James Henry Kapner; phony SEAL, phony wounded Vietnam veteran

| March 14, 2018

Our partners at Military Phonies share another phony SEAL with us. This one, Jim Kapner, claims that he was wounded while he was serving as a SEAL in Vietnam.

Folks wonder how we’re able to spot so many phonies, it’s easy because they begin talking about their secret military records at every opportunity without any prompting. A case in point;

Mr Kapner retired from the active duty Navy and Reserves after 22 years as an AE1 – an Aviation Electronics Mate 1st Class, an E-6. But no awards for Vietnam service, no Combat Action Ribbon, no Purple Heart, no SEAL training.

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

68 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
2/17 Air Cav

Some people wonder why someone with honorable service would piss all over it by making false claims. I don’t. I wonder what sort of very special asshole who served in the military for so long could bring himself to steal others’ valor, accomplishments, and sacrifices.

M48DAT

One of dem der SEALs with a Marine ball cap. Totally legit.

Graybeard

Glad I didn’t have coffee in my mouth when I read this.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

……cause seals are marine mammals….duh 😉

He looks more like a walrus anyway.

E4 Mafia For Life.

I only keep track of Army SEALS.
One of you jar heads will have to maintain the Marine SEAL database.

USAF RET

What is it with the hat wearers? What an Asshat

26limabeans

Looks like he has a bad case of hair pulling.

AW1Ed

Welcome to Google James Henry Kapner, fake SEAL. The Interwebs are forever.

#28 YTD. *sigh*

Graybeard

I’mma gonna need a bigger spreadsheet.

Daisy Cutter

I heard that in a movie once… Jaws.

Graybeard

Really? That is one movie I never saw – possibly cause swimming in the ocean already gives me the heebee-jeebees.

I suppose from watching 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea and the scene with the giant squid.

Daisy Cutter

It was facetious… if you never saw it the actual line was.

We’re going to need a bigger boat.

(actually, I thought that was your underlying joke since it is a famous expression about everythign that needs a bigger solution to a problem)

AW1Ed

“…possibly cause swimming in the ocean already gives me the heebee-jeebees.”

Really? They used to pay me for that, but jumping in was more fun than going back into the helo. ‘Prolly why my back is AFU.
*grin*

hoist

E4 Mafia For Life.

I was 8 years old when I saw Jaws.
Dude getting eaten in half was my first exposure to a horror scene.
It’s a dated but classic movie.
Total crap now.
Especially with such new blockbusters as:
Sharknado
Sharktopus
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda
Sharktopus vs. Mermantula
Sharktopus Vs. Whalewolf
Sand Sharks
The 2 and 3 Headed Shark Attacks
Ghost Shark
Zombie Shark
Piranha Sharks
Jurassic Shark
Sky Sharks

I think Roger Corman would not even fund these even if they went straight to WalMart bargain bin on recycled VHS tapes.

IDC SARC

“the giant squid”

I hit it.

Atkron

Go Navy!

/sarc

mr. sharkman

GO NAVY

😉

rgr769

James Henry Kapner is winner of Fake SEAL of the Day. But he is just another in the never ending parade of phony SEALs. Kapner should change his name to Krapner, cuz that is just what he did to his otherwise honorable military career. He did complete that special course in “Corrosion Control,” so he has that going for him.

USAF RET

TAH is already #1 when you google this dude.

OWB

Dang – I have a hat just like his. Mine fits much better.

A Proud Infidel®™

DUMBSHIT!!!

Graybeard

To summarize for Google-eyes:
James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Navy SEAL.
James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Vietnam Vet.
James Henry Kapner had honorable service, but has dishonored his own service and the name of his family with his lies.
James Henry Kapner is an egocentric idiot.
James Henry Kapner thinks he is a secret squirrel, but is instead a public laughingstock.
James Henry Kapner wanted everyone to look at him. He now has his wish. Everyone is looking at James Henry Kapner and mocking him for his stupidity.
Enjoy it, James Henry Kapner. You earned it.

HMCS(FMF) ret

Just to make sure that I am reading you post correctly, Graybeard

James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Navy SEAL.
James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Vietnam Vet.
James Henry Kapner had honorable service, but has dishonored his own service and the name of his family with his lies.
James Henry Kapner is an egocentric idiot.
James Henry Kapner thinks he is a secret squirrel, but is instead a public laughingstock.
James Henry Kapner wanted everyone to look at him. He now has his wish. Everyone is looking at James Henry Kapner and mocking him for his stupidity.
Enjoy it, James Henry Kapner. You earned it.

But it looks like the only special ops that JAMES HENRY KAPNER has done were at Brucie’s Bath House, where JAMES HENRY KAPNER is known to all patrons as the SQUEAKHOLE WARRIOR!

A Proud Infidel®™

Commo check, I read:

James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Navy SEAL.
James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Vietnam Vet.
James Henry Kapner had honorable service, but has dishonored his own service and the name of his family with his lies.
James Henry Kapner is an egocentric idiot.
James Henry Kapner thinks he is a secret squirrel, but is instead a public laughingstock.
James Henry Kapner wanted everyone to look at him. He now has his wish. Everyone is looking at James Henry Kapner and mocking him for his stupidity.
Enjoy it, James Henry Kapner. You earned it.

Read you five by five,

((((OVER))))

Combat Historian

Fake SEAL, fake Vietnam service, fake WIA; the only item JAMES HENRY KAPNER didn’t hit for the perfect poser quadfecta was claiming to be a phony POW, although the POW stuff may be in the secret classified personnel file he claims to have…

Daisy Cutter

James Kapner – No fear, no comment

Mick

And once again, a classic poser play straight from the tattered, well-worn, dog-eared pages of the Official TAH Poser 101 Handbook (from over at the Military Phonies page linked above):

Assclown here says that he’s not in the SEAL data base due to his “covert” status.

“Then on his timeline a friend had thanked him for his service. Another friend stated that they were told he wasn’t a SEAL and asked why he wasn’t on the SEAL database, is it because his covert status.  And this TURD states Yup and he was on SEAL Team 5, bad news TURD SEAL Team Five wasn’t around then.”

Atkron

Holy bald-headed Martha…this Dick Eye was in C-9 squadrons his whole career? Not one frigging day aboard ship? Not even an overseas tour?

His squadrons are what we used to get transported when we would go on Det, or when we traveled up to Norfolk to catch the ship.

Nothing more than a shorted out One-Wire.

Bob Motter

Nice! And retired as an E-6. Oh My!

stewburner

20+ years and no sea time, did he ever see water – what an SOB. I was a bubblehead and 1 thing we weren’t tied to the pier like his navy career.

Wilted Willy

So Graybeard, I just want to make sure I truly understand your previous statement. Did you meand to say, o summarize for Google-eyes: James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Navy SEAL. James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Vietnam Vet. James Henry Kapner had honorable service, but has dishonored his own service and the name of his family with his lies. James Henry Kapner is an egocentric idiot. James Henry Kapner thinks he is a secret squirrel, but is instead a public laughingstock. James Henry Kapner wanted everyone to look at him. He now has his wish. Everyone is looking at James Henry Kapner and mocking him for his stupidity. Enjoy it, James Henry Kapner. You earned it. And HMCS, Did you correctly understand Graybeard’s post to mean, Just to make sure that I am reading you post correctly, Graybeard James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Navy SEAL. James Henry Kapner is not and never has been a Vietnam Vet. James Henry Kapner had honorable service, but has dishonored his own service and the name of his family with his lies. James Henry Kapner is an egocentric idiot. James Henry Kapner thinks he is a secret squirrel, but is instead a public laughingstock. James Henry Kapner wanted everyone to look at him. He now has his wish. Everyone is looking at James Henry Kapner and mocking him for his stupidity. Enjoy it, James Henry Kapner. You earned it. But it looks like the only special ops that JAMES HENRY KAPNER has done were at Brucie’s Bath House, where JAMES HENRY KAPNER is known to all patrons as the SQUEAKHOLE WARRIOR! I just wanted to make sure that JAMES HENRY KAPNER, is indeed a lying ballsack warrior and a SQUEAKHOLE lying SEAL poser and a phony sparkle pony? Just wanted to be sure of the facts. And one more thing, if you really want to see a lying ballsack warrior, just go back and reread Jonn’s excellent post on my pos brother, “David Doc Shrum” if you really want to… Read more »

A Proud Infidel®™

It’s rumored that James Henry Kapner was only an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance In Rear) when he wasn’t busing tables at The Blue Oyster.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

He DID buss tables at the Blue Oyster, but he then bacame the Glory Hole Attendant. Said he did it for the generous donations 😉

Jay

22 years….good God. And takes a big ol dump on it.

RGR 4-78

A day without a phony SEAL, is like a day without shitty weather.

Atkron

You Army types need to start pumping those rookie numbers up.

This is getting to be a blowout.

RGR 4-78

This is one competition I am glad the Navy is winning.

Aussiepusser

A day without a phony SEAL is like….night

(Credit: Cheech and Chong)

Tx Gunner

Any one else notice how all these fake seals have the exact same “I’m full of shit” look on their face?

A Proud Infidel®™

Except that James Henry Kapner has his mouth open, likely from having Blower’s Cramp!

UpNorth

Maybe JAMES HENRY KAPNER is suffering from lock jaw, a malady he picked up from licking the toilet seats at the Blue Oyster?

NHSparky

Nobody ever accused airedales of being the sharpest tools in the shed, and this guy is doing more than his fair share of demonstrating why.

AW1Ed

While it is true, NHSparky, that what goes up must come down.

However, what goes down doesn’t neceasarily have to come back up.

*grin*

NHSparky

There’s a shitload more planes in the sea than there are submarines in the sky.

Atkron

*Airdale…Airedale is a dog.

…damn bubblehead.

🙂

AW1Ed

Sad, really. All that time “underway on nuclear power.” It’s just like getting a chest X-Ray. Over and over and over and over and…..

See, boys and girls of the Nautically Challenged services? Bubbleheads hate Airdales who hate Blackshoes who hate SeaBees; we’re just not happy unless slamming the other branches of our own Navy, much less you guys.

sbalm

Kapner’s Facebook account is open for comments.

Just sayin’

Wilted Willy

I would love to go leave this asshat some love on Facebook, but since you have to have a login to leave comments, that leaves me out!
If these kinds of cocksuckers keep showing up, I may have to change my policy and sign up for one? What an asshole!

Sparks

Queef.

USAF RET

Looks like shirt-lifter.

AW1Ed

Wonder how many got the reference, USAF RET. Well played.

Perry Gaskill

“Oh stile alive.”

When I read that, I got a mental image of Kapner wearing his hat, and dancing around to Bee Gees disco.

I realize I should probably seek professional help, but there it is.

And where the fuck is Moc Hoa?

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

…in Phuc Dat province, deep in the Khoo Chee valley. Its where Long Duc Dong comes from 🙂

Cameron Kingsley

I take it the main cuisine of that province is the world renowned cream of some young guy?

sbalm

Moc Hoa, as I understand it, is the noise that is made to bring up and spit out a huge lugey.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Seals lead the way. This stuff keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Graybeard

Like an infinite toilet flush.

The Stranger

The problem is that these turds just won’t flush, or if they do, they don’t STAY flushed. Where is Al Bundy’s trusty Ferguson toilet when you need it?

Ex-PH2

IDIOT!!! How come he isn’t posing as a phony CPO?

No imagination at all. IDIOT!!!!

Frankie Cee

I left James Henry Kapner, phony SEAL some love in a facebook message”
“You fucking piece of shit poser. Your false claims to have been a SEAL are going to haunt you for a very long time. Every person that uses your name in a comment at the link below, will generate a gooogle hit, exposing you to anyone who chooses to use gooogle to look into your lies. You might try to go here and unfuck yourself, or you may take the coward’s way out and just block me on facebook, thinking that will make it all go away. It won’t, because me and others like me will keep your name up in lights for a very long time.
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=78239

Paul Dragos

I went on his FB page to leave a nasty comment, and it won’t let me post. In his photo, he’s wearing a cowboy hat and holding a guitar. His last post was in 2013. This was the only Facebook profile I could find. I was an Airedale, so maybe that’s why😀

Green Thumb

Turd.

26Limabeans

Hey, JAMES HENRY KAPNER PHONEY SEAL …
If you want to be a viet of the nam vet so fucking bad then get on a plane and go there. Plenty of work available under ideal sunny weather. You take job there and I will pay your fucking airfare! I still have some slant pocket fatigues you can parade around in while you are there making new friends.

Claw

Naw, James Henry Kapner is too much of a candy-ass to do something like that, actually go to Vietnam.

Just look at the timeline on his FOIA/Record of Assignments. Went in the Navy before things got really started in Vietnam and then stayed in Floriduh for four years.

At the height of the war, when the shooting got really serious, he took a discharge. Then he sat back and waited until things were pretty much over and the troop exodus from Vietnam had started and then he went back in.

During the next 15/16 years he never deployed anywhere outside the Continental United States. Talk about sucking up to the soft life.

And now, all these years later, he’s portraying himself as a SEAL in an attempt to bolster his ego.

I would rate him as just a flat out coward.

Sad.

Russ

Most of his time was with C-130 squadrons, i.e. no sea duty. And 130 avionics were not that hard to work on at the time. Shit, up until the late ’90s most USN/USMC Herks still had electronics dating back to WWII.

Old 1SG, US Army (retired)

What a loser yardbird… couldn’t happy with saying he served. Naw, he had to throw in the SEAL and da Viet of da Nam reference…

Oh, don’t forget the dead bodies, all around him… The city council will probably be assign him to clean-up detail at that new intersection… ya, bodies, all around, everywhere…

Geezz

Andrew Dangerously

If my career was as shitty as his I would lie about it too. 0 days at sea in a 20 year career and clawed his way up to E6? He was pathetic before he started telling people he was a SEAL.