrels and nape the remnants!!!
*PTUI*
Aye.
Looks like I’m being tasked here and we have all the Robert’s Rules in order….
I’ll have to put a package together for old Billy Joe here.
Be right back this afternoon….
😘
SCORCH the Earth and salt his fields!!
Don’t spare the napalm and willie pete!
This one hits close to home for me, seeing as how I lost my father to Agent Orange exposure just two years ago. Dad did one tour as an officer in the 11th ACR (66-67) and three more short tours (3 months) as a DOD civilian historian. He traveled all over the country and was exposed to AO quite a bit. When he was diagnosed with ALS in 2019 the VA considered it 100% service connected.
F’ing dirtbag. I hope they throw him in the darkest hole in a cold prison.
A truly “Phildoesque” dude.
I wonder if he hired Lori Benton? She would probably use the “Phil Monkress” defense.
OK Folks,
Per your request and the following votes, Ole Billy Bob here with the giant melon above is about to get the Special Treatment.
Better learn the Tossed Salad Man techniques Billiam.
Here comes the CHOO CHOO!!!
<b> The As(s)teroid of Insults®™ </b>
(aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
DANGER CLOSE!!!!
MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
TAKE COVER!!!!!
<b> William (Billy Bob) Joe (Jerkoff) Westfall (Call the Ball), HEY DICKLESS (SUPER Dickless) WONDER, (“Yes, it’s true this man has no dick!” …**HT to Ghostbusters**) We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, </b>, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, His ground screw is loose,
You flaccid piece of tofu, broke taint cocksucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, YOU’RE the reason Joe Biden tried to throw himself down the stairs of Air Force One, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Anal ring dome probably left over from bobbing for apples in the porta potty, When he wants to put on some mood music, he has Alexa play Dueling Banjos, Watching this particular dipshit fling his shit story, is almost like watching a pack of dipshits try to fuck a door knob some days, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, weiner bucket, Cambodian cunt sauce, It takes a special talent to swallow a beach ball without popping it. he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong,
bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !, Soup Sandwich, 24K shittyassed prick of a candyass primadonna atomic duodenal weasel, his actions leave us all with a sour taste in our mouths akin to sucking a rotten lemon out of a cat’s butthole. This turd has such a high option of himself that he thinks he shits ice cream, and there aren’t enough spoons to go around for all of us, if your Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, I hope he chokes to death on the first dick he gets forced to suck in prison , Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons,
O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, I hope that this dood bursts into flames the next time he takes a shit, that he suffers the pain and agony consistent with practicing self-immolation and ends up completely destroyed as if he were a victim of spontaneous human combustion, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, I hope you end up in Hell with gasoline soaked boxers, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, twinkle dick, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party
What a bag of fetid skunk anuses in the July full noon sun, next to a sewerage treatment facility outside of Newark Airport, New Jersey, And that bag is smoking a cheap cigar that is 50% tire, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick, it looks like either the Clothing Sales Awards and Decorations aisle threw up on him, OR, a very localized tornado raged through the BX and he was the sole survivor
Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, you know what?, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, Up yours with knobs on, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel, I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on,
Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butter If you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, The only thing that he is good for is pulling targets on the Hand Grenade Range, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass,
You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker,
You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!,
Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Someone should take your fake shit and shove it so far up your ass that you’ll never be able to wear a cover correctly, Nut hugger,
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, cock-sucking piece of shit, overused prison fuckboy, Because it’s a hazard to all mankind and it’s my opinion, the sloot you wiggled out of, the gaping cloaca from which your mother excreted you, should be added to the EPA’s Superfund site, and because it’s highly unlikely it will ever be again, habitable for humanity, should probably be sealed up for all eternity, much like the Agbogbloshie Dumpsite in Accra, Ghana, with Chernobyl coming in a close second, tittyfuck cum spatter (Shamelessly stolen and credited, Terminal Lance …https://terminallance.com/2017/02/28/terminal-lance-461-drill-instructor-academy/?fbclid=IwAR36LjF848ATFa879zl5OZ6An7xsUuRL1_-VASzLgdLTI-p5o4g14ylaXE4) and from the Book of Face comments, if I could, I’d shove you back into your mother’s pussy so the doctor can FINISH the abortion, Peter-Puffer,
I bet the knobs of all the cocks you’ve ever sucked are shinier than the arse end of a bald eagle in a nose dive!, ncid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Harebrained duckfucker, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, untreated, festering pus pocket, You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, you twink, You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, It’s impossible to underestimate you, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job, oh wait, you *SHOULD* be ashamed too, because, the more the merrier, You are the human version of period cramps, If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day, you thought you’d be nice the other day and you lent a girl an umbrella, so, that makes the total of girls you’ve made wet this year -1,
if you were a trophy at the end of my race, I’d walk backwards, you try to present yourself as a knight in shining armor but really, you’re a loser in tinfoil, if you were ever a teacher, your students would never wear a seatbelt while driving to school, because they’d want to die before ever having to take one of your classes, you’re what Olive Garden is to real Italians, He has the facial expression of a washed-out panhandler you see at finer Bus Stations everywhere, he looks like Hunter Biden’s stunt double. If he was on Prison Bachelor, he would offer his cellmate his brown rose, you have a chronically, domestically abused, tiny pee pee, this valor poacher thinks he’s so hot and such an intellect, that he gets a semi chub (all that he is able) by his actions and subsequently, is in danger of raising blood blisters on his Third Thumb due to the protracted use of his Special Purpose Magnifying Glass and eyebrow tweezers,
You just **HAVE** to have any attention you can get, eh you rabbit fucked, chihuahua, shit-for-brains, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?!, the only currency he should be dealing with is cigarettes (fags for you Brits) while he’s in the pokey and he is known to be a pack a day smoker of the cock, Sphincter reaper, That ‘stash you may or may not have (if you had one) looks like Goal Post for a Dick…. Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead, cunt giblets (Thanks ASMDSS), If this goose shit gobbling mongoloid were an MRE, he would be Spaghetti and Dick, is a sack sucking semen slurper, nut nibbling nincompoop, and jizz juicing jackoff. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, Your face makes onions cry, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer,
Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, You have the kind of creepy ass grin like you like slipping in the shower and falling on dicks, you look like the type of guy that trolls the harsh urban streets for rando destitute, impoverished, tainted, desperate dudes to fuck start your face for you, fuck this dude with a cactus, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer,
ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, This twat is gayer than Liberace skydiving ass first into a canyon of buttplugs, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso,
he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, Weeping Pustule on the Whipworm Shat by a Flea Plucked from the Hairy Anus of a Noble Bilge Rat, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad,
less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, He never joined Columbia Record Club because he could not afford a penny, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, He is so stupid, he buys matinee tickets at a drive in theater, His erectile dysfunction and impotence is so severe that his continual dick-beating of such pointlessness amazes anyone that is so unfortunate as to be acquainted with him,
Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, you are such a disappointment to the human race, I think I’m gonna have to court your slovenly, unhinged, cow of a Mother, in real life, second only to the character Annie Wilkes in Misery, and then hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box, such that another chromosomally challenged creature like you never occurs again, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer,
this is the kinda guy who’s feet swing when he’s on the toilet, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine, perpetual Turd that just keeps circling the bowl and will never flush, Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, This motherfucking guy makes my ass itch, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts
putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, this fartlump is the human embodiment of a $2 haircut, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster,
pre-pubescent, hairless ballsack here has all the charm and charisma of a burning port-a-shitter, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid, Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid
Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, His mother made it be known that he had a Do Not Resuscitate declaration when she would take him for a haircut, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared Gorilla Glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned
(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, You’re like the end piece of a bread loaf. Everyone touches you but nobody wants you, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, puborectalis spasm, you are so bad, you’re a disappointment to the table of elements and the molecules that they represent, that came from space to form humans on Planet Earth, you are so awful, you make humanity want to beg for a near extinction level, asteroid impact event, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker,
Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, He is so stupid, he overdosed on placebos. dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard,
when you hear that he claims to be suffering from TBI or PTSD, it’s not the traditional definition but He suffers from TBI (Tiny Ball Insecurity) as well as PTSD (Penis Too Small Disorder.) He has a face that screams “Amber Alert”, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented sucking dicks, kutomba wewe, This clown dresses up like the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) for Easter, and likes to squat and drop colored Easter eggs out of his asshole, for the assorted homeless that gather for such festivities, next to the dumpster and used grease and cooking oil disposal bin, behind the Pilot Flying J truck stop, until either the consumables are depleted or the mob disperses.
That is a thing of real beauty Chip, brings a tear to the eye.
But there’s MORE!!!!!! 😅
Bonus points if an accidental, bleeding, rectal prolapse and depressed crying occurs for the gathered audience. And the crowd goes wild!! Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal,
If there was a stadium full of assholes, like maybe a medium sized NFL stadium, say 70,000 assholes, all sizes and colors, pink, brown, black, red, yellow, green, and then all types, big, small, middle, inflamed, dripping, unclean, festering, etc, a gun would go off and then fireworks and a cheer would arise and build to a deafening crescendo and there, on the 50 yard line, the lights would come up and the announcer would say, “Yes, there he is folks, let’s have a round of applause…” and the stadium would start doing the wave and then more cheering, a cacophony of assholes, at first softly and then building, building, “king, king, king, king, King, King, King, King, KING, KING, KING, KING!!!! <b> KING OF THE ASSHOLES!!!!</b>, yes, quite a feat but you’ve achieved it. And you’re such a self-centered asshole, you’d take a bow, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service,
you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, If the Road of Life was paved with dicks, this guy would walk through it on his ass, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, has all the charm and charisma of a burning Orphanage, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz,